For All the World, For One Man
by Insane Author
Summary: Edward would give up his life for his brother, and does. Roy would give up his life for his Country, but will he? Together or apart, will they be able to fight the giants they are faced with? Formerly "Edward Elric: Hero and Lover."
1. Finding A Solution

_**Rewritten! This is the new version of the chapter. If you want to see the previous version, drop me a review and I'll email it to you or something.**_

**A/N: **That's right, I finally finished rewriting. Please enjoy this new version of the chapter, and let me know if there's something important that I missed. I tried to make it better while at the same time not messing up something that I refer to later. It was hard. Have fun!

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, however much I would like to have a Roy Mustang of my own.

* * *

_**Chapter 1: Finding A Solution**_

"Brother, where have you been? You didn't come home last night." Al asked his brother as the older boy entered their dorm room early one morning. For the past few months Ed had been disappearing in the evenings and not coming home until after dawn. Every time it was the same routine: Ed came back and acted like nothing had happened while Al questioned him. He did not disappoint this day, either.

"Nowhere, Al. It doesn't matter, alright?" Edward sighed, heading to the shower.

"Brother, you're limping." Al murmured quietly, suspecting the reason for this but unwilling to voice it.

"I think I've grown, I need to go see Winry and get the automail adjusted again." Ed brushed Al's suspicions off like so much dust.

Al was not convinced. He was unwilling to blindly follow his brother in something that could very well ruin everything they had worked for. "How is Colonel Mustang?" He asked casually as he sat down on the sofa, armor clanking.

Ed froze for half a second before snorting and nonchalantly replying, "How should I know? Am I his babysitter now?"

But that half-second hesitation was all Alphonse had needed.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

Edward closed a door behind himself as he entered. "You home yet?" He called into the entryway. A dark head poked out of a doorway to his left, smiling.

"You're early." Roy Mustang said happily, coming out of the kitchen wiping his hands on a dish towel. "I was just making dinner."

Ed looked at him forlornly. "I hope you only cooked for one." He murmured.

"Ed?" Roy said, looking a question at the younger man. "What's wrong?"

"We can't do this any more, Mustang." Roy could tell that Ed was trying to distance himself by using his last name. He wouldn't let him do that; he took a few steps, closing the distance between them. "**I** can't do this any more."

"What do you mean, Ed?" Roy asked gently, taking the blonde's smooth chin in his fingers. "What can't you do any more?"

Ed tried to take a step back, but Roy stopped him with an arm around his waist. "I can't see you any more. Al is suspicious, and who knows who else. I won't jeopardise your career for this."

"Ed." A whisper, almost inaudible.

"What, Mustang?" The blond replied, irritated.

"I love you. Now shut up and kiss me."

Well...who was he to disobey a direct order? He complied.

"I love you too, Colonel Bastard."

Maybe he would be staying for dinner after all.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

One day about two weeks later Al showed up unexpectedly in Roy's office...alone. He marched right in and demanded to see the Colonel. Hawkeye could see that it was something important, so she very uncharacteristically allowed an unscheduled appointment.

"Alphonse." Roy said cheerily as the suit of armor entered his office. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Al walked right up to the desk and slammed his hands onto it. "You can stay away from my brother, you bastard."

Roy, having been warned about Al's suspicions ahead of time, pretended ignorance. "I'm his commanding officer." He said, as if Al was being ridiculous.

"That's all you **should** be." Al hissed, "But is that really what you are to him? I know what kind of person you are, Colonel Mustang, and I don't want my brother to get hurt."

"I wouldn't hurt him." Roy protested, briefly forgetting that he was supposed to be playing stupid. "I need his capable hands and his abilities." He amended quickly.

Al shook his head. "If only I could believe that." He murmured. With that, he turned and stalked out. Hawkeye stopped him in the hallway and pulled him aside.

"I know you think you're helping, Al. We've all noticed that Edward and the Colonel are a little more than just commanding officer and subordinate. But if any of the higher-ups get wind of this, they could lose their jobs or get court-martialed. I understand that you want to protect your brother, but I think the best thing you can do for him is to drop this before you bring attention to it." She told him hurriedly.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant Hawkeye. I can't do that. Brother has lost so much already, I don't want to see a man like the Colonel break his heart, too." Al apologised, turning to walk away.

"What do you mean by 'a man like the Colonel?'" She asked angrily.

Al turned back toward her. "He's a good man, I respect his authority and his alchemic abilities. But we all must face the fact that Roy Mustang is a womanizer and fears commitment."

Riza shook her head. "I think he's different now. I think Ed has changed him, more than any of us could possibly know."

"It doesn't matter, Lieutenant Hawkeye, because no matter how much he changes, he's still exactly like me in one way: he can't bear to get too attached to anything or anyone, because he knows how easily they can be torn from you." Without waiting for a reply, he left Central Headquarters.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

"Brother, how can you allow yourself to be fooled by a man like that?" Al asked as Ed came home after another of his nightly escapades.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Al." Edward murmured, sitting on the couch and picking up an alchemy text, apparently disinterested with the conversation.

"I'm tired of being lied to! You lie about where you go at night, Colonel Mustang denied having any relationship with you, at least Hawkeye was straight with me but she told me to just ignore it...I'm just looking out for my brother! I don't want you to get hurt!" Ed had stiffened when he mentioned the Colonel, and was now standing, the book fallen and forgotten on the floor.

"What I do is none of your business, and it's not your job to protect me! You're the **younger** brother. I can take care of myself, you're the one that needs looking after. And as for Hawkeye, she should really keep her nose out of other peoples' business." Ed growled, facing off with his brother even though the suit of armor was nearly two feet taller than him.

"But if your heart gets broken I'm the one who's going to have to pick up the pieces! When he dumps you like he's dumped all his other lovers I'm the one who's going to be there to console you!" Al argued, trying to make a point.

"He would never hurt me like that." Ed whispered savagely.

"How can you know that?" Al responded, shaking his head and putting his hands on his hips.

"Because he loves me!" Ed yelled, the first words in their fight that were spoken loud enough that anyone outside could hear.

"You can be sure of that? Men like him say things they don't mean sometimes." Al's hand moved to touch Ed before deciding better of it.

"It's in every look he gives me, every kiss. It's in the way he makes dinner for me, every night. It's in the long talks, the way he always knows when something is wrong and listens, fixes my problems. It comes out of his mouth, too, but only in the most intimate moments, when we're together, cuddling on the couch after dinner, winding down from a long day...." He looked like he might say more, but trailed off with a blush, realizing his rambling.

Al stood in astonishment for several minutes. Finally, he managed to murmur, "And how do you feel, Brother?"

Ed, still blushing, sighed. "I love him with every fiber of my being, and it's been growing to that point for five years."

Al nodded. "Then I guess there's nothing left to discuss."

They didn't talk about it after that. When Ed came home in the morning Al would be on the couch, reading the newspaper and offering him coffee. It was an unspoken understanding that now that they had come to an agreement it was better to pretend that nothing was going on. It spared Al the details and Ed any embarrassing stories.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

Roy sighed, signing yet another report and placing it in the "finished" stack. Ed had been on a mission in the South for more than two weeks. While Roy was glad that the blond might find what he was looking for, it still pained him to be apart for so long.

"Hey Colonel Bastard. I'm home." His office door burst open and the energetic blond that he had just been thinking about entered, closing the door just as roughly behind him. Roy was surprised how happy hearing the word 'home' come from his lover's mouth made him. Perhaps because he realized that Ed thought of Central as home because Roy was there.

"How did it go?" He asked, standing to receive an awkward hug over his desk. No one could see inside his office, and he didn't really care if they could; it had been too long.

Ed's face fell, and he went about the motions of pulling his report out of his suitcase and giving it to Roy. For once it was not wrinkled, stained, or doodled on. "I found no information on the philosopher's stone." He murmured, "However, I did find a way to get my brother's body back."

The report stated, in detail, exactly what he would have to do, and included the drawing of the transmutation circle used. It made Roy sick. "You're not really going to through with this, are you?"

Ed nodded. "It's the only way. Maybe in ten years someone will develop something better, maybe in twenty, but it's already been seven since we lost everything. He's supposed to be a fifteen year old boy, but instead he's...some sort of monster. I did that to him. I need to set it right. I'm sorry, Roy." There were tears in the fearless Fullmetal Alchemist's eyes.

"Ed, I can't let you do this. I love you...please." Roy murmured, the report falling to the desk as he placed his hands down to steady himself.

"I'm afraid that no matter how much I love you my brother comes first, and always has. You're going to want this." Out of his pocket he pulled his State Alchemist's watch, scratched and dulled from the years of missions. He placed it on the desk on top of his forgotten report.

"Edward...." Roy whispered painfully.

"I'm sorry, really. But I need you to do something for me." Ed pleaded as a single tear ran down his cheek.

"What is it, Ed? I'll do anything." Roy answered firmly, though his voice was broken.

"I want you to watch over my brother after I'm gone. Promise me you'll take care of him." Ed whispered desperately.

Roy nodded, taking a deep breath so he would have the courage to speak. "I promise, Edward. If that's what you ask of me I will do it."

Ed walked around the desk and pulled Roy down for one final kiss. "I love you, Roy Mustang. Never forget that, no matter how many other people take my place."

Roy shook his head, wrapping Edward tightly in his arms. "Never, Ed. You're the only one for me, forever."

Eventually they parted, and with a murmured "Goodbye," Edward Elric left Roy Mustang's life forever.

* * *

There you have it. Much better than the original, right? I'm pretty sure this was also longer, at 1,953 words. I don't think I wrote anywhere how long the other was, but this is almost three pages to the original's two. That's good, right? I need to stop saying that. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think of the new chapter, it would mean a lot to me.


	2. When True Love Leaves You

_**Rewritten! This is the new version of chapter 2! If you're interested in seeing the original, drop me a review and I'll email it to you or something.**_

**A/N:** That's right, I rewrote it. It's better, and it makes more sense. Trust me, I like this version a lot better than the old one. I don't know what the length is like compared to the other, but this is 1,233 words. Have fun!

**Disclaimer:** Who the heck is this Hiromu Arakawa person? Is that even a name? Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to me! (Or not, you know, depending on how you look at it...ok, so I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...and I don't even own copies of the manga, because I have no money...and no, I don't have any plushies either...or a poster...or even an Ed cosplay.)

* * *

_**Chapter 2: When True Love Leaves You**_

Ed sat on the floor in his dorm room, a piece of chalk in his hand. His face was strong, set and determined. He had already painstakingly drawn alchemic symbols all over his own body with a marker, and now he was focusing on the floor, all the furniture moved aside to give him more room. What would take a normal person hours to draw took Edward only a few minutes. He had never been prone to normalcy.

The array finished, Ed sat back for a moment to remember. He supposed that if there was an afterlife he would spend it missing Al and Roy—his family—and his friends. He chose not to acknowledge the man standing just outside his open door. Everything that needed to be said had already been voiced.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

Roy watched as Edward quickly finished a complicated transmutation circle that would boggle a lesser person's mind. The blond sat still for a moment, possibly contemplating. Roy wished he could go in there, wished he could be with Ed for his final moments, but he knew the dangers of getting involved in human transmutation. Only that stayed his hand.

He briefly wondered where Al was, but the young man was quickly forgotten as Ed slammed his hands down, activating the circle and blinding Roy. He heard "Take me, but give my brother back, you Asshole!" and then all was silent. As the light began to fade and Roy could see again he hesitantly made his way into the room. There was a silent, naked figure laying on the floor and if it weren't for the difference in height, Roy would have thought it was Edward.

"Alphonse?" He murmured gently, kneeling next to him. That was when he noticed them. There were two automail limbs lying on the ground next to the softly groaning boy. Apparently wherever Ed had gone, he wouldn't be needing them.

Slowly, Alphonse awoke, and by then Roy had found a blanket from one of the beds to lay over him. Residual energy still crackled all around them, but Roy was more concerned with the boy laying on the ground. "What happened? Last thing I remember I was taking a walk...."

Roy looked at Al sadly. "Hello Alphonse. It's good to have you back."

Al knew without asking what Ed had done. "I told him not to, you know. I said we'd find another way."

"I know." Roy responded, running a hand through his hair. "I did too. I think he just knew it was time. Like he said, someone might find another way eventually, but it could be ten or twenty years before that happened. You're fifteen, and he wanted you to be able to live a normal life."

"Brother always worried more about me than about himself. No matter how happy he was, he would give everything up in a second if it meant making my life even the tiniest bit better. That's why he did this. He had everything—a career, friends, a lover—and he gave it all up for the one who has nothing to live for, especially now that he's gone." Al lowered his gaze and toyed with the edge of the blanket forlornly.

"That's not true, Alphonse. You have friends as well, and family back in Resembool, and you have a **future**. Ed knew he was going to be stuck working for the military for the rest of his life, but you're young and fresh and can do whatever you want. Live the life he's given you, Al. That's all you can do, now." Roy murmured. Tears were running down his cheeks unchecked, and he didn't care. He didn't mind if this boy saw him crying, because he knew that Al was feeling the same things he was at that moment.

"I know. I'm not going to let Brother's sacrifice be in vain. I'm going to...." He trailed off and clutched his head.

"Al?" Roy asked worriedly, a hand going to Al's shoulder of its own accord.

Tremors shook Al's body for several frightening minutes, and then he was still, sitting up straight and breathing deeply. "I'm alright. It was just a flashback. I saw the gate."

Roy stopped breathing. "Al...does that mean...?"

Al nodded. "Yes. I should be able to do alchemy without a circle, just like Brother."

"Don't tell anyone." Roy admonished at once. "If the military gets wind of this they'll do anything to recruit you. I truly mean **anything**. Do you understand?"

Another nod. "I won't let myself be trapped in something like that. I promise not to say anything, or do anything even mildly suspicious."

Roy ruffled the boy's hair. "Good. Now...you'll need a place to stay." He rubbed his temples, considering.

"I can stay here, I don't mind." Al answered at once.

Roy shook his head. "I don't want you to have to live where your brother...anyway, it's better if I arrange other accommodations for you. Besides what I just mentioned, all the residual energy from that transmutation could cause tiny bouts of accidental **or** intentional alchemy to explode. Considering your current condition, I think it would be better if you stayed somewhere else, at least for a while."

"Colonel Mustang, I don't want to go anywhere else. This is where Brother and I stayed for years, it's one of the very few things I have left of him. Can't you let me keep these few memories?" Al pleaded, watery eyes looking up at Roy.

A sigh. "Tell you what: you can stay here, but you have to let my people clean it up and let the residual energy fade first. Deal?" He held out his hand.

Al looked at him skeptically for a moment and then sighed, reaching out to shake his hand. "Deal."

"Good." Roy affirmed. "You can stay with me while you're waiting. I don't think there are any other rooms available here in the dormitory." He offered, then grinning, added, "Also, we should probably get you some clothes."

Al blushed. "Um...thank you for your hospitality, I guess. And...where are we going to find clothes that will fit me?"

Roy smirked amusedly. "I'll ask one of the other men. Surely someone who lives here will have something for you to borrow. When we get to my house I think some of my old things will fit you."

Alphonse nodded appreciatively. "Thank you, Colonel Mustang."

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

They did end up finding something for Al to wear, and then Roy left his subordinates to handle cleaning up the mess and took Al to his home. Before they had left, Al had taken out Ed's old suitcase and removed his old clothing, replacing it with his automail arm and leg. Then Al had picked up a pair of Ed's gloves, looking at them like they could bring his brother back before pulling them onto his own hands. It seemed, despite being taller than Ed had been, his hands were the same size.

It was a quiet walk to Roy's house. Neither of them spoke because neither felt the need to anymore. The most important person in both their lives was gone and there was nothing they could do about it. But they could still live. Ed would have wanted that.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think of the new chapter.


	3. A Painful Reunion

_**Rewritten! This is the new version of chapter 3! If you're interested in seeing the original, drop me a review and I'll email it to you or something.**_

**A/N: **Yay! This is the last of the rewritten chapters. The rest I rewrote from the draft in my head already. This is only 850 words, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Have fun!

**Disclaimer:** I tried to convince Hiromu Arakawa that I own Fullmetal Alchemist, but she sent a cow to eat me. Don't worry, though, I fended it off with my pet vampire cow, Bessy, who lives in my basement.

* * *

_**Chapter 3: A Painful Reunion**_

"Colonel Mustang, I'm leaving." Al announced one morning, coming into Roy's office. Roy looked up in shock. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Al's hair (Which had been long when he got his body back) was braided, and he was wearing a red coat just like Ed's. Roy had to fight back tears because he'd almost mistaken the fifteen year old for Edward.

His mind finally focused on what Al had said. "Leaving? Why would you do that?"

Al laughed, but his laugh was mirthless and hollow. "Why would I stay? I was here because of Brother, and now that he's gone there is nothing for me in Central. Anyway, I got a call from Winry, she says my father is back."

"I'll arrange a train ticket for you then." Roy said dispassionately. So, his final reminder of his missing (He refused to admit that Ed was dead) lover was leaving him. What was he going to do now? _'Get on with my life, of course.'_ He thought sadly. _'After all, it's what Ed would have wanted.'_

"There's no need, Colonel. I've already arranged it. I just came to say good-bye." Al murmured, looking at him sadly.

Roy nodded. "Alright then. I wish you well, Alphonse, and I hope you'll write and let me know how you're doing once in a while."

Al nodded back. "I will, Colonel Mustang. Thank you. For everything." Then, much like Ed had several days before, Al walked out of Roy's office—and possibly his life—forever. He would never again return to Central, and perhaps that was a good thing. The city seemed to be a place of grief and regret.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

Alphonse Elric returned to his hometown with both his heart and his suitcase heavy. He had not let go of Ed's automail arm and leg, nor had he let go of the pain he felt at losing his brother. Perhaps he would never heal. Only time would tell.

Winry greeted him at the station with a weak smile and a shaky hug. She looked genuinely happy to see him, but at the same time he knew it was hard for her, especially considering his appearance. "Winry...I'm sorry." He murmured as she released him.

Winry shook her head. "It's not your fault, Al. None of this is your fault. I'm glad to see you, really. I'm going to miss Ed, but...he did a good thing, he was taking care of his little brother like he hadn't really in years. I'm proud of him."

"Thank you, Winry. Thank you so much." Tears poured down Al's cheeks as they had the first two days after he lost Ed. He pulled Winry into another hug and they stood together on the platform, weeping.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

When they returned to the Rockbell residence Den greeted them excitedly, not understanding what was happening. After him, Pinako and Hohenheim approached. Pinako hugged Al wordlessly and pulled Winry aside to let the two men talk.

"It's good to see you again, Al." Hohenheim murmured, smiling slightly.

Al wiped a hand over his face. "You don't get it, do you? It's hasn't really sunken in yet that your son is dead, has it? Well here's some news for you: You'll never see him again! You know why? Because you left us, Mom died, and we were just trying to have a family again. He had to pay for all of our mistakes, all on his own! Despite what anyone says, he took care of me. He protected me from the worst of what he saw working for the military. I never had to carry the burdens that he did, and I'm grateful for that, at least. But you...you are not my father. If you were my father then you would have been there when Mom died, you would have warned us against performing human transmutation, and Brother would still be alive! All of this is your fault!" Without another word Al ran into the house, desperately fighting to hold back tears.

Hohenheim watched helplessly. Winry turned to him, and murmured, "You have to understand...all he ever had was Ed. He barely remembers their mother anymore. We're all shocked at Ed's death. He was too stubborn to die, despite everything that happened to him. But...he was also stubborn about giving up his life for his brother." She left it at that and followed Al into the house.

As Winry had predicted, Al did not want to talk to her. The one person he wanted to talk to would never speak to him again. She left him alone.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

That night, Hohenheim Elric disappeared. When Alphonse and the Rockbell's awoke, he was already gone. Later, Al would regret the words he had said to him, but when he first discovered that his father was gone, he was happy, because a part of him truly believed that the man had deserved it. Mostly, though, he just missed his brother, and was angry at the world in general because there was nothing that he could do.

* * *

Rewritten chapters are finally posted, yes! I'm so glad. I've been meaning to do it for ever but I hadn't found the will to write until yesterday. Today I almost didn't but then I got out some Bach and just forced myself to. Please review and let me know what you thought!


	4. Mourning A Brother

**A/N:** I feel bad because this is really short, but I swear it had to end there. Be glad you got the chapter today and not tomorrow. There are some happy things in here, although somehow I managed to put in this whole random Al/Winry thing and now I'm confused. Seriously, the original draft had like two sentences about it, just so you'd know it happened, but I couldn't possibly go with the original draft, now could I? Actually it was crap, so I'm glad I rewrote it, but I really want to go back to talking about Roy and possibly some other people so that we can get to the good part. Here's a pathetic, shortest-I've-done-yet chapter for you, I promise the next one will be something interesting.

**_Oh, and before I forget, you can find information on my progress and such on my livejournal. The link is on my profile._**

**Disclaimer:** If I were queen of the world, I would buy Fullmetal Alchemist from Hiromu Arakawa. As I have yet to take over the world, I am not the owner of these poor characters that I like to torture so much. I'm just playing with them for my own amusement and the amusement of others.

**Warning:** Since I don't want anyone to complain that I put Al/Winry in a Roy/Ed fic (How is it Roy/Ed? Edward is frickin' DEAD) **_THERE IS AL/WINRY IN THIS CHAPTER!! IT IS NOT A LOT AND I DON'T THINK IT'S A BIG DEAL, BUT I THOUGHT I SHOULD MENTION IT!!_**

* * *

_**Chapter 4: Mourning A Brother**_

Ed's funeral was simple. Only Al, Winry, Pinako, and old Den were in attendance. They'd put Ed's automail into a coffin, and buried it in a grave next to Trisha Elric's. The gravestone held only Edward's name and the words "To gain anything, something of equal value must be lost," chosen by Al because equivalent exchange was the last thing Ed had ever done.

"Al, you know how much he loved you, right?" Winry murmured, "He wouldn't have left you unless he absolutely had no other option. He was your brother. He could never abandon you."

Al growled. "But he **did** abandon me. Yeah, he got me my body back, but I'd rather still be that armor, if only to have my big brother back."

Tears poured down Winry's cheeks as she whispered, "He didn't want to go, Al. You have to know that he didn't want to leave you. It was the only way. He wrote a letter to me just before he died, and he told me how sorry he was to have to leave us, but that he had run out of options. He asked me to look after you, and told me that he was going to ask Colonel Mustang to do the same. He tried not to just abandon you, to find other people who would care about you as he had. It wasn't easy for him, either."

Throwing a rose on Ed's grave, Al turned away. "The difference, Winry, is that he only had to live with it for a very short time. I will carry the burden of what my older brother had to do for me for the rest of my life." When he walked away from her that day, Winry was certain that he was walking out of her life forever.

He proved her wrong.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

Al never left the Rockbell house, and two months later he began courting his old childhood friend. It started with a bouquet of daffodils and a note, a silly poem that was signed with the initials AE. It made Winry smile, and she welcomed the attention. Though when she was young she had had a crush on Ed, it had faded years before, and she had started noticing the younger brother a bit more. He was kind and thoughtful. Always quick to help others and rarely thinking of himself. And when she had seen him step off that train, in his real body instead of a suit of armor for the first time in five years, she had nearly fainted. The fact was that though he didn't realize it, Al had become very handsome, and Winry admired it.

So when he began courting her, she gladly accepted his invitations to go walking with him, and when he timidly asked if he could hold her hand she gave it gladly. Months and then years passed, and eventually they had their first kiss, and soon after that Alphonse asked her to marry him. She agreed for obvious reasons.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

Al was twenty years old when he and Winry got married. It had been five years. Five years since Ed's death, and five years since they had once again lost contact with Hohenheim. Al had long since forgiven his father and brother for what he had once held against them, though he still mourned Ed every day, and often went to visit his grave. Although those visits became less frequent when Winry had their first child, when they had been married for about a year. They named the boy Edward, and as he grew it was evident that he was going to be very much like his late uncle. Al already sensed a lot of alchemic ability in his son.

Little Eddie learned quickly, and by the time he was four, he was already doing basic transmutations. His father was incredibly proud of him. Eddie was a happy child, and always giggled when one of his parents would tug gently on his braid. As soon as he could talk he had begun insisting that they let his hair grow. And though Al's heart wrenched every time he looked at Eddie—the very picture of his uncle—he was glad to know that there was another Edward Elric in the world, and that this one's life would be unmarred by a father who abandoned him, a dead mother, and human transmutation that went terribly wrong.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that horrible chapter. I really, truly promise that the next one will be better. I'll sign a contract in blood if you want me to. I'm getting this done, really I am, just give me a little more time. Again if you want info, updates and excuses about my writing you can go check out my livejournal through the link on my profile. With that, thank you for reading and please review, even if you only have bad things to say.


	5. Lost Without Him

**A/N:** I am so, SO sorry that it has been so long since I posted last. I explained some of it on my LJ, so if you want excuses you can go check that out. Basically, I had a really big audition that I couldn't neglect. And then, this isn't on there, because it happened in the last couple of days, but basically, my computer is dying and we don't know what's wrong with it. It was completely out of commission last night, and I was going to post, but obviously it was impossible, without a computer and all. Still, I am posting it now, so I hope you aren't too angry with me. This chapter is slightly longer than past ones, though there's not much in the way of plot, though I did try really hard to portray Roy's feelings without making him too OOC. I'm not sure it happened, let me know how I did. Again, I'm really sorry that it was such a long wait, I'll do better in the future. I already have the next chapter in progress.

**Disclaimer:** I stare longingly at the Edward plushies that I can't have, because I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, and therefore I have no money.

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Lost Without Him**_

Roy Mustang watched the train pull away from Central Station and wondered how he was going to keep his last promise to Ed when the subject of said promise was miles and miles away. Al was gone, and with him what Roy thought might be the last of his hope. With Alphonse in Central, Roy had been able to pretend that Ed hadn't really left...that he was at the library, and he would come home to him that night. But every night Roy came home to an empty house, and it made his heart ache.

Without Ed, Roy was meaningless. At some point, Roy had stopped thinking of them as two separate people. In his mind, they were one entity. Without one half of an organism, the other half shrivels and dies. As he watched his last connection to Ed roll away with that train, Roy felt his heart perish.

Walking away from the platform, Roy Mustang stuck his hand in a pocket that held two state alchemist's watches.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

"Sir? Is everything alright?" Riza Hawkeye asked her commanding officer.

Roy looked up, a sheen of tears in his eyes. "I can't do this without him, Riza. It was his fight."

The First Lieutenant shook her head at him. "Colonel Mustang, sir, he would want you to finish this in his place. It's the only way."

Roy stared at her pleadingly. "There has to be another way. I can't do it without Ed."

She winced at the young alchemist's name. "Roy, there is no other way. Just like with...Al's body, this is how it has to be done. We can take no shortcuts."

Roy shook his head. "I ca--"

"Do not tell me that you can't." She interrupted him impatiently. "You can do this. I know how strong you are. Don't tell me that you lost that strength with your lover."

Roy bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Riza. I just...I miss him. We had so short a time together, and now..."

"Now you have to finish what he started on your own." She concluded for him.

Roy nodded sullenly. Taking a moment to compose himself, he ordered, "First Lieutenant Hawkeye, please have the team assembled in the conference room in ten minutes."

She saluted him. "Yes, Sir!"

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

The meeting went well. It took hours, but together they formulated a plan to take down those who would lead their country to ruin. "We begin at first light." Those words from Roy signaled the end of the meeting...and the beginning of something that could lead to the death of many.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

Roy stood in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection. Water from his shower still dripped from his hair onto his shoulders and rolled down his chest to be absorbed by the towel around his waist. His dark eyes were dulled from years of service to the military, seeing and doing things that no man should have to, but somewhere in there was a tiny spark of hope. What he and his team were going to do could start a war, but he knew that in the end it would make Amestris peaceful once more. Roy remembered his childhood, living with no cares, and his parents just as carefree as he. It had all changed, though. There were people trying to run their country into the ground, and it had to be stopped.

Roy grabbed another towel and started drying his hair as he walked into his bedroom. He glanced briefly at a picture on the wall; his team, including Ed, all posing for the photograph. It had been a holiday, he recalled. There was snow outside the window behind them, and they all seemed to be having a genuinely good time. Havoc and Breda had been drinking, as they always did whenever they could find an excuse to. It seemed that someone—probably Roy—had been teasing Ed about his height again, and he had been about to start a tantrum when the picture was snapped. Riza was rolling her eyes, and Fuery and Falman were chuckling. It was one of Roy's favorite pictures. It was the last one that had ever been taken of Edward.

Roy pulled a fresh uniform from his closet and started dressing, throwing both towels onto his bed. He was running out of clean laundry; if he was still alive the next day he would have to remember to wash some clothes. Among other things. He had been neglecting chores of all sorts for the past couple of weeks. He just hadn't had the heart for it since Ed left. Naturally that would have to change. He had survived before Ed had come into his life and he could survive now that he no longer had him. It was just that he had gotten used to the blonde's presence, and he didn't feel right without the boy at his side.

Roy ran a tired hand through his damp, disheveled hair. He had known from the first that his relationship with Ed was a bad idea. The Fullmetal Alchemist, strong and incredibly talented, but he was still a boy. He was sixteen. As much as he hated to admit it, Roy had been wrong to take Ed as his lover, at least that early. He should have waited until he was older, until it would be more socially acceptable. Of course, a homosexual relationship would never be fully acceptable, but still it would have been better to wait until Ed was officially an adult.

The tired Mustang grabbed a comb, dragging it through his hair quickly before throwing it onto his bed as well. He took one more look around his messy room, again reminding himself to clean if he survived, and then, picking up his hat, shut off the lights and left the room.

He went downstairs and poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot he had started before getting in the shower. Sighing, he leaned against the counter and took a sip. He felt like he was going on a suicide mission. Though there was a large chance that he, his team, and many other people could die, it wasn't like he was going to be killing himself on purpose to fulfill their objectives. It was just a distinct possibility that there could be quite a few more casualties than he would like. Ed would know how to keep the death toll down, but Roy didn't think the same way his little lover had. Roy had been brainwashed by the military; Ed hadn't allowed himself to be. The Colonel wished sometimes that he was as headstrong as Ed was.

Checking his watch, he saw that it was time to go. Setting down his half-empty cup of coffee, Roy headed out the door. 'What would Ed think if he knew that I was doing this without him?' he wondered. He would never know the answer to that.

* * *

I swear all the confusing stuff will get explained in the next chapter, which will be longer and posted within a week. Thank you so much for being patient with me, even though I have so much else going on and I don't have the time to commit to this that I would like. Please review if you think I deserve it, I know I've been pretty awful.


	6. War and Peace

**A/N:** Rejoice, for I have posted far earlier than I anticipated! That's right, peeps, I finished the chapter! I'm really proud of myself. You wanna know the best part? This is at least twice as long as any of my previous chapters. It demanded to be four pages long exactly. I knew as soon as I typed the last word that I wasn't allowed to write any more in this chapter. So this is for ya'll, and I'ma go start writing the next one.

I'd like to thank all those who have reviewed so far, it makes me feel all warm and squishy inside, like a chocolate chip cookie right out of the oven. Sorry, I'm craving sweets. But seriously, you guys are amazing! I especially want to dedicate this chapter to **_Horselvr4evr123 _**for reminding me that I should probably have something about how Roy has been taking Ed's "death" instead of just going "Ten years later" and expecting you all to know what's going on. Sometimes I get excited about writing the next part and forget important stuff in between.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Quite a few of the nurses, the nice Sergeant who doesn't even have a name, and some other nondescript characters are mine. But the main characters--such as Roy, Riza, Edward, and their associates--belong to that one person who actually had the skill and patience to draw them, along with the city of Central, the country Amestris, alchemy, and the original story. I took the plot line and messed it up royally, I hope you enjoy.

* * *

_**Chapter 6: War and Peace**_

The house was burning around him, and Roy was no closer to killing the homunculus than he had been at the start. He only wanted the war to be over; Amestris needed peace. If only there were a better way to fight this guy... "Papa!" Roy turned in shock to see the son of the fuhrer—the son of the man he was currently trying to kill—running up to them in the midst of the burning rubble. Father and son talked calmly for a moment or two (Roy couldn't hear them over the noise of the fire and the collapsing house), and then the fuhrer pulled his sword from behind his back. Roy didn't think, he only acted. Immediately the fuhrer was on his back, Roy perched on his chest, punching him again and again. The poor boy cried for his father.

Roy didn't turn as he picked up the homunculus' fallen sword and yelled over his shoulder "Close your eyes!" Without bothering to see if the boy obeyed, he thrust the sword into the monster's chest. Only then did he turn to the fuhrer's son. "What did you bring with you? Let me see."

The boy shook his head, eyes still firmly closed. "Papa said not to tell anyone."

Roy sighed, kneeling in front of the boy despite his injuries. "Selim," he murmured, finally remembering the child's name, "Your Papa wants me to know. That man wasn't your father, he was a bad man pretending to be him. I need you to tell me what you brought with you."

Hesitating slightly, Selim opened his satchel and pulled out something wrapped in cloth. With his eyes still closed, he offered it out to the Colonel.

Roy took it, unwrapping the skull and looking sadly at the child for a moment. "Good boy, Selim. Keep your eyes closed, I just have to do one more thing, and then we can leave." Standing, he used his alchemic abilities to set the body on fire and threw the skull in the midst of the flames. Then he picked Selim up and left the fuhrer's remains and the fire, exiting the house and beginning to walk away from it, intending to get as far from the fire as he could.

Feeling the cool air on his face, Selim opened his eyes. "Where are we going? Are you going to take me to Papa?" He asked, looking at Roy imploringly.

Roy had to look away as he answered. "I'm going to get you somewhere safe, and then we'll see about finding your father. Alright?"

Selim nodded sleepily, burying his face in Roy's shoulder and falling asleep. Roy didn't blame him, he had been through a lot. All the Colonel wanted to do at the moment was go home and sleep...but suddenly home didn't seem very appealing. He missed Ed. He had fought this fight for his lover, because though Ed hadn't told anyone but Roy and Al, he had started a new battle for the people. Those last few months he had been planning and fighting against the homunculi. Roy still remembered it clearly, how he had found out...

"_Edward, what is this?" Roy asked accusingly, holding up a book that had fallen out of Ed's satchel as he set it on the floor._

"_It's nothing, Roy, just some research that I'm doing because it was interesting." Ed muttered, wringing his hands and looking away._

"_You can't lie to me Ed, you always get all nervous when you try. I want the truth. Why are you researching homunculi?" Roy demanded, scowling at his lover._

"_I...When Al and I tried to bring our mother back, instead we made...a monster. There are a lot of them out there, Roy. I intend to figure out how to destroy them and then track them all down. I will not have those abominations existing among humans, they're too much of a threat." It was obvious that Ed genuinely cared that the homunculi were a threat not only because of those he loved and the fact that he had created one of those monsters, but because he truly did not want the world to have to suffer because some twisted force had created these creatures that seemed human but were deadly in their actions, their very lives. They had to be stopped, both Ed and Roy knew it. "It gets worse, though. It's bad enough just that they're out there, messing with the world at large...but Roy, I have reason to believe that several of them have infiltrated the government. Judging from the chaos that has erupted since my estimated time of their creation, I'd say they're probably in positions of power. It has to be stopped."_

_Roy nodded. It all made perfect sense. Amestris had been going downhill since the new fuhrer... "Ed, could the fuhrer be a homunculus?" He asked suddenly._

_Ed nodded grimly. "Either him or one of his advisors. I'd bet a lot on the fuhrer himself, though. The advisors can only get away with so much before someone starts asking questions."_

"_Good point. So what's your plan?" Roy asked, getting comfortable on the couch, ready for a long discussion about homunculi and alchemy. He was not disappointed._

"_Well," Ed began, clearly a little excited, despite it being such horrible circumstances. He loved to learn new things, and this was the biggest of them all. "First I have to figure out how exactly to kill them..."_

_They talked all night long, and when morning came and they had to go their separate ways for the day, Ed made him promise that he would speak of it to no one. He couldn't risk it getting out. It could very well mean his life, and now Roy's too._

Ed had been right. The Fuhrer _was_ a homunculus. Roy glanced over his shoulder at the burning building. He wondered why he had thought he could win when he first went in there. He glanced at the little boy sleeping in his arms. If Selim hadn't brought that skull...he didn't even want to think about what would have happened. Bradley had been about to stab him, he likely would have died. A kid saved him. A child who should not have been anywhere near the battlegrounds, and yet because he had been, Roy was alive now, and still healthy enough to get the child and himself to the nearest hospital to be treated for burns.

Half of Central was destroyed, and Roy dimly hoped that his subordinates had gotten the city evacuated in time. There was still fighting going on, though it was obvious that his side was winning. It turned out that he had a lot more supporters than he thought, although that might have had something to do with his former subordinate the Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People. There were many who had supported Ed, in their own way, despite him never following orders, being obnoxious, and blowing up any time anything was even vaguely mentioned about his height. But Roy could definitely see the appeal.

When Roy arrived at the hospital it was evident that he would be needed for a bit longer before he could rest. He entrusted Selim to a nurse's care and quickly ducked back out the door. Not two blocks down the street there was a raging battle, and it looked like his men needed a little help. Roy assessed the situation as he ran towards it, hand already lifting to snap. He was lucky that his gloves had survived. Two snaps and the enemy forces were on the ground, either dead or badly wounded. He heard several people crying "Colonel!" as he walked through the disorganized ranks. He ignored them in favor of finding his lieutenant. Riza was supposed to be stationed at the hospital.

He located her quickly, calling out to her as he approached. "First Lieutenant Hawkeye! Have your men gather the wounded from both sides and take them to the hospital to be treated. Make sure they know that whether they are friend or enemy, those with crucial injuries must be cared for first." He waited slightly impatiently as she repeated the orders, though the area had gone quiet at the first snap and everyone had already heard him. Still, she to organize the men and put people in charge, so that everything would run more smoothly. Roy was unfamiliar with most of these troops. Once she finished he spoke again. "Status report. Have you heard from the others?"  
She shook her head in the negative. "Last I spoke to them was right before the attack, and that was nearly three hours ago. They've been sending wave after wave of troops. We've hardly gotten a break."

He nodded. "Very well. I'll contact them myself, but first we have need to speak to the whoever is leading this damn attack."

"With all due respect, Sir, we started it."

He sighed. "I know that, Hawkeye. But now I want to be the one to stop it."

She saluted him. "Very well, Sir, I'll find you a secure line to contact him with, then."

Roy shook his head. "No need for a secure line, I _want_ the whole world to hear what I have to say."

A slightly excited glint entered her eyes, and she smirked. "I'll hook you up to the city's radio system, then, Sir."

Roy frowned. "How long will that take?"

"No more than fifteen minutes, Sir."

Finally, he smirked as well. "Good. Do that now then, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

She saluted again, hurrying off to complete her task. Meanwhile, Roy decided to see how the wounded were faring, and possibly find a hand-held radio to contact his other subordinates with.

There were several Sergeants directing people and helping to transport those who were injured. Roy walked up to one who had stopped briefly to wipe his sweating brow and pointed at the radio on his belt, asking if he could borrow it. The Sergeant gladly gave it over and returned to his work. Roy turned the thing on and forced his exhausted mind to remember what channel it needed to be turned to in order to communicate with the others. He found it quickly and uttered a coded greeting. It was quickly answered by Havoc, Breda, and Fuery. He immediately started the interrogation. "Where is Falman?"

"Hit in the shoulder." Havoc replied. "He's in the infirmary, and he's lost a lot of blood. They're stitching him up right now, he should be fine in a few days."

Roy sighed, he hated to lose people like that. He sent a mental get-well to Falman. "How about the rest of you? Status?"

"We've taken the libraries, the dorms, and some of the lesser offices. Several commanding officers have been taken into our custody." Fuery replied, and as he finished Roy heard a grunt and then a gunshot.

"Good. How are your troops?" He asked, wondering if he had any reinforcements he could send should they need them.

"A dozen wounded, including Falman, and two dead." Breda recited, keeping any emotion he might be feeling out of his voice.

Roy sighed and took a brief moment to send a prayer of thanks to whatever god was out there. He had expected a lot more casualties, considering how much they were outnumbered and that the enemy had the advantage. Things were definitely looking up. "Call in to report at your next respite. Mustang out."

There were a few noises of acknowledgment, and then the line was silent. Roy left the radio on, but clipped it to his belt. He would return it to the Sergeant later, he needed it for the time being.

A soldier that Roy wasn't familiar with ran up to him and saluted. "Colonel Mustang, sir, First Lieutenant Hawkeye says that everything is ready!"

Roy nodded. "Lead the way then, Private."

The soldier led him in the direction of the hospital, and then turned. There was a radio building right next to it. How had he not noticed that before? The private led him inside and straight to Lieutenant Hawkeye. She nodded at a microphone, and Roy got the message. The private was dismissed, and Roy sat down at the table. He smirked, nodding at Hawkeye, and the microphone was turned on. They were broadcasting throughout Central on the city's PA system. "Attention Amestris Government!" Roy bellowed, "This is Colonel Roy Mustang. A rebel force of your own men has taken over. Your Fuhrer was a monster called a homunculus, and he has been terminated. Surrender now, and you will be spared. I do not wish for more death. You have an hour to either put down arms or join our forces."

He nodded again, and the microphone was switched off.

Riza smiled as she approached him. "Well spoken, Sir."

Roy sighed, rubbing his temples tiredly. "Thank you Hawkeye." Straightening, he regained his composure, his moment of weakness already forgotten. "Check on the wounded and get a death count. Set patrols for five blocks in either direction and make sure that each patrol has a radio. Speaking of radios, do we have any more on hand? I had to borrow this one."

She nodded, responding rapidly. "I'll check on it right away. Two men in each patrol alright? We have another few dozen in reserve. What happened to yours?"

Roy stood, walking out of the room with her following. "Good. Two men is fine, though three would be better if you can spare them. Bring the radios out, we'll need them. Mine was conveniently chopped in half with a sword in the middle of battle. It's probably melted by now."

"Very well then, Sir." She said, saluting him and heading off to fulfill her orders.

Roy smiled at her retreating back, glad to have someone like her working for him in this time of war. He debated what to do for a moment, then settled on going to the hospital to check on Selim. The little boy had saved his life after all. The least he could do was make sure he was well treated and comfortable.

The entire hospital was in disarray when Roy arrived, but that was hardly surprising. He wandered the place, looking for Selim and staying out of the way. He heard a nurse cry out for help, and without thinking he ran to her. She had a man with severe burns, and his heart was starting to give out. Roy yanked his gloves off and pulled a pair of rubber surgical gloves on in their place. He helped the nurse to stabilize the man and started treating and bandaging his wounds. It was only then, when she had time to calm down, that the nurse realized who had come to her rescue. "C-colonel Mustang!" She stuttered. "You didn't need to..."

Roy shook his head, stopping her. "I caused these injuries, the least I can do is help them heal again. Besides, it's improper not to help a damsel in distress." He flashed her a trademark Roy Mustang lady-killer grin.

She blushed, and said nothing more. Together they finished patching the man up quickly. When they were done, Roy discarded the surgical gloves and continued his search for Selim. He found the boy sitting in a chair in what would normally be the waiting room, and was now a place flooded with wounded soldiers. "Hey." He murmured quietly, walking up to the little boy. "Are you alright?"

Selim looked up at him and nodded. "It's so busy. What's wrong with those men?"

"They got hurt, just like you did. How are your burns?" He asked, kneeling next to the child.

He held out one tiny arm for Roy's inspection. It was bandaged well, and Roy nodded his approval. "Did they give you anything for the pain?" he asked. Selim shook his head. Roy nodded. "I'll get you something, then. Give me a minute." He went to a nearby medication cupboard. He knew that the child only had second degree burns at the worst, and so he looked for some sort of children's pain reliever. He found it quickly, a clear little bottle full of a pink liquid. He brought it back to Selim and poured the suggested dose into the attached cup, handing it to the child. Small fingers gripped it and lifted it to an equally small mouth, tipping it in. Selim then handed the cup back to Roy, who took it away again, finding a sink to rinse it in and returning it to the cupboard.

Then he went and lifted Selim from his seat. "We're going to find somewhere that you can lay down for a bit, alright?" He said as the boy buried his face in the shoulder of his blue military jacket. Selim nodded, sighing and wrapping his arms around Roy's neck. The Colonel took the child up several floors to the pediatric ward, where one nurse who wasn't equipped to help with the wounded soldiers was caring for the children who couldn't be moved from the hospital. Roy went up to her and gestured to Selim, who had fallen asleep on his shoulder. "I need a bed for him, do you have any to spare?"

She nodded and waved for him to follow her into a room a little ways down the hall. She pointed at an empty bed, and Roy laid the child down, covering him with the cheap hospital blankets and brushing some stray hair from his face. "You know him?" The nurse asked, watching him.

Roy nodded absently, still gazing at the child. "He saved my life." He murmured, still sorry for what the child had been through. Sighing, he turned from the bed.

The nurse suddenly gasped, and like the previous nurse he had dealt with, stuttered, "C-colonel Mustang!" Obviously she didn't know his face, and he realized that she hadn't been able to see what rank he was because Selim had been laying on that side.

He grinned at her and said, "Take good care of him, will you? I have a war to win." With that, he was gone.

* * *

The worst part about this chapter being so long is that there were no scene breaks. It seems to me that that just makes it seem longer, but maybe that's just me. I assume you probably figured out that the part in italics was a flashback. I hate flashbacks personally, but at the same time...they're so fun! They're a pain in the butt to write, but they help me to make the story more understandable (I hope), and they give a little background that otherwise would be absent. I had to explain what Roy was talking about when he said that it was Ed's fight so...there wasn't really another good way to do it. I know that my writing style is kind of confusing, and that I probably forgot to explain something, but...feel free to leave me a review and ask questions. I even have anonymous reviews enabled, in case you either don't have an account or don't feel like logging in. Please review, thanks!


	7. Tears and Healing

**A/N:** I meant to post this over the weekend, but it didn't get done. I was out of town yesterday, and this chapter insisted on being ridiculously long. It's just over three pages, or 2,294 words. I blame it on Roy wanting more attention, because he's conceited. Eventually all this stuff will make perfect sense, just give me time. The next chapter will be posted this weekend **at the latest**. I'm hoping to get it done before that but I can't guarantee it.

Also, I'm considering getting a beta, so if you're interested let me know. I often write when I'm terribly sleep deprived and living on caffeine, so sometimes things that make sense to me don't make sense to anyone else.

Well then, on with the story!

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I am not the owner of Roy, Riza, Selim, or Edward, nor do any of the other original Fullmetal Alchemist characters belong to me. However, this plot-line and the old Colonel guy mentioned briefly in Roy's flashback are property of me. No stealy!

* * *

_**Chapter 7: Tears and Healing**_

Throughout the hour Roy had given for their enemy to surrender, the patrols brought in hundreds of soldiers who were either giving up and accepting their fate, or offering to pledge their loyalty to the Colonel. He was surprised to note that the majority of them were switching sides. Though, he supposed, hearing that your fuhrer had been a monster would scare anyone. Still, it seemed as though most of them were truly loyal to him, and many had actually addressed him as their new fuhrer.

Meanwhile Roy was trying to help patch up the wounded, though that just seemed to make them admire him more. He wasn't afraid to get in there and help with the dirty work, instead of sitting at a desk and giving orders like many commanding officers. He worked alongside civilians and enlisted men, the ones that most of the higher-ups considered the lowest of the low. Roy found them strong and intelligent, and funny. Just because they didn't have the ambition to become more than regular soldiers or the calling to join the army didn't mean that they weren't human like everyone else.

That was how, when Riza Hawkeye came looking for him when the hour was almost up, that she found him joking and laughing with a few nurses and soldiers as they worked. "Sir, it has been fifty-five minutes."

Roy turned to her, still smiling, and nodded. Looking again at his new-found friends, he sighed. "Duty calls." He told them, pulling off what must have been his hundredth pair of surgical gloves that day and dropping them in a nearby trash can. He smiled as Hawkeye saluted him. "Shall we?" He asked, gesturing grandly towards the door.

She smiled as well, but said nothing, walking side-by-side with him out of the building.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

"Your time is up, former government! We were patient with you, but now you have given us no choice but to take down those of you who are left. A pity, really. Had you joined me, I would have given you your old positions, or possibly higher positions than before. Oh well, too late now, I suppose." The microphone was switched off, and Roy picked up his radio, giving the order for his men to attack. Things were running smoothly so far. He just hoped that the people he cared for would make it through the rest of the war.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

Fifteen and a half hours later, they had finally accounted for everyone, and reconstruction could begin. Roy was giving orders when a Sergeant ran up to him. "Sir, the ex-fuhrer's wife, she's committed suicide." Roy's eyes widened in shock as he realized what that would mean for Selim. He finished issuing orders and then demanded that he be left alone for a time.

Roy sat down heavily in his new desk chair. His subordinates had insisted that he take the fuhrer's office, as he needed to show his followers his strength and authority. He had not been able to argue with them. "Orphaned." He murmured, tears welling in his eyes. "Just like Ed. No one to go to, not a thing to your name..." He didn't know what to do. It was his fault a child had been orphaned. How many more children were without parents because of this reckless war he had started? How many more had lost loved ones? "How many died this day?" He moaned, blaming himself for all the death and destruction. He remembered several times when with a simple snap of his fingers, dozens died. He was thrown into memories...

_The Rockbells. They were doctors, and hadn't done anything that would warrant execution. They had treated the wounded from both sides. They had cared about the Ishballans as well as their own men, because they knew that no matter what they looked like, no matter what they or their government had allegedly done, they were still people...still human. They shouldn't have died._

_Countless women and children. The elderly, the sick. All had been brutally murdered at the snap of one man's fingers, because the military had ordered it so. They were completely innocent. They had done nothing that would deserve such a fate. Infants crying, feeling their mothers' fear. There was no reason for them to die._

_One young man in a blue military uniform, staring at the desecration of the battlefield, and wondering what all these people had done to be given such a death. Tears poured down the young Major's cheeks as he realized that he had been the one to take so many innocent lives._

_For the first time in his life, he questioned the military._

Roy Mustang was aroused from his disturbing reverie by a sharp knock on his door. Riza Hawkeye poked her head inside. "Sir, I don't mean to bother you but...it's Selim Bradley, Roy. He's asking for you."

Roy looked up sharply as the name left her lips. "Does he know about..."

Riza understood immediately, and nodded. "Yes Sir, and he's not taking it very well. He wants to see you."

Roy nodded, standing up and running an exhausted hand through his hair. When was the last time he slept? He couldn't even remember, it must have been a while. He should probably get some rest soon, but he had a more pressing issue at hand at the moment.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

"Selim?" Roy asked, knocking gently before opening the door of the hospital room the boy was staying in.

Selim was lying on his bed, his cheeks wet with tears. "Colonel Mustang?" He asked timidly, as if afraid he was wrong. To be told that both your parents are dead in the same day must be devastating. Roy hoped the child would recover from the psychological trauma such events were sure to cause.

"Yes Selim, it's me." The man answered, slipping inside and closing the door behind him. "Lieutenant Hawkeye said you were very insistent upon seeing me. What's wrong?" He knew he didn't have to ask that question. He knew exactly what was wrong, had known since he'd found out about Mrs. Bradley's suicide. Roy knew what it was like to lose both your parents, and he thought maybe he could sympathize with a poor, scared seven-year-old.

Selim whimpered, trying his best not to cry in the face of such a strong, powerful war-hero. Seeing his distress, Roy took off his military jacket, hanging it on the back of a chair as he went to sit on the bed next to the child. "Selim, there is no need to hide your tears. What has happened today has effected all of us, but you perhaps the most. Crying is not a sign of weakness; it takes a truly strong man to show his tears."

Even in the face of someone like Roy, whom he had known for such a short time, at those comforting words Selim could no longer hold the tears at bay. Unashamed, he buried his face in Roy's shoulder and wept. Roy cried right alongside him. They had both lost so much, and sometimes you need to let the feelings out, lest they consume you.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

"_Roy?" Maes Hughes asked, knocking gently on the door of his best friend's dorm. It had been two days since they returned from Ishbal. Roy had been locked in his room the entire time. "Roy, I know that you're upset, and I wouldn't be bothering you, except the Colonel wants to see you."_

_A tired sigh was heard from within, and then the door opened to reveal Roy Mustang in such a horrible state that Maes couldn't quite believe that it was his friend standing in front of him. Roy's eyes were red and swollen from crying, and his hair was sticking up in odd directions, as if he had been running his hands through it a lot (Something he did when he was upset or frustrated). His uniform was bedraggled, obviously the same one he had been wearing when he returned from the war. At the same time, there was a set of determination in his features that hadn't been there before, as if he had made some sort of life-changing decision. "Maes, can I talk to you after I see the Colonel? There's something I need to tell you."_

_Maes nodded, shooing his friend off toward his duties._

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

"_Ah, Major Mustang. Just the person I needed to speak with." The old Colonel said._

_Roy gazed at him dispassionately. He didn't particularly like the old man, just dealt with him for the sake of keeping the peace within their work environment. Roy did not deem the man's comment worthy of an answer, and so he remained silent. The Colonel did not seem to mind._

"_Major Mustang, I'm sorry to say I have some bad news." Roy nearly growled. What news could be worse than the fact that he had just murdered countless innocents? "It is about your parents, Major. Perhaps you should sit down."_

_At the mention of his parents, Roy had swayed unsteadily on his feet. "I'm fine, Sir." He assured, remaining upright. "Please continue." Not that Roy necessarily wanted to know what horrible thing had happened that involved his parents._

"_As you wish, Major. It seems that last night someone broke into your parents house. Most of the valuables were taken, and your parents...they were killed. I'm sorry, Son."_

_Roy decided that now was a really good time to sit down. He sank into one of the chairs in front of the Colonel's desk, trying to remember how to breathe. He didn't know what to do._

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

He never knew what to do, it seemed like. Holding that seven-year-old orphan, the one that **he** had orphaned, he didn't know what to do either. This child needed parents, and Roy had taken them away with his stupid war. Suddenly he didn't think that taking over had been such a good idea, but it was done now. Hundreds—maybe thousands—had died, and he couldn't take it back now. He couldn't just say 'I've changed my mind' and have everything go back to normal. In a few short hours they were going to officially make him Fuhrer. After that, everything would change.

Roy thought of something else he could change. "Selim, I know that you're still upset about your parents, but you're going to need someone to take care of you. Do you have an aunt or grandparents or someone who could take you in?"

The little boy seemed to think for a moment, and then he shook his head. "Momma and Papa were all I had." He whimpered. "Can't you take care of me, Colonel Mustang?"

Roy froze in shock. Selim wanted the man who had orphaned him to become his caregiver? But at the same time...in the short time he had known Selim, he had become attached to the boy. He wouldn't mind adopting him, giving him a life worth living again. It was the least he could do. "Yeah Selim, I could take care of you...if that's what you want?" He almost didn't dare believe that this sweet child wanted him to become his new father-figure.

Selim nodded, a tiny smile overtaking his features. "I love you...Daddy."

Right then Roy's heart melted. If he'd had any convictions or insecurities about adopting this child, they were gone at those four short words. To hear Selim call him 'Daddy' was nothing short of astounding. They'd known each other less than a day and already such bonds had formed...it was simply amazing. Smiling, he responded, "I love you too, Selim."

They sat together for long moments, drinking in the other's presence, taking comfort in their bond. Whatever legalities would have to be taken care of in the morning, they were already father and son.

A tiny bit of the hole in Roy's heart began to heal. Though he would never fully recover from the heartbreak he had suffered throughout his lifetime, this child had come to him, and in less than twenty-four hours had bandaged the most painful tear in his soul. Too much had happened, and Roy would never be completely whole again; he had come to accept that. But this little boy could very well be a painkiller for his broken heart, and perhaps a new beginning.

He still mourned Ed. He probably always would, but now he had something to distract him from the constant pain and horror of knowing that no matter what he did, the man he loved was never coming back. Roy would come to accept that as well, in time. Someday, perhaps, he would find someone, not to replace Edward, but to fill another hole in his heart.

Living in 'someday' is meaningless. Today, right now, is what one should worry about. We are given so few hours, so few moments in time to remember those we have lost, and to live our own lives, that we, in turn, may be remembered.

That day, Roy Mustang was starting a new life, one where he had a child, where he was ruler of a country. But at the same time, he was continuing where he had left off, and he would forever remember his past, and the pain it had taken to get where he was. He would never forget those he had lost—his parents, Maes Hughes, _Edward—_but he also had to keep following the paths of life, making new bonds, and strengthening old ones. They would want him to keep trying, and now he truly had something to live for again. It was good to be alive.

* * *

I just want to point out that this _**IS NOT**_ the end. There will be more, in case you didn't read the whole "The next chapter will be posted this weekend at the latest" thing. I had to mention that because I think it seems a lot like an ending, and if I wanted to just leave things like that I could, but I'm addicted to this story, so...I'm not done yet. Next chapter is coming soon, check my LJ if it's not up by Saturday night and feel free to whine at me.

With that, please review, it means a lot to me! **_Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who has reviewed!_**


	8. Remembrance

**A/N:** I did it, I kept my promise to get it up this weekend! This chapter is a little shorter than the last at 2,437 words. But hey, it's still pretty long, and it has some good plot development (I think) so it's okay, right? RIGHT?! Seriously though, wrapping up some loose ends in this one. The next chapter will hopefully be the last Roy-centric one for a while (Sorry to anyone who likes Roy, I do too but...I want some other stuff to happen and he won't let me) and then we can get into the really good stuff. This story is looking to be a lot longer than I originally thought. I had assumed that I would be lucky to get it to ten chapters but...we're almost there and I'm not anywhere near done yet. Oh well. I'm still sick, I need some sleep.

**_I'm seriously looking for a beta, now! If you're interested, let me know. I really want to work with someone who's as excited about the story as I am, because that makes you WANT to work on it!_**

**Disclaimer:** Sadly Fullmetal Alchemist isn't mine, so none of the characters are mine except for the waitress in Roy's first flashback.

* * *

_This chapter is dedicated to _Pure Shikon_ for being amazing and writing back and forth with me the last couple of days as I've been sick and struggled to finish this chapter._

**_Chapter 8: Remembrance_**

Roy's coronation was a rather hurried affair. Normally they would spend months planning the most elaborate ceremony money could buy. In Roy's case, he just wanted to officially be fuhrer as soon as possible.

As he recited his vows to be a good and just ruler, Roy's mind wasn't on the ceremony. Rather, it was on some of the events that had led to this day...

"_You wanted to talk to me, Roy?" Maes Hughes asked, walking up to his friend as he returned to the dorms._

_Roy looked at him with deep, piercing pain in his eyes. "Yeah. We should find Riza as well."_

_Maes took one look at Roy and hurriedly said, "Oh hell. What's happened now, Roy? We don't have to do this right away if you're not feeling up to it."_

_Roy shook his head. "Now is best. Let's find Riza and then have a little chat."_

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

_Riza Hawkeye seemed to instinctively know when her boys needed to see her. When they arrived at her dorm, she was just locking the door. Giving Roy a comforting smile, she murmured, "The diner, then?" Referring to the diner they frequented; it was Roy's favorite, and a good place to go when you wanted privacy._

_Roy nodded at her, obviously lost in his thoughts. But because they knew Roy, they knew not to bother him about it until he was ready to talk. He was getting his thoughts together and planning his speech, coming up with all possible questions and good answers for them. It was a delicate process, one that was not to be interrupted._

_They arrived at the diner and found a table. A waitress gave them menus and said that she would return to take their orders in a few minutes. Roy didn't even bother glancing at the menu; he always got the same thing, despite Maes' encouragement to 'be more adventurous.' _

_The waitress returned, and Riza and Maes ordered, at which time she turned to Roy. "The usual, Major Mustang?" He nodded without looking up, and she scurried off._

_Finally, Roy looked at his friends. "First of all, you should know why the Colonel wanted to see me."_

_They looked surprised. "Roy," Riza began, "You don't have to..."_

_Roy shook his head, cutting her off. "You need to know because you are my friends and you deserve to have a reason why after this conversation I will be leaving for a week."_

_Their eyes widened. "Roy, what happened with the Colonel?" Maes asked tentatively._

"_He called me into his office because..." He swallowed and took a deep breath. "...my parents were murdered."_

_Both gasped, and Riza, who was sitting next to him, gave him a reassuring hug. "I'm so sorry, Roy. If there's anything we can do..."_

"_Yeah. Thanks Riza, but I don't think there's anything anyone can do for me right now."_

_She nodded and kept one arm around him until the food came anyway._

_When they had been served and the waitress was gone, Roy started the real conversation. "I intend to become fuhrer. Obviously there is something seriously wrong with this government. I can't...all those people who died...I just followed blindly."_

"_Roy..."Maes murmured, "We _all_ followed blindly. We can't find fault in the government because we were trained not to question."_

_Riza nodded. "He's right. You're different, Roy, in a good way. I'm proud of you. And we'll be behind you all the way on this, alright?"_

_He nodded. "Thank you Riza, it means a lot to me."_

Roy was ripped from his reverie by the announcement, "I present to you, Fuhrer Roy Mustang!"

The crowd erupted into cheers. Everyone seemed truly happy that he was their new leader. For Roy, nothing would be the same again.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

"Sir, the papers you requested." Riza Hawkeye murmured, setting a neat pile of documents on her boss' desk. She had been given the choice between being one of his generals and being his secretary. Inevitably, she had decided that he needed someone like her to make sure his paperwork got done. Though in some cases—like the papers currently sitting on his desk—he requested the documents before she knew he needed them.

"Thank you Hawkeye." He answered, not looking up from the report he was reading. It was from Fuery, who was leading the reconstruction of the south half of Central. Falman was in charge of the north half.

Finishing the report, and setting it aside, Roy picked up the papers Riza had brought. Finally he looked up. She was still standing in front of his desk. "Was there something else you needed, Hawkeye?"

She hesitated. "Sir, are you sure that you want to do this? I understand that you feel responsible for the boy, but becoming the sole caregiver for a seven-year-old..."

Roy smiled gently at her. "I have never been less sure of myself in my life."

Her eyes widened, and she asked, "Sir?"

"Hawkeye, you have to understand. I am skeptical that I am going to be a good father to Selim, but...he needs me, and I need him. We've both been through a lot, but together I think we have a chance of making it. So as insecure as I might feel right now, I know that this is the right choice." He said all this in a quiet voice, emphasizing how much Selim meant to him.

Hawkeye seemed to comprehend his meaning, and nodded wordlessly, exiting his office.

Roy sighed, looking down at the papers in his hands. It had been two weeks since the war. They had uprooted the entire government and planted a new one in its place. Naturally it had taken some time to get things straightened out. Like adoption authorizations, for instance.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

_Selim refused to leave Roy's side for the rest of the day, as if afraid that he would leave him. He followed Roy around, watching and listening intently as his 'Daddy' gave orders and heard reports. He sat quietly in Roy's office as the man worked, always attentive, always quick to give his father a hug or a kind word if he looked particularly stressed._

_The first night they went home late, and Selim was already asleep in Roy's arms by the time they got into the house. He carried the little boy upstairs to the spare bedroom and tucked him into the soft sheets. He turned to leave, and just as he was reaching to flip off the light, a little voice murmured, "Daddy?"_

_Roy smiled, whispering, "You're alright, Selim, you're home now. Go back to sleep."_

_Selim mumbled something, turned over, and seemed to fall back to sleep. Roy turned off the light and left the door open. His own bedroom was just across the hall, but he wanted to be sure that he'd hear if Selim needed anything._

_Roy had no idea at the time, but in telling Selim that he was home, he had truly accepted him as his son._

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

"Sir?" Hawkeye was watching him with a worried expression.

He smiled at her. "It's alright, Hawkeye, just reminiscing."

She nodded, but she didn't look completely convinced. "Of course, Sir. I'll leave you now." She exited the office, closing the door behind her.

Roy watched her go, sighing. He knew that Riza cared about him—she was like the sister he never had—but she had never fully understood him. She had always just followed him without fully comprehending their purpose. For such a smart woman, she was so very stupid at times.

Shaking his head, Roy turned again to the papers in his hands. These documents were the only things keeping Selim from legally being his son. Although being the fuhrer meant he could continue to be the child's guardian as long as he wanted without this, he wanted the public to see that even their leader could go through the same steps that they had to, and he also just felt better about it this way. For instance, if something should happen and he should lose his position, he could still keep Selim. It was a back-up plan, because if you're in the military (even in so high a position as fuhrer) you always have insurance. Every morning there's the possibility that you will not come back home. Roy didn't want to leave Selim with nothing...again.

Which reminded him...he needed to change his will. Come to think of it, he had never changed it after Ed...disappeared, so it still stated that a man declared legally dead was to receive Roy's house and many of his other belongings. It had been a risky move to include the teen in his will that way, but Roy had spoken to Ed about it, and it had been decided that should anyone ask questions, they would say that Ed was like a little brother to Roy (It had seemed the most believable story), and as he had no other close relatives, most of the inheritance rested on the blond. Now though...

Selim should be left everything, Roy decided. He would also need to pick a suitable guardian for the child, should he die. Nothing was left to chance. Selim would be taken care of.

Roy signed the papers, putting them in his briefcase and glancing at the clock. He had a few minutes before he was officially 'off work,' something that Riza was adamant about. She insisted that he maintain regular office hours, and so he was there from eight in the morning to six at night with forty-five minutes for lunch. Selim had protested to this schedule at first, not wanting Roy to leave him for so long (A mental issue with abandonment that the doctors had assured them was normal for a young child after losing both his parents.) and so Roy had come up with a compromise. Selim now had a room of his own near Roy's office where he could play—with an adult to watch him—and where he would eventually be tutored privately as he had been as the son of the previous fuhrer. Roy had lunch with the boy, and if Selim got especially bored, or if Roy wasn't especially busy, then the seven-year-old was allowed to sit with Roy in his office. When Roy had a short break from paperwork and such, he and Selim would sit together in Roy's most comfortable office chair and read a book together.

Selim was astonishingly good at reading for his age, and Roy soon discovered that that wasn't the only thing that the child was good at. He had an exceptionally high IQ, when he got older it could very well rival what Edward's had been. Roy had noticed right away though that Selim had no ability with alchemy, and for that he was thankful. Ed had been forced into adulthood far before his time because of his abilities, and Roy did not want to see Selim suffer a similar fate. Even as his son, and with the changed government, Roy wasn't sure how another genius child would be accepted. For some people, 'genius child with amazing alchemic abilities' was worse than plain old 'genius child.' He was mostly worried that if Selim had the abilities that Ed had had, there would be people who would want him to become a state alchemist and continue the research and responsibilities that Ed had left behind. Roy didn't want to see another boy's childhood crushed out of him without reason.

He really needed to work on keeping himself on task. No wonder Riza thought he needed her to keep him in line. He pressed the intercom button, asking, "Hawkeye, has Falman returned yet?"

She responded quickly. "He's just come back, Sir. Shall I send him in?"

He smiled to himself. This was perfect. "Yes Riza, and I'd like to see you as well."

"Very well then, Roy." Her reply was curt though she used his first name. She was still unsure about being on a first-name basis with him in the office. She preferred to keep things professional. Their agreement had been that if Roy used her first name, then she would use his in return.

Riza Hawkeye and Vato Falman entered the Fuhrer's office and found him sitting atop his desk. Riza sighed. He wanted to discuss a personal matter, then. She had suspected as much. "You wanted to see us?" She asked politely.

He smiled widely at them. "Please, sit down." When they were seated, he continued, "I'm turning in the adoption papers today, and it's time I changed my will to include Selim. Naturally, I must have someone listed as his guardian, should anything happen to me." He paused, looking at them meaningfully. "Riza, Vato, will you be Selim's godparents?"

Riza looked surprised and a little unsure. Falman just looked surprised. Naturally, he was the first to speak. "If you're sure about this, I'd be glad to."

Roy nodded his thanks and turned to Riza.

She thought for a moment, looking at the expression on Roy's face, and finally said, "Alright, I'll do it."

Roy's large smile grew even larger, and he stood to hug both of them. "Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me."

Falman chuckled. "I think we've got a little bit of an idea."

Roy's only response was to hug him again.

**xXxFullMetalAlchemistxXx**

Later found Roy and Selim submitting the adoption papers. It took less time than it normally would, as many of the people in line insisted that Roy go ahead of them and wouldn't take no for an answer. The papers were submitted and authorized, and Roy was given a small folder of information on Selim, things like copies of his birth certificate and his hospital records. Normally these things would have to be gathered and mailed to the adoptive parent later, but because it was Roy, and because everyone knew about him adopting the previous fuhrer's son, they had it all ready when he arrived.

On the way home they stopped at Roy's favorite bakery and got fresh bread and a dozen cookies to celebrate. Selim was ecstatic when he got to pick out sweets. Roy tried to feed the boy only healthy food, but since it was a special occasion he figured it wouldn't hurt to let him have a treat.

Selim skipped the rest of the way home.

* * *

Well, I hope you liked it. I think I'll try and get one update out every weekend, though there's a small possibility that I'll get inspired and add another in between. So from now on if I don't have a chapter out by Saturday night, check my LJ for excuses and then feel free to whine at me. It makes me write faster, really it does. Also, don't forget, I'm looking for a beta, so if you're interested, let me know. That's it for now, I'll let you go review. It's even easier than before, just press the button below this text. It's got big green letters, it's hard to miss.


	9. Omake: Battleship

**A/N:** I feel bad for this, but...this is not the next chapter. I've been sick (Still) and I just couldn't bring myself to finish the actual chapter. Plus I have a major concert this weekend (Remember that big audition a while back? It's show time!) so I won't be home like...at all the next two days. So this is my huge apology for not giving you an actual chapter this week. I'm trying, I swear, but real life has to come first. Thanks for being patient with me!

**Disclaimer:** I don't feel clever right now. FullMetal Alchemist doesn't belong to me, I'm just playing with the characters. It's like borrowing your friends' Barbies.

* * *

_**Omake: Battleship**_

"Nii-san, where have you been? You didn't come back last night." Al asked. Despite being a suit of armor, he still had emotions, and he was worried about his brother.

"Nowhere. It doesn't matter, Al. I'm fine." Ed responded, avoiding his seven-foot-tall younger brother and going to take a shower.

"You're limping." Al murmured.

Edward stiffly corrected his gait until he was walking as normally as possible. "The automail is acting up." He mumbled dejectedly.

Al did not believe him, but neither did he press the issue.

**xXx**

That night when Ed left Al followed him. Just as he had suspected, his brother led him straight to Colonel Mustang's house. Ed went inside without knocking, showing just how familiar he was with his superior officer.

Al was appalled when he heard yelling coming from inside almost as soon as the door had shut. What were they doing in there? He crept impossibly closer, listening hard, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He looked in a nearby window, almost afraid of what he would see, and did a face-plant at the sight.

"F4"

"Damn it, Bastard, you sunk my battleship."

They were...playing battleship. That was not what Al had expected. But that didn't explain why Ed had been limping....

"A9"

"DAMN IT!" There was a crash, and then Ed swore some more. Al chanced another look in. Ed had thrown the table and it had landed on his leg. That would explain the limp. Al couldn't believe that he'd been worried for nothing. He'd seen enough, so he crept away, intending to get back to the dorm before Ed did.

**xXx**

"Thanks for playing along tonight, Roy. I had to get Al off my tail." Ed smirked.

Roy's expression mirrored his. "No problem. Hate for us to get caught, after all." He leaned in for a kiss that Ed gladly accepted.

* * *

That is the most abrupt ending I ever...you're still here. Why are you still here? You should be reviewing! Go review, do it now!


	10. New Discoveries

**A/N:** So, I'm really sorry, but this chapter is shorter than the last few, at 1,111 words (Cool how I managed to get that number, huh?). In my defense, if I had made it any longer it would drag on and I wouldn't get it posted until next week. Plus, I just love cliff-hangers, don't you? To make up for the stupid ending and the shortness, I'm posting a day early. Except that actually I'm going to be out of town for the weekend and that's the real reason I'm posting today. I'm going to be staying in the Embassy Suites with five of my bestest friends. It's going to be awesome.

**Disclaimer:** I think by now everyone knows that I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. I mean, if I was the creator of such a popular manga, why would I bother writing fanfiction. And why would I be so upset that I spent 7.50 on food when it wasn't even good?!

* * *

_**Chapter 9: New Discoveries**_

They had a little party, just the two of them, and Selim absolutely loved the cookies he had picked out, which Roy was glad for. At eight o'clock, like always, Roy put his son—he still couldn't believe it was official—to bed. Then he went to his study to work for a while.

Sitting down at his desk—in a chair he personally thought was more comfortable than the one in his other office—Roy opened his briefcase. On the top of the pile of reports and paperwork that he hadn't had time to finish looking over before leaving, was the file on Selim. It held everything the government knew about his little boy. Suddenly Roy had to read it. Opening the file, the first thing he found was his copy of the adoption agreement, and he quickly passed over it. Underneath though...was an adoption form that dated back about seven years; Selim had been two months old. It seemed that Bradley wasn't really Selim's father after all, and Mrs. Bradley hadn't been his mother. They had adopted him, secretly enough that it didn't cause a stir with the public.

Roy could hardly believe what he was seeing, and he moved on to the next page: Selim's birth certificate. His mother's name was one that Roy vaguely recognized but couldn't put a face to: Anna Walker. The name of his father, however, Roy knew at once. After all, it was rather important.

Scrawled on that line in a nurse's messy handwriting was the name "Roy Mustang."

He had just adopted his own son.

**xXx**

Roy spent nearly an hour trying to take it all in, reading and rereading all the hospital reports, health files, social workers' reports, and more all tucked inside that tiny file. He remembered Anna now; she was a sweet girl with an ever-smiling, heart-shaped face framed in golden-brown curls. He recalled that he had been drawn by her eyes—sparkling blue, the color of the sky on a perfect, cloudless day.

She had asked the doctors not to tell him that he had a son. She had put Selim up for adoption without thinking for a second that he might want to keep him, or at least know that he existed. Although, with his reputation he couldn't exactly say he was surprised.

A little voice in his head was murmuring that maybe she could have been different; maybe if she had told him about Selim he would have married her and settled down, and then all the messed up stuff that had happened to him since meeting Edward wouldn't have happened. But could he really believe that? Could he believe that even if he had been married, when Ed had gotten older he wouldn't have taken him as his lover anyway? After seven years of marriage to a nice girl, would he have changed at all?

Roy knew the answer. He knew that no matter what, the only person who was really capable of changing him was Edward. It was true, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, but at this point he could barely stand the thought of falling in love with someone else. Whether his first love was supposedly dead or not, Roy would never love another.

So he leaned back in his chair, closing his tired eyes and squashing the urge to hunt Anna down and rat her out for not telling him that he had a son. All this time...he had been worried that if he lost his position as fuhrer they would take Selim away from him, but they couldn't very well separate a child from his biological father with no cause. This explained their instant bond, the similarities in their looks and mannerisms, everything that had seemed strange when he was first faced with this was all clicking into place. Suddenly Roy wasn't afraid anymore.

**xXx**

The next day Roy went in to work with an extra spring in his step. Hawkeye noticed at once, but she waited patiently while he got Selim settled in his playroom with his bodyguard-turned-babysitter, said his normal morning greetings, and sat himself down at his desk.

Finally, she walked into the office, placing some paperwork on the desk and asking, "What's gotten you into such a good mood today, Sir?"

He looked up at her and positively beamed. "I've just adopted my son."

She nodded. "Yes Sir, I knew that. I didn't realize it would make you quite so happy."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You don't understand, Hawkeye. I'm Selim's biological father. I've just adopted my own son."

Her jaw nearly dropped before it remembered that a high-ranking officer cannot make rude faces. "Sir, I thought he was Bradley's son."

"He was, but by adoption. Do you remember Anna Walker?" He asked suddenly.

"Anna...she was a sweet girl, as I recall. We met her a rather long time ago." She murmured.

Roy awarded her with a smile. "I had a one-night stand with her. Apparently it resulted in a child—Selim—and she put him up for adoption without bothering to tell me. Selim is my son."

Riza allowed herself a smile as well. "I'm glad for you, Sir. If you don't mind me asking...will you be trying to find her?"

He frowned and shook his head. "It was a very long time ago, Hawkeye. Even if I found her, what would I say?"

She sighed. "I don't know, Sir. Perhaps you could start with 'hello.'"

"It's not as if I intend to marry her, Hawkeye. In all likelihood she's already married anyway. I don't want to bother her just to say that I've found out I have a son."

"She might like to see you in any case, Sir. I think you should find her, it would be good for both of you." With that Riza left the office, closing the door behind her.

Roy sighed, burying his face in his hands. "If only it were that easy..."

**xXx**

A knock at the door. Anna Walker sighed, getting up from her desk as children's voices called "I'll get it!" She walked out, and by the time she got to the door, her youngest was pulling it open. "Stephen," She scolded the three-year-old, "I've told you to wait until I get...here." The words died on her lips as the door swung open to reveal none other than the Fuhrer himself.

He smiled the disarming, absolutely heart-melting smile that had gotten her the first time. "I'm sorry to be coming by so late. It's been a long time, hasn't it, Anna?"

* * *

Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. Have a good week everyone, I'll see you on Saturday!


	11. Reunions, Confessions, and Promises

**A/N: **This chapter is big again, which explains why I just barely made deadline. It's a total of 3,180 words, though there's a lot of talking and a little bit of filler. Still, plot progression going on here, and eventually we'll get back to the stuff I actually want to write. Not that I'm not enjoying this stuff, but I really want to get on to the next arc. For now here is chapter ten.

**Disclaimer:** I wanted to own it so bad that I made up some characters of my own. Enter Anna's family!

* * *

_**Chapter 10: Reunions, Confessions, and Promises**_

_He smiled the disarming, absolutely heart-melting smile that had gotten her the first time. "I'm sorry to be coming by so late. It's been a long time, hasn't it, Anna?"_

**xXx**

She stood in silence for a long moment. Finally, some sense returned to her. "Emily, go play with your brother in the other room, would you?" The four-year-old started to protest, but her mother quickly shushed her. "We'll talk about it later, alright? Now do as I say." Golden curls bounced as the little girl nodded, taking her younger brother's hand and leading him away. Once they were out of sight, Anna turned back to the Fuhrer. "Why are you here? Was it not enough that you ruined my life once? Have you come to force me to be unfaithful to my husband?"

Roy's eyes widened in shock. "No Anna, nothing of the sort. I just...I adopted Selim...and what should I find when I look at his birth certificate? That I'm his biological father, and all the worry over being forced apart from him was pointless. I wasn't...wasn't going to bother you, but then Hawkeye found out...and she's...well, she made me rethink it. I just wanted to make sure that you were doing all right, and I wanted you to know that I plan to be the best father I can to Selim. I love him. I didn't realize how broken I was until I found him." He paused to breathe, obviously holding back tears. "If there's anything you need, anything at all, you just let me know, alright?"

She smiled a little and shook her head. "You've gotten smarter in your old age, haven't you?"

He looked at her indignantly, "Old? Old! She thinks I'm old! It's the end of the world!"

She laughed. "I take it back, you're the same as always."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh good, and here I thought I'd changed in the last seven years."

She laughed even harder, blinking back tears of mirth. Calming herself, she asked, "Do you want to come in, perhaps have a cup of tea?"

He grinned at her. "I think I'd like that, if it's alright."

She gave him a playful look. "As long as you behave yourself." She gestured for him to enter. "It's probably safer in here anyway, no doubt you've got paparazzi following you wherever you go."

He chuckled a little, shaking his head. "No, so far they've left me alone, though I think that's primarily because most people are more concerned over the reconstruction efforts."

She led him into the kitchen, encouraging him to sit, and went about making tea. "How is that going, by the way?"

"Better than I had hoped, actually. Fuery and Falman are extremely capable men, I'm glad I put them in charge. Though I still wish that it hadn't been necessary to destroy half the city in the first place." He murmured, accepting a steaming mug of tea from her. "Thank you."

"Careful, it's hot." She murmured, sitting down with her own mug. "You did a great thing, Roy. Half the city may have been broken, and far more people than we would have wished died, but ultimately you took the rule of our country from the hands of a killer, and you made all of us safe again. There is very little that is braver than what you did."

He sighed, swirling the dark liquid in his mug absentmindedly. "I know of several things braver than what I did. It was difficult, organizing all this and killing the fuhrer, sure, and maybe a weaker man would not have been able to do it, but I just keep remembering Edward...."

Anna's face screwed up in confusion. "Edward? Who is that?"

Roy ran a shaky hand through his hair and took a sip of his tea. "My lover. Or at least...he used to be. He's not with us anymore."

"I'm so sorry, Roy. It must have been painful for you to lose him. Was he in the military? He didn't...did he die during the war?" She reached out to his hand resting on the table, and took it in her own.

He shook his head slowly, willing the tears away. "No, he died for a much nobler cause. You see, his mother died when he and his brother were very young, and they tried to bring her back using alchemy. It was a failure, and worse than that, Edward lost his leg, and Alphonse—his brother—lost his entire body. Edward managed to bind Alphonse's soul to a suit of armor, but at the cost of his own arm." He stopped to take a deep breath. "In his search for a way to get their bodies back, they came to Central to become state alchemists, so that they would have access to our many libraries and other resources. Edward made it, and became the youngest state alchemist in history."

A sudden gasp from Anna made Roy pause. "You mean to tell me that..."

"Edward Elric was my lover? That he had a horrific past? Yes. But despite the hardships he had faced even at his age, Edward cared about the people, and he was the most gifted alchemist I have ever met. I must confess that I was a large part in getting him to join the military. I knew of his father, you see, the famous Hohenheim Elric. That was the reason that I happened to be in Resembool that night. I was looking for Hohenheim, and instead I found two very gifted young alchemists who had attempted human transmutation and survived. I was the one that suggested they come to Central and become state alchemists, and I suppose that the events following were consequently my fault.

"Ed had felt a lot of hurt in his lifetime, and I cannot say that being a dog of the military helped him any. In fact, I saw firsthand that every time he came back from a mission there was a little less light in his eyes. It hurt me to see that happen to him, but he was in it already and there was no going back. He could leave the military if he so wished, but because he was Edward Elric he would never give up, even though continuing this life gave him more than just physical scars."

Squeezing his hand gently, Anna murmured, "Roy, you don't have to keep talking if you don't want to."

He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "No, I've needed to talk about this for a long time, and I think you need to know." Another deep breath and he continued. "When he was seventeen I took him as my lover. By that time he had seen so much pain and hurt that the light had completely dulled from his eyes. He was a shell of who he had been and he had almost completely lost hope in ever finding a way to get his brother's body back. He had long since stopped pretending that he was looking to replace his own missing limbs because he was used to his automail and he felt that after all the things he had done he _deserved_ to be handicapped for the rest of his life.

"We were in love. Looking back on it we probably had been for years, though at first we had more of a father-son relationship than a romantic one. He grew on me. He's the kind of person that gets under your skin and despite all your efforts to keep him from getting close to you, it's inevitable." A pause to regain control over himself. "I saw how he gained the affections of all my subordinates. He didn't do it purposefully, but eventually they all began to see him as a younger brother. Perhaps my affections toward him should have been the same, but I couldn't help falling in love with that young man who seemed to be fighting endlessly.

"We had only a few months together. It was wonderful, being in love for the first time in my life. I know that Edward felt the same way. He cared about me so much...but at the same time he had a promise to keep, one that had held him much longer than I. He found a way...the only way...to recover Alphonse's body. I wanted to stop him so badly...but I knew that his brother came first and foremost, no matter how much he might love me." Tears ran down Roy's cheeks as he recounted memories that he had suppressed for weeks.

"He came to me, to say good-bye. I tried to change his mind, convince him that we could find another way, but we both knew the truth. He had to do it. The last time I ever saw Edward he was covered in transmutation runes and sacrificing himself to give his brother the only thing he had ever wished for. I wept for him, though even now I do not believe that he is dead. I suppose that it doesn't matter in the end, because alive or dead I'm not going to see my Edward again in this lifetime. I've come to accept that." At some point during his monologue Anna had moved nearer to him and was rubbing his back soothingly.

"I had submitted myself to death in this war, in the hopes that a new fuhrer would take over and make the world a better place. I had never expected to make it through and become fuhrer myself. But Selim...he saved my life. If not for him I would be dead and the old fuhrer would probably be ruling even more cruelly than before. I will be forever grateful that my son was there, to keep me alive and to give me a new reason to keep living. I'm not sorry that he is my son, though I am sorry that it has taken me this long to find out."

Anna looked at him sorrowfully, one hand going up to twist nervously in her hair. "I'm sorry, Roy. I should have told you...I just didn't think you'd want to know. I kept picturing you turning Selim and I away with nowhere to go and not a penny to our names."

Roy sighed, reaching up and gently pulling her hand away from her hair. "How could you even think that I would be so heartless? It's true that I'm not exactly the most dependable man, and at the time I wasn't really capable of supporting a family, but I would have contributed what I could. I would never just turn you away."

"I had no way of knowing that, Roy. You...I had barely met you when you used me and disappeared. What was I supposed to think?" She murmured, her own tears now falling gently.

"Oh Anna, I've hurt you in so many ways, how can I ever make it up to you?" Roy answered in kind, stroking her hair soothingly.

"You can start by getting away from my wife!" An angry voice came from the doorway. Anna jolted up and stared over Roy's shoulder in shock.

"Richard, no, we were just talking! It's alright!" She cried, her voice high with tension.

"Just talking my ass. He had his hands all over you!" Richard yelled, taking several steps into the room.

"It's called comforting each other, you ass! Roy came here because he needed closure, there is no reason to get angry!" By this point she had stood up and was facing her husband down with an angry glare.

"I don't care what you call it, this guy was acting inappropriately with a married woman!" The man's glare was just as strong as Anna's, and Roy felt it was time to put a stop to this.

Standing up and putting on his most polite face, Roy spoke. "You're absolutely right, Sir, I was acting a tad inappropriately with your wife. I did not mean to do such things and I assure you I have a lover of my own and I had only the best intentions in coming here. As Anna said, I was looking for closure, and I believe I have found it. If you wish for me to leave I will do so immediately."

Richard had frozen in place at the first glimpse of Roy's face and the embellishments on his military jacket. "Mr Fuhrer, Sir!" He murmured in awe.

"Well," Roy sighed, "That wasn't exactly the reaction I had in mind, but it works." He stuck his hands in his pockets casually. "You see, Mr...?" He looked to Anna for help.

"Sparrow. My last name is Sparrow now."

Roy nodded his thanks and continued. "Mr Sparrow. As you probably know, I just adopted the previous fuhrer's son. Except it seems that he was not really Bradley's son, but rather adopted. And what should I find when I look at his birth certificate? My own name as his father. Can you guess who the mother was?"

Richard glanced sidelong at his wife and then turned back to Roy. "My Anna? She...when?"

Anna hugged her husband gently. "Nearly eight years ago, Love. Long before I even met you."

He sighed, "Alright, Mr Fuhrer, continue if you would."

Roy nodded, restraining a smile and holding back tears at the same time at the sight of two people so obviously in love, even after being married for as long as they had. "She never told me. I only found out yesterday, and after some nudging from a friend of mine I came to find her. Like I told Anna before, if there is anything you need, if you're ever in trouble, just give me a call. I will do whatever I can to help you."

"Thank you." Richard murmured quietly.

It was silent for a time, until they heard sniffling coming from the doorway. There stood little Emily, hugging her younger brother tight. "He heard you yelling." She explained. "Mommy and Daddy never yell, so we figured it must be something bad." She turned to Roy. "Are you going to take Mommy away?"

Roy smiled gently at her. "No child, I'll not be taking away your mother."

She shuffled her feet a little, surrendering Stephen when her mother came to retrieve him. "I just thought...that was the only reason I could think of that would make the Fuhrer come to our house."

Roy walked over to her, kneeling in front of her tiny form. "I came to your house to help you. When is your birthday?"

She smiled, answering, "It's in exactly a week. I'll be five years old." She held up one hand, demonstrating how old she would be.

He grinned at her. "An important age, to be sure. For such an important birthday you surely need an extra-special present. What do you want most in the world?"

Her eyes widened. He was going to give her whatever she wanted? "A little sister." She stated confidently.

Roy laughed. "I'm afraid that's one of the few things I cannot get for you. How about something else. A toy, perhaps?"

She appeared to ponder it for a while, and then she murmured, "I want a doll with brown hair and a pretty blue dress, and I want her eyes to be just like yours."

Roy smiled with wry humor. "Just like mine, huh? I think I can handle that."

She looked like there was something else she wanted to say, shifting from foot to foot and looking uncertain. Finally she asked, "Will you come to my birthday party?"

Roy became very serious, nodding sagely. "It wouldn't be a proper party without the Fuhrer there to wish you Happy Birthday now, would it?"

She squealed and hugged him. "Thank you, Uncle Roy!" She cried, running to find her mother—who had wandered off to change Stephen at some point during the proceedings—so that she could tell her the good news.

Roy was left with Richard. The other man stared at him for a long moment, fully taking in the crisp, professional military uniform, the neatly combed black hair (mussed slightly from his habit of running his hands through it), and the scars marring his stunning features.

Roy, in turn, assessed Anna's husband. Richard looked to be in his late twenties, with messy blond hair and plain brown eyes. He wore a suit, so he was most likely a businessman or something of the sort. The thing that Roy noticed most about him though, was that he seemed tired. Not just physically tired, but an exhaustion that ran throughout your entire being. Roy recognized it because he was the same way himself. But in spite of being tired—of life, of this world—they had both found a reason to live. For Roy, it had been Edward, and then Selim. For Richard, he could tell, it was Anna and their two children.

Finally, Richard broke the long silence between them. "Can you really promise those things to her?"

Roy looked into his eyes, wondering what exactly he meant. "To Emily? Or to Anna?"

Richard paused for a moment, suddenly unsure which he _had _been referring to. Eventually, "Both."

"I will do everything in my power to make Anna happy. She deserves it, after what I did to her. And as for Emily...I have connections and money. I can get her a doll for her birthday, and I can be at her party, too, if she wishes it. Perhaps I'll bring Selim as well." Roy said, confidence in his voice except for the last sentence.

Richard shook his head. "I'm not sure that would be wise. Selim has had enough shocking experiences in the last few weeks. Telling him that he has a mother after all...I'd hate to think what would happen. I would think he's already mentally unstable, that could be the last straw."

Roy ran a hand through his hair. "Actually, I hadn't planned on telling him that Anna was his mother. I would love for him to have her in his life, but like you said, he's mentally unstable as it is. That's why I thought...maybe we could introduce her as his aunt? When he's old enough to hear it we'll tell him the truth, but for now...it would be nice for him to meet his mother, even if he doesn't know who she is."

Richard smiled a little. "I think that's a good idea. We'll see you at the party, then?" He reached out to shake Roy's hand.

A nod from the dark-haired man as he returned the handshake. "Yes, definitely."

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Well, thanks for reading and please review. What did you think of Anna's family?


	12. Parties and Surprises

**A/N:** Quick author's note, and then I'm going to play video games with my sister. I got it done. I wrote this chapter in like two hours, so I'm not sure how good it is, and please excuse any typos. Also, I've decided to ignore the missed update last week, and possibly make up for it with a bonus chapter for Christmas. Let me know if you're interested in that.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine except for the Sparrow family.

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_**Chapter 11: Parties and Surprises**_

"Selim, put on your dress clothes please, we're going out." Roy said, leaning into Selim's doorway.

"Where are we going?" Selim asked, looking up from his coloring book.

"Your cousin is having a birthday party." Roy replied, going across the hall into his own room to change, but leaving the door open so he could continue to talk to Selim.

"I have a cousin?" Selim got up and put away his coloring book and crayons, wandering to his closet to find an outfit.

"Yes Selim, you have a cousin. Please get ready." Roy responded, finding a suit and dressing. He was working on his tie when Selim walked in, wearing what he deemed "Dress Clothes." Roy was far from impressed.

"I'm ready, Daddy." Selim said proudly, showing off his outfit—a pair of ripped pants that Roy had already told him he wasn't allowed to wear out of the house and a shirt meant only for play—and grinned from ear to ear.

Sadly, this was actually a fairly regular occurrence. After the first few times Roy had started laying out his clothes for him, and while sometimes Selim just put them on without question, other times he decided that he didn't like them and instead selected his own clothes from the closet, always sure to wear something he knew Roy wouldn't approve of and always incredibly proud of himself. Roy didn't think it was funny (Especially when he was in a hurry) but Selim seemed to think of it as a game, constantly trying to outsmart his father.

Roy was especially annoyed because of the hassle he had gone through to make sure that Selim had only clothes that he liked. They had spent hours going from store to store trying to find things that were acceptable, and in the end had gone to a tailor for all his dress clothes because he was very particular about how they fit and what they looked like. He had accepted play clothes from a fancy department store, and very honestly Roy was just glad that he hadn't had to buy the child personalized underwear.

He remembered that as soon as they had gotten home Selim had taken all his new clothes (Except the dress clothes, which took a few days to make) and written his name on every tag in the best handwriting a seven-year-old could make. He had then proceeded to throw everything haphazardly into drawers and ignore it. Roy had been thankful that the dress clothes would come monogrammed and in garment bags, so that Selim wouldn't have to handle them until just before wearing them.

As he remembered these things, Roy marched his son back into his own bedroom and sat him on the bed, going to the closet and pulling out a pair of nice, black pants that had yet to be ripped by the rambunctious seven-year-old and a blue, button-down shirt. "Here, Selim. Put these on, and please hurry we have ten minutes until we need to leave."

Unfortunately, his words only compelled Selim to move slower, and so eventually Roy took the shirt from him and finished dressing his son as if he were a doll. Sometimes, the quickest way was simply to do it himself. For example, when they had ten minutes left to get ready and Selim still needed to comb his hair and he himself still had yet to finish tying his tie.

'_I couldn't just wear my uniform. No, I have to wear a suit. I hate ties!'_ Roy thought as he finished buttoning Selim's shirt and handed him a comb, ordering him to use it. _'Maybe I should just get a clip-on tie. No one would have to know. Except that I'm sure _someone_ would notice, and then it would be a huge scandal, because the Fuhrer can't even tie his own tie.'_

Eventually, he triumphed over the tie, and then he checked on Selim to see how he was coming with his hair. He sighed when he saw that the comb had turned into a car and had just driven to the top of Mount Dresser. As much as he loved the kid, it was still a little irritating when his over-active imagination decided to turn the bathtub into an ocean right when he was supposed to be getting out (This had happened on several occasions).

**xXx**

Miraculously, they left the house with two minutes to spare, and apparently missed all the traffic, arriving to the party five minutes early. This was perfectly acceptable in Roy's eyes, as he had been hoping to introduce Selim to Anna and her family before too many other guests had shown up.

"Anna, this is my son Selim. Selim, this is your Aunt Anna." Roy said slightly nervously, still managing to smile encouragingly at the child as he glanced hesitantly towards his "aunt."

Anna, though there were tears brimming in her eyes at seeing her son after so long, leaned down towards him and smiled gently. "It's nice to meet you, Selim."

Selim smiled the way only children can and hugged her without a second thought. Roy could see that she was fighting hard not to cry. He suspected that it was a losing battle.

"Momma, who's that?" A small voice asked somewhere at Roy's side. Stephen was standing there, thumb very near his mouth as if he had been sucking it and had only removed it to speak. He was clutching a worn green blanket in the other hand.

"Stephen, this is your cousin Selim." Anna said, her voice surprisingly steady considering the tears threatening to spill down her face. She motioned her younger son over and hugged him as well. "Now, why don't we go find the birthday girl?"

Both boys nodded. At some point Stephen's thumb had returned to his mouth. He held his mother's hand and toddled after her, Selim on the other side, also holding her hand.

"I think, even though he doesn't know that she's his mother, he still feels a bond with her. I'm just worried how Anna's handling it." Richard had come up beside Roy while he was watching Anna interact with the children.

Nodding, Roy responded, "He definitely feels connected to her on some level, and I think that's a good thing. It would probably be harder for Anna if he were afraid of her. She might think that she had done something wrong, and that he would never love her. As things are, she is handling it admirably."

Richard seemed to take Roy's words to heart. "You're probably right. Knowing Anna as I do, I can see that she might be upset if he wasn't immediately comfortable with her. She's really a very delicate person, though she doesn't show it often."

Roy turned to the other man, smiling. "I think this might actually work. I was unsure until I saw them together, but…it will be good for both of them. Perhaps mend some of the holes life has left in their hearts."

Richard nodded, and they seemed to have a silent agreement that the subject needed no further discussion.

**xXx**

The party was simple, but very enjoyable. Roy found himself joking and laughing with the other parents, and Selim had a wonderful time playing with his "cousins" and the other children.

Emily's cake was chocolate, and was covered in so much blue icing—it was her favorite color—that Roy was almost afraid to eat it. Of course, the kids all dived right in. After Selim's announcement that the cake was delicious and his Daddy absolutely had to have a slice, Roy couldn't say no. After all, his son was just so cute with his face all covered in blue frosting (Apparently being older than the rest of the children didn't make him able to eat more tidily).

Gifts were presented with so much fanfare Roy found himself wanting to laugh. At first Emily couldn't decide whether she wanted to open Roy's present first, or save it for last. Eventually she decided that she just **had** to know what the others were, since she had specifically requested something of Roy and already knew what it was. There were many dolls and dresses and other trinkets—for instance, a silver locket from her grandparents—but the best gift that she received by far was the gift from her parents.

Theirs was just a small box, and when Emily opened it, she found a piece of paper inside. When she turned the paper over, however, it was an ultrasound picture. The photo was not, as Roy had first thought, a picture of Emily before she was born, but rather a much more recent one. "Mommy and Daddy are having another baby." Anna explained gently to the excited five-year-old. "In a few months you and Stephen are going to have a little sister."

Just like that, Emily had gotten the one thing she wanted most in the world. It had been the one thing Roy was unable to give her, and he was glad that she had gotten it anyway. After that, the spotlight was taken from Roy's gift but he really didn't mind so much. He was just glad that Emily was so happy on the one day of the year that was solely hers.

Even so, there was much squealing and cooing over the doll with the pretty blue dress and the midnight black eyes. Roy had taken much care in finding a doll that exactly fit her requirements, and it seemed he had been successful.

Selim fell asleep on Roy on the car ride home. He had had a long day, and Roy understood him being tired. He felt somehow accomplished, having done the things that he promised to do. He had gotten Emily the doll that she longed for, but also he had reunited his son with his mother, and they had bonded immediately. Whatever came in the future, right now he was glad that his family, such as it was, was together and happy.

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Hope you enjoyed, please review. Going to play guitar hero now.


	13. Bonus Chapter 1: Clothes Shopping

**A/N: **This is the first of three bonus chapters. The next will be posted tomorrow, and the third on Wednesday (Christmas Eve). I guess this is kind of to make up for being such a crappy updater. I promise to try harder in the future. This chapter is mostly crack, but it kind of extends the whole "Selim is really annoying when it comes to shopping for clothes" idea. I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer:** Seriously? If I owned it I wouldn't bother with fanfiction!

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_**Bonus Chapter #1: Clothes Shopping (Or: "Why Did I Decide To Do This?")**_

"Selim, what do you think of this shirt?"

"..."

A sigh. "Well, how about this one?"

"..." A glare.

"But it's identical to two of the others you've already picked out!"

Another glare.

"Honestly Selim, what's wrong with it?"

"...it's green."

"What's wrong with green?"

An incredulous look. "I don't like green."

"There's a pair of green pants in your pile!"

A head shake. "Those are _forest_ green. I like forest green."

"But you don't like this green, is that it?" Brandishing the shirt.

Another head shake.

Hands thrown in the air. "Fine! You can pick out the clothes yourself then! I'll just push the cart!"

A nod. "Good idea. You're bad at this, Daddy."

"I only ever wear blue and black, and I'm not nearly as picky about the style and such as you are."

"Daddy, I'm seven."

"That doesn't mean you have to be so picky."

"Daddy, I'm **seven**."

Hands thrown in the air again. "Fine, have it your way. I'll just watch."

Another nod.

**xXx**

"Alright sir, so you want these pants with that waist band and that cuff, two pair in navy, two in black, and three in tan?"

"Yes."

"And then you want this jacket with that collar and these buttons, two in navy, two in black, and one in tan?"

"Yes."

"We did find a style of shirt that you liked, and you wanted three in white, two in pale blue, one in black, and one in forest green?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Will that be everything for you today, sir?"

"I think so, thank you."

"You are very welcome, sir. Your garments will be ready in three days' time."

"Thank you."

"Have a nice day, sir."

**xXx**

"Today was the longest day of my life."

"Daddy, you're being silly. We haven't even been up for ten hours yet."

"Dear me, it took you that long to pick out clothes?"

"..."

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Hope you enjoyed it, I love playing with Selim. Please review!


	14. Bonus Chapter 2: The Doll

**A/N: **I so can't handle this right now. It's late, and I'm typing this by the light of my computer screen because I don't want to wake up my roommate. It is still Tuesday at the time of writing this, so I officially got it posted in time. I totally thought that I would be able to do it earlier today, but it just didn't happen. Sorry.

**Disclaimer: Not mine, too lazy to think up something even vaguely witty.**

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**_Bonus Chapter #2: The Doll (Or: "What Is Up With This?")_  
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"A doll, Sir?" Hawkeye asked incredulously.

Roy had spent hours going from store to store, trying to find a doll like Emily had described. He must have visited a hundred stores, looked through thousands of dolls, and he still could not find the exact doll she had requested. He had finally given up and gone to the one source he knew he could rely on.

"Yes, Hawkeye, a doll. A very specific one, at that. It's for Anna's little girl. Can you help me?" He was only slightly irritated that Hawkeye was questioning him. After all, it was a strange thing for a man with only a son to request, unless that son happened to like dolls, which Selim most definitely did not. He was decidedly more interested in trains and cars. Roy had a feeling that his son would be an inventor someday.

A look of recognition dawned on Hawkeye's face, and her smile was sly as she said "Very well, Sir. I'll see what I can do."

Roy thanked her, and she left.

**xXx**

Two days later he was doing paperwork when a box was placed carefully right under his nose. "The doll, Sir. It's just as you requested."

He opened the box, and inside was a doll so perfect he was almost afraid to touch it. It's brown hair glistened, and the dress was blue silk, so delicate and beautiful. The thing he noticed most was not the perfect craftsmanship, nor the intricate embroidery on the dress, though these things were amazing. No, what he noticed the most was that the eyes had been made exactly right, down to the dull, dead gleam.

It truly was perfect.

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That feels like an abrupt ending even to me. Sorry again.


	15. Bonus Chapter 3: I Hate the Holidays!

**A/N:** This was really fun to write! There's a little bit of background stuff if you look for it, but mostly this chapter is just for fun and giggles. Regular updating schedule will continue as usual on Saturday. For now, Happy Holidays to all! I'm gonna go spend Christmas with my family.

**Disclaimer: **I'm hoping that I'll get Fullmetal Alchemist for Christmas.

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_**Bonus Chapter #3: I Hate the Holidays! (Or: "Well...Maybe Not So Much.")**_

"Al, are you sure I have to go to this thing?" Edward asked as he pulled on a nice shirt and began buttoning it.

"Yes Brother, I'm sure. Come on, you never do anything fun anymore. Besides, you were invited, and it's too late to decline." Al responded, tossing a tie at Ed's head.

"A tie? Seriously? And I don't see the point of the whole 'Holiday Party' thing. It's just an excuse for people to get drunk." Ed sighed, sullenly putting on the tie.

"Yes, a tie. It won't kill you to look nice this once. This party is a chance to get to know your coworkers outside of work. It'll be good for you." Al reasoned, sighing at Ed's pathetic attempts to tie the tie and finally just doing it himself. "You know, it's pretty sad when a suit of armor with the soul of a fifteen year old can tie a tie better than you can."

Ed made a typical angry/pouting face and refused to respond. Chuckling, Al forced him out the door and into the snow. "Hey!" Ed yelled angrily, "It's cold out here!"

Still chuckling, Al tossed his coat at him and shut the door in his face.

**xXxHappyHolidays!xXx**

Ed made it to Central Headquarters in no time, cursing Al, the snow, ties, and whoever had set up the stupid party in the first place. He stepped inside happily, relishing the warmth of the heated building, and stomped snow off his shoes. "Now Al is going to scold me for ruining these. I hate nice shoes." He muttered, looking around curiously. It seemed that most of the departments had planned holiday parties on this night, and many of the offices were light up and decorated festively.

Ed hated the holidays. It was just one more thing that hadn't been the same since his mom had died. He usually just ignored the party invitations and the carolers and everything else related to the season. This year though...he had made the mistake of being in Central for the holidays, and now Al was forcing him to attend this office party. He was not happy.

Still, he dutifully trudged to Colonel Mustang's office and stepped inside, figuring he'd stay for an hour or two—just until everyone was too drunk to notice anything—and then he'd get out of there. As soon as he entered the office there was a chorus of greetings, and someone put a glass of eggnog in his hand. He didn't drink it, as he wasn't terribly fond of eggnog. His coat was whisked away to a coat rack somewhere on the other side of the room, and he was encouraged to sit down on one of the couches and relax for a little while until he had warmed up after being outside for so long.

The night seemed to fly by without warning. Before Ed realized, it had been two hours and everyone had decided that they needed a team picture. They gathered into a group, Edward, Fuery and Riza sitting on a couch and Falman, Havoc and Breda standing behind. Roy was taking the picture. "Fullmetal," he called, "Maybe you should stand on the couch so I can get you in the picture."

Ed's face began turning red. Riza rolled her eyes, and Fuery and Falman chuckled. Roy snapped the picture and then ran to hide behind his desk.

That was when Edward exploded.

"I've had it with this! I came to this freaking party because Al wanted me to! He made me wear a tie, and nice shoes, and then he made me _walk through the snow_ to get here! I hate the holidays, and I'm tired of doing stuff that other people want me to, so _for once_ can you _shut up_ about my_** height**_!"

Roy peeked up over the desk. "Well...that was unexpected. I guess...I can stop teasing you for tonight."

Ed gave a smirk that actually frightened Roy a little bit. "Good." He growled.

Hoping to subdue Ed a bit, Breda put a glass in his hand. Without looking at it—though he guessed it was probably eggnog—Ed knocked it back. A strange look overcame his face. "That was _not_ eggnog."

Breda shook his head hurriedly. "No, it was...never mind, you probably don't want to know. Want another?"

Ed nodded and gave the glass back to Breda. It was returned full.

Over the next half hour, Ed drank more glasses of whatever-it-was than he could count. But as he drank, he just felt better and better.

After an hour, Ed was acting really strange. He could no longer stand up on his own, and his speech was slurred. Roy decided to step in. "Edward, are you...drunk?"

"I don't...know whasht you're talkings about." Ed answered, hiccuping loudly.

Roy sighed. "Breda, what have you been giving him?"

Breda had the decency to look sheepish. "Um...whiskey?"

Roy glared at him. "You do realize that he's underage, right?"

Breda laughed nervously. "Sorry?"

"You know what?" Roy asked, "I'm going to forgive you this time. But I think it's time for everyone to go home."

His team all nodded their consent, and offered to help him get Edward home. But Roy shook his head. "Don't worry about it. You all just go home and get some rest. It looks like Breda and Havoc might need some help getting home themselves." With that, he shoved himself and Ed into their coats and threw Ed over his shoulder, taking his leave.

Central Headquarters was virtually deserted, as most of the other parties had ended more than an hour before and everyone had gone home. Thus, there was no one there to witness Edward kicking and screaming as Roy carried him out of the building and into the snow-covered city. Eventually Ed got tired and gave up, resigning himself to being carried home. It was quiet between them for a while, until...

"Roy, I love you _this_ much." Ed held out his arms to demonstrate how much.

Roy snorted. "I love you too, Edward."

"Ed."

"Huh?"

"You never call me Ed. My name is Ed."

"Your name is Edward."

"It sounds too formal when you say that. Call me Ed."

"Alright. I love you, Ed."

"Love you too, Roy."

After that Ed fell asleep in Roy's arms.

**xXxHappyHolidays!xXx**

"Colonel Mustang, what are you doing here?" Al asked as his dorm door opened and Roy entered carrying Ed.

"He got a little drunk. Give him some aspirin in the morning and he'll be fine."

"Drunk? How did he get drunk? He's underage!"

"Breda gave it to him. I thought it was eggnog, honest."

"Whatever. Thanks for bringing him home."

"You're welcome. Good night Alphonse. Happy Holidays."

"Good night Colonel Mustang."

Al's suspicious glare followed Roy out of the dorm and back into the snow.

* * *

I like talking about the snow, have you noticed? We've got more than a foot where I live, and in fact, we just got more last night. It's the first time in a while that we've had a white Christmas. Usually it warms up and melts all the snow just before. I hope everyone gets to spend the holidays with their loved ones. I'll see you all again on Saturday!


	16. Growth, Life, and Close Encounters

**A/N: **Those of you who don't have Story Alert on and just check for updates every Saturday are probably really confused if you've noticed that all of a sudden there are a lot more chapters than last week. I posted three bonus chapters this week, and you can go read them if you feel like it. If not, they were side-fics and you won't die if you ignore their existence. Let me just say that I am in pain (I slipped on the ice and fell down some steps today, hitting my back on a step above me in the process) and it has been really hard for me to work on this. I really need to lay down for a while now. Also, I've been biting my nails again and my finger is bleeding all over the keyboard. Please enjoy, I'ma go rest.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it I wouldn't bother with this crap. And have I mentioned that I can't draw to save my life?

* * *

_**Chapter 12: Growth, Life and Close Encounters**_

Roy and Selim continued to visit with Anna and her family. Sometimes the Sparrows came to Roy's home, and sometimes he and Selim went to theirs. They had a comfortable relationship, and Roy found himself becoming good friends with Richard and Anna. They had left the past behind them, and it was definitely better for all. Everyone was happy, especially Anna, who could spend time with her son after not knowing him for so long. She doted on him, though she was careful to show just as much attention to her other children.

Growing is an odd thing. Sometimes it can be accelerated, and you can hardly grasp how much time has gone by and how much you have changed. Other times, it seems that you hardly grow at all, and you often spend time wishing that life weren't so monotonous. For Roy, these months seemed to be the former. He was busy; he was Fuhrer, a father, and a friend to many. He barely had time to think, most days.

Roy was thankful that he rarely had time to think. As long as he was busy, he did not have to remember Edward and the life they could have had together. There were times when he wished that Ed had not made that sacrifice, but there were also times when he was incredibly grateful. Perhaps his life would be better if Ed were still with him, but he had learned from what his lover had done and hoped to improve his life and the life of his son with that new knowledge.

Roy had learned a lot of things in the past few months; things that he never could have imagined before he met Ed, before he started a life with him. He had learned never to take people for granted. Even the most useless seeming man or woman could have drastic effects on society, on the world...on his own life. A woman he hadn't even remembered had given him the best gift he could have received in his hour of need: a son. And though that child had been hidden from him for seven years, he had discovered him at exactly the right moment. Roy didn't know if there was a god, but whoever or whatever was controlling his life certainly seemed to have a plan for him.

It seemed that Roy was not the only one whose fate was mapped out for him. He had been corresponding with Winry Rockbell, and it seemed that she and Al had begun courting about two months after he returned to Resembool.

Roy felt that somehow everything—their entire lives—was connected, and that without Edward's act of selflessness they could not have moved on...that they would be stuck in the same monotony forever. He had come to terms with the fact that there had been no other way: no other way for those who knew Ed to continue their lives, no other way to bring Al's body back, no other way for a lot of things.

Still...Roy wished that he could have had more time with the young man, that they could have had another month or two to live together, to share their love, before they had to be separated. He would never accept that Edward was dead, and he wouldn't give up on the possibility that he could come back, but he was going to continue his life. If Ed never returned, then when Roy met up with the man he loved in the afterlife, he would at least be able to say that he hadn't given up. After all, it was what Ed would have wanted.

**xXxRoyIsEmoxXx**

"Sir, I have an outline for your speech for the press conference and a list of possible questions, so that you can prepare answers ahead of time." Riza Hawkeye announced, setting a pile of papers on Roy's desk.

"Thank you, Hawkeye." Roy murmured, leaning back and rubbing his temples.

"Another headache, Sir?" She asked, looking at him with concern.

"It's nothing, Hawkeye, I'll be fine." He answered, returning to his paperwork. He had been having headaches on and off for a few days. He had blamed it on stress because of the upcoming press conference and ignored it.

"Would you like some aspirin, Sir?" She offered, still looking concerned.

"I think that would be a good idea if I plan to get anything done today. Thank you, Hawkeye." He sighed, signing another paper and placing it on the "finished" stack.

"Of course, Sir."

**xXxRoyIsEmoxXx**

The room was bright, and filled with many reporters and cameramen. There was a podium on a stage at the front of the room, and as yet there was no one standing behind it. The people seemed impatient, as if they had been waiting for far too long. Finally, a door behind the podium opened, and the Fuhrer himself stepped out. He stood behind the podium and began to speak.

"Good people of Amestris, I welcome you. I have been your Fuhrer for only three months, but I have received much support, and I thank you for it. Together, we will make this country a better place to live. Already, the reconstruction efforts in our fair city of Central are finished, and I am glad to say that we lost no civilians in the war for peace. Plans for--"

"You liar! You hypocrite!" Roy's speech was cut short by a shout from somewhere in the audience. People looked around in alarm, and several cameras flashed. "He says that they lost no _civilians_ in the war—a war that _he_ started—but what about the fighting men and women that lost their lives? Do they not matter?"

"It is a soldier's choice whose side he is on. If I could have resolved matters without fighting, I would have." Roy responded, always calm.

"Why did you start the war in the first place, then? And you fail to mention the fact that you mercilessly murdered many of those opposing you. The Flame Alchemist a 'Hero,' what a joke! All I see when I look at you is a monster." The man speaking finally made his way to the front of the crowd, and Roy was alarmed to see that he was holding a gun, though he did not show it. His hand casually went into his pocket.

"_You_ fail to mention the fact that I started the war because the previous government was running this country into the ground. They were starting pointless wars and having countless people murdered! You cannot say that I 'mercilessly murdered' anyone, because you _were not_ there! You have no idea how difficult it is for me to lift this hand" Here he held up a gloved hand, "and snap" A demonstration, kept contained for the safety of those watching, "knowing that dozens of people will die or be disfigured beyond recognition because of one, simple movement that I have done more times than I count.

"You know not what a monster is, if you call me such, because the late fuhrer Bradley, who you so admire, was a homunculus. A demon so grotesque and vile that its own creator despises it. A creature without a soul. So go ahead and love him if you wish, but I did what was best for this country when I killed him. I have thousands of deaths on my conscience, but his is not one of them." He ended his speech and took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down, to keep his weaknesses hidden.

"Outright lies. You disgust me. You care not about any of those deaths, the thousands of people who were innocently following the leader that they believed in. You started the war not to improve this country, but to improve your own status. You do not care for the people, you--"

"ENOUGH!" Roy bellowed. "If you do not wish to believe me, that is your own right. However, I will not have you poisoning innocent people's ears with your slander. This is the honest truth: I had planned to die with the previous fuhrer, leaving the position open for someone the people chose, but something unexpected happened. Selim Bradley showed up in the middle of the battle, and his father was going to _murder_ him because he had brought the one thing that would stop a homunculus: a piece of the person the alchemist that had created him was trying to bring back to life.

"It was because of Selim that I survived that fight, and in fact, he was the reason you're not all in slavery or worse by now. But at the same time, I was the reason he was suddenly orphaned. I killed the only father he ever knew, and when his mother was informed of her husband's death she committed suicide. I will never regret killing King Bradley, but I will forever regret suddenly taking away the only life Selim had ever known.

"You know the rest of the story, I'm sure. I adopted Selim and became Fuhrer, and believe me, at first I was not really ready for either. But I adjusted, and a few discoveries helped me along a bit. I probably will not be the most amazing Fuhrer that the world has ever seen, but I hope to do a good job, and maybe make Amestris a little easier to live in."

"This is how you justify it? 'I didn't want to be fuhrer, blah, blah, blah.' I suppose you have a reason why you took a seven year old boy into your home, even though he had no ties whatsoever to you. You could have sent him to an orphanage, where he would have been taken care of, but instead you adopted him. The world sees it as an act of absolute kindness, but I wonder if you did it for a more selfish purpose. After all, who would admit that they are a pedophile?"

Roy turned pale, bits of his control breaking, and he gripped the podium with one hand. "You think that I would do such things to my son? What you fail to understand is that he is not just 'some child I found on the street,' but that he is my son, my flesh and blood. The previous fuhrer adopted him, and at the time I had no knowledge of his existence. Yes...he is an illegitimate child, but he is my son nonetheless. I love him, but only as a father loves his child."

"More lies. I begin to think that you are far too good at this game. It is getting tiring. I think I shall end it." The gun was lifted and aimed at Roy's head. He felt the all-too-familiar whiz of a bullet passing his ear. The next shot would hit. Fortunately, it never came. His attacker took a bullet to the shoulder and he collapsed, the gun falling from his hand. Before he could attempt to pick it up it was kicked aside, and Jean Havoc stood over him, his own gun trained at the criminal's head. A large circle immediately cleared around them.

Roy breathed a sigh of relief, releasing the button on his radio and removing his hand from his pocket. Kain Fuery and Riza Hawkeye ran up beside him, asking if he was alright. Roy barely registered any of it. Finally, realizing that Riza was there, he murmured, "I think you were right, Hawkeye, perhaps I should have some bodyguards after all."

"Of course, Sir. But why didn't you use your alchemy?" She asked.

"He was standing in a crowd of people, and the things he was saying about me...I couldn't prove him right by using my alchemy to kill or even subdue him. I could have hurt someone else, too." He was starting to return to himself. He regained control enough to announce, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this press conference is over. Thank you for attending, I hope the next is less eventful."

People filed out, and the would-be killer was taken out the back, spitting curses and insults at Roy all the while. Roy was just glad that it was over.

* * *

That's it. End of story.

**Just kidding, I would never be that mean!**

Chapter 13 will be posted next Saturday. That will probably be my easiest post ever, because I won't have anything to do all week. Except that I got a ton of books from the library and I have some stuff I have to work on and I might start learning to sew so that I can make cosplays...but that's not that much, usually I do most of that stuff AND I work and go to school. See how much simpler it is? I love winter break!


	17. Headlines, Headaches, and Head colds

**A/N:** Alright, so I got it up. I'm sorry it's so late at night, though it's not as late as it has been. I was forced into watching Burn Notice, I swear it's not my fault. Plus then the kid towards the end wanted to be like...really British. Or something. I don't know how he's ended up, but for a while I was channeling English orphan and I had to stop and start over. He's still kind of...weird. Maybe it's his name that threw me off? I don't know. I'm exhausted and I start school again on Monday, so I really should be spending time studying instead of writing fanfiction. But whatever. Enjoy the chapter. Does anyone actually read this?

**Disclaimer:** No one cares, but just to clarify, I don't own whatever series this is that I'm writing fanfiction for. That's why it's called FANfiction. As in we don't own it but want to write about the characters anyway.

* * *

_**Chapter 13: Headlines, Headaches, and Head colds (Or: "Can We Think Of Any Other Things That Start With 'Head?'")**_

"Sir, there is something you should see." Riza Hawkeye said, entering the Fuhrer's office.

Roy sighed and looked up, rotating his neck as he did so. He hadn't realized that he'd been bent over his paperwork for so long. "What is it, Hawkeye?" He asked.

She set a newspaper on his desk. The front headline read "Fuhrer Mustang A Fraud?"

Leaning back in his chair, Roy gave a long-suffering sigh. "Lets see what sort of lies they've written about me this time."

"Sir, with all due respect, how can you be so calm? This could turn your people against you." Hawkeye asked, raising one blond eyebrow.

"Because, Hawkeye, this is merely _one_ newspaper, _one_ reporter, and whatever it says, there are a dozen others ready to praise me. It may turn a few of the people against me, but if each newspaper gets a few people to believe it, then in the end I will have more supporters than those against me." Roy answered, massaging his temples gently.

Hawkeye immediately dropped the subject, instead asking, "Do you need some aspirin, Sir?"

Roy nodded, wincing.

Hawkeye left, quickly returning with a glass of water and a few aspirin. She helped him take it despite his protests that he could do it himself, and when he had downed them all, she murmured, "They've been getting worse, haven't they? I really think you should go see someone about this, Roy." The fact that she used his first name without any prompting from him meant that she was truly worried about him.

He shook his head. "I know you're worried about me, Riza, but I'm fine, really. I've just been working myself too hard, lately."

"Even so, a doctor might be able to help with that. Roy, I want you to promise me that you'll see someone about it." She insisted, his ever-protective friend.

"Fine." He yielded. "I'll go to a doctor. But they'll probably just suggest that I take some aspirin and rest."

"Then perhaps you should rest for a while, Roy. It's almost six o'clock anyway, so why don't you go get Selim and go home a little early today." She suggested, smiling gently at him.

He conceded, packing up his things and leaving with a last promise from Riza that she would take care of the office until closing time.

As he exited his office, his personal bodyguards watched him. He had demanded that they stay outside, as they were distracting and anyway there wasn't likely to be a threat in his office unless it got there through the door, which they were to guard at all times. Because he knew they would do their job—Hawkeye had picked the best—he usually ignored them. They had been following him around for about a week now, and he knew there were three different teams. They preferred not to talk to him, as it distracted them from their work, and so he did not know their names. Not that it mattered very much.

He had yet to get used to having eyes glued on him at all times, though he supposed he would eventually. Those eyes followed him as he entered Selim's playroom to collect him. They were wondering why he was leaving early. He ignored them, as always.

"Selim, it's time to go." He called, a large smiling overtaking his face.

Selim looked up from his coloring and returned the smile. "Daddy!" He cried, jumping up and running to his father.

Roy scooped the boy up in his arms and twirled him around. "Ready to go home, Kiddo?" He asked, laughing as Selim squealed.

His son nodded quickly, running back to the table he had been coloring at and picking up his drawing. He brought it back to Roy and held it up proudly. On the paper was a stick figure wearing blue clothes and smiling widely. "See, it's Daddy. I made it for you." He said, handing it to Roy.

Roy accepted it with a smile and watched Selim's bodyguard nanny force the child to put on a coat with amusement. The woman he had chosen to care for his son was good at what she did. She was a petite, strongly built woman with short hair such a dark red it was nearly black, and bright green eyes that sparkled with life. She had been an enlisted soldier for fifteen years, under Roy's command and loyal to him throughout the war. But she had grown tired of always fighting, and when Roy had gone through and promoted many of his loyal followers, he had offered her the position she currently occupied. It had been a good compromise, as Roy had not wanted to lose a good soldier and she had not wanted to continue fighting. Granted, there was still the possibility that she would have to protect Selim at some point, but mostly she was there to make sure that he was happy while his father worked.

"Thank you, Raven." Roy said, taking Selim's hand and heading out the door. She just smiled in response.

As they left Roy's bodyguards fell into step beside them. Again, Roy ignored them. Selim had also gotten used to their presence, and chattered to his father about his day rather than focus on the two large men as he had done the first few days.

On the way out of Headquarters they ran into a few people who wished to talk to Roy, which was not uncommon, and eventually made it out into the cold. Roy felt Selim shiver next to him, and automatically looked down. It had been getting colder, lately. "Here," he murmured, taking his scarf from his own neck and leaning down to wrap it around Selim's, "Is that better?"

The small boy nodded, flashing a toothy grin at Roy. "I'm fine now, Daddy."

Roy smiled back. "Shall we stop at the bakery and get some fresh bread for dinner?" He asked.

Selim nodded eagerly. "Can we get that one kind...you know, the brown stuff?"

Roy laughed. "You mean whole wheat?"

More vigorous nodding. "Yeah, that one."

Roy swore his son was one of the strangest children on the planet. He absolutely loved healthy food, though he was also a fan of sugary confections as much as the next seven year old. His favorite meal was steak, whole wheat bread, and a large pile of broccoli. Roy still hadn't completely figured him out.

As they approached the bakery, a child—about eight or so—walked out. Roy found that strange enough at first, but upon closer inspection it was obvious that this child was homeless, and probably an orphan. The coat he wore was nearly see-through, his shoes were full of holes, and he was very thin. He clutched a small loaf of bread to his chest like it was the most precious treasure and shivered from cold. Roy's heart went out to him and he was about to dig into his pocket for some money to offer the child when Selim's hand slipped from his own.

Roy's bodyguard moved to stop Selim, but Roy held out his arm and murmured, "Let him. It's just a child."

Selim walked up to the other boy and carefully unwound the scarf from around his own neck, reaching out and wrapping it around the orphan's. He smiled kindly, and whispered, "If it hadn't been for Daddy, I would be just like you right now. Someday, maybe you'll find someone to love you like that too."

Pride in his son swelled in Roy's heart. He didn't care that Selim had given away his scarf, and actually he was glad for it. He could buy another scarf, after all, but that boy who so carefully protected a loaf of bread obviously could not even dream of it.

Walking up behind Selim, Roy knelt down to their level and smiled gently. "Hello. I'm Roy Mustang, and this is my son Selim. What's your name?"

The boy gawked at him for several moments, then looked at Selim and back at him. "You're the Fuhrer. You're the Fuhrer's son. Wow. I'm James."

Roy held out his hand. "It's nice to meet you, James."

James looked loathe to remove one hand from his precious cargo, but finally freed one and shook Roy's. "Great to meet you too, Mr Fuhrer Sir."

Roy laughed. "Please, call me Roy. Do you have a family around here somewhere?"

James hesitated, then murmured softly, "My dad left a couple of years ago, and my Mama is real sick. My little sister Sara is only three, so I got to provide for the family. I shine shoes everyday in front of the barber shop over on main street, but business hasn't been good lately 'cause it's been so cold. I'm tryin', but there's only so much I can do." By the time he finished, there were tears in his eyes.

Roy pitied the boy. "How old are you, James?" He asked.

"I'll turn ten in a month." He answered.

Roy hadn't expected that, as the child was so small he could easily have been Selim's age, but he didn't show his surprise. "Well James, how much money do you think you'll need to get by until then?"

James seemed to do some calculating in his head, and then sighed, his face regretful. "I don't know, sir. Mama needs medicine, and Sara has outgrown most of her clothes. I'm just barely feedin' us as it is."

Roy shook his head. "Hopefully this will be enough for those things and some food, then." He said, pulling some bills from his pocket.

James' eyes widened at the amount of money Roy was counting out. How could this man—the Fuhrer—possibly give him this much money? He would be able to buy medicine for his mother, clothes for Sara, and still be able to feed them for at least two weeks. He watched reverently as Roy handed him the money. "Thank you so much, Sir. Mama is going to be so happy."

Roy smiled at him. "Thank me by taking care of your family. And come by here again on your birthday. Selim and I stop here nearly every day, and I'll have a surprise for you then."

James' eyes widened even further if that was possible. "Oh no, Sir, I couldn't--"

"But I could, James. Be here on your birthday. One month from today?"

James nodded. "Thank you again, Sir, so much." He said, scurrying off.

"Wow, Daddy, you gave him a lot of money." Selim said in awe.

"He needed it. Now, how about that bread?"

* * *

No, there was not a single scene break in that entire chapter, and it's supposed to be that way. I hope you enjoyed it. Does anyone (Besides Pure Shikon) actually read my author's notes, or do you assume that they are only here to be ignored? It would be great if you could review, even though this chapter was short and below my usual standards.


	18. Articles, Arrangements and Announcements

**A/N:** This took me SO long to write. Seriously, like three hours. I was done, and then I realized that it was shorter than most of my three-hour chapters. So, unfortunately, this chapter is only 2,718 words. I swear I tried, and I was going to make it longer, but I just...it's late, and I'm out of coffee, and I have to do things tomorrow. Also, I can no longer spell. My brain has turned to mush. I'll be posting again next weekend, if I live that long. I don't want to do anymore editing, and I'm tired of conjugating Spanish verbs. I hate verbs! Have fun, I'll just go rant in peace.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it I wouldn't be killing myself writing this. Do you THINK I'm that crazy?!

* * *

_**Chapter 14: Articles, Arrangements, and Announcements (Or: "I Must Be Crazy. Why Are You Still Reading This?!")**_

"Sir, there's news. You're not going to like it." Riza Hawkeye murmured, entering Roy's office brandishing a newspaper.

"Ah? What have they written about me this time?" Roy asked, humor in his voice.

Hawkeye's face remained serious, and she shook her head sadly. "It's not good, Sir. Nearly all the newspapers have picked this one up, and I don't think it's going to drop as easily as the ravings of that half-crazed gunman at the press conference." She let the paper drop onto his desk unceremoniously. The headline read "Fuhrer Mustang Pays Young Boy For Unknown Reasons." Underneath was a picture of Roy handing James a wad of cash. The picture had first appeared under the headline "Fuhrer Mustang Helps and Hopes," along with an article praising him done by a newspaper he trusted, but over the last few weeks it had been picked up by more and more papers and convoluted so much it was sickening. Now it seemed everyone—even those who had supported him in the past—was writing falsely about him.

Roy shook his head. "That's nonsense. I gave him money because he needed it. His mother is sick and his younger sister is only three. He needed to take care of them."

"But Sir, there's no way of knowing that by just looking at the picture. You could be paying him for anything, and there are more people now who are taking the things you were accused of at that press conference more seriously. I hate to say this, but they think--"

"I am not a pedophile!" Roy cried. "I would never even _think_ of doing such a thing! I don't care what the newspapers say, no one could possibly believe such lies!"

"Sir, reporters tell many people what they should think. The majority of our citizens are going to believe it, whether it is true or not. If you do nothing about this and just hope that it goes away, your people could stop trusting you and it could turn into a rebellion, with your death as a result. I beg you to do something." She murmured gently.

Roy sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You're right, as always. Organize a press conference. Also, I'm going to need some papers..."

**xXxI'mDyingxXx**

Roy had spent a week planning, organizing, and practicing his speech. His quality time with Selim had suffered, but he had explained his need to work so hard to his son, and after tomorrow things would hopefully go back to normal. It was past six o'clock, and he had finally decided that there was nothing more to do that he couldn't do at home, so he was reluctantly gathering his things and leaving. He picked Selim up as always, and together they trudged wearily toward home. He had to make one stop first, though....

**xXxI'mDyingxXx**

When they arrived at the bakery, James was standing outside wearing the same old, worn coat and the scarf Selim had given him a month before. Roy had been right in his predictions. "Why don't you come inside, Selim and I have to make a purchase." He said, smiling at the child.

James nodded and followed them inside the store. "So why did you want to see me again, sir?" He asked.

"Because," Roy replied, perusing the bread cases, "I knew that you would spend all that money I gave you on your mother and sister and not buy anything for yourself."

"But--" James began to protest, but Roy cut him off with a wave of his hand.

"I understand that you needed to care for them first. But now it's your turn. It's your birthday, and you deserve something for all your efforts to take care of your family. I admire that in a person. Being as young as you are and still managing to provide for your loved ones takes a lot of guts. But you have to remember that sometimes you have to do something for yourself. I'll help you with that this time." He waved to the storekeeper, an elderly gentleman with very little hair and a kind smile. Pointing to a few loaves of bread he said, "I'd like those, please, and some gingerbread as well." The storekeeper nodded and puttered off to gather his order.

"So...you're buying me bread?" James asked, a puzzled expression on his face.

Roy laughed. "Yes, but that you must share with your mother and sister. The other gift is just for you." He nodded to Selim, and his son shuffled over, holding out his rucksack. Roy took the bag and opened it, pulling out a coat, a pair of shoes, and a few other items.

James' eyes widened at the amount of stuff Roy was pulling out of the bag. "All this...is for me?" He asked, sounding absolutely amazed.

Roy smiled kindly at him. "All for you, yes." He held out the coat, and James removed his old one and put on the new. It looked like Roy had guessed right. It helped that James was about the same size as Selim. The coat was a rich, dark blue, and was made of the best quality wool. It matched the blue and white striped scarf that he already wore.

Next Roy picked up the shoes, and James was quick to replace his own with the shiny leather ones that Roy handed him.

Roy took the old coat and shoes and put them into Selim's rucksack in place of the gifts. Then he handed the rest of the pile to James. There was a smart cap that would be good for warming his head in the winter and keeping the sun from his eyes in summer, and a pair of hand-knit wool mittens—courtesy of Anna, who had wanted to help when she heard about Roy's mission. James put on the hat and carefully tucked the mittens into the pockets of his new coat.

Roy stood and turned to the storekeeper, who had been watching them in fascination. "When I read the newspaper the other day, I wondered how anyone could think such things about you. This definitely makes up my mind, Fuhrer Mustang. You are by far the best man I have ever had the good fortune to meet. I hope your name is cleared, and the people start to think well of you again, Sir." He said, proceeding to blush at making such a speech to the Fuhrer.

Roy smiled. "I'm glad that there are still some people who choose to believe what they see, and not just what the newspapers tell them. Now, how much is that?" He gestured at the bread the storekeeper had gathered for him.

"Don't you worry about that, Sir. If you can make such a large donation, I can do this." The man answered.

Roy sighed. "I'll accept that for the things I ordered for James. However, this one," He pointed to a loaf of bread, "Is for Selim and I, and we definitely don't need charity."

The storekeeper nodded at this logic and accepted payment for that loaf, putting it in a separate bag. Roy thanked him and took it, handing the other bag to James.

James accepted it with awe. Three loaves of bread, and some gingerbread as well! Mama and Sara would be pleased.

"James, is your mother in need of medicine, still?" Roy asked, looking down at James with pity. To think that such a small thing made a young boy so unbelievably happy...

"No sir. She has about a week of medication left, and after that the doctor says she'll be all better. She's been looking better every day, and yesterday she even managed to get out of bed for a while. Once she's done with her medicine she can go back to work, and she says that then I can stop shinin' shoes, although I think I might keep doing it anyway. I like it, even when it's cold, and Mama's job doesn't pay a whole lot."

"What does your mother do?" Roy asked, genuinely curious.

"She works for the newspaper, writing articles." James answered. "She only gets so much for each one she writes, and first starting out again she'll have to take it easy for a while, so she's not going to get payed as much."

Roy nodded, though inside he was surprised. A connection to a journalist could be a powerful thing. "I just have one last question, and then I'll let you get home. What's your last name?"

"Madison, sir. James Madison." He smiled, and it was so sweet and childlike, and so free of the pain of life that his eyes displayed that Roy almost wanted to cry. This child...no matter what happened, he would be alright. Roy could feel it.

**xXxI'mDyingxXx**

"Ladies and gentleman, I thank you all for coming. I have called this meeting for two reasons. Firstly to clear up some misconceptions, and secondly to make an announcement that will benefit our country for many years to come." Roy gave his best smile. He was going out on a limb, here. Whether this worked or not depended entirely on the people in front of him. Reporters and photographers, all wondering what it was that he could possibly have called a press conference for on such short notice.

"The first thing I need to talk about regards myself and things that certain newspapers have written about me. I am not a pedophile. I will not take children—male or female—to my bed. I find the act disgusting and utterly wrong. I will not tolerate such things in this government or this country. Those found guilty of such a crime will be punished." He paused here, allowing his words to sink in. "As for Selim, he is my biological son. So that no one can think otherwise, I will be allowing public access to his birth and DNA records, as well as my own DNA. Everyone here will be given a copy as they leave. Feel free to publish it in your newspapers.

"Also, just so everyone knows, his mother has given me permission to make these records public, though her name has been blacked out for her own safety." He took a deep breath, switching note cards, and continued. "Now, for the next order of business. I, Fuhrer Roy Mustang, and the government of Amestris, present to you: Madison House Charity, Orphanage, and Clinic." Behind him a curtain was dropped, revealing a large poster detailing the new charity.

"Madison House will be a nonprofit organization with locations throughout the country. It will be for single mother's with children to feed, for orphans with no place to go, and for those who are living under the poverty level. It will be a place for women with abusive husbands to go, a place for orphans to find a home, a place to have a free meal to help you make it through to your next paycheck, a place that will help you find a home when you have none and help you buy it as well. All Madison House branches will have free clinics, providing health care and low priced prescriptions to those who can't afford to go to a doctor.

"I have personally witnessed the struggling of Amestris' weak, poor, and orphaned. It breaks my heart when I compare those children who are out on the streets, begging for food, shining shoes to feed their families, to my own son Selim, who has never felt that hunger, who has never had to work just to eat, who has never given up things for himself to make one of his loved ones a little more comfortable, a little happier. But all the same, when Selim saw the poor boy James—the one I'm pictured with in so many newspapers—it was he who approached the child first. Selim saw James, and without hesitating he went to him and gave to him his own scarf, even though he too was shivering from cold, because he knew that James needed it more.

"When I saw that simple act of charity, I realized that I could do more than that. Selim had given this child much, but I knew instinctively that he needed more. I began talking to James, and I learned that his mother was sick, and his younger sister was only three years old. He was shining shoes in front of the barber shop on main street every day, just so he could earn enough money for his family to eat. I believed his story right away, because he was clutching a small loaf of bread like it was the most precious thing in the world. To him, it probably was." He took a deep breath, willing his voice to remain steady as he continued his speech. He had practiced it so many times, and he had really thought that he could manage this without crying.

"I had never treasured such a thing in my life. I had always been relatively privileged, and throughout my life I have never been in want of food. Seeing this child so desperate wrenched my heart. I gave him money to feed his family, to buy his mother the medicine she needed, and to get new clothes for his sister. Yesterday was his birthday, and I met with him again in the same place as before, but this time I was prepared for our meeting. You see, I saw a bit of someone I knew in him, and I had guessed that he would not buy anything for himself while his mother and sister were in want of anything.

"He was still wearing the same coat he had been the month before, and the same hole-filled shoes. I had bought him a brand new coat, a pair of shoes, and a hat, and a good friend of mine had donated a pair of hand-knit mittens. I sent him home with the new clothes and and some food, and though I felt great at being able to help him, I knew that one child, one family, would never be enough. It was only a start at the elimination of poverty and homelessness. That is why I dedicate Madison House to James Madison, the one who started it all."

There was applause, and flashbulbs went off all around him. He smiled sadly for the cameras, and as he did he realized that he had started crying at some point during his speech. He didn't bother to wipe the tears away, because the people deserved to know how heart-felt all of this truly was. "I'd like to thank everyone once again for attending. Don't forget to get a packet on your way out." With that he left the stage.

**xXxI'mDyingxXx**

"Mama?" Little Sara asked, looking up at her mother curiously. "Why are you crying, Mama?"

Lucy Madison looked down at her children as a radio announcer began commenting on the speech the Fuhrer had just given. "It's alright, Sara dear, I'm happy."

"Then why are you crying?" She asked, her little fingers reaching up to brush her mother's tears away.

"Sometimes when you get really happy, you just have to cry." Lucy murmured, hugging both Sara and James to her chest. "This is one of those times."

The children cuddled to her, and they sat there for several long minutes, taking comfort in each other's presence. Finally, James broke the silence. "Mama, do you like Fuhrer Mustang?"

She smiled down at him. "He has saved the three of us. You won't have to work so hard, we'll have plenty to eat, and those new clothes look wonderful on you. I don't know how I'll ever thank him."

"I have an idea, Mama." James murmured, squeezing his mother tighter. "He was talking about how all those newspapers said bad things about him. What if you write something good about him?"

She smiled. "I think that's a good idea, James. Fetch me a pen and paper, would you?"

* * *

Is it just me or is that the crappiest ending ever? Also, does this feel like filler to anyone else or am I just being too impatient for the next arc? I hate to say this, because the Sparrow family is all important and stuff, but I like the Madisons better. They're just...so adorable. The next chapter will kind of continue the idea from the end of this one, and some other stuff will be resolved (I hope). Look forward to it, and please review! I need to sleep so that tomorrow I can celebrate Christmas with my best friend (who was in Florida for the actual holiday) and not fall asleep on her, because that would be incredibly mean. I'll see you all next weekend! REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	19. A Better Life

**A/N:** I'm sorry this chapter is so short and crappy. I seriously meant to do better, but I've been sick for three days (It's only been three days?!) and I'm just not thinking too well. I hope you enjoy it anyway, and I promise that next week's chapter will be back up to my usual level.

**Disclaimer: **I have a fever, and I don't really care at this point. I don't own it, OK? I also don't make any money from the posting of this story, but ffnet does because they have ads on all the pages. Don't tell anyone, though.

* * *

_**Chapter 15: A Better Life (Or: "Does That Title Have Anything To Do With The Chapter?")**_

It was the first time in days that Roy had really been able to relax. With plans for Madison House underway things were hectic, and he still had to worry about what the tabloids were saying about him. Today though, there had been no major disasters and he had only had to sign off on a few things. Very few reports had come in that he had to review, and all in all it hadn't been a very busy day.

Selim was in bed, and Roy had just finished washing the dishes. Now he was kicking back in his favorite chair and reading the newspaper for pleasure instead of because someone had written something about him that he had to analyze and possibly correct. Lately he had been noticing that it was harder and harder to focus on smaller print, but he assumed it was just because he was overworked. Overworking seemed to cause him a lot of problems. He hadn't had time yet to keep his promise to Hawkeye to go see a doctor about his headaches.

A few minutes into reading articles that were completely irrelevant to his daily life, Roy stumbled upon one that surprised him. It was tucked into a corner and seemed unimportant, but the headline was: "Fuhrer Mustang: Hero of the People." The title tugged at his heartstrings partly because he was incredibly happy that someone thought that much of him, but also partly because that had been Ed's unofficial title for many years. It was a bittersweet happiness.

Looking more closely at the article, Roy realized that it was written by a Lucy Madison. He pondered that this could very well be James' mother. With this in mind, he began to read the article.

_Fuhrer Roy Mustang is a great man. He has freed us from a leader who meant to run this country into the ground. He adopted an orphan, when all he knew was that the child needed him. And now he is helping countless families, orphans, and homeless, all without any benefit to himself. His first project was the Madison family. MY family. He protected a family who had nothing. He found James by chance and knew instinctively that he should help him. This family will be forever grateful for what he has done._

Roy turned the page, and next to the rest of the article was a picture of James with his mother and sister, sitting on a bed. It was obvious that Lucy was still unable to get up, but she was looking healthy and rosy-cheeked, though she was very thin and frail. The family looked happy, and suddenly Roy was gladder than ever that he had helped them.

_Roy Mustang, our gracious Fuhrer, has done so much. It is not common knowledge, but more than half of the money to begin Madison House came from his own savings. He cares like no government official I have ever seen. That is why, in the absence of our beloved Edward Elric, I say that Fuhrer Roy Mustang is a true "Hero of the People."_

**xXxTheRoyarcisending!xXx**

"Hawkeye, I need to leave a little early today, I have a doctor's appointment." Roy said as he entered his office. When he turned to look at her, Riza was smiling brightly at him. "What?" he asked warily.

"You're finally taking my advice. I'm glad." She murmured, handing him a pile of papers and leaving.

Roy shook his head, sighing. "I don't see why it's such a big deal. It's just a few headaches."

But she was gone, and he was left with his work.

**xXxTheRoyarcisending!xXx**

Roy sat in a sterile, white room. The last time he had been in a place like this was during the war. This occasion was much less painful.

His doctor came in, dressed in a white lab coat and looking official. He gave Roy a smile that had, perhaps, been genuine once. "I've discovered why you've been having these headaches, Fuhrer Mustang."

Roy watched him calmly, not speaking.

The doctor's smile faded a little, but he managed to keep it on. "Nothing to be worried about, Sir. You'll need reading glasses, but on you I'm sure they'll look dashing."

Roy was still calm. In the back of his mind he had been expecting something of the sort. "That's it then? I can go?" He asked, standing up.

The doctor nodded. "Just go to the pharmacy and pick up some reading glasses. I can even tell you what strength you'll need." He scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to Roy. "Have a nice day, Fuhrer Mustang."

Roy only spared him a nod as he left.

**xXxTheRoyarcisending!xXx**

"Daddy, why are we here?" Selim asked, looking curiously around the pharmacy as he followed his father.

"I have to pick something up." Roy responded, "It won't take long."

They made their way through the store until Roy found what he was looking for. The rack of reading glasses was sorted neatly, and Roy easily located the ones he needed. There were a few styles, and he tried them on, eventually deciding on a pair of thin silver frames with rectangular lenses. Selim said they looked good on him, and seeing as his son seemed to be a fashion expert, Roy had believed him. They were also the most comfortable of the ones he tried on, which was a big part of his decision. He purchased them, and they set off for home.

"Daddy, why do you need glasses?" Selim asked, tugging on Roy's arm.

Roy smiled, calming the excitable child as he explained, "I'm getting older, and my eyes don't work like they used to."

Selim made a serious face and said wisely, "I see." He then proceeded to collapse into a fit of giggles.

Roy laughed as well, swinging Selim up into his arms. "Oof." He complained, "You're heavy."

Selim's giggles grew. "You're the one that picked me up, Daddy."

Roy made a face. "You're right. Why did I do that?"

Still, he carried his son the rest of the way home.

* * *

That's it. I'm pretty sure this is the last chapter of the "Roy is super emo" arc. Let me know if there are any loose ends I didn't get tied up. I'm not in the best frame of mind right now, as you might have guessed. I'm excited though, because I'm finally going to get to write the stuff that I've been waiting months to write! Now I'm ready to read some manga and go to sleep. Thanks for reading, and as always, please review!


	20. Life's Surprises

**A/N:** This chapter is longer (2,175 words) but that's mostly because I decided to drag it out as long as possible. Fun stuff is happening, and I'm taking you all along for the ride! This was the easiest chapter I've written in forever (Since before the Roy arc) and I'm really excited to be sharing it with you! I finished this on Tuesday and so wanted to post right away, but I figured you could wait the normal amount of time, and this way I got to edit it really well, plus I posted a Death Note oneshot to appease myself (You can find it on my profile). I'm going to stop talking now, because that's not why you're here. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I can't tell the difference between my cellphone and my mouse, but I do know the difference between something I own and something I don't, and sadly, Fullmetal Alchemist is the latter.

* * *

_**Chapter 16: Life's Surprises**_

At Central Station, a young man stepped off the train. His long hair fluttered in the wind, and he pushed it behind his ears in irritation. He was near six feet tall and he wore nicely tailored clothes, though they were slightly worn, as if he'd had them for a while. There was a spot of oil on his right sleeve, and his once-fancy leather shoes were dull and scuffed, and their soles were mostly gone, as if he had done a lot of walking. A small smile crossed his face. It had been a long time, but he was finally home.

**xXxYayANewArc!xXx**

The Fuhrer of Amestris sat at his desk, going through paperwork. He sighed, rubbing his temples as he finished reading a report and signed it, putting it in the "done" pile for his assistant. He was nearly done for the day, but for the last few years he had been working longer hours because his son was old enough not to need looking after...usually. He loved Selim dearly, but even at seventeen the boy was a handful sometimes.

Roy took off his reading glasses—thin silver frames with rectangular lenses, exactly the same as his first pair—and put his head in his hands wearily. He only had two things left to sign, and then he could go home. Putting the glasses back on, he looked over the papers and quickly signed them, putting them in the pile with the rest and beginning to gather his things. His glasses were put into their case and then tucked into his pocket, and papers and other items were thrown unceremoniously into his briefcase.

Riza Hawkeye walked into the room. "Leaving already, Sir? It's barely seven o'clock yet." She asked incredulously.

He gestured tiredly to the pile of documents on his desk. "I'm finished for the day. If anyone needs me, tell them that unless it's an emergency they'll have to wait until tomorrow." With that he stood, picked up his briefcase and strode from the room. As he left, his bodyguards followed. They had been his constant companions outside his own home for nearly ten years now. There were three two-man teams that switched off eight-hour shifts, and despite having the same guards for so long, he still didn't know any of their names. Not even Hawkeye, who had personally chosen them, would give him their names.

He started his walk home, remembering sadly all the times he had walked this same path with his son. As he stopped at their favorite bakery he remembered the old man who had owned it all those years ago. About two years into Roy's reign as Fuhrer, the gentleman had had a heart attack and died. His son had inherited it, and now the shop had been in their family for four generations. Roy remembered how he had met James Madison outside this very shop, and how the ten year old boy had inspired him to open charity houses throughout the country, using a large portion of his savings to sponsor the endeavor.

James was now twenty, and he had made a name for himself first as a journalist for a prestigious newspaper, and then in starting his own newspaper, with himself as editor-in-chief. He had come a long way since the time Roy had given him money to buy medicine for his mother and food for his family.

**xXxYayANewArc!xXx**

"Excuse me, do you know where Roy Mustang works now?" A young man asked, leaning casually on the reception desk of Central's military headquarters.

The receptionist snorted. "Have you been in Xing for the last ten years or something? How can you not know _Roy Mustang's_ rank?"

He glared at her. "Actually, I've been dead for ten years. Now care to tell me where he is?"

She looked at him oddly. "No, I don't think I will. Besides, he already left."

He scowled. "Fine, whatever, I'll just go find him myself. Bastard better live in the same the place he always has." He started to turn away when a very familiar voice spoke from behind him.

"Is there a problem here?" Riza Hawkeye asked, looking critically at the receptionist and barely glancing at the man standing with his back to her.

"No." The young woman stuttered, "No, of course not, Fuhrer's secretary Hawkeye. I've got everything under control. He was just leaving."

Hawkeye glared at the receptionist. She had never liked this one and she had been meaning to fire her. Turning to the young man, she asked, "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I was..." He faltered. "I'm looking for Roy Mustang. I used to be a friend of his."

Hawkeye hesitated, shooting a glare at the receptionist as she started to speak, and finally said, "I'm afraid he already left for the day. If you could come back tomorrow..."

He shook his head. He still hadn't turned to face her. "I can't wait that long. I'm sure he'll want to see me."

She sighed, wondering what to do. "He won't be home yet, or I would call him for you. You're sure you can't just come back tomorrow?"

Finally he turned to face her, and she was frozen in shock. He flashed her a rare smile. "I'm really sure that I _have _to see him tonight. It's been a long time, Hawkeye."

Recovering, she smiled back at him. "For you, I think I can arrange something. You know where he lives?"

He seemed surprised. "He's still in that crappy old house?"

She laughed. The receptionist passed out. "Yes, he still lives there. He says it has a lot of memories that he just can't let go."

He chuckled a little. "Strangely enough, that sounds like him. I'm glad he kept the old place though. He's not the only one with a lot of memories there." The receptionist had just recovered. She fainted again. They both ignored her. "I better get going if I'm going to catch him. I'll see you soon, Hawkeye."

She smiled and nodded. "Oh, watch out for the bodyguards. They can be pretty nasty." She hugged him. "Take care of yourself, kid."

He smirked as he hugged her back. "Not really a kid anymore." He answered, "But thanks. I'll come see everyone else soon."

It was only after he had already left that Hawkeye's "bodyguard" comment registered in his brain. _'What the hell does that mean?' _ He wondered. _'And why did that receptionist think I was so ignorant? What's going on around here?'_

**xXxYayANewArc!xXx**

Roy had taken longer than usual picking out a loaf of bread for dinner. For some reason he was stuck in memories today. He had noticed some fresh gingerbread in one of the display cases and was taken back to James' tenth birthday, when he'd gotten the boy some of that same gingerbread to share with his family. The old shopkeeper had insisted on giving it to him for free, pointing out that if Roy could give James all the things he had—money, new clothes—then surely the baker could give a little as well.

Roy sighed as he paid the thirty-something man that was now running the bakery. The bread was the same as it had been since Roy had started coming here, but the atmosphere wasn't the same. This shopkeeper never had a smile on his face. He wasn't happy to see the customers, and because of it business was slowly dwindling. Roy wondered how long it would be until he was forced to close.

Finally exiting the shop, Roy noted absently that his bodyguards were looking very irritated. _'Probably because I'm not paying attention to anything, and that makes me more vulnerable to potential assassins.' _ He thought. As if proving his point, someone suddenly swooped down on him from the roof of the bakery. As shoes landed on the pavement, strong hands came to rest on his shoulders from behind. He knew he was in danger, but for some reason he felt perfectly safe.

His bodyguards seemed shocked, and they actually hesitated before drawing their guns. _'What is wrong with them?'_ Roy wondered. In all their years of service, they had never once failed to protect him when his life was in danger. Exasperated, Roy started to turn toward his attacker with the intention to fry him with alchemy, but a voice that he knew far too well but that belonged to someone who couldn't possibly be there stopped him. "Hawkeye told me I should be worried about you guys, but you don't seem that dangerous to me." It wasn't quite the same as the one Roy knew. It was older, more mature, and it was deeper. Instead of the tenor voice of a seventeen year old that he remembered, it was a rich baritone. He nearly fainted.

For some reason, at the mention of Hawkeye's name his guards put away their guns. Roy wanted to scream at them for being so stupid. Just because this guy _said_ that he had spoken to Hawkeye didn't necessarily mean that he _had_. Growling angrily, he finally turned to take care of it himself. But as soon as he could see his attacker's face, he stopped dead. Because this wasn't possible. He had never admitted to himself that this boy—man—had died, but there was no way he could have come back.

Roy stood staring for long moments. He couldn't think. There was a mantra in his head telling him that this was only a dream, and he should pinch himself and wake up before it became a nightmare. He couldn't bear losing him again. He couldn't stand this.

**xXxYayANewArc!xXx**

A young man stood looking at Fuhrer Roy Mustang, hands rested lightly on the older man's shoulders. He was about six feet tall, with blond hair tied in a braid that fell down to his waist. He wore finely tailored clothes, although they were slightly worn because he'd had them for a while. There was an oil stain on his right sleeve and his once-nice leather shoes were scuffed and the soles were worn down, for he had been walking a lot. A smile crossed his face, and it was just for the man in front of him. "It's been a long time, Roy, but I'm finally home."

Roy stared at him for a long while, as if unsure he was really who he looked like, or what to say to him. His face showed confusion, disbelief, and pain, but underneath those feelings, where only those who knew him the very best could see it, was hope. He wanted to believe that the person he was seeing was really in front of him. He wanted to believe that the thing he longed for most in the world had actually happened. He wanted to believe that maybe he really could have a happily ever after. But it was also evident in his eyes that it was very hard for him to believe these things, because he had spent ten years convincing himself that he would be alright without them.

**xXxYayANewArc!xXx**

After everything that had happened to him, Roy had been forced to lock the things that would hurt him deep inside his mind where they would only be let out when he could afford to cry. He had lost the only person that he had ever truly loved, and in order to cope, instead of moving on, he had built a wall in his mind around the memories of that boy, and only let them escape when he was alone, when nothing could hurt him worse than he'd already been hurt. Throughout the years the dwindling hope he'd had that someday that person he loved would return to him had almost completely dissipated. It was nearly more than he could handle, seeing this face in front of him now.

It was a physical pain in his heart, and his only wish at that moment was for it to go away, for this impostor to stop pretending that he was someone that Roy loved and to stop tormenting him. He wanted to go home to Selim, because he knew that Selim was alive, was real, was his son. He dearly wanted to return to where it was safe, where his heart couldn't break anymore, but as soon as this man spoke, he knew all was lost, because at that moment his heart shattered into a million pieces.

"It's been a long time, Roy, but I'm finally home." Though those words broke Roy's heart in a way that normally would be irreparable, at the same time they started healing that damage. He could hardly believe what was happening to him, but Roy couldn't deny it anymore. He had no want to deny it anymore. He took a deep breath, and he spoke a name he'd thought he would never say again.

"Edward?"

* * *

Was that confusing? Is it really Edward? Stay tuned to find out!

Seriously though, how many of you guessed who it was in the first paragraph? I gave you some pretty big hints, while still trying to make it seem like it could be several people. Do you know which people I was thinking it could be, besides the obvious? Give me your ideas. I'd love to hear from you. Now I have to go, because I have rehearsals all afternoon and a concert tonight. Thanks for reading and please review!


	21. Alone For Ten Years

**A/N:** This chapter is 2,286 words, and I'm not as happy with it as I could be, but it was time. I've been planning and writing all week, and for better or for worse, this is the end result. I think mostly I have trouble writing scenes where people talk a lot, which is most of this chapter. I hope you enjoy it anyway, as usual I'll be posting again next Saturday.

**Disclaimer:** Have you _seen_ what I've done to these characters? Does it _look_ like I own them? Honestly, read the chapter, they don't even sound like themselves!

* * *

_**Chapter 17: Alone For Ten Years**_

"Edward?" Roy whispered brokenly, staring at this grown man who looked so like the young alchemist he had once known. He could hardly believe what he was seeing, but at the same time he wanted to believe it more than anything. That was when he realized: both the hands resting casually on his shoulders were made of flesh. "No..." He murmured in shock, willing it not to be true. "You're not...why are you doing this to me? How could you make me think that my Edward was back, even for a moment? I can't...."

The man...no, the impostor, gripped his shoulders a little more firmly. "Roy, it's me, really."

"I don't believe you. My Edward has an automail arm. **My** Edward is shorter than me, and fits perfectly in my arms." Roy whispered, looking at this creature, whoever he was, that was causing him so much pain.

"Roy, it's been ten years. You can't honestly believe that I'm the same as I was then. When I went through the gate I left the automail behind, remember? Al told me. I was given my limbs back, a blessing I was sure boded badly for my brother, and without the extra weight to hold me down I grew. You can't honestly believe that I'm not real, not your Edward." Ed whispered to him, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Prove to me that you are who you say you are. Please...." Roy pleaded, clutching the front of the man's shirt desperately.

Ed's eyes filled with despair. "Roy, what has happened to you? I...is it my fault? I wish I hadn't had to leave, Roy, but it was the only way. You know that better than anyone. Not a day went by that I didn't regret leaving you, that I didn't wish that I could be in your arms. But you have to believe me, I never stopped looking for ways to come back to you. I love you, more than my own life." Tears were gathering in Ed's eyes, and his voice had become too choked with emotion to speak.

Roy looked him gently in the eyes—which were now level with his own—and told him, "If you're really my Edward, then you'll know the answer to this question: How many?" To most this question would have seemed unanswerable. He had not specified how many of what, and yet Ed's eyes alighted with understanding.

Tears—for himself, but also for the pain that Roy had suffered through for many years—poured down Edward's cheeks as he answered. "Three thousand two hundred and eighty-nine." His words were the faintest whisper against Roy's cheek, meant for him alone. His breath played against the older man's ear and his teary eyelashes brushed pale flesh as he blinked rapidly, willing the tears away while at the same time, feeling that they needed to stay, for all they had been through. This was their secret.

The number that Ed had spoken so sadly was, perhaps, one of the biggest secrets they shared, though there was not a huge reason for it to be secret besides the fact that Roy did not like talking about it, but Ed was the only one he had shared it with, and probably would always be. It had been a show of trust and unconditional love unspoken for both of them when Roy had shared his broken story. Now, years after that tear-filled night, the number was all that they needed to share, and both were instantly brought back to the past.

**xXxWhatHaveIDone?xXx**

_Ed woke to clicking noises. It was well past midnight, and his sleep-fogged mind took a while to register what it was he was hearing. Turning to his lover (Who had been spooned around him when they fell asleep) Ed saw the way pain and grief contorted the older man's face. Roy was snapping, over and over again as tears ran down his face. "Why?" He murmured brokenly, "Why?"_

_Edward stilled those formidable hands, though he had nothing to fear as long as the older man was not wearing his gloves. He wrapped his small arms—one flesh, one metal—around his lover and kissed away the tears. Roy's eyes fluttered slowly open, and he relaxed as he saw that he was with Edward, that it had only been another nightmare. _

_"Roy," Ed whispered gently, "What was it this time?" In the past, Roy had had dreams about a number of things, the most common being his murdering the Rockbells. This was one Edward had not witnessed before, and he longed to take the burden from Roy's shoulders as he had done with all the __others, and as Roy had done for him countless times.  
_

_Roy only shook his head. "This one is mine to bear." He answered finally. "You would...you would not be able to handle it, and...."_

_Ed stroked his lover's back encouragingly, nodding for him to continue. Normally he would comment on what Roy thought he could handle, but there were more important things to be said at the moment._

_A deep breath, and Roy managed to continue. "And you would leave me if you knew. If you could comprehend the things I've done. I'm not as good a man as you imagine me to be, Edward."_

_Edward shook his head, kissing his lover softly. "I agreed to this relationship knowing that we both entered it with baggage, things we can't take back. You're not the only one who has done unforgivable things, Roy. Don't think that I'll leave you for something like that."_

_More tears ran down Roy's face at this sentiment. He longed to share this with Edward, more than he had longed for anything in the world, and before he knew it words were spilling out of his mouth. "Three thousand two hundred and eighty-nine." He wept, "Women and children, the elderly, everyone. I killed them all."_

_Edward did not understand, but he knew that he would soon enough. When Roy got in this state, Ed could do nothing except listen intently until he was finished._

_"I was sent to raze an entire Ishballan city. I was given a red stone to enhance my power, and at the time I was just an obedient soldier, so I went." He reached up and ran a hand through his hair, something he did when he was upset. "I _heard_ each individual scream. I _felt_ as each person died, consumed by fire with no escape. That assignment was what started me on the path to becoming Fuhrer. I _have_ to make it, because I can't let anyone feel what I felt, ever again. No one should have to suffer through that, whether they're on our side or someone else's."_

_Ed waited a while, holding Roy close as they both wept for the lives lost on that day so many years before, and for the pain and suffering that Roy had been through since because of it. Finally, when it seemed that no more words were forthcoming, he whispered to his lover in a voice thick with sorrow. "I don't love you any less for this, Roy. You did it under orders and at that point you hadn't yet learned to defy orders the way you sometimes do now. I don't blame you for it, and you shouldn't blame yourself, though that can't take the pain away."_

_They fell asleep in each other's arms, and stayed entwined until the alarm went off the next morning._

**xXxWhatHaveIDone?xXx**

Ed's arms wrapped around his shoulders as his own wrapped around the younger man's waist. The kiss they shared was deep and passionate, filled with the love that they shared and the loneliness they had felt being apart for ten years. After everything that had happened there was no way that their relationship could remain the same as it had been, but they had both changed and matured, and though they might have to work through some issues...eventually things between them would be far better than they had ever been before.

As they ended the kiss and pulled apart a little, Ed chuckled. "You're so predictable. All these years and you still go to the same bakery every day after work?"

Roy smiled at him. "They have the best baked goods in town, why would I go anywhere else?"

"You're right," He conceded, "They do have the best bread in town. Besides, my dramatic entrance wouldn't have been nearly as amazing if I hadn't gotten to jump off the building."

Roy squeezed his lover gently. "It's good to have you back. Everyone thought you were gone for good."

Edward smirked at him. "What about you?"

Roy shook his head sadly. "I always hoped, but lately I'd been starting to wonder. Ten years is a long time to be alone, Edward."

Ed sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm glad that you at least kept hoping for me. It's more than I can say for Al. It's really creepy to go visit your own grave, you know?"

"I'm afraid I don't. My grave hasn't been dug yet." Roy replied, finally releasing Edward and instead taking his hand as they started to walk toward his house.

Ed laughed. Though it was different in his matured voice, if anything Roy found it more lovely and endearing than it had been when Ed was seventeen. "When I got back it was pretty shocking to find out that my brother had given up on me so easily, but he still loves me, and I guess that's the important part. He's married now, and he has a son. Did you know they named the kid after me?"

Roy smiled. "Yes, I did. I've been corresponding with Alphonse and Winry, making sure they're doing alright. It sounds like Eddie has some considerable alchemic ability, and he looks just like you at that age."

"Yeah, and that's what I'm afraid of. What if he ends up like me?" Edward pondered, shaking his head sadly.

"He has a father and mother who are both healthy and love him very much. They wouldn't leave him for anything, especially not after what happened to you and Al." Roy said, squeezing his lover's hand gently. It felt good to be with him again, and he hoped that it would never stop.

"You're right. I'm worrying too much, aren't I? I guess all that's happened to me has made me kind of paranoid." Ed squeezed back, weaving his fingers together with Roy's.

Roy smiled at the action and answered, "Right now you don't have to worry about anything. If there's a problem, that's what my bodyguards are for."

Ed's eyes narrowed as he remembered Roy's silent shadows. "Why do you _have_ bodyguards, anyway? You're the most formidable alchemist in Amestris."

"When I'm in a crowd composed mostly of innocents it's difficult to attack only those who mean me harm. Besides, Hawkeye has this notion that the Fuhrer needs bodyguards. I decided not to argue." Roy told him, frowning at the fact that he couldn't protect himself properly.

Ed's frown mirrored Roy's but for different reasons. "What does the Fuhrer have to do with..." He trailed off, suddenly finding himself very stupid, and understanding everything all at once. "You made it? That's great, Roy! When?"

"Around a month after you disappeared." Roy answered, looking very depressed. "We took over Central by force, and the rest of Amestris was quick to follow when I shared the truth about their fuhrer. I killed Bradley, and then I helped out at Hawkeye's base—a hospital—for hours. I was alternately injuring people and then healing them. So many burn victims...." He stopped, looking regretful. "Sorry, I don't like to talk about the war. Too many bad memories, you know?"

Ed nodded in understanding. "I know. Death just sort of follows us around, doesn't it?" He asked, giving a weak smile.

Roy sighed. "Unfortunately." He looked up as they approached his house and walked through the front gate. "People think it's ridiculous that their Fuhrer lives in such a tiny house, but at the same time it seems to help them relate to me."

"Then it's a good thing. Besides, I would hate you if you had gotten rid of this house, Bastard Fuhrer." He smiled playfully at Roy as the older man unlocked the door.

Roy's replying smile was genuine. "I love you too, Edward."

As they entered the house, wondrous scents assaulted their noses. "Roy, did you get a chef?" Ed asked in wonder, inhaling the smells of cooking food.

A knowing smirk flitted across Roy's face. "After a fashion." He replied. "Hey Selim, I'm home!" He called, taking off his shoes and uniform jacket.

A dark head poked out of the kitchen, a smile on perfect lips. "Welcome home. Who's this?" The man—boy—that was speaking turned to Edward.

Roy smiled lovingly at the teen. "This is Edward. Ed, meet Selim."

It turned out that the head was connected to a body, which emerged from the kitchen wearing a dark blue apron and wiping its hands on a dish towel. Selim threw the towel over his shoulder and held out a hand for Ed to shake, saying, "It's nice to meet you. Welcome to our humble abode."

Edward didn't take the hand offered him. His fists were clenched and shaking at his sides, and he turned to Roy with pain and fury in his eyes. "Alone for ten years my ass! You replaced me?"

* * *

How messed up was that? Sounds like there's going to be a pretty big fight between our newly-reunited lovers in the next chapter! I am having way too much fun with this, really I am. If you review I'll give you virtual bread from the amazing bakery and some of Selim's cooking. Isn't your mouth just watering? Review!


	22. Many Different Kinds Of Hurt

**A/N:** Sorry this is so late, I was out of town all day. I've actually had this chapter done for a while, and I'm like half way through the next one. From now on updates should work out better, and there's a possibility that I'll switch to updating on Friday instead of Saturday for scheduling reasons. I haven't decided for sure yet, I'll let you know when I do. This chapter is kind of short (1,702 words) but it's got some plot development in it. It's really late and I just proof-read it, so sorry if there are some mistakes. I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **Gah, too tired to think up witty remark. I can tell the difference between my bag and my sister's identical one, so obviously I can tell whether I own Fullmetal Alchemist or not, and apparently I don't. Go figure.

* * *

_**Chapter 18: Many Different Kinds Of Hurt**_

"Alone for ten years my ass! You replaced me?" It was obvious that Ed was angry, but Roy could tell that mostly he was hurt. "I know it was a long time to be apart, and part of me didn't expect you to wait up for someone who could have been dead for all you knew, but this? He can't be more than seventeen! At least when you were with me there wasn't such a huge age gap, now you're practically an old man! This is unacceptable!" The blonde's fist were still clenched tightly at his sides, which was admirable, considering how much he really wanted to punch Roy at that moment. He could forgive the older man for moving on, but surely he had taken away this boy's childhood.

Selim looked like he did not understand what was going on, and seemed to decide that whatever it was Roy could handle it, so he disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Ed, please," Roy begged, "I can explain everything." He looked imploringly at Edward, and the blond just couldn't say no.

"You have thirty seconds." He ordered, glaring at the older man unhappily, ready for whatever excuses or lies he came up with. If he were to honestly admit it to himself though, he didn't really believe that anything Roy told him would be a lie. Even if they had been apart for ten years, Roy still respected him more than that, and they had built a bond of trust all those years ago that wouldn't break just because Roy wanted to get away with this.

"He's my son." Roy said, honesty in his eyes and pleading for Ed to believe him in his body language. He was ten seconds from throwing himself at the younger man's feet and begging for forgiveness for something he hadn't even done.

"Impossible." Ed scoffed, not even giving it a second thought. He'd only left ten years before and this boy was clearly older than that. Perhaps he had been wrong about Roy lying to him to get what he wanted after all. Bring Ed back as his lover and keep the teen on the side as well. Wouldn't that just be convenient?

"It's true, I can show you his birth records if you want. He's the son of a one night stand from nearly seven years before we got together. She didn't even tell me about him, she just put him up for adoption. His last name was Bradley until he was almost eight." Roy explained, tears nearly coming to his eyes in his desperation.

Ed stood in shock for several moments. "You're telling me that this is Fuhrer Bradley's son?" He asked, astonishment coating his every word.

Roy nodded enthusiastically. "Technically my son, but Bradley adopted him when he was born and it was kept very quiet. He saved my life when I was fighting the fuhrer, and when both his parents were dead, I took him in out of guilt and pity. It was only after I adopted him that I realized that he was my son. He's the reason I didn't give up and commit suicide years ago."

Edward's eyes filled with tears, and he cursed himself inwardly for being so weak. "I'm sorry Roy, I guess I'm still letting my temper get the better of me. I thought I'd worked through my anger management problems years ago, but apparently there's still something to be desired." He apologized, taking his lover's hand.

Roy smiled at him and pulled him in for an embrace. "It's alright, Ed. I would probably have done the same thing in your place. No one's scarred for life, so no harm no foul."

A voice came from behind Roy. "Speaking of people being scarred for life, care to _properly_ introduce your friend now, Dad?" Selim was leaning against the frame of the kitchen door holding a ladle and looking very amused.

Roy laughed as Edward blushed. Leaning in towards the younger man's ear, he murmured, "He knows I like men. Or you, at least. It was pretty funny how he found out, I'll have to tell you the story sometime."

**xXxI'mSoTired!xXx**

_"Dad," A fourteen-year-old Selim said one night as they were eating dinner. "I know you're very serious about your job and taking care of me, but I'm old enough to take care of myself now for the most part, so why don't you start dating again?"_

_Roy spluttered for a moment before spouting, "I already have a lover."_

_Selim looked at him incredulously. "Then why haven't I met her?"_

_Roy sighed, remembering his lover with a dejected expression on his face. "He's very far away right now, and I'm not sure if I'll ever see him again."_

_"He?" Selim asked, and immediately Roy knew he had said too much. "Dad, you're a homosexual?"_

_"Well," Roy grasped at anything he could say to save the situation here. "I'm not...I mean I...."_

_"It's alright Dad, really. Liking men is nothing to be ashamed of." Selim said, smiling comfortingly at his father. Roy was not comforted._

_"Well...actually I'm bisexual. But we'll talk about that later, when we're not eating." Roy told him, hoping to end the conversation._

_Selim smiled even wider at him, but let the subject drop._

**xXxI'mSoTired!xXx**

"Selim, this is Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People and all that. But most importantly, he's my lover." Roy smirked as he introduced Edward to his son properly. Turning to Ed he asked, "Did I miss any titles?"

Ed smirked right back at him. "How about Doctor of Physics and Engineering and inventor of the best fuel-powered rocket Europe had ever seen?"

"Huh?" Roy intoned in absolute confusion. It sounded like those things were rather important, but he had no idea what they meant.

"Obviously I had to have been doing _something_ while I was away. I picked up a few degrees and some other interesting titles. I'll have to list them all for you sometime."

Roy nodded, understanding a little, though he was still somewhat confused. "Right. Anyway...Ed, this is my son, Selim Mustang. He lacks titles of any sort, being so young and all." He chuckled at this.

Ed snickered a little as well. "You know Selim, I had several titles by the time I was your age." He said very maturely, promptly dissolving into giggles at Roy's side.

Selim glared at them both, brandishing his ladle. "Sometimes I wonder who the adult is around here. Honestly Father, you're being ridiculous. There isn't anything even vaguely funny about any of that."

Roy sighed, straightening and wiping his eyes. "Perhaps you had to be there."

Selim sighed in exasperation. "I was there. I found nothing hilarious about your stupid jokes. Are you drunk?"

Roy leveled a steady glare at him. "Most decidedly not." He answered. "Now, you'd best go finish dinner, or it's going to burn." As his son disappeared into the kitchen again, Roy looked around for the loaf of bread he had bought on the way home. Ed snickered at him, realizing what he was looking for, and stepped outside. When he came back, he was holding the bread and grinning widely at Roy.

"The bodyguard thought you might want this. Nice guy." He commented, handing it off to Roy. It just showed that he was very disoriented by Ed's return if his bodyguard had to pick up things that he dropped. He instinctively stuck his hand into his pocket to make sure its contents were still there. The cold metal inside was reassuring, and he turned again to Edward.

"So," The older man sighed, "Care to tell me how you got back in the first place?"

Ed looked a little sad at the thought, but nodded and allowed Roy to pull him into the sitting room. They sat together on the couch, leaning against each other with arms around shoulders and legs tangled. It took no effort to return to their old ways, which both took as a good sign. "It was my Dad." Ed began dejectedly.

"Your father...?" Roy started, not sure what he planned to ask, but feeling the need to anyway.

Ed seemed to understand, and he answered, "Yeah, dear old Dad, as a last favor to me did what I did for Al."

"So Hohenheim is...?"

"On the other side of the gate," Ed confirmed. "And most likely dead."

"What?" Roy seemed shocked at this revelation. He had thought that Hohenheim would just be stuck like Ed had been.

"He was dying already. The gate let him come to me between the worlds and explain, so that I wouldn't panic. Even if I could get him back at this point, all I would get is a body. I guess if it had to be the last thing he ever did, it was definitely a nice thing to do for me. One of the few decent things he's done." Edward shivered, snuggling closer to Roy. The older man just held him close, knowing he needed comfort even if he couldn't stand to ask for it right then.

"It's just hard knowing that I won't see him again, even if I hated him. At least knowing he existed and he'd left us was better than this, when the last thing he ever did was bring me back to everyone who loves me. Now I just miss him."

Roy laid his head against Edward's. "I know what it's like to miss your parents, Ed, and I know it's especially hard at first. But eventually you just start remembering all the good things about them, and you hold onto those memories for the rest of your life. The pain will seem intense in the beginning, but after a few years it dulls, and you can think about them without crying. But you know all this already, don't you?"

Ed nodded wordlessly, content just to let Roy hold him.

* * *

That's it, I'm done, I'm going to bed. I was actually starting to fall asleep when I realized I hadn't updated yet. I'm exhausted and I have to get up in the morning. Please review, I'll really love those of you who were just about to go to bed when you saw that I'd updated. Let me know if you were, and maybe I'll write you a one-shot or something.


	23. I Still Love You

**A/N:** First off, I want to thank everyone who has added this story as a favorite or an alert. I currently have 8 favs and 17 alerts, that's amazing guys! Also, as of posting this chapter I have 74 reviews. That's more than all my other stories combined! Arigato Gozaimasu!

The next order of business is: Is there anyone who reads this who has some artistic talent and would draw Roy with his glasses and time skip Ed for me? If you do, I'll write a one-shot or bonus chapter of your choice. I would draw them myself, but I fail at all things art.

The last thing: I'm sorry in advance for the shortness and crappiness of this chapter. I've been homeschooling my younger brother, doing my homework, and doing a million other things that I don't really need to get into now. I would have taken a few hours today to make it longer/better but I have this really important date with my boyfriend tonight and I don't have time. I'm sorry!

**Disclaimer:** I'm more worried about a date with my boyfriend than I am about whether or not I own Fullmetal Alchemist, because the fact is that a Japanese person named Hiromu Arakawa owns it, and I am neither Japanese nor am I Hiromu Arakawa.

* * *

_**Chapter 19: I Still Love You**_

Dinner was amazing, and Ed found himself joking and laughing with the other two, his pain forgotten for a time. He was becoming very fond of Selim, and he could tell Roy was happy that they were getting along so well.

"That's how I ended up with Selim here. He's been a blessing to me all these years." Roy finished recounting his story of how he'd found and adopted Selim. Ed was glad that despite being apart for so many years, he and Roy were just as close as they had been when he left. They had scooted their chairs as close together as they would get, and every time either of them moved their shoulders would brush. It made them both incredibly happy.

They finished dinner, and Roy and Ed both offered to do the dishes at the same time. Selim, seeing that they would like to spend some time alone, tactfully took his leave. It was decided that Ed would wash and Roy would dry, and as they worked they talked about things that had happened since they'd been apart.

Roy was just finishing the story of how he had met James Madison when something wet hit his cheek. He lift a hand to wipe it away, and found soap suds. He looked at Ed, who seemed very focused on his task but was trying not to smile. Roy threw a spoon at him. Ed dodged and it landed in the soapy water. "I just washed that!" He complained, glaring at his lover.

Roy smirked at him, wiping his hands on the dish towel. "You missed a spot." He said cheekily, trying to goad a response out of Ed.

"Bastard." The blond muttered, turning back to his work. "There was nothing wrong with that spoon. If I'm good for nothing else, I can wash dishes properly."

Roy was surprised at this response. He looked at Ed in shock for a few more moments, and when it seemed there was going to be nothing further from him, turned back to his own task.

Several minutes later, something wet hit Roy's cheek. "That's it, now it's war." He growled, sticking his own hand in the suds.

Needless to say, it took them far longer than it should have to finish the dishes, and when they did, they were both rather damp.

Roy looked Ed over and asked, "Care for a shower?"

Ed smirked at him.

**xXxBeginEdwardFlashbackArc!xXx**

"So, you should list off all those titles of yours for me." Roy said later, after they'd both had a shower and were dressed for bed.

Ed chuckled. "It might take a while. There are a lot of them." He pulled Roy down to sit on the bed with him, wrapping his arms around the older man.

"I don't care. We have forever to be together and tell each other stories now." Roy smiled, kissing Ed gently.

His words made Ed grin, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Forever. Neither of us is going to do something stupid like that again."

"It wasn't stupid, Ed, it was honorable. You sacrificed your own health and happiness for your brother's. Everyone was sad when you disappeared, but those who knew what you'd done loved you even more for it." Roy told him, resting his dark head on the younger man's shoulder.

Ed stroked Roy's hair as he considered this. "I suppose you're right, but I still think it was stupid to do anything that would take this away." He waved his free hand to encompass their relationship, the house, everything.

Roy nodded in agreement. "That's true, but perhaps in the end our separation was a good thing, since we seem to have come to love each other more."

Ed smiled, nuzzling Roy's ear gently with his nose. "I definitely love you more than I did before. I'm so thankful that I finally got you back."

"I'm thankful that I got you back. But now, titles." Roy demanded, poking Ed in the side.

Ed laughed and pulled Roy to lay down on the bed while he began. "Perhaps I should start at the beginning, so that you can fully understand all my wonderful titles."

**xXxBeginEdwardFlashbackArc!xXx**

_The last thing I remember is a flash of white light, and then the next thing I knew I was waking up in an unfamiliar place. I thought for a moment that the transmutation hadn't worked, and automatically started hypothesizing and trying to find a way to fix it. But it became evident pretty quickly that I wasn't in Central anymore. All the streets in this place were cobble-stones, and I had woken up in an alley. The creepiest part, though, was that I was standing over myself looking worried. Or rather, someone who looked very much like me was standing over me looking worried._

_"Are you alright?" The other Ed asked, seeing that I had woken. It was very strange to be looking at myself without the assistance of a mirror. His question made me wonder, for just a moment, whether I was alright or not, and I quickly did a personal scan to confirm my condition. It was then that I realized...my arm and leg were flesh, and not automail._

_Turning to the other me, I answered, "Better than I expected to be, honestly," and asked him politely—or as politely as I could considering I was pretty sure now that something had gone wrong with the transmutation—who he was, and where I was._

_"I'm Edward Elric, and you're in London, England. Who are you, by the way?" The other Ed answered, which just served to confuse me even further._

_"England?" I murmured, processing the information and coming up blank. I realized belatedly that this other Ed had asked me a question and turned to him with confusion on my face, I'm sure. "I'm Edward Elric, and I don't think I belong here."_

_

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_

This sucked, didn't it? Feel free to write me an angry review and tell me so. I have to go shower now.


	24. A Whole New World

**A/N:** I'm ashamed of myself because this is so short. I got sick though, and so these last few days when I was trying to finish up the chapter all I could think about was that I wanted to go to bed. This is my best effort for now, and next week's chapter will be improved (I said that last week) and on time or possibly really early. I'm working at this knitting retreat thing and it's supposed to run most of the day all weekend. I will get it out on time, it will probably be really early Saturday morning. Have fun with the beginning of the Ed arc!

**Disclaimer:** Too sick to come up with anything clever. Don't own, probably never will.

* * *

_**Chapter 20: A Whole New World (Or: "Never Let Me Name Things When I'm Sick")**_

"I'm Edward Elric, and I don't think I belong here." I murmured to the astounded man in front of me as I sat up. We really did look almost identical.

"That can't be." He whispered, looking into my golden eyes with his own. "You must have hit your head."

I laughed then, a sound that didn't sound at all like me for some reason, and I realized that it was because it was the laugh of a man who had just lost everything important to him. As far as I was concerned I had nothing left to live for. Somehow I had ended up in this place, which I knew instinctively must be the other side of the gate, and I had no way of getting back. Even if I was able to use alchemy, there was no guarantee that the gate would allow me to go home. My laugh was the laugh of a condemned man, and there was no true mirth in it.

I laughed for several minutes, and when I noticed my companion looking noticeably uncomfortable, I managed to quell my chuckles. "I'm sorry." I apologized, "But I am most definitely Edward Elric, and I have not hit my head. I just happen to be from another world."

Of course, my words only managed to make him more uncomfortable and more confused. It looked as though he couldn't decide quite what to make of me and was contemplating just walking away and pretending he had never met me. Let the next poor sod who came along deal with the crazy man who claimed he was from another world. Honestly I didn't blame him. I would think I was crazy too, were I in his position.

Finally, apparently figuring it was his responsibility to look after me since he had found me first, he responded, "Perhaps you should come with me. You can tell me more about this 'other world' on the way." He helped me up and started leading me out of the alley and into a quiet street. It seemed I had managed to end up in a residential area instead of, for instance, the middle of a marketplace or some such.

I followed him, though my response to his suggestion that I tell him more about my world was to reply, rather snobbishly, "You wouldn't understand it. There are too many differences from this world." And to toss my braid over my shoulder.

He laughed a little at the gesture, and I wondered what he thought was so incredibly funny. He answered my question almost immediately though, by saying, "Most men don't have such long hair, you are aware of that, right?" And raising an eyebrow at me.

I glared at him and responded, "I'm aware of that. I, however, like to keep my hair long. As long as I'm not inconveniencing anyone but myself I don't see that there is a problem with it."

He looked at me askance and told me quietly, "There is no problem, as long as you don't mind people thinking you're a ponce."

I shook my head. "A what?" I asked, my glare on his back intensifying. I didn't know what a ponce was but it sounded like an insult to me.

He laughed at me again, which I was starting to find very irritating. It wasn't my fault that I had no knowledge of this world and their strange ways of speaking. "You don't know what a ponce is? You know, a gay? A homosexual?"

My eyes widened a fraction, but I managed not to respond other than that and saying, "So you think people are going to assume I'm gay just because I have long hair?"

He nodded, turning to look at me for a moment, and I realized that this conversation would be much easier to have were I standing next to him rather than behind, so I quickened my pace to match his. "Unless you're some sort of street performer or gypsy, yes. You're not a gypsy, are you?"

I shook my head, and some of my bangs landed in my face. I brushed them away irritably. "I'm not a gypsy, whatever that is. I'm an alchemist."

Another laugh, and this time I seriously considered punching him. "You don't know what a gypsy is, but you insist you're not one, and then you tell me something absurd about being an alchemist? That branch of Science has been out of use for decades."

"In my world it's the primary form of Science, thank you very much. It takes a really gifted person to be an alchemist, and I happen to be one of the best." I puffed up my chest haughtily, but he took no notice. He was rather busy leading me down a side street and into the back door of a run-down brick building with ivy climbing the walls.

"This," He told me proudly as he opened the door, "Is Science."

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Done. Complain all you want about the short/crappy aspects of my horrible chapter. I shouldn't be allowed to write. Please review anyway, even if it's to tell me off.


	25. Rocket Fuel and Strangers' Apartments

**A/N:** I cannot believe how long it has been since I last posted. Not only that, but this chapter is so pathetic that I almost want to shoot myself for it. Finishing has given me some insight though. If anyone has read my most recent LJ post, please disregard it because I have changed my mind. I'll write another amending things after I've posted this. _**I am officially going on hiatus!**_ I just don't have the passion for this story right now and you guys don't deserve to get second-rate chapters because of that. If you want a full-blown list of excuses and apologies, check out my LJ. Thank you all for reading and reviewing what I have written, and I hope that if I ever find the passion for writing again you will return.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist I wouldn't be allowed to stop in the middle of a story like this.

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_**Chapter 21: Rocket Fuel and Strangers' Apartments**_

"This is Science." I was about to object to his words, but at that moment he threw the door open and it revealed a laboratory more elaborate and with more equipment than I had ever seen before. My eyes widened as I entered.

"How did you afford this equipment?" I asked in awe. "I've only seen things of this quality in the labs at Central Headquarters!"

He smirked at me, closing the door and leaning against it. "Government grants, mostly. The older pieces I bought myself though." He pushed off from the door and came over to where I was reverently fingering test tubes and beakers. He selected a vial and held it up to the light. "This is one of my latest experiments. I'm trying to find a better formula for rocket fuel."

I raised an eyebrow at him and then returned my gaze to the liquid in the test tube. "Rocket fuel? What is that?"

He sighed exasperatedly and murmured, "You're taking this 'different world' thing a bit far. I don't think there is a single person in England who does not know what rocket fuel is."

I shook my head. "I'm not from England. Now what is rocket fuel?"

His explanation was long, and I won't repeat it all right now. Perhaps in the future. Somehow, during his lecture, I found myself sitting down on a lab stool, still listening intently but incredibly tired from standing for such a time. He seemed to just keep going, though. Maybe I was just exhausted from whatever had happened that had brought me here. When he was finally finished, I started spouting questions, though I felt as if I could sleep for a week. Eventually he seemed to realize that I was dead on my feet, and he led me to a set of stairs I hadn't noticed on the far side of the room.

Upstairs were living quarters. A cozy sitting room, a small kitchen, a bathroom, two bedrooms, and one room that looked like it had once been a library but was now just a mess. There were books scattered everywhere, and not just in the library, but throughout the house. He offered me tea, and I gratefully accepted. He motioned to the small sofa in the sitting room and I sat down as he bustled around the adjoining kitchen boiling water for tea. "Sorry the place is such a mess, I do not have much time to clean." He called to me as he began to wash dishes that I was sure had been in the sink for a few days at least.

"No problem," I called back, "I've seen worse." I thought of my dorm back in Central. The beds were unmade and there were books and take-out boxes everywhere. I'd left in a hurry. Trying to get my mind off of home, I looked around. There was a book on the coffee table in front of me (There were books everywhere, but this one caught my eye) and for lack of anything better to do I picked it up and started to look through it. It happened to be about the same subject we had just been discussing, and I began reading with interest.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a strange bed.

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What did I tell you? Crappiest chapter I've ever written. I hope you'll review anyway, if only to rag on me for giving up. Thanks again, so much, to everyone who has supported me in this venture. I really hope I'll be able to return to it someday. I especially want to thank Pure_Shikon, who spent hours upon hours emailing back and forth with me and let me bounce ideas off her, as well as giving me quite a few ideas. Selim being Roy's son came from her, as well as a bunch of other stuff that I can't name. Thank you so much, I love you!

Insane Author


	26. What Do I Call Him?

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N:** So guess what? I'm BACK! I might not do regular updates for a while, because I'm still working on getting into the groove again, but there will definitely be updates. From now on, I will probably update on Sunday evenings, because that is when I will have the most time, what with Band Camp starting this week and school starting next week. So watch for updates on Sunday nights or Monday mornings, because that is when I will most likely get to it. **ALSO**, please be aware that I have rewritten and updated the first three chapters of this fic. They are A LOT different, so go back and read them for fun and giggles, and let me know if I left out any major plot points. Thank you.

**Disclaimer:** There are a lot of things that I own--my new laptop Doris, three 18 inch dolls, a crappy stereo, two flutes, a violin, and a piccolo--but unfortunately I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Actually, that's probably a good thing, because I can't draw worth crap.

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_**Chapter 22: What do I call him?**_

The place was different, that was for sure. I was in a small room with a bed and dresser, and not much else. My first thought was that it was my host's bedroom, but I quickly discarded the notion as I became more aware of my surroundings and realized that the room was not normally lived in. A thick layer of dust covered the scarce furnishings and the floor, except for a set of footprints that had disturbed it leading from the door to the bed where I lay. He must have carried me in there. Suddenly I was a tiny bit glad I was—I'm not short!

I stood, noticing that except for my boots, I was still wearing my clothes. Thinking back, I couldn't remember the last time I'd changed them, let alone showered. I grimaced. I may have been a teenager, but even I could only go so long without a change of clothes. I aspired to ask my host if he had some extras he could spare.

Thinking of my host, I still didn't know what to call him. I couldn't get over the fact that we had the same name _and_ face. I wondered if he had a brother named Alphonse too. Perhaps then he would understand what I had gone through to save my own.

I padded out of the bedroom, glancing around me and quickly finding the restroom. After that, it was easy to locate the kitchen, as I recognized it, having been there before. Edward—because at some point I had decided that would be the easiest thing to call him—was standing in there making coffee. "Good morning." He greeted me cheerfully. Unusually cheerfully considering I was a strange man who claimed he was from another world and had somehow managed to fall asleep in his living room.

I nodded at him, walking fully into the kitchen. "Morning." I murmured, rubbing the back of my head and then wincing at how messed up my hair was. I pulled the tie out of it and started running my fingers through it to get out the worst of the tangles.

He cocked an eyebrow at this, but said nothing. Instead, he asked, "Did you sleep well?" and started rooting around for clean coffee mugs.

I shrugged, still focused on my hair. "Well enough, I guess. Sorry for just falling asleep on your couch like that." Deeming that I had gotten out as many tangles as possible, I started braiding my hair again.

"It is alright. I understand that you must have been exhausted. It was really no problem to carry you to the guest room. You do not weigh much," he answered. He finally succeeded in finding clean mugs. "Coffee?" He offered, holding up the pot in my direction.

I nodded, accepting a cup when he handed it to me. "Thanks. Hey, did you just imply that I'm short?" I was slightly angry at this, but for some reason not nearly as much so as I would have been normally. Perhaps it was because I had just been dropped into a strange world and I had no idea what had happened at home. I wondered if Al had gotten his body back, or if the transmutation had not worked. I looked down at my right hand. It still seemed strange to me that it was flesh when I had had automail for so long.

He smiled a little at me as he took a sip of his coffee, suddenly reminding me of my own. I drank. "I did not intend to insult you," he assured me, "In fact, you are only a few inches shorter than myself. I only meant that you are very thin. You should eat more."

I stared at him. What did it matter to him whether I was thin or not? It was true, lately I had been eating less and less, because I had missed you after being gone for so long and because I was worried about the transmutation I was going to attempt, but it was hardly _his_ business. "Why do you care?" I asked him, "I'm a crazy guy you found on the street. It's not your responsibility to worry about me, and you definitely didn't have to take me to your home and put me up for the night. Even if I have no idea where I am, I can still support myself. I've been doing it since I was young, and caring for my brother on top of that, so I don't see why...." I trailed off as I thought of my brother.

How was Al now? Did he have his body back? Were you taking care of him like I'd asked? Were you taking care of yourself? I didn't know about any of it, but I knew that I could probably never go back. It just wasn't possible. I'd given everything so that Al could live; I hoped that he would use that life.

Edward looked at me for a time, and then murmured, "You have had a hard life. I understand."

I glared at him, suddenly upset that he was trying to comfort me. "You have no idea! Our father left us, our mother died when we were young, and then when we tried to bring her back using alchemy my brother lost his body and I lost my arm and leg! I joined the military so that we could look for a way to get our bodies back, and I saw so much then that a twelve year old kid should never have to see! We have seen more hardships in ten years than you will see in your entire lifetime." With that, I set my cup down—rather harshly—and stalked out of the room.

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So, Ed is upset for no discernable reason. He just feels like being upset, maybe? All might be explained next chapter. Please review, it makes me write faster.


	27. Lost In a Strange Land

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N:** Sorry, I thought it had been less time than it actually had. I've been so busy with starting school again and everything that I completely forgot about updating. Here's the next chapter, I hope you're not disappointed with it. I really tried my hardest, and I'm trying to make it interesting, but lately I've been pining over my ex-boyfriend and not wanting to do much else. Hope you enjoy it anyway.

**Disclaimer:** I don't deserve to own Fullmetal Alchemist. I can't even remember self-instated deadlines.

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_**Chapter 23: Lost in a Strange Land**_

I had no idea where I was. I had stormed out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the building. Without thinking, I had started to wander the streets. Now I was lost in a foreign city, surrounded by old, tumble-down houses, and wondering where on earth I was supposed to go. I was in an entirely different world that I had absolutely no knowledge of, and I had run away from the one person who had wanted to help me for no reason at all.

I collapsed on some steps. I felt a bone-deep exhaustion, I was nearly frozen, and I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten. Everyone—though there weren't many people in this part of town—who saw me must have thought that I was homeless. I realized that I was. I had nowhere to go in this place, no one who would take me in. I told myself that it wasn't hopeless. There had to be work in a city this large, and there would hopefully be a cheap place I could rent...or something. There was always an answer, you just had to find it. I had lived on my own for ten years, I could do it again.

I fell asleep there, sitting on a step wrapped in my thin coat—designed for winters in Amestris, not in this place called London where there was already an Edward Elric and nothing seemed like home. I missed my brother, Winry, Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, Breda, Falman, and the rest of the people back home, but most of all I missed you, and the warmth of your body against mine.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

I was really tired of waking up in strange places. I looked around blearily and wondered where on earth I was. I had wandered until nightfall the day before and then fallen asleep on the street. Anything could have happened to me. I was in unfamiliar territory and I should really have been watching my back better than I had. Granted, I didn't really have anything of value, but that didn't mean I wouldn't get the crap kicked out of me just because someone wanted to be sure.

I wondered what I should do. Look for work and a place to stay, I decided, and hopefully find some food, because I was starving. And then? I assumed I would be here for the rest of my life, so I may as well study their culture and learn to blend in. I was interested in the form of science they studied here, and I wondered where I could learn more....

I had to force myself to remember that before I started researching, I had to find a job and a place to live. Once I was settled, then the studying could begin. I sighed, world-weary, tired, hungry and cold, and started walking in an attempt to find something helpful and to warm myself up.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

I had been walking for hours. It was nearly noon, by my judgment, and I still hadn't found a job or anywhere to stay. Most importantly, I hadn't found _food._ I had left all my money behind for Al, not that it would do much good here anyway. I had no way of buying anything, and no one wanted to pity the poor odd boy who had been wandering the marketplace for hours, looking longingly at the food stalls without much hope.

As I reached the end of the rows of stalls for what must have been the dozenth time, I had all but lost hope. But just then, an older man working at the last stall in the row tapped my shoulder and held out some sort of pastry. I looked closely at him, wondering if he was just trying to convince me to buy his wares, when he told me, "You can work it off when you have finished," and moved the food closer to my face. I accepted it gratefully and took a large bite. It was some sort of roll with meat and cheese inside, and it tasted heavenly after so long without food. I finished quickly, and then he gestured towards his cart and said, "I will show you how to make them. It is good for a young man to know a trade."

I followed him, and spent the rest of that day helping to prepare and sell these pastries. When dinner time came around, he gave me another, and when we packed up for the day he told me that I had helped him sell more that day than he had altogether in the past week. I blushed at the compliment. Then he asked if I would come again the next day and whether I had a place to stay. When I agreed to come and told him that I didn't have a home at the moment, he seemed to pity me, but then insisted that he knew someone who would rent me a small apartment for very cheap. I told him I had no money, but he reminded me that I was now working for him.

It was a relief, I thought as we walked through the busy streets to this place he said I could stay, to know that I had an income and soon somewhere warm to sleep again. I had blown it with my first opportunity, but I would not mess this up.

**xXxFullmetalAlchemistxXx**

It was a shock to meet the woman who would become my new landlady. I was speechless for long moments, and when I finally spoke all I could think of to say was, "Gracia?" For indeed, Gracia Hughes stood before me; her sweet, smiling face beaming down at me.

Confusion crossed her expression for a second, and then she asked, "How do you know my name?"

I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment and murmured, "You look like someone I used to know, is all."

Her smile returned full force, and she beckoned me inside. "Your apartment is upstairs on the right. I live across the hall," She told me. She seemed to have forgotten the strange occurrence already. "If there is anything you need, just let me know and I'll see what I can do."

I glanced down at myself. "I don't suppose you could tell me where I could buy a change of clothes?" I had a small amount of the native money now, thanks to my new employer, and I hoped that it would buy the items I needed. He had promised to give me more every night when we were finished working.

She laughed. "I can go pick some things up for you if you like. I am rather good at guessing sizes. You can pay me back later," she added as she saw me reaching into my pocket to extract my money.

I nodded my thanks, and she urged me to go upstairs for a hot bath and some rest. I gratefully complied.

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There you go, all done. You hate me, don't you? I'm a horrible writer, I don't know how I've lasted this long without getting any flames. Review if you want, I'm going to watch Chinese sitcoms.


	28. Life and Events In London

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N: **I'm really tired, so I'm going to try and keep this short. I was busy all last week and couldn't write, so when I got around to it yesterday I was starting from scratch. I didn't get done last night and was going to finish and post this morning, but I had other things I needed to do and then we went to my grandparent's house to paint and didn't get back until late. Sorry this chapter is late, but it's pretty long to make up for it, with some fun surprises and stuff that should make you excited for the next one. That said, please enjoy. I'm going to bed.

**Disclaimer: **I'm exhausted. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and right now I can't even spell it. Seriously, the first two tries were "Fullmatel" and "Fullmeatl."

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_**Chapter 24: Life and Events In London**_

"Hello Mr Danielson!" I called cheerfully to my employer as I walked down the street, going to set up our cart in the marketplace. He waved back, then went back to heating the grill for cooking the pastries. I had been in London for a few weeks, and I was slowly getting used to life there. My employer and I had multiplied his business' profits by nearly five times since I had started working with him. Apparently the ladies loved me, and I attracted a lot of customers. There was almost always someone hanging around the cart, eating our meat pastries and either laughing at my antics or having a very serious discussion about science with me.

My studies were going well. A cart near ours sold used books, and I picked up everything I could that even vaguely related to science. I had a rather large personal library after only that short time. Needless to say, I was spending most of my wages on books, and I was very glad that I worked for a food vendor, because otherwise I was sure I would not be able to buy myself any meals.

I worked hard every day, and when I got home after a full day of cooking, selling pastries, and discussing science with half the customers that came by, I would collapse with a book and read myself to sleep.

Sometimes in the quiet early morning, I would look around my small, nearly empty (But quickly becoming book-filled) apartment and wish I knew how everyone back home was doing. I didn't necessarily want to go back, though I often wished I could see my loved ones again, but I wanted to know that the people I had left behind were alright. This was the only time I allowed myself to think about my old life, Amestris, my brother, Winry, the team, and you, because more often than not I would begin to weep, and I could not afford to show this weak side in front of anyone.

The days passed, sometimes achingly slow, sometimes so fast it left my head spinning. Around two months after I had arrived, something happened that nearly tore away my last vestiges of sanity: I met Al.

**xXxI'mSoMeanxXx**

It was a normal day. I was at the grill, frying meat and cooking pastries nearly to perfection while chatting with customers and doing fancy tricks with the spatula to impress the ladies. Someone came up to the cart and ordered, and I obediently wrapped one up and held it and my empty hand out, just as I always did. When I finally looked up, I could not believe my eyes. "Al?" I murmured, my voice broken. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at me and a smile dawned on his face. "Edward! What are you doing here? I thought you were getting another government grant, why are you working at a food stall? And what happened to your hair?"

It dawned on me quickly, and I shook my head. "I'm not the Edward you think I am. Which means you must not be who I thought you were either." Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief. My brother, as far as I knew, was still safe at home. "Wait, is the other Edward your brother?"

He lifted an eyebrow at me. "What do you mean by 'other Edward?' I see only you." An assessing look at me, and I realized that I was still holding out both my hands, now the opposite one empty and the other filled with money. Blushing, I pulled them both back toward myself, counting the money to make sure he had gotten the amount right and putting it in the cash box. I turned back to the grill, where the meat I had been frying was getting rather well done.

"Sorry," I murmured, "It's kind of hard to explain, but I'm not who you think I am. I just happen to look an awful lot like him and have the same name."

There were other customers behind him, and he moved off to the side, allowing them to come up and order. He began eating his food as we spoke. "So you are not my cousin, you just look identical?" So they were cousins. Figured, since as far as I could tell, no one in this world had figured out how to live for several hundred years, so Hohenheim could not possibly be their father.

"Unfortunately, yes." I replied, dropping more meat on the grill and jerking my head back from the smoke and splattering grease. I whirled to serve another customer and my braid flew over my shoulder. I shoved it back with an irritated huff.

He looked at me questioningly and asked, "If it bothers you why not cut it off?"

I froze for a second but recovered quickly, asking, "Cut what off?"

He shook his head at me, chewing the last bite of his meal. "Your hair. It is obvious that it bothers you, so why do you keep it so long?"

There was a lull in work, and I glanced around to see whether Mr Danielson had returned from the supply run yet and then leaned against the side of the cart, resting for a moment, listening intently for the specific sizzling of the meat behind me that would tell me it needed to be flipped. In answer to Al's question, I murmured, "I've always kept it down to my shoulders, but my lover back home liked it long, so I let it grow. I had been meaning to get it trimmed, but then I had to leave, and now I've vowed not to cut it again unless I can return home." I fingered the end of my braid almost lovingly, "Every time it gets in my way it reminds me of home."

He smiled, watching the reverent way I handled my hair as I tightened the loosened tie holding it in check. "She is a very lucky girl." I thought about correcting him, but decided better of it. No need to advertise that I was gay. "I am Alfons Heiderich, by the way." He held out his hand, and I shook it.

"Edward Elric. But you knew that already." I smiled, turning back to the grill and picking up my spatula once more.

He laughed, and I could tell that this was a person who appreciated my sense of humor. "Naturally." He glanced at his watch. "Oh dear. If I do not leave now I will be late to meet with Edward. He wanted some advice on his research and I happened to be in town, so I told him I would help. I hope to see you again, sir."

I looked at him and nodded. "It was really great to meet you, Alfons," I replied. "I hope we'll see each other again." I watched him walk away and wondered if we _would_ ever meet again. I truly did hope so, because seeing him made my ache to see my brother a little bit easier to bear.

**xXxI'mSoMeanxXx**

The holiday season came soon after that. Decorations were put up and people sang carols on street corners and in the marketplace, hoping to bring some holiday cheer to the people of London. But thinking of the holidays did not make me happy, like it did most people. It only made me think of the home I had left behind and the people I would be sharing this happy occasion with if I were still there. It reminded me of the happy times spent with my mother, but an even more vivid memory was of an office party I had attended where I had gotten royally drunk. I had learned afterward that you had carried me home, and I had said some rather embarrassing things, which you laughed at me for later.

So as the holiday season came, instead of buying presents (For I had no one to give gifts to) I cooked meat pastries,and instead of cheerfully singing carols (For I didn't know the words anyway) I discussed science. All I wanted was to make it through the holidays without crying in public.

Apparently, it was doomed not to be so.

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There. Please review, I'm going to bed.


	29. Meetings Can Hurt

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N:** So...this is earlier than I expected it to be, and the ending feels kind of abrupt. But I felt the need to end it where I did. I'll figure out where I'm going with it after this pretty quickly, I've already got some ideas. This chapter is pretty exciting, remember how last chapter he mentions that he didn't manage to make it through the holiday season without crying in public? Here you find out why! I'm gonna let you read, because I'm babbling anyway.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist I would be able to live somewhere that I didn't have a slob of a roommate. _(Haha, totally moved into my own place! But still don't own FMA. Sad day.)_

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_**Chapter 25: Meetings Can Hurt**_

I was on my way to the cart to set up just as always, calling as cheerfully as I could manage to people I recognized. It was a perfectly normal day, I thought at the time, and I was determined to have a good time working and to hopefully forget the fact that the holidays were coming up and I had no one to spend them with.

Turning to call hello to a young man who worked at a cart near ours, I collided with someone. I fell, being such a lightweight, and as I was apologizing for running into the other person, a gloved hand reached out to help me up. I took it gratefully, hoisting myself up and brushing my clothes off, apologizing again for being so careless, "Sorry. I'm such a klutz."

"It is quite alright. I was not looking where I was going either." I froze at that voice, and my eyes slowly trailed up from the gloved hand towards the face, hoping that it was just a coincidence. Alas, my fears were recognized when my eyes met playful onyx ones.

Standing before me, smiling down at my thinner form, was Roy Mustang. It had to be. The face was exactly the same, the dark hair just as I remembered it. I felt the tears welling in my eyes, but I could not force myself to look away, to hide my tears from the man I loved. "Roy?" I asked brokenly, my body shaking, "Did you...where's Al?"

He looked at me in confusion, his eyes not losing their sparkle. "Who is Al?"

I shook my head. "Don't play games with me. Did you really give up your future to come after me? You shouldn't have done that. What about your career? What about my brother...what about Al? How could you leave him behind like that? He needs you!" My voice was getting increasingly hysterical, and I knew I needed to calm myself, but I had no control over my emotions right then.

"I am sorry, young man, but I am afraid that I do not know you, and I do not understand what you are asking me." He looked regretful, as if he thought perhaps I was crazy, and that it was quite a shame.

"How could you lie to my face like that? If you didn't come here to find me, then why are you here at all? I don't need you! I'm fine on my own now, and I don't need you!" The tears had started pouring down my face. I knew that there was a crowd growing around us, but I couldn't stop myself from spitting the hateful words at him.

"I truly do not understand. I am not who you think I am," he insisted.

I growled at him, becoming frustrated. "Liar! I thought you cared about me!" At this point I fisted my hands in his shirt and yanked, bringing his face closer to mine. "Do you have any idea how difficult this has been for me?" Finally, in a bare whisper, the words I wanted so badly to speak, "I thought you loved me."

His eyes widened, and he took me firmly by the shoulders and pushed me away from him. "I am not who you seem to think I am. Perhaps we should talk...in private." He led me away from the crowd with one hand on my shoulder. I don't really know where we went. A quiet side street, I think.

"Now," he said, shoving me towards a wall, "You can explain who you think I am."

I leaned against the wall and allowed the tears to continue falling as I sorted my thoughts, forcing myself to make coherent sense. I slowly realized my mistake. This was not my Roy, not the man I had known for years, the one I had come to love, not you. This was another alternate world person, another someone who had no idea who I was because circumstances in this world were not such that my alternate self and your alternate self had ever had to have contact. Just like Gracia. The little shred of hope I'd had that I could see you again shattered nearly as quickly as it had appeared. Suppressing my tears and feeling foolish, I looked at him again. "I'm sorry," I murmured, "You're right, I wasn't thinking. He couldn't possibly be here. I forgot myself for a minute."

He looked at me for a long moment, then finally said, "I apologize as well, for bringing up memories that perhaps you did not wish for. The man you knew...I can see that he must have hurt you terribly."

A shocked look overcame my features, and I responded, "Of course not! Roy loved me, and if anything **I** was the one who hurt him." I buried my face in my hands. "I still can't quite believe that I left him so easily, even if it was to save my brother."

He patted my shoulder awkwardly and, sighing, told me, "Whatever happened with him, I hope I did not cause you any emotional pain. You seem like a very nice girl to me, and I would hate--"

"**Girl?**" I shrieked, outraged, "Girl! You think I'm a girl?"

He blushed. "You are...."

"I'm a man, thank you very much! Where do you get off, calling me a girl like that?" I fumed, arms waving angrily, my rage meter nearly full.

"I apologize. I did not realize. Your hair is so long, and you are so thin and sh--"

"Don't you dare call me short!" I interrupted again, exploding, "That's just adding insult to injury!" Calming slightly, I mumbled grumpily to myself, "Thinks I'm a girl _and _calls me short. This jerk is just like Colonel Bastard."

Still blushing, he murmured, "I apologize. But...excuse me, who is this...'Colonel Bastard?'" He seemed really embarrassed to be asking this question (Or about his mix-up, or both), which seemed to be a difference between him and you.

"His real title is Colonel Roy Mustang, I just call him Colonel Bastard," I explained, as if this was obvious. I decided not to add the bit about you being the flame alchemist, since that would not impress anyone here anyway, and in fact would probably just make them think I was crazy.

"He has the same name as I do?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"Same face, too." I agreed. I turned away from him. "I have to get to work. I'll see you around...or not, I'm indifferent either way." I wished, at least.

I walked away from him that day and sincerely hoped that I didn't see him again, for the same reason I did want to see Alfons again. He made my ache for you ease. Seeing Alfons, remembering my brother, and knowing that he was probably safe and sound because of what I had done felt good. But seeing this other Roy, fighting with him, remembering all the good times with you, and then knowing that this was only a copy of the man I loved, was something I could not bear. While he eased the ache for my Roy very briefly, when I thought of the man I really wanted to see, the pain came back doubled. And then, in the back of my head, there was the fear that if I saw this man too much, I would come to love him as I had you, and even if I could never go back, I wanted to remain faithful to my lover forever. If I saw this man again, I was afraid I would crumble.

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That's just wonderfully depressing, now isn't it? Please review and tell me how much you hate me right now.


	30. Something New

**A/N:** So...pretend it hasn't been as long as it actually has. I have had virtually no time at all to write over the past month, because I had auditions and performances and stuff left and right. Most of that is over now, I just have one big audition left and then my life will be way easier. This chapter is shorter than I wish it was, but it ends well, I think. There'll be more hopefully by next weekend.

**Dsiclaimer: **Do you think an actual published author would be as lame as I am?

* * *

_**Chapter 26: Something New**_

After the holidays passed my life was easier. I fell into a routine: Wake up early and go to the market to help set up our cart, chat with customers while making meat buns, help close up shop and possibly buy some books before the other stalls closed, and then head home to read myself to sleep. I had no purpose beyond that. I really did not know what to do with myself, considering everything I had cared about had been left behind in my own world.

It was a shock for me then when someone showed up and handed me a new goal. Just like that, I had purpose in my life again, and it became nearly all I lived for, besides the memories of my loved ones.

**xXxFMAxXx**

It happened sometime around the beginning of the new year. It was still frigid outdoors, and only when working at the grill was I warm. My landlady had knitted me a hat for Christmas, saying that I was going to lose my ears to frostbite, and I wore it almost constantly, if only because it kept my hair in check.

It was a particularly cold January day, and as was to be expected with the frigid air and the snow that was beginning to fall we did not have many customers. In fact, Mr Danielson and I had just been discussing closing early and going home because we had not had any business in more than an hour.

But then _he_ showed up. He walked up to our cart with a swish of his long, black wool coat, his shiny boots crunching on the snow and a smirk on his face. "So it is you." He murmured, leaning on his forearms on the counter.

"Can I help you?" I asked him, voice friendly but eyes glaring daggers where my boss could not see.

"I had heard rumors of someone named "Ed" who could debate science with the best of them, and I had wondered if perhaps it was you. I see you found your place in the world." A gloved finger brushed along the counter, and he looked at it in disgust and rubbed it on his coat.

"I'm here because someone was kind to me and I want to repay them. And anyway, what happened to you? You were pretty nice to me the last time we met." I growled, throwing away all pretenses that he was a customer.

"As I recall, you decided that though I had done you nothing but kindnesses, still I was a horrible person and you wanted nothing to do with me. I am merely acting the part that you cast me in." He held out his arms and turned around, his short blond hair waving in the cold breeze.

"How would you feel, showing up in a place you knew nothing about, knowing that you had sacrificed yourself for someone you loved but not knowing if it had even worked, regretting leaving your lover and your family and your friends for something that you had no faith in anymore? I can only _hope_ that Alphonse is alright, that Winry and Roy and the team are alright, because last I heard they were planning to stage a revolt and take over Central City. Can you fathom what that feels like? Can you even imagine what was going through my head while all you seemed worried about was whether or not you could find clean dishes? No, I don't think anyone who has not experienced this could even vaguely understand what it feels like!" My tirade finally ended, my breathing labored and my face distorted—a grimace, but not crying. Refusing to cry, because I had cried enough, and this Edward Elric did not cry.

A sad look fell over his face, and he said quietly, "You're right. I could never understand that. But I still want to help you. You are a scientist, that much is obvious, and I am to be getting a government grant to pay for an assistant. If you are interested, I would be glad to have you."

"Why would I want to work for you?" I asked him. A legitimate question.

"Not for me, _with_ me. Though officially the grant is for an assistant, what I would really like is a partner. Someone who could break the silence of an empty lab once in a while, who could help in my research and share intelligent conversation with me," he answered, nodding at me.

I thought for a long moment. "I could probably do that, but when do you want me over there?" Another legitimate question. I had obligations to Mr Danielson as well.

"A few days a week is fine. I understand that he needs your help around here, as well. After all, I hear you have helped to increase his sales by a large factor." He smiled at Mr Danielson, who was standing behind me looking at me like I was luckiest man on earth.

"Alright," I agreed, "So do you want me to come tomorrow, then?" I wondered where his home was. I could not remember at all.

He nodded, adding, "I could show you the way there tonight so that you will be able to find it in the morning."

I consented, and he waited patiently while we closed up shop and gathered our things to leave. I said goodbye to Mr Danielson and followed Edward in the direction of his house.

**xXxFMAxXx**

Entering the ground floor laboratory I felt knowledge and the sanctity of science press in all around me, and I realized just how much I had missed this. Maybe science could not mend my broken heart, but it could certainly be a comfort on the days when no other comfort could be found.

"Welcome to our laboratory, Partner."

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There you go, that's all for now. Please review, and if you like Fruits Basket please go read my story "Tohru's Demise." (Slaps self for shameless self-advertising) Seriously though, I've worked hard on that one. You should read it. And review. Or just review this, which would also be awesome. Or go read my livejournal (Link on profile).


	31. New Identity or Old?

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N:** I've got a few management things that I want to get out of the way before the story. First, I was very disappointed by the lack of reviews for the last chapter. I know it had been a long time, but the content of all the reviews (One) that I got was as follows:

Update

Now, I don't mind people asking for a quick update on the next chapter, because I totally understand that it's hard to wait, especially with my tendency to go so long without updating. But this review came _the day after_ I posted the new chapter, and I was really hoping that I would get some feedback on my story. It's frustrating to work really hard on something and not even know if anyone likes it.

The second thing is slightly happier. I'm going to be changing the title of this story from "Edward Elric: Hero and Lover" to "For All The World, For One Man." I feel that the new title really fits the story a lot better than the old one, which was only there because I couldn't think of anything better at the time. So yeah, don't get confused when with the next update the title changes. That's everything, and this author's note is getting long, so I'm done now. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't think anyone could love me as much as they love Hiromu Arakawa, so I guess that must mean I don't own FMA.

* * *

_**Chapter 27: New Identity or Old?**_

Walking into that lab again with the understanding that I could freely use any and all of the equipment there sent a thrill up my spine. I was Edward the scientist again, instead of Ed the meat bun guy who has scientific know-how. I remembered my title, "The Fullmetal Alchemist," and flexed the fingers of my right hand. I felt the fingers move, felt the muscles strain, and decided that whether I had saved Al or not, being sent to this world was a blessing, a chance to start anew and make something of myself the hard way.

I looked at Edward, who was standing in the doorway watching me silently. He raised an eyebrow when I looked at him, and I shot him a grin. "This is a great opportunity for me, you better hope that in the future I don't completely knock you out of the science world."

He laughed and replied, "If it comes to that, I will go out knowing that my replacement is entirely worthy."

**xXxFMARocks!xXx**

Again, I fell into an easy routine. I worked at the cart three or four days a week and spent the rest of the week working with Edward. We made some great progress. The scientific world was evolving rapidly as more and more discoveries were made. I learned so much more from working at that lab than I had from all the books I had read combined. It was an amazing feeling, one I cannot describe accurately.

**xXxFMARocks!xXx**

"Your lady friends were wondering where you have been off to lately," Mr Danielson chuckled.

I choked. "Lady friends?" I asked in horror.

"What else would you call all the young women who stand around the cart half the day trying to grab your attention?" He turned from me and started frying meat.

"Stalkers," I replied easily, "Or fan girls. I don't really need the extra attention, especially not from them."

"Why not? You are getting close to the age where you should start thinking about marriage."

I shuddered. "I'm spoken for, thank you very much. My lover is way better than any of those floozies."

"Hmm? What is your lover like? You do not talk about her much."

I shook my head, but he insisted I share. So I told him, "Dark hair, but not just dark, completely black, without even a hint of brown in it, and so unbelievably soft and silken that it's like running your hands through a cloud. Skin like a china doll's, perfect and pale and smooth. But the eyes, the eyes were what caught me. They're black, not brown, not dark blue. A perfect onyx, so dark you cannot tell iris from pupil unless you examine them in a way that not many are allowed to do. And of course, the personality is to die for." I chuckled humorlessly to myself.

"She sounds like a wonderful girl," Mr Danielson murmured, smiling a secret little smile.

"Yeah," I agreed, "A really great person."

When he turned away, I breathed an internal sigh of relief. I had avoided questioning on the sensitive topic of my sexual preferences and had still given a satisfactory answer. I hesitated to let anyone know that I was gay, since they didn't seem to like homosexuals in this place, and in the first place I was unsure if I really _was_ gay. Just because I was in love with one man did not necessarily mean that I liked all men. In fact, I had felt little attraction to any of the people here, male or female. I cared not, as the only person I ever wanted to be with again was you, and you were the one person I could probably never have.

**xXxFMARocks!xXx**

A vial was taken from my hand and I looked up. "You seem unfocused today," Edward commented, examining the substance in the vial, "Is there something on your mind?"

I shook my head, picking up a beaker and another vial and pouring a liquid from beaker to vial, scrutinizing the results. "I'm just tired, and I miss my family. I wonder what's going on back home and then I wonder if I'm ever going to get back there to see them again. I...I really hope that Al got his body back, and that he's doing alright. And I hope that Roy...that Roy has found someone to love him in my place. I just...all I ever wanted was for all of us to be happy, you know? But with a missing father and a mother who passed away when we were small, it was hard. Everything I did, it was all to make Al lighthearted and carefree. I just wanted him to be happy." I stopped talking then, still analyzing the vial I held.

"I think I understand that," he replied, setting his vial down and clasping my shoulder warmly. "My cousin Alfons and I are very close, like brothers, and it has been hard on me, seeing him ill and knowing there is nothing I can do to ease his suffering."

"Alfons is ill?" I asked in alarm, my earlier sorrow forgotten. "When did that happen?"

He shook his head sadly, running the hand that had been on my shoulder through his hair. "It is from his work. The fumes he inhales are effecting his lungs and making it difficult for him to breathe. The doctors say he does not have much longer to live."

"No!" He seemed shocked at my protest, but all the same willing to listen to me. "There has to be something we can do. Knowing Alfons, and seeing his similarities to my own brother, I cannot in good conscience leave this situation be until I have done everything I can to help him."

The smile on Edward's face lit up the whole room, and when he responded, it was only with a heartfelt, "Thank you."

* * *

Feel free to say it, I know you're all thinking it: I suck. Yep, it's true, I'm the worst writer ever. Blame it on all the asian dramas melting my brain. Please review!


	32. Correspondence

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N: **A few housekeeping things to cover before the story. 1) Sorry it's been two weeks instead of one since the last chapter, I was so busy last weekend and then I got sick to top it off. 2) REMEMBER! I'm changing the title with this chapter. It is no longer "Edward Elric: Hero and Lover." 3) **THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!** Thanks to all of you guys, we hit 100 reviews with the last chapter! 4) I got an anonymous review that I really wanted to respond to, so I hope you don't mind if I do it here.

Snow Leopard Pasha: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really not fishing for compliments, though. The honest truth is that as a writer I am very hard on myself, and so no matter how well a story is doing I can't help but put myself down about it. I guess it keeps me from getting a swollen head, at least. Thank you very much for your compliments on my work, I'm glad to know you like it.

**Disclaimer: **I'm too hard on myself to ever become a published author, let alone a famous one.

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_**Chapter 28: Correspondence**_

Taking on more work was the last thing I needed, considering how much I was doing already. I barely slept at night anymore, not that I cared much since it kept me from the dreams I usually had of home, and especially the ones I had of you. I had no desire to cry again.

Still, despite all the work I was doing I took on another task. I was determined to figure out just what was wrong with Alfons and to fix it. I had learned that he would not quit his job, no matter what it was doing to him. Edward had shared this with me, and also the list of different types of gases Alfons was inhaling. I was doing research to see what could be done to counter-act the effects of the gas, and I was hoping that there would be something I could do for him. Medical research seemed to be much different from the scientific research I was used to though, and it was taking me longer to get through the books I read than it would have with an alchemical text.

After a few weeks I was becoming frustrated at my lack of ability to comprehend the information I was acquiring. I needed someone to explain more to me, and to demonstrate things, but I had no idea where to look for someone of that nature. After a suggestion from Edward, I wrote letters to and visited universities, but even after hearing with whom I was working they turned me away, insisting that I was unworthy of the knowledge they bestowed upon others.

**xXx100Reviews!xXx**

As Winter slowly turned into Spring I finally received a reply from someone that would change my life in more ways than one. Finding that I had a letter was a great surprise, as I had been sure that all the universities to whom I had written had already replied, and I could not guess who would be sending me correspondence so long after I had written begging for assistance. The letter was as follows:

_"Dear Mr Elric,_

_ I am writing in response to your letter to Cambridge University. A very dear friend of mine is a professor there, and thought that perhaps I could help you. He said that you were doing research on the effects of certain gases on the human body. From what he has shared with me you have a vast amount of scientific knowledge, but you do not have the medical experience needed for this venture. If I could be of service to you, I would be glad to. Enclosed is my address in Oxford, should you decide to contact me._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Doctor Roy Mustang."_

To say I was surprised at this turn of events was an understatement. Of all things, he had to be a doctor. I could swear that fate was throwing me at him, and for all that I never wanted to meet the man again, if it would help Alfons I was willing to do it. I told myself that nothing had to happen between us, that he was probably not gay, and that it did not matter if he was, because I already had a lover and I did not wish for any other. With this in mind, I penned a reply:

_"Dear Dr Mustang," _(I prevented myself from calling him Dr Bastard.)

_"Thank you for your letter. The help you offer would be greatly appreciated, and I would very much like to meet with you to discuss it further. Will you be in London any time in the near future? I am afraid that my work keeps me very busy, and I am not sure that I will be able to find the time to visit you in Oxford. Should it be necessary, I will see if I can make the arrangements._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Edward Elric."_

My letter finished, I had it sent the next day, with a stronger hope that I would be able to cure Alfons.

**xXx100Reviews!xXx**

Waiting for a reply to my letter seemed to drag on forever. I so wanted to know when we would be able to meet and when I would be able to cure Alfons. Perhaps I was being impatient, but I was honestly very enthusiastic about helping Alfons in whatever way I could. When the reply finally came I was so excited that my hands were shaking and I could barely get the letter open. When I did, it was worth it.

_"Dear Mr Elric,_

_ I will be in London on the fifteenth of April, and will be staying until the twenty-second. I would like to meet with you during that time, and I hope that I will be able to answer all of your questions. If you have further questions after our meeting, please do not hesitate to write to me or to come visit me in Oxford. I have far too few guests._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Doctor Roy Mustang."_

I responded quickly, agreeing to meet with him while he was in London, and all the while my heart felt lighter, thinking, _'There may yet be hope for Alfons.'_

_

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_

Done. Sorry it's so short, I needed to stop there. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer. There you'll see Ed's meeting with Roy, it should be exciting. Please review, it makes me write faster!


	33. Unfaithfulness

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N:** I made deadline, just barely. Technically I could post this tomorrow morning and it would still make deadline, but I decided to be nice to all those people who haven't gone to bed yet and were just aching for an update of something. I'm sick again, I think you should know, and this time we think it's bronchitis. I need to go to bed because I have school in the morning, so enjoy your chapter. I'm going to take some sudafed and try to sleep.

**Disclaimer:** I'm so out of it right now that I can barely see straight, but I still know that I don't own FMA. I do own a lot of over-the-counter drugs that should hopefully help me feel better, though.

* * *

_**Chapter 29: Unfaithfulness**_

Waiting for the day when I would meet with Roy was torture, truly. I did not admit to myself then (Though I would later) that a large part of my impatience was the longing to see your face again, even if it was on a different man. I did want to help Alfons, but missing someone you love for so long can make you a tad crazy, and all I wanted was to remember your face and why I loved you so much. It's strange how you can forget things like that when in the past you thought you would remember it forever.

More than once I had wished I had brought a picture of you along with me, but then I remembered that I had not expected to survive the transmutation, and there would have been no reason to have one as far as I was concerned. Still, I longed for some memento of those I had left behind....

**xXxBadEd!xXx**

Finally, the day of our meeting came, and that morning I awoke both excited and nervous. I was to be working at the cart with Mr Danielson until noon that day, and then I would walk a short ways to a small restaurant where I would be meeting with Roy for lunch. It seemed such a luxury to be eating away from the cart or my home. I was nervous to be meeting with him because I had made a rather large fool of myself the last time we had met, and I wondered if he would remember that.

Quelling my feelings of unease, I stepped out of my apartment intent on learning something that would be of use to Alfons. I promised myself that I would not rest until he had been cured.

**xXxBadEd!xXx**

A little after noon, I walked into a cozy restaurant that sat on the edge of the marketplace. Sitting at one of the back corner tables was the man I had been waiting weeks to see. He was reading a newspaper and did not look up until I had seated myself across from him. Slowly, his eyes peeled themselves away from the periodical and glanced in my direction, widening as he recognized me. "You...you're the little lad from the marketplace!" This he said in a shocked voice, but never once did he raise it, always keeping our conversation as private as possible. "I met you around the holiday, and you mistook me for someone else. What are you doing here?"

I gave him a little half-bow from my seated position. "Edward Elric, Scientist, at your service sir," I chuckled, smirking.

He frowned at me. "You have to be kidding. You, who are no more than a child, are the great scientist that my good friend the professor spoke of so highly? It is not possible."

"I assure you sir, it is the truth. I have been studying the sciences since I was very young, and it has taken much effort to reach this point. If there is any way I could prove it to you, I would gladly do it." I tried not to look smug at having confounded him, but it was so difficult seeing that face and not wanting to taunt the man behind it.

"What information could you possibly share with me that would prove your claims?" he asked me, shaking his head.

"Would it help if I recited the contents of our letters?" I wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"You could have stolen those," he retorted stubbornly.

"Shall I recite the table of elements, perhaps, or tell you the make-up of the human body? If you wish I could explain a complicated scientific theory, or calculate a chemical reaction for you? You have but to ask, and I will do anything that will prove my identity." My claims were well supported. I could do all these things with little to no effort, if only he asked.

Again, he shook his head. "Perhaps instead a few minutes of intelligent conversation. Those things could be memorized by any person with half a brain, but a true scientist would be able to uphold a debate of theories for hours on end."

I agreed to this. As we began conversing, I watched the wonder on his face slowly grow. By the end of five minutes he was convinced that I was the real thing. I had so thoroughly astounded him with my scientific knowledge that he had no reason to doubt me any longer.

"Now," he said, leaning back as a nervous waitress came to take our order, "Tell me about your ailing friend."

"Alfons lives in Munich, and is highly involved in the building of rockets, more specifically the design of fuel tanks and engines. During this work, he inhales a variety of harmful gases, which I'll list for you in a moment. The problem Edward and I have run into--"

"Wait a moment, I thought you were Edward?" he asked, eying me warily.

"Right, sorry, I forgot to mention that I work with someone who has the same name as me. He also happens to be Alfons' cousin, which is how I got to know Alfons in the first place."

"I see. Go on then."

"Right. The problem we have run into is that Alfons refuses to stop his work. It is so important to him that he is willing to die for it. We are hoping to find a cure before we run out of time."

He pulled out a pen and paper at this point, presumably to make notes, and prompted, "List the types of gases for me, please?"

I told him, and as we discussed the symptoms that these gases were causing and what could be done to prevent their effects, I found myself becoming more and more relaxed. It had been so long since I had had a conversation partner who matched me so perfectly. More than anything at that moment I wanted to see this man again. Knowing that we would be meeting often to work on curing Alfons made my heart light.

I laid awake in bed that night wondering how I could have been so unfaithful to the one I had sworn to love forever.

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End of chapter, hope you enjoyed it. I also hope there aren't any typos. It's hard to proof-read when you can't see straight, you know? Please review!


	34. Undone

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N:** Hey y'all! Guess what? This is CHAPTER 30! I'm really excited that I got this far, and I hope that you are too. Other than that, I don't really have any notes, so I'm just going to let you enjoy the chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I've officially got my new computer paid off, but I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, because that costs too much money.

* * *

_**Chapter 30: Undone**_

During the week that Roy was in London we met several times more while we had the chance. After every meeting I went home and mentally beat myself for being unfaithful, though I knew that there was very little I could do to stop myself from being attracted to someone who was physically identical to my lover.

I no longer slept. I spent my days working and my nights pouring over scientific and medical texts, hoping against hope that there would be something, even one tiny note, to help us find a cure for Alfons. I refused to admit that I did not want to sleep because I was afraid of meeting you in my dreams and having to admit to you that I was attracted to another man. Worse yet, I was afraid that the man I met in my dreams would not be the one I was expecting.

**xXxCoughCoughCoughxXx**

All too soon the date of Roy's departure arrived. I met with him just before he left, to discuss when we would next be meeting.

"In June I plan to visit a friend of mine who lives in Munich. If possible, I would like to meet Alfons and examine him. If you could be there as well it would be appreciated," he told me, smiling. That was one difference between him and you: Doctor Roy smiled, but Colonel Roy smirked. The only person you had ever smiled for was me, and that was only during intimate moments, when it was just the two of us. This Roy smiled at everyone. He was just generally more friendly than his Amestris counterpart. I hated that.

"I believe Edward was planning on going to Munich to visit Alfons sometime soon anyway. I will discuss it with him." I was playing with the end of my braid and refusing to meet his eyes, as I had been doing quite a lot recently. I felt like a girl.

Surprisingly, this time he took my chin and forced me to face him. "You have no reason to hide your eyes from me, Ed." He had taken to calling me Ed when our discussions of Alfons had inevitably involved a lot of discussion of Edward as well. He found this less confusing. I found it more distracting, as you had called me the same.

I tried to turn away from him, but he held me in a firm grip. Finally, I murmured, "Every time I look at you I find myself straying."

His eyes narrowed, inspecting me. "Straying from what, young scientist?"

I bit my lip and said slowly, "From the one I swore I would love forever, even unto death."

"I distract you from the one you love, Ed?" he asked me quietly, gripping my chin a little tighter.

"Only because you so resemble him," I responded, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "I have been unfaithful in just meeting with you. Please, do not torture me further."

He shook his head, an odd look in his eyes. "I cannot believe that you are only attracted to me because of him. Surely there is some merit within me? You kill me, Ed."

I pulled away from him, suddenly terribly uncertain. "I love him, and whether I can ever see him again or not, I will not abandon that love."

"You speak as if he were dead," he murmured, his tone almost accusing, as if angry I would remain faithful to a dead lover.

"No," I told him firmly, "It is I who is dead." With that I walked away, not daring to look back, and I knew at that moment that you would have been proud of me.

Then a chilling thought occurred to me: I had more reason to be wary of meeting this man than I had initially thought. It seemed that homosexuals were more common in England than I had first thought, and the man I had so been hoping was not one apparently was.

**xXxCoughCoughCoughxXx**

"Ed? What's wrong?" I looked up to see Edward walking towards me. I had been standing outside his lab for the better part of an hour waiting for him to return home. It seemed that I looked as distressed as I felt right then.

"Roy...he...I don't know what to do anymore!" I wailed, yanking at my hair. I had been doing this for most of the time that I had been waiting for him, and my braid had long since come undone.

Shaking his head at me sadly, Edward unlocked his door and led me inside and upstairs to his living room. Sitting me down on the couch, he said, "Explain to me what has happened, so that I may help you."

So I explained how Roy was the very picture of my lover from a different world, how I had been struggling with my unwanted attraction to him because of this resemblance, about the confrontation I had just faced, and the way I walked away from him. "I don't want him, he's not the man I love. But at the same time he's the only link I have to who I used to be. I can never have my Roy, but the Doctor could be a replacement."

"But would you be able to live with yourself knowing that you did not love the man himself, that you were only using him as a placeholder for someone who would never return?" Edward asked me this very rationally, and I realized that had I not been under such emotional stress, that would have been my exact reaction.

"No," I murmured, my face sullen, "I don't think I could. It would be unfair of me to lead him on like that if I did not truly return his feelings." This was logic. Logic felt good. Logic was something that I could hold onto to help ground me. I loved logic.

"I'm glad you feel that way," Edward murmured, grasping my shoulder in a supportive fashion. "I know you miss your lover, but what has happened cannot be changed; we can only look into the future."

I sighed. "You're right." Then something dawned on me. "Hey, why didn't you seem at all surprised that I was gay?"

"That you were...excuse me? I am not familiar with that term."

"You know, that I'm a homosexual," I clarified.

"Oh," he said, "I knew ages ago. I thought you were aware of that."

"You did?"

"It was not difficult to notice that every time you spoke of Roy there was love in your eyes. I simply put the pieces together."

"Oh."

We sat in comfortable silence for several long moments, and as we did I inspected my hair. It was far too tangled by then to braid, and so instead of trying to coax the knots out I just tied all of it back. When I had finished Edward asked me, "Would you like supper? It is getting to be rather late, and I would hate to send you home on an empty stomach."

I agreed heartily, and we laughed and joked companionably as we set to making a meal and cleaning the place up enough to actually eat in it. I felt so much better, being with someone who didn't remind me of my former life, who I could joke and laugh with and not remember joking and laughing with someone I had known for much longer. In a sense, I was talking to myself. But Edward kept me sane when I could no longer think straight, and he cheered me up when I was down. He was quickly becoming like a brother to me.

* * *

The cough cough cough thing is because I still have a cough from my bronchitis and it's driving me crazy. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review!


	35. Histories

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N: **Why is this only being posted now? Because the Author is an idiot, and that is the kinder term. I will admit that not all of it was my fault, as I kept getting sick and whatnot, but as for not getting it posted last night...that was because I had an epic forget. So I decided that even though it's not my practice to post on Monday nights I would do it anyway because you all have waited so long for it already. As I got close to the end of this chapter I realized that I had written half of it in present tense and had to go back and change it, so if there's anything that sounds funny, that's probably why. Blame it on the "Bloody Jack" series by L.A. Meyer that I've been reading, which is entirely in present tense and a cockney accent, so that I've started thinking that way too. I need to stop talking. Sorry for the long-ass A/N.

**Disclaimer:** I thought that my Sim made a life-size Ed statue the other day and then I realized...that's just a gnome. No Ed for me.

* * *

_**Chapter 31: Histories**_

It was nearly time to face my fate. Edward and I were on a train heading toward Munich to see Alfons...and Roy, as well. I knew I would have to talk to Roy about what I had said at our last meeting, but I had no idea what to say. We had corresponded as always while making arrangements to meet in Munich, and in neither his letters nor mine was there a mention of our soul-revealing conversation. It would inevitably come up, because it would have to if we were to continue working together.

Thus I spent the entire train ride agonizing over what I would say to him, and how I would explain my relationship with you and the strange circumstances that had landed me in this world in the first place. I wondered how much of it he would actually believe. Edward had tried to calm me during the first few hours of the trip, reasoning with me in a soft voice, but when I still spouted nonsense about the gate, my brother, and the Amestris military whenever he tried to talk to me he gave up, reading a chemistry text and completely ignoring me instead.

**xXxAtLeastIDon'tHaveStomachFluAnymore!xXx**

The result of all that pondering was not a good one. By the time we reached Munich, I was so anxious and confused that I could barely manage to gather my luggage and depart the train. Edward directed me, being surprisingly patient with me considering the mess I had been all that time, and for me the entire trip to Alfons' home was one big blur. I do recall talking to some men from the German military, who were asking our reasons for visiting Munich and requesting our papers—luckily, Edward had foreseen this and had gotten papers for me, claiming that I was his long lost, orphaned twin brother who grew up on the streets and calling me Edmund. This had worked surprisingly well, considering the ridiculousness of the lie. Of course, we did look physically identical except for the three centimeter height difference and no one else knew my story anyway.

I recall a moment of clarity as Alfons greeted us at his front door, his face all smiles to see the two of us come for a visit. He had taken quite a liking to me, Edward had said, and it showed as he embraced me in the same way he embraced Edward—a quick hug and a firm pat on the back. This was so different from Al. I was used to Al's awkward metal hugs, and I missed them. Still, Alfons was a good man, and I hoped that we could save him, as the world needed more people like him.

**xXxAtLeastIDon'tHaveStomachFluAnymore!xXx**

Staying with Alfons was like staying with a very old friend. He seemed to know exactly what to do to make a person feel at home, and he made the entire atmosphere very easy-going. He reminded me of Al, who could calm the worst of them. Our first night in Munich was comfortable and happy, with good food, good wine, and good company, and then we went to bed pleasantly full and with lighter hearts, perhaps, than those with which we had arrived.

In the morning, I would remember what I had to do and dread it once more. Still, for a night at least, I wished to forget all my troubles and simply enjoy life and the company of others.

**xXxAtLeastIDon'tHaveStomachFluAnymore!xXx**

The following morning I awoke with a headache caused by too much wine and a nervousness in my belly like a thousand butterflies. I was to meet Roy for breakfast at nine o'clock to further discuss solutions and Alfons and Edward were planning to meet us both for lunch a little before noon. I hoped we could resolve our problems before then. Oh, how I hoped.

**xXxAtLeastIDon'tHaveStomachFluAnymore!xXx**

I left Alfons' house at a quarter to nine, assured by him that it would only take a few minutes to arrive at the restaurant where I was to meet Roy. I had directions and the name of the establishment, and I was certain that I would be able to find the place without too much difficulty. There was one point where I took a wrong turn, but I quickly backtracked and straightened myself out in time to walk into the restaurant promptly at nine. Of course, Roy was already at a corner table, reading the newspaper and waiting patiently for my arrival. I walked up to the table and sat down without a word. As I watched him carefully fold the paper and set it aside I knew that it was time for a very serious talk.

"It has been a long time, Ed. How are you?" He asked me, false cheerfulness in his voice.

"As well as can be expected, I suppose," I replied neutrally, flipping my braid over my shoulder. "How have you been?" Obligatory pleasantries.

"I am well, though I have missed your smiling face." He leaned closer to me over the table top. Instinctively, I leaned back slightly, frowning.

"I cannot say the same for you, I am afraid," I responded calmly, watching from the corner of my eye as the waitress walked up to take our orders.

We paused to order, and as the waitress walked away once more Roy took up our previous conversation. "A painful comment, Ed. Have you no care for me at all?"

"Your worth to me is however much you are able to do to save my friend. That is all you should have been from the start. But," and here I sighed, "I do owe you an explanation for my rather sudden departure back in London."

"Let us hear it then, Edward, for I would greatly like to know why you are so faithful to your lover and why you claim to be dead." The waitress brought us coffee and he lifted his and took a sip. He drinks his coffee black, another difference from you, who as I recall always took yours with two sugars and the tiniest dribble of cream.

"Alright, but let me remind you that the story is long and unbelievable, and if you interrupt me in the middle of it I shall never get it all out."

"I will stay silent, I swear it." He held up his right hand, the other over his heart, as he said this.

"Very well. The best place to start is surely the beginning, and so start there I shall. I grew up in a tiny village in the countryside of Amestris with my mother and younger brother. My father left when I was small and I never truly knew why. I always hated him for abandoning us. Especially after mother died...."

The telling was long, but surprisingly he managed to stay quiet throughout, despite an expression on his face that I could tell meant he had a thousand questions to ask. It was commendable in my eyes that he was able to keep his mouth shut, though it became easier when our meals arrived. After so much speaking that I had nearly lost my voice from it all, I finally came to a close.

"It took me nearly five years to realize I loved that man, and then after only a few short months of happiness it was all taken away. I know that he probably has a new lover by now, or several, but I have sworn to myself that I will never love any other, and I would rather die than break that promise. I know that there is no way to go back to him, but that cannot stop my love. And if I find myself being unfaithful, I would rather the gate had just swallowed me up and I could be in nothingness forever than to betray the one most dear to my heart."

"You are a most valiant man, Edward Elric. Not many would do what you are doing." He gave me a look over his coffee that I did not understand.

"Not many have been in my situation before. Besides, I only do what my heart demands. I believe that you would do the same." I called the waitress to ask for another coffee and to tell her that we had friends who would soon be joining us for lunch.

Sure enough, a few minutes later Alfons and Edward arrived, talking and laughing together animatedly. I was more than glad to see them. Finally, the discussions I was comfortable with could begin.

* * *

I think the numerous random scene breaks were influenced by Bloody Jack as well. Which you should go read, fyi, because it's awesome. It's about a girl who pretends to be a boy and manages to become a ship's boy on a British Warship. Pretty much the best thing ever. I'll stop advertising things for other people and go write my own stuff instead. Please review.


	36. Student

**A/N:** I'm so sorry...it's been two weeks and this chapter is short and super super crappy. I know it sucks, don't try to convince me otherwise because it won't work. I'll try to go through and rewrite it later this week, but I wanted to get something out there for you poor saps who've been waiting so long for the next chapter. I just want to take a moment to mention that I am not British, I have never been to England, and everything I know about it I have tried to do extensive research on before posting. I'm working on it, but my knowledge is still limited. If you happen to live in England or have anything to correct me on, you can feel free to do so. I try to be vague about things if I'm not really certain about them, which is why sometimes I'm sure it makes no sense. One more thing: I'm hoping to write a bonus chapter for Christmas (Which I celebrate, sorry to people who don't). I'm done, sorry for talking so much. Please enjoy the chapter!

**Disclaimer: **I possess a lot of things I don't own. Like the presents I'm going to be giving to my sister for Christmas.

* * *

_**Chapter 32: Student**_

Our discussion after Edward and Alfons arrived was much more productive. Though we still had not found a cure, we thought we had pinpointed the main causes behind his illness and we had begun debating what counter-measures could be used against the infection. There was much work still to be done. I hoped we would be able to cure him in time.

Edward and I spent the rest of our time in Munich studying further. Roy was unable to meet with us again.

**xXxIgettogoplayWiiFitnow!xXx**

After we returned to London, Edward suggested that I take a correspondence course from one of the universities, as I looked bored. I knew he was really only worried about my mental state, but I agreed and soon had something new to focus on. The course was not difficult by any means, but writing essays for it surely helped to occupy my mind so that I would not be contemplating Alfons' case constantly.

When I had completed the course, I received a letter from the president of the university, actually begging me to come and study with them, as he had never met someone so young and yet so intellectually advanced as I. I discussed this with Edward, and he told me that since they were offering me free education (For, indeed, the letter had stressed that I would not be required to pay anything) I should accept it. He insisted that he would be fine without me.

So, the next day, I sent a letter replying to the president, accepting the opportunity that he offered me. I awaited news from him quite nervously, and both Edward and Mr Danielson noticed how absentminded I was. It was worth it when his letter finally arrived.

_"Dear Mr Elric,_

_ I am overjoyed to hear that you are willing to study with us. Cambridge will be glad to have you. If you would give me the liberty, I will arrange housing for you, as well as register you in your courses. I believe that you will thrive here._

_ Please let me know when you plan to travel here, so that all the proper arrangements can be made. I look forward to your arrival._

_ Sincerely,_

_ President William Smith_

_ Cambridge University_

_ Cambridge, England"_

I could hardly contain my excitement. I was going to be attending Cambridge University as a prized student! Edward sent me home early that day, as I was too distracted to work.

**xXxIgettogoplayWiiFitnow!xXx**

Two months later I was settling into my new home in Cambridge. It had been difficult to leave Edward, Mr Danielson, and Gracia, but I was glad to be there. They, and Roy, all had my new address, so that we could continue to correspond, though I was rather far from them now. I was to start attending classes in the morning.

I lay awake until the wee hours of the morning, wondering what the future would bring.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please drop me a review and tell me just how much you want this chapter to be rewritten!


	37. Bonus: Not at Home for the Holidays

**A/N: **This is not a terribly happy Christmas chapter, but I like it. I hope you enjoy it too.

**Disclaimer: **I got two movies, a book, and a pair of flip flop socks with sunflowers on them for Christmas, but I did not get Fullmetal Alchemist. It's going on my list for next year.

* * *

_**Bonus Chapter 4: Not At Home For the Holidays**_

It was my first Christmas in London. The atmosphere was all cheery, there were carolers on every corner and decorations lit up the normally drab city streets. Everyone seemed to be in the spirit of the holiday...except me. Christmas activities seemed to whirl around me in dazzling colors, and I could not be a part of them even if I cared to try. I was the one dark spot on an otherwise wonderful Christmas. I couldn't be with the only person I ever wanted to spend the holidays with again, and so I was feeling rather down.

Mr Danielson asked me to join him and Gracia and a few other friends for a little Christmas party they were having. Nothing big, just a bit of a gift exchange and some food and fun. I tried to decline, really I did, but he would have none of it.

**xXxMerryChristmas/HappyHolidays!xXx**

That was how I found myself in Gracia's living room on Christmas morning, eating her wonderful cooking, conversing with people I barely knew, and declining quite a few offers of eggnog. Suffice it to say, besides the food I was not enjoying myself very much. I remembered the previous Christmas, for which I had been forced to attend an office party and had wound up getting horrendously drunk by the hand of one Lieutenant Breda. The highlight of that night had been Roy carrying me home in the snow. That would not be happening this year.

Mr Danielson noticed that I seemed unhappy and tried to help, as did Gracia, but it was soon getting to be too much for me. I went to thank Gracia for having me and take my leave, but as soon as I got to her she asked me gently, "Ed, I know that you are not enjoying yourself, but we are just about to do our gift exchange. Can you stay for that?"

I thought about that for a moment, before agreeing with a sigh. After all, I had gotten gifts for Gracia and Mr Danielson, albeit small things, and I did want to give them personally.

So as the gift exchange began, I handed a wrapped package to each of the new friends I had made here in London. As I did this I thought of all my friends back home, who would never get a gift from me again. I shook my head. It was time for happier thoughts. After all, it was Christmas.

For Mr Danielson I had gotten a new spatula, as I had broken quite a few of his and felt rather bad for it. For Gracia, there was a necklace of glass beads, artfully arranged, in soft greens and blues. I had found it at a second-hand jewellery seller on Market Street. I thought it suited her.

Gracia had kindly knitted a cap for me, and as I unwrapped it, she told me, "One of these days you are sure to lose your ears to frostbite, running about in the cold as you do. I hope that you will wear this hat, so that it can help prevent you from marring your good looks."

I blushed at her comment on my looks, but thanked her for her consideration and for the gift.

Mr Danielson gave me a chemistry text from the book seller next to us, one that apparently he had asked the owner to set aside for him before I could get to it so that he would have a gift for me. This particular text was more expensive than most, and I was very grateful to him for buying it for me.

**xXxMerryChristmas/HappyHolidays!xXx**

I left shortly after that, and I was glad to, as the sad memories were starting to get to me. I went into my apartment and closed the door, leaning against it heavily. Tears started pouring down my cheeks, and I was helpless to stop them. "Roy," I murmured sadly, "Whatever you're doing right now, I hope you're happy. I hope that you found someone special to spend the holiday with who loves you as much as I do. I hope that everything in Amestris is alright now, and that everyone is still healthy after the war. Merry Christmas, Roy Mustang. I'll love you forever."

**xXxMerryChristmas/HappyHolidays!xXx**

In a different world, Roy Mustang was unwrapping gifts with his son when he felt an unexplainable warmth in his chest. He would not understand what it meant until nearly ten years later.

After the gifts had been thoroughly played with and his young son sent to bed, Roy sat on his bed and remembered the previous Christmas, which he had spent with the only person he had ever truly loved.

_ "Roy, I love you _this _much."_

_ "I love you too, Edward."_

_ "Ed."_

_ "Huh?"_

_ "You never call me Ed. My name is Ed."_

_ "Your name is Edward."_

_ "It sounds too formal when you say that. Call me Ed."_

_ "Alright. I love you, Ed."_

_ "Love you too, Roy."_

Roy felt the salty wetness of tears dribbling down his face and over his lips. He was glad Selim did not have to see him this way. This first Christmas without his lover would be the most difficult, he hoped, and it would get easier after that. "Ed," he whispered to the empty room, "Wherever you are, can you come back to me soon? I miss you, and I have so much to tell you, and life isn't the same without you. Nothing has felt right since you left me. I don't want to fall asleep without you in my arms anymore. If you can, can you come back to me please? I'll love you forever, Edward Elric. Merry Christmas."

* * *

Well, Happy Holidays everyone! I hope that you all got to spend whatever holiday you celebrate (If you celebrate one at all) with your loved ones. I spent mine with my family, even though one of my sisters is on the other side of the country. We tried to get video chat and it didn't work, so we did a play-by-play over the phone. It was a good time, even though we wished she could have been here. Later, we're drinking wine and eating lots of tasty food, so I'm looking forward to that. Please review, everyone!


	38. Confrontations and Minor Deceptions

**A/N:** I'm not going to give excuses for the missed updates, I'm just going to apologize. Sorry I missed, I'll try to do better. On the plus side, this chapter is longer than the last few, so look forward to a good long read. You should thank my best friend for giving me a coffee pot for late Christmas so that I have a constant supply of hot drinks and my roommate (Read: Bum of an older sister) for finally moving out so that I could have a clean, quiet work space in which to write. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I live in my parents basement and spend most of my time playing playstation games and drinking tea. Does that sound like the life of a manga...artist? Ok, never mind, but I really don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

_**Chapter 33: Confrontations and Minor Deceptions**_

The beginning of my first day at Cambridge was better than I had expected. Walking into my first course of the day I was greeted amiably by several perfect strangers, but they seemed genuinely pleased to see me. It was odd, and yet I felt completely welcome. I only wish it had lasted.

"Gentleman, this is Edmund Elric. He's just transferred here, and as it is already a few weeks into the year, I hope that you will help him to catch up and get situated here." The professor of my first course had insisted on introducing me to the other students. I stood awkwardly at the front of the room, not sure what to do or where to look.

After a moment, I realized they were all looking at me as if they expected me to say something. "Um," I faltered, "Hello. You can call me Ed, it's what everyone else calls me." I tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear nervously. "I'm really glad to be here, and to be studying with all of you so...please give me your guidance." I nearly bowed as I had learned to do while on a mission in Xing a few years before, but luckily I remembered where I was in time.

"Wait," a voice piped up from the back, "That is a man?" This was followed by several snorts of laughter from around the room.

My eyes hardened and the friendly air I had tried to maintain was gone. "Yeah." I nodded once, curtly. "What of it?"

"You certainly do not have the look of a man," he replied, shaking his head at me arrogantly.

My hands balled into fists and I was just about to approach the stuck-up bastard when the professor inserted calmly, "Now gentlemen, you can fight after class. While in this classroom, you must behave civilly at all times."

I turned and gave the professor a slight, respectful bow (Who was I to disrespect my elders, after all?) and then made my way to an empty seat. There was no more discussion of my masculinity during that course.

**xXxPlaystationTime!xXx**

After the professor had finished his lecture we exited the classroom. I was just looking at my schedule to see where I was supposed to be next when I realized the abnormality of the sounds around me. Instead of the usual loud, raucous talk of a group of young men, there was only a low murmur of voices, barely audible. Pretending that I was still consulting my schedule, I leaned against a wall and tuned into the nearest group.

"He took out neither pen nor paper the entire lecture."

"Who does he think he is?"

"He is here on scholarship. If he does not study, he will be expelled."

"Let him be expelled then."

"Could he be crazy?"

"Of course he is. Did you see how he confronted me?" Ah, that voice belonged to the one who nearly called me a girl. I decided it was time to step in and make a name for myself here.

"Good day, Gentlemen. How do you fare?" I approached with a friendly smile and no hint of malice in my expression or gestures, despite my anger that they were talking badly of me behind my back.

"Ah, so the ponce wants to talk with us, does he?" The bastard stepped forward to confront me.

"You know, that's such an insulting word. Didn't your mother teach you manners?" I scoffed at him a little, just enough to upset him.

"Of course she did, but did yours? You seem to enjoy picking fights." The balling of his fists spoke his feelings, though he tried to hide them.

"Actually, she died when I was young. But she did teach me one thing: only pick fights with people who pick on you first." My posture was casual, and I showed no sign that my mother's death had effected me, though it had, greatly.

His turn to scoff, then. "I do not recall provoking you."

I glanced casually at my nails, seeming disinterested. "Pity. But you know...the last person who called me a girl met my fist." Here I placed an evil smirk, partially hidden by my hair. I was lying, but none of them would ever know that.

"Ha! As if I would fear such a small man. You are obviously a weakling, and no match for me." He seemed far too proud of himself, and if I didn't know better I would have expected an Armstrong style shirt-ripping muscle flex. As it was, I saw his chest puff up considerably.

Sighing, I began rolling my shirt sleeves up. "I was really hoping not to get dirty on my first day."

He snorted. "You will be rolling in the mud when I am finished with you, Ponce."

A slightly sad shake of my head. "You have no idea what you're in for. I almost pity you, really."

Another disbelieving snort and he came at me even less gracefully than I had anticipated. Damn, this one was going to be way too easy.

As his big, lumbering body neared I easily caught his arm, which was in the process of trying to punch me, and flipped him over my shoulder. "That's called using your own velocity and mass against you," I told him tauntingly.

Growling, he got up and again attempted to throw a fist in my face. I ducked and instead swiped a leg under his, dropping him once more to the ground. He groaned loudly, but stood for the second time, this time aiming a kick at my head.

I caught his leg, saying in a falsely proud voice, "Congratulations, you've discovered your other two appendages!" Then I took hold of his foot and twisted him around backwards, pushing hard. He landed on his face in the dirt. Dropping my knee down into the middle of his back, I knelt on top of him, grasping his hair firmly and pulling his head back so that I could see his face. I was smug, I have to admit. "My brother is seven feet tall and weighs nearly twice as much as you do," I told him, "Spar with that every day for five years and then come back and try messing with me again."

I stood, offering him a hand, but he slapped it away angrily. "That was pure luck," he insisted.

I smiled, shaking my head, and replied, "No, my dear man, that was Physics."

He glowered at me. "I ought to take your smug head right off your shoulders."

"You've already tried that. It didn't work so well the first time. Oh, and before I forget," and here I raised my voice enough that the crowd that had gathered around us could all hear, "Picking up from yesterday, recall Newton's second law of motion: The acceleration of an object is directly proportional to the net force acting on the object, is in the direction of the net force, and is inversely proportional to the mass of the object." From there I recited the lecture our physics professor had given word for word in its entirety. When I finished, all around me were awestruck. To close, I told them, "You don't take paper and pen along when the people you're supposed to be listening to will kill you if you're caught. When your life depends on it, you learn to memorize everything word for word when you've heard it once."

After that, I walked away, not looking back at their gaping faces. I had a feeling I would not have many friends here at Cambridge.

* * *

Be honest, who predicted Ed's first day at Cambridge being that eventful? Guh, I'm having trouble typing, I need to go do something different with my hands for a while. REVIEW PLEASE!


	39. Friends?

**A/N:** I'm sorry! I meant to post yesterday, and this has been collecting dust on my computer since Tuesday, but I've been sick and I completely forgot, and then I was at the doctor all morning because they were running way behind and I've only just found time to do it now! This chapter took a turn I didn't expect, but I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: **Guh, can't think of anything witty. Don't own FMA, but I wish I did.

* * *

_**Chapter 34: Friends?**_

Word of my performance traveled quickly. The whispers and stares followed me everywhere I went, and I started to wish I had just ignored the idiot and his stupid insults. I seriously needed to work on my bad temper, it was getting me in all sorts of trouble, lately. It took me a few days to realize just how much trouble.

I was on my way home, my last class of the day finished, when a voice called out, "Hey you!" I turned around automatically to see who it was, hoping he was not talking to me. Unfortunately, he was. "Yes you, Blondie," he insisted, "I need to talk to you, if you have a moment."

Great. The last thing I needed was another confrontation. Still, if I just walked away at this point my entire reputation would be ruined worse than it already had been. "Fine," I said unhappily, "What is it?"

"I saw your fight with Jackson a few days ago, and heard what you said afterward. Since then, I have been thinking about your last statement. With that, as well as with your fighting skills and intelligence, there is only one conclusion I seem able to come to." He looked truly distressed at saying this, and I wondered what he had dreamed up about me.

"Really," I asked, "and what is that?"

"Are you a spy?" he asked me, completely serious, his eyes boring into my own.

I had to think about this for a moment, and then I told him quietly, "Whether I am or not is none of your concern." I was thankful that we had not attracted much attention. We were in a more secluded area and many classes were due to start in only a few minutes. The few students around us were tired and more interested in getting home to rest than listening to our conversation.

"Please," he begged me, "I need to know! I...this is the most interesting thing that has ever happened to me."

"You have a sad, sad life if that is true," I told him pityingly.

"It is, I swear it! Please tell me, I would do anything!" He looked ready to fall on his knees begging, and I could hardly stand it.

"Look kid," I said, though I was relatively sure that he was older than me, "I don't even know who you are, and if I really was a spy, do you think I would tell that to a random stranger?"

He looked suddenly downtrodden, and I realized just how much this meant to him. He hung his head and looked ready to give up.

Feeling slightly bad for making him look like his best friend had died, I asked, "Well kid, do you have a name? I'm waiting here."

He looked up at me with slightly wide eyes and murmured, "I am Eric Baker. Pleased to make your acquaintance." He held out a hand for me to shake.

"Ed Elric," I replied, "The pleasure is all mine."

"So, now that you know who I am, can you tell me?" He looked excited. Ha, as if a simple introduction was going to make me trust him that much. For all I knew he could be lying about his name.

"It's not that simple, kid. I don't trust people that easily. I've made a lot of allowances for you already, so let's try being friends and see how that goes." I shook my head and smiled at him. The smile was small, but sincere.

Again, he looked disappointed, but then excited at the prospect of being my friend. "Alright. Do you have a lot of friends, Ed?"

"No," I replied, "I keep to myself a lot. It's easier that way."

"Easier when your cover is blown and you have to disappear, you mean?" he asked excitedly, suddenly back on the spy theory. I wondered if this kid was actually older than me.

"No. Easier to get my work done. I'm a busy man." That was all I would tell him, and refused to say more than two words at a time to him after that. Even so, he followed me all the way back to my dormitory, where he tried to follow me inside, but I shut the door in his face.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I wondered aloud as I fell backwards onto my bed. I had three essays to write that had to be turned in the next day but I did not have the energy to do it. I looked at the pile of books stacked neatly on my desk. It had been a few days, but I had not had time to unpack most of my belongings between classes and assignments. The only books I had bothered to get out were those that pertained to my course work. Really it was my fault that I was so busy in the first place. I had demanded that they put me in twice the recommended amount of courses, insisting that I would be able to keep up regardless. They said it normally took about four years to earn a degree. I wanted to halve that.

"I barely have time to keep up with my studies, let alone makes friends. Why did I let that guy guilt me into this?" Grudgingly, I stood and began organizing my materials for a very long essay-writing. I mused to myself that I would be lucky if I even had time to go to supper that night. I hoped I would; I was hungry.

* * *

Let me know if you see any typos, I didn't have the energy to proof-read it before posting. I'll go back and do it later, probably. I'm going to go watch Bad Family now, so please review.


	40. I Found A Kitten!

_Minor adjustments were made to this chapter on April 11, 2010._

**A/N: **I just...don't even have anything to say about this chapter other than I hate it. You have no idea how much. I try to love all of my chapters, or at least be pleased that I did my best, but...I hate it. Especially the ending, because it took a turn it was not supposed to but I can't fix it no matter how hard it try. Something I find mildly amusing but not enough to make me feel any better? It is exactly 700 words _(Not anymore, I must have broken it when I edited. Sad day.)_ Ah man, it's even way shorter than I wanted it to be! I need to spend less time watching videos of Super Junior on youtube and more time writing, I think that would fix a lot of things. I have school in the morning and forty gazillion things to get done so I should stop babbling in an author's note no one's going to read and go to bed.

**Disclaimer:** I hate it. I don't even own FMA and I absolutely hate this. But I have coffee, so it'll all be alright in the end.

* * *

_**Chapter 35: I Found A Kitten!**_

"Ed," a voice called to me from down the hall, "I found you!" Eric ran up to me where I had stopped in shock and bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing hard. "I have been looking all over campus for you!"

My eye twitched as I responded, "I've been in class."

"Really?" His eyes widened. "But you were already in six classes before this, and that is the maximum students are allowed to take per day."

"I got an exception." My eye was twitching even more now. He had _counted_ my classes? He seemed more like a stalker than a new friend.

"Wow," he murmured in awe, "You must be really smart."

"That is why they offered me a tuition-free education." I shifted the strap of my bag a little higher on my shoulder and started to walk away. Predictably, he followed me.

"That would be great. My tuition is paid by my father, but your father does not have to worry about paying yours." He was bouncing. It reminded me of Al when he found a kitten.

"I don't have a rich father who can pay my tuition for me," I told him. Where had I found this kid?

"Really? What does your father do?" He was all wide-eyed and innocent, and that just made me want to punch him.

"What I meant by that was that I don't have a father at all." I walked a little more quickly, hoping I could leave him behind.

"Everyone has a father! Has yours passed away?" He look sad for me at this question. I wished he wouldn't.

"No, last time I heard, the bastard was still alive. But he left us when I was young, and as far as I'm concerned he is not my father, whatever hand he had in my creation." I was almost back to my dormitory, if only I could get there and shut the door behind me before he started in on my mother.

"Oh," he whispered, seeming like he felt bad for asking. At least I knew he did have a little bit of a brain. "I apologize, I did not realize that I was pushing a sore subject for you."

I snorted. "Well, now you know. I don't like to talk about my family. Now, if you'll excuse me," I pushed open the door to my dorm, "I have an essay to write, and I would very much like to be finished before the evening meal."

Thankfully, he nodded and went away obediently. I walked into my room and shut the door, turning to set my bag by my desk...and hitting my head on a light fixture hanging on the wall. I turned to look at it, rubbing my injury, and realized that there was no possible way that at my height I would be able to hit my head on it. As soon as that realization sunk in, another hit me.

I was at least three inches taller than I had been when I came through the gate.

I had probably been growing all this time and had not realized it until now because things had not seemed much different to me. This made me wonder why I had not been paying attention to my height as I always had in the past, rejoicing when I gained even a millimeter. This thought was quickly discarded when I considered all the other things I'd had to focus on in the past months. "Roy would be proud of me," I thought fondly, recalling you, and your constant jabs at my height. "But...if I get taller I won't fit perfectly in his arms anymore." I shook my head at my foolishness, reminding myself that it didn't matter whether I would fit in your arms because you would never be able to hold me again.

Suddenly I felt cold, but I stubbornly sat down to write my essay. It was going to be a long and lonely night. I missed you. Oh, how I missed my dear, stubborn, infuriating lover.

* * *

Do you see now why I hate it? You should. Also, I think my chapter titles are getting increasingly random. Perhaps I shall start giving them names that make you excited for something that will happen in the chapter and then it never does. I think that would satisfy my sadistic side a little bit. Dear me I need to sleep...like right now. Review please, I'll make it worth your while by writing back some of my stupidity for you to laugh at. I know I would.


	41. Ooh, a Bomb!

**A/N:** SO, a couple things to tell you. First of all, I went back and edited like...all the chapters since the beginning of the Ed arc, not enough that you'll have to go back and read them though. Just know that from now on, Ed is referring to his Roy as "You" (Or in other words, in second person) and referring to England Roy as "Roy." It was meant to be like that the whole time, because he's telling to story TO his Roy, but something happened in the writing process and...yeah. I've fixed it now. The second thing was...I'm back? I think I've got my life back together, so as far as I know I'll be able to keep to the regular posting schedule until the end of the story. Look forward to it! ...I think I'm done now, go read my LJ if you want to know more about the hiatus (Again) and please enjoy the story.

**Disclaimer:** [puts hands up] It wasn't me, I swear! [points at azalea] It was Cecilia, she stole FMA! I had nothing to do with it!

* * *

_**Chapter 36: Ooh, a Bomb!**_

"Ed! Guess what I learned today!"

It had been a few weeks since I had met Eric, and I had long since gotten accustomed to his rather enthusiastic outbursts...that came every five minutes at least. So, without flinching, I continued walking as he ran up and fell into step with me, then asked casually, "What did you learn, Eric?"

"In Chemistry I learned how to make a bomb!" He seemed so excited about this, though I had no idea why.

"Oh good," I said sarcastically, "Just what we need, more idiots running around with bombs."

He frowned at me. "I would never actually use a bomb, Ed. I just enjoyed learning how they make them. You're not angry, are you?"

I rolled my eyes. He assumed I was angry every time I was sarcastic. I still had yet to convince him that this was just how I was. "No, Eric, I'm not angry." As I spoke to him, I mentally listed all the work I needed to get done that night, eventually deciding that I could eat before starting on it. There were only a few reading assignments that I had to do, and those would take me next to no time at all.

"...so if you want to bail on me now I totally understand," Eric finished, looking resigned.

I shook my head to clear it. "What did you say?" I asked him, "I wasn't listening."

"I was saying that you look preoccupied and that you most likely have a lot of work to get done tonight, so I can leave you alone if you want." He waited quietly for my response, looking like a puppy about to get kicked.

"Actually, I was thinking of going to have something to eat before I get started tonight. Care to join me?" I nodded in the general direction of the food facilities.

His smile immediately brightened, and he began skipping beside me as I walked towards the sustenance my body was desperately craving. "Awesome," he yelled, fist pumping the air, "This is the first time you've asked me to eat with you! I'm making progress!"

_'What am I getting myself into with this kid?'_ I wondered, not for the first time.

**xXxFiveChaptersWrittenxXx**

Dinner was surprisingly uneventful, despite my energetic companion. He watched me thoughtfully as we ate, seeming to ponder every movement of my jaw, the way I lifted my fork to my mouth, the way I cut my meat. It was slightly disturbing, but I ignored it for the most part.

"Ed," he murmured as I was close to finishing my meal, "Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?"

I spluttered into my drink for a moment. "Why would you ask me that, Eric?"

"I'm just curious," he insisted, looking at me intently.

I sighed, lifting my napkin to wipe my face and considering how to answer that question. I had not been expecting it and I wondered the true reason behind his sudden interrogation. "I was...I like to think that I still am, though I had to leave my lover rather abruptly and I don't know whether I will ever be forgiven."

He gazed at me sadly, pondering this. "What was her name?"

"That's not important, Eric."

"Was she pretty?"

"That's not quite the word I would use...." I thought of your reaction to being called 'pretty' and smiled just a bit.

"What word would you use, then?"

My smile widened as I pictured your face in my mind. It was still as clear to me as when I had first arrived. "Breathtaking," I whispered, "Absolutely breathtaking. So stunning that I wondered how I could ever compare, but somehow that gorgeous creature chose me."

"It sounds like you love her very much." He looked wistful now, as if he were imagining you in his mind, but I am sure his mental picture was very far off, as he still believed that you were a woman.

"So much that it hurts," I admitted, smile not failing.

"Were you planning to marry her?"

"No," I sighed, standing and preparing to leave, "It wasn't allowed."

"What do you mean?" he asked, chasing after me, "Was her family against it? Was yours?"

"No, neither of us had much family left to object. It just wasn't allowed." I began walking back to my dorm more quickly than normal.

"I don't understand, why wouldn't it be allowed?" he persisted, nearly dropping his book bag as he tripped over a bump in the path...or his own feet, I was not really paying attention.

"Look Eric, just drop it, alright? It was a long time ago, and it's not really a memory I want to dwell on. It's over, I'm never going to see my lover again, and it wouldn't have mattered if we got married because I would have had to leave anyway."

"Sorry," he mumbled, hanging his head, "I didn't think about your feelings before digging for information. I'm a horrible friend."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. Just learn where the line is and don't cross it next time. I don't like to talk about my life before I came to England, and I'd prefer that you respected that." With that, I entered my dorm and closed the door behind me. Maybe having dinner with Eric had not been such a good idea after all.

**xXxFiveChaptersWrittenxXx**

"Hey Ed!" I heard the yell and recognized it as Eric's. I had not seen him in a few days, he was probably feeling sorry for breaching sensitive subjects at dinner the other night. That was alright, I had needed some time to myself.

"Hello Eric," I said amiably as he ran up to me, "How are you today?"

"I'm fine. But listen Ed, today in Chemistry the Professor told me that I should try not to inhale too much of the chemicals we're working with, and when I asked him why he told me that I should ask you about it because you've been working with someone who did inhale too much. Is that true?" He smiled at me, panting after his story was finished.

"Did you just say all that in one breath?" I wondered, but shook my head before he had a chance to answer and instead told him, "Yes, it's true. I've been discussing it with the Professor too, which is why he knows," I explained before he could question me on that too.

"Really? Are you studying to be a doctor, Ed?"

His question caught me off-guard. I hadn't thought about what field I was planning to go into. I was officially in the Physics major, but I was taking courses outside my own field because of my research for Alfons and because I was more than able to take on the heavier workload. "I've...never though about it I guess," I told him, "But maybe...that might be something in which I would be interested."

"That would be amazing!" he gushed, clearly enjoying himself, "I could be friends with someone who was not only a spy, but a doctor too!"

I chuckled a little before saying in a falsely happy tone, "Eric, _do_ shut up, would you?" after which I turned on my heel to head to my next class, skipping just the tiniest bit for effect.

Unfortunately, I pranced right into someone I had hoped not to run into again. He was a man that I had discovered—through interrogating Eric—was called William Jackson, and he was also the man that I had had quite the brawl with on my first day there at Cambridge. He was apparently the richest and most influential man currently attending the university, but I could not say that he had any good attributes besides.

"Damn," I muttered, "And I was having a good day." I pushed myself away from him and stood up to my full height—all five feet seven inches of me now. I felt an odd sense of satisfaction as I realized that I was barely two inches shorter than him. He could not call me a tiny weakling any longer.

"You!" he growled as soon as he recognized me, "You are the one who embarrassed me a month ago. I think that it is finally time that I teach you a lesson!"

I snorted. "Here I thought that you were going to invite me to have tea with you. I don't want to fight you, idiot. To be honest, you're just not worth it. I'd much rather go to class and learn something." I started to walk away, but he stopped me with an arm.

"You are not going anywhere until you have accepted your punishment."

"Oh for...I'm not one of your stupid followers, dumb-ass. Go pick on someone who will follow you blindly and let themselves get the shit kicked out of them, because I'll be damned if I let some two-hundred pound lump of flesh beat me." I shoved his arm away from me and stalked off, but I knew that would not be the end of our arguments. In fact I was sure it was only the beginning.

* * *

Sorry about all the swearing at the end, it was Ed, not me, I swear. By the way, those scene break notes aren't lying. I really do have five more chapters that just need editing and then they'll be ready to post, so I will definitely be able to post on time for about the next month. But you should review and encourage me to keep getting farther ahead so that I won't have to take another hiatus even if something else drastic happens.


	42. Smallpox

**A/N: **I am so sorry, guys. I totally forgot to post yesterday, I was running on two hours of sleep and three cups of coffee, and then I decided to watch the first two Death Note movies with my sister. I absolutely love Kenichi Matsuyama, who plays L. He can keep his face completely blank even while doing all the odd things that L does, it's amazing. Anyway, I'm getting distracted. Here's the chapter, a little late, I promise I'll try not to let it happen again.

**Disclaimer:** The cops didn't believe me about Cecilia stealing FMA, so now I'm in jail. Thanks, you stupid azalea, I'm going to defenestrate you when I get out of here.

* * *

_**Chapter 37: Smallpox**_

"You're absolutely mad, Ed, you do know that?"

Eric had caught me after classes ended to give me a firm talking to about my confrontation with Jackson. "Yes, Eric, I'm aware of it. I also don't care. That asshole has pushed too many people around. People like him are one of the reasons I do what I do." So what if the main reason I had become an alchemist was for the sake of my brother and I? Seeing the kinds of horrible things I saw in my line of work, and then realizing that I could stop it, how could I not? My reasons for joining the military were selfish, but in the end I was working for the good of others, because it seemed everywhere I went I met someone who reminded me a little bit of myself, and the grief I had borne. If there was anything I could do to prevent other people from suffering the way I had, I was willing to do it. No one should ever have to feel that way.

"But Ed, he and his cronies are going to kill you now." He laid a hand on my arm, and he looked truly worried about me.

"I'll be fine. I kicked his ass once already, remember? Maybe I'm a little out of practice, but if his friends' skills are as bad as his, I'll be able to take at least thirty of them down easily." I put on the proud-on-the-borderline-of-snobbish look that I had perfected since arriving there and stalked slightly ahead of him.

"Just...be careful, alright? I wouldn't want to hear that you'd somehow landed yourself in hospital." He trotted to keep up and looked at me imploringly with those wide, innocent eyes of his. Honestly, for being nineteen, the boy certainly didn't act it. The puppy dog eyes were something children did to get their way with their parents. I couldn't imagine that his parents would still tolerate that sort of behavior unless he was terribly spoiled, which he hadn't proven to be as yet.

"Alright, I'll be careful. I promise you that I won't end up in hospital any time soon. Happy?"

I supposed happy was an understatement as he pounced on me with glee and chirped, "Good! Now, to dinner? You look absolutely starved, you should eat more."

He was spot on when he said I hadn't been eating as I should. I was studying a lot, more than I think I ever had in Amestris, even while I was a dedicated alchemist searching for the philosopher's stone. In fact, I was having trouble even sleeping with all the work I found piling up. I'd really only skipped a few meals, dinner here and there, the occasional breakfast when I was too tired or too nauseas from lack of sleep to eat, and lunch once or twice when I'd had meetings with professors over the hour or so that I usually ate, because that was the only time in my schedule when I could meet with them. I'd never gone an entire day without food, and in fact I usually made sure that if I missed one meal, I didn't miss any others on the same day. It wasn't a big deal, it's not like I was dying.

"Dinner, dinner, dinner," Eric was singing as he practically skipped down the path ahead of me. As I watched him I pondered that I wasn't the only one who was looking a little thin. He seemed like he could use an extra meal now and then. I flexed my right hand, made strong from long months of cooking and hauling large crates and sacks of ingredients. Maybe...if I could find a location, and some time, maybe I could make meat pies for Eric. Just once, and largely because I missed it, and really wanted to be able to work again. Maybe when I was done with my schooling I would help Mr Danielson expand his business.

How many students were there like me, who didn't have time to eat because they were too busy studying? They might not be quite the same, because I was taking on an immense workload, but I was sure many of them were busy, flitting from place to place so quickly that catching a meal just wasn't an option. How many of those students would stop for a minute or two and buy something that they could eat while they walked? I was willing to bet that it would be quite a large number.

"Come on, Ed, walk faster!" Eric called to me from up ahead. As I was thinking my pace had slowed, so that I was no longer keeping up with him. I quickened my steps and shook thoughts of business from my head for the time being. After I had gotten my degree, there would again be time for that.

**xXx**

"Ed, you never finished telling me about that person," Eric insisted as we ate. I noticed that he was doing more talking than eating, and I wondered slightly if there was more going on than just having a heavy workload. I would keep quiet for now, I had no proof that there was anything wrong, he was probably just excited to be eating with me for once.

"Which person?" I asked, sticking a spoonful of beef stew in my mouth. It was not the best stew, but it still reminded me of home, which I was desperate for more and more as time went by.

"The one you're working with, who inhaled too many chemicals." He gestured vaguely with the knife he was supposed to be using to butter his roll.

"Ah, him. Stop waving that around and eat something, and I'll tell you." I looked pointedly at the knife he held, and he looked sheepish and returned to buttering his roll. When he had finished and taken a bite, I began, "He's my cousin, actually." Which was true...sort of. He was Edward's cousin, and I was Edward's 'brother,' therefore he must be my cousin as well. "His name is Alfons. He builds rockets and makes rocket fuel, it's his job. But many of the fumes that he inhales during his work are very harmful to the lungs, and I've been working together with my brother and a doctor that I met through one of the professors here at Cambridge to try and find a cure."

"What does your brother do?" His mouth was still partially full, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

"He's a scientist. He's never been to university, didn't need to. He created his own laboratory, and through his work he got noticed by the government, who started giving him grants to keep doing what he was doing. Which worked out fine for him, since he really just cared about the science and didn't want to have to hold his other job anyway. I'd been working with him the last few months, until I got the letter inviting me to come here." I scraped up the last of my stew with a roll and ate it. Then I reached for my dessert—chocolate cake. It looked good, and it had been a while since I'd gotten to have sweets.

"What did you do before you worked with your brother?" He looked like he regretted the question, as I'd told him several times that I didn't like to talk about my past, but I just smiled disarmingly at him and he didn't take it back.

"Before I worked with my brother, I was Ed the Meat Bun Guy." I continued smiling, and then began to laugh as he apparently pictured it and snorted, the tea he had just sipped beginning to trickle out his nose. He picked up his napkin hurriedly to clean the mess, and I pulled out my handkerchief—which Gracia had encouraged me to start carrying—and handed it to him, joking, "You don't need to give it back."

Crisis averted, he got back to his questions, "Did you really sell meat buns?"

"Truly. It paid the bills, and it's kind of a nice skill to have. I'll have to show you sometime." I took a bite of cake and nearly moaned at how good it tasted. It had definitely been too long since I had last had cake.

"What did you do before that?" He took another sip of tea, warily this time.

"Before that...I was in Asia for a while." It was part of the story that Edward and I had come up with, figuring that my time spent in Xing would make it possible for me to fake it relatively well, as I had learned that the two places were similar. Though I felt bad lying to Eric like that, I also didn't trust him enough just yet to give him the true story. Not that I was even sure he would believe me, although I was sure it would be easier to convince Eric than it had been with Roy.

"Where in Asia?" He had noticed that I wasn't dodging his questions as I usually did, and he was milking it for all it was worth, the little twit.

"All over. I did a lot of traveling, learned a lot of things. It was a good experience, though I probably wouldn't do it again." The first bite of my cake had been slow, savoring, but all subsequent bites had increased in speed until the cake ceased to exist. I picked up my tea to sip as I digested.

He seemed to accept that answer, and moved on to another question, "So how is Alfons doing now?"

My face darkened, and I moved my gaze down to the table. "I haven't seen him since I came here, but the letters from Edward have seemed optimistic. He says that Alfons has been wearing a cloth mask while working, and it seems to be preventing the illness from developing further, but most of the doctors he's seen have already deemed him incurable, and think that there's nothing we can do but watch him die. Roy and I—"

"Wait, who's that?"

"Ah, excuse me, Roy is the doctor that we've been working with. Roy and I have tried everything we can think of, but there's still no cure to be found. Alfons may only have months left and still...still there is nothing." I held back tears only because we were in a public place. I trusted Eric not to think bad of me for crying for someone who was important to me.

"I know...I know how it is to lose someone you love, Ed. But I also know that there are ways to save them, if only you'll do it. I nearly lost my sister to smallpox when I was fifteen, but even when the doctor had deemed her too far gone to save, I stayed by her side, even though I knew that I might take ill too, and I cared for her until she recovered and regained her strength. She's now eighteen and getting married in a month." He smiled fondly at the memory of his sister, and it lightened my heart to see it.

"Thank you, Eric. You're a good man, and I'm so glad that you still have your sister."

"I am as well. Life would not be the same if I had lost her." He looked away then, and added to his story something that he had neglected before. "Two days before she fell ill, we lost our older brother to smallpox. I was forced to stay away, and I still think to this day that if only I had been there for him as I was for her perhaps he would have lived." A tear fell to the table with a gentle 'plop,' and I watched his shoulders shake and reached out to put a comforting hand on one.

"We cannot blame ourselves for our past mistakes, we can only learn from them and move on," I told him softly, "I have done terrible things in my lifetime, things that I will never be able to take back, and I know that there is no way that I can atone for them. I can only continue living. We cannot wallow in past regrets, we must bear our sins and move on."

His hand reached up to clasp mine, and I felt for the first time that Eric was truly my friend. We could support each other when we had no one else. That was what friendship was about.

* * *

Done. Review please, I'm going to go take a nap now.


	43. Prejudice

**A/N:** So...you're probably wondering why I posted early. There are two reasons. First: I felt bad for making the last update so late, and second: I'm going away for the weekend and will not be bringing Doris (My laptop) with me. Therefore, early update for you all! Exciting chapter, here. I hope you guys enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: **I'm still in jail because my plant stole FMA. It really wasn't me, I swear, and I still don't own it.

* * *

_**Chapter 38: Prejudice**_

For two weeks I had been watching Eric. I invited him to eat with me more often, when I didn't have time I reminded him that he should eat to see his reaction, and I kept an eye on his weight. One thing I was sure of: he was getting thinner. His face was gaunt and his clothes hung off of him as if he were only bones and no flesh. I was worried. Something besides stress and a busy schedule was going on. Though I was almost positive that Eric had an eating disorder, I was not sure what I should do about it. Should I confront him directly, or try to get him help? I had never been in such a situation before, and I was lost as to how I should handle it.

For a few more days I continued to watch and wait, but it quickly became evident to me that if I did not do something Eric could die. On the other hand, if I did try to help him and he rejected it, I could very well lose my only friend at Cambridge. In my heart I knew what I had to do, and even if it cost me Eric's friendship I could be happy knowing that he was going to be alright.

**xXx**

I got up the courage to confront him the next day. It was going to be hard, but I knew that it was important. "Eric, can I talk to you?" I asked him after classes. I was incredibly thankful that I had no homework to do that night, because this might be a long discussion.

He looked at me, a bright smile (Though not as bright as it used to be) plastered onto his thin face. "Of course, Ed. I always have a spare minute for you."

"Let's go somewhere quiet," I said, leading him out of the building and heading across the lawn to the shade of a tall oak tree. I gestured to him to sit down beneath it and then sat facing him. _'I can do this,'_ I reminded myself, _'He's my friend, he'll listen to me. But I have to be calm and rational about this.'_

I took a deep breath, and said firmly but quietly, "Eric, this is going to be hard for both of us, but I felt that the issue needed to be addressed, because I can't stand to see you doing this to yourself anymore."

He looked nervous, with good reason, I supposed, as I had made it relatively obvious that I knew about his problem.

"You haven't been eating," I sighed, "You've been getting thinner and thinner and it hurts me to see it. You have an eating disorder, Eric, and it needs to stop."

"What are you talking about, Ed?" He raised an eyebrow, trying to look confused and innocent, but I saw the mask he had put up.

"You know bloody well what I'm talking about, Eric, and for once in your life you'll listen to me. You're purposely not eating. It's not good for you, and if you continue it you could die. I won't let that happen to you. I don't care what reasons you have for doing this, I don't care if you're depressed or if your lover left you or if you're failing all your classes. You will find another way to make yourself feel better about it and you will stay alive." I was breathing hard, and I had run out of words to speak. This was it, if I couldn't get through to him I was going to a professor for help.

"Ed...How do you know me so well?" His eyes were tearing up, and for a moment I was unsure of what to do, but it came to me in the next moment and I wrapped him in my arms as if he were a child.

"Because I know myself, and we are similar to a fault in some ways. You were hurting, and I couldn't bear to sit by and watch you kill yourself when there was something I could do to stop it." I stroked his hair gently and murmured to him softly until he could speak again.

"Thank you, Ed. I...I know you're right. You always are, it seems. I needed that, you scolding me. But...I don't know how to stop, now that I've been doing this for so long." He made no move to leave my embrace, and I was disinclined to release him just yet. He needed the comfort, I could tell.

"We'll do it together, then. It's going to be a long, hard road, but I'll be with you every step of the way. Don't worry, you will heal. It will take time, but you will heal." I sat with him in my arms for long moments, stroking his hair and back, murmuring comforting words.

"Aw, isn't the little homo couple cute?" a mocking voice rang out. I let go of Eric slowly, showing the speaker that his comment hadn't affected me as much as he had hoped. With every move deliberate, I turned to face him.

"You again," I sighed, shaking my head at William Jackson and standing so that I could be at eye level with him. I was more intimidating that way, I hoped.

"Most homosexuals at least have the decency to keep their 'relationships' out of public view." He spat the word 'relationships' as if it were the dirtiest swear word he knew. I was beginning to hate this man more and more. My choice of lifestyle did not make me any less of a person, and the same was true for everyone else.

"Prejudice," I told him, my teeth gritted, "Is a horrible thing. I will not tolerate it in my presence, so I suggest you leave as soon as possible."

He actually had the gall to laugh at me at that point, which was a decidedly bad idea. I still had a bit of that old temper that got me into so much trouble when I was younger. "Trying to protect your boyfriend, Ponce? He doesn't look worth it." He shot a look at Eric then that made my blood boil. It was a look of absolute disgust and contempt, and it was also the last straw. The walls I had built to contain my temper were all torn down by a rapid flood of rage.

"One thing you should never do is insult people in front of me. I have this habit of protecting the weak, and you've just made me angry." Before he could react to my words I flew at him, a spinning kick already aimed at his head and a fist prepared to strike him in the ribs. This would be quick, and it would be painful, but I knew there was no way to stop myself at that point.

I do not really have clear recognition of what I did to him, only that he was crumpled and bleeding in front of me by the time the red film of rage began to fade from my vision. I glanced around at Jackson's cronies, who had followed him there and had apparently watched the whole thing. A glare aimed at each of them prompted them to scoop the puddle their leader had become off the ground and run away as fast as they could go.

"Ed," a soft voice mumbled behind me, "Thank you."

I turned to look at Eric and a gentle smile curved my mouth. "Don't thank me. Saving people is kind of my thing. I just do it naturally now. Let's go eat." I held out my hand to him, seeing the uncertainty in his face, and squeezed his hand when he put it in mine.

"Jackson is going to keep harassing you, you know," he reminded, walking side-by-side with me. I didn't fail to notice that he let go of my hand fairly quickly. That was alright, if he didn't feel that he needed comfort any more, then I would not force it onto him.

"I know, but he would have even without your help, so it doesn't matter. But you were worth it. I like you, Eric, you're a good guy. You're the only student at Cambridge who is nice to me, and I'm thankful for that. If I can help you in return, then I want to." I smiled at him again, and he seemed to accept this answer, though there was a look behind his eyes that I could not comprehend.

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Ah, I think I might have found some plot! There really is a point to all this, or I wouldn't be dwelling in Cambridge for so long. Please review, it makes the story come to me faster!


	44. First Kiss

**A/N:** New chapter. I'm so glad I had this written ahead of time, because I'm really sick and I would never have gotten it posted otherwise. I still have two more chapters in stock, and I'm hoping that I'll be better soon (Though we have no idea what's wrong with me) so that I'll be able to add to that. For now, please enjoy the chapter, it's a fun one!

**Disclaimer: **I'm just a radioactive tree, I can't own anything. (hides)

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_**Chapter 39: First Kiss**_

Getting Eric to eat again was difficult. Not that he was not willing, but his body had trouble accepting the food again after going without for so long. We started slowly, with liquids that would get him the nutrients he required—broth, fruit and vegetable juices, and whatever else I could find. After a day or two we were able to move him up to soft foods, and soon after that he was eating normally again.

During this time I was with him almost constantly, to make sure he kept eating and to support him. I could tell it was hard, but I was glad that he had been so willing to get help. I walked him to all of his classes and spent all my free time with him. When he had no classes but I did I got permission from the professor to have him come sit in on the lecture. I went to meals with him, and because I was forcing him to eat every meal, I had stopped skipping them and I was getting healthier as well. At night, I would walk him back to his dorm and make sure he got inside before I left. I did everything I could for him.

Little did I know that that would cause him trouble later.

**xXx**

"Dirty Homosexual, are you looking at us with lust, too? Are you going to try and turn us into homosexuals?" I heard the men speaking before I saw them, and my pace sped up as my anger rose. Why was there no tolerance for differences here? This university was supposed to help people open their minds, but the students were some of the most closed-minded people I had ever met.

I turned the corner and saw Eric standing outside his classroom cowering against the wall as three older men towered over him. _'Not this again,' _I thought desperately, _'He has enough problems without people lowering his self-esteem like that.'_ Without really thinking, I yelled, "Hey! Assholes!"

One of the men turned to look at me, and seemed to recognize me at once. "Look, it's his boyfriend," he murmured, jabbing one of the other guys in the side with his elbow. "Come to save your lover?" he taunted. I realized that he must have been one of Jackson's followers. That was the only way that he would associate Eric and I immediately.

I stalked forwards, again without much thought, and said, "What if I have?" Eric shook his head emphatically at me, but I pretended not to notice. "My lover is mine to protect, is he not?" I was making things up as I went, but all I really knew at that point was that I needed to end it and get Eric out of there as soon as possible.

I had not expected them all to stare at me in shock. "You're actually a bloody ponce?" one asked.

I laughed, strode past them all to reach Eric, and, leaning in and whispering "Sorry" into his ear, I planted a firm kiss on his lips. He did not move, nor did the men who had been harassing him. I ended the kiss quickly and moved to nuzzle his hair gently instead. In this position I could easily speak to him without the others hearing. "Sorry," I murmured again, "I pulled a plan out of my ass, I hope this doesn't end up making it worse. I just need to get you out of here."

He played his part well after getting over the initial shock, burying his face in my shoulder and sighing slightly. "It's fine, I just want to leave. Dinner?"

I nodded imperceptibly into his hair and mumbled, "Sounds like a plan. Whatever you do, don't let go of me until we're sure we're out of their sight, okay?" I felt a nod into my shoulder. "Then let's go."

With my arm around his shoulders, his timidly around my waist and his head leaning slightly on mine, we walked past the men who had taunted him and out of the school building. I had saved him again, but I wasn't sure how I felt about unconsciously betraying you that way by kissing another man. I had a feeling you would forgive me, since it was done to protect someone, but I was still unsure.

**xXx**

Eric was quiet as we sat down and began dinner, but after a few minutes he looked around to see if anyone was watching us and then asked quietly, "Why did you do that, Ed?"

I looked up from my meal with a confused frown. "Do what?" I asked, "Save you? Don't tell me I shouldn't have done it."

"No Ed, I meant why did you...kiss me?" He blushed and shifted his gaze to his lap, where he was doubtless wringing his hands, though I could not see.

I was silent for a moment, and I let him make his own assumptions about what that meant. Perhaps I should not have, but it seemed a wise idea at the time. When my answer finally came, it was slow and thought out. "When I saw them harassing you, I didn't really think a whole lot, I could just tell that I needed to get you out of there before something bad happened. Honestly, I just did the first thing that came to mind. Sorry, I guess I should have made a better plan, but I haven't had to think on my feet like that for a while."

He looked up at me, though he did not smile. "It's alright, Ed. You were trying to protect me, I understand. But...I wish that I didn't need protecting."

I smirked a little. "I can help you with that. It's been a while since I've had a sparring partner."

His eyes widened. "What?" he asked in alarm, "What are you planning to do to me?"

"Not to you, Eric, _for_ you. I'm going to teach you to defend yourself." We finished our meals and got up. "Tomorrow," I promised, "We're going to begin your training."

**xXx**

By some miracle, I'd found a location for Eric's training where there would not be a lot of spectators to make him nervous. I had talked to one of the professors and gotten permission to use an older indoor tennis court in the evenings. So here we were, and I was teaching him the basics of fighting and self defense. He was taking to it surprisingly well.

I wiped my face with a towel. "Good work, Eric. This is going to be easy, you'll see. You're doing really well on the basics so far, and I predict that you'll be able to advance faster than most."

He smiled a little, shaking his head. He hadn't been acting as cheerfully as usual all day. I wondered if there was something wrong. "It's hard, and exhausting. How am I ever going to learn all that?"

"It's all about practice, Eric. Practicing enough that your muscles just remember how to do it all and you don't have to give thought to every movement anymore. You'll get it. Remember, it's only your first day." I picked up my jacket and gestured him to follow me. We left the tennis court and headed back to the dorms. "I've been training since I was young, which is why I'm so much better than you, but given time you'll be great, probably better than I've ever been."

"I don't believe that. But do you really think that I'll be good at this?" He looked at me imploringly, and I could tell that he really hoped I would say yes.

"You said you didn't want to need protecting anymore, right?" He nodded. "This is the first step. If you have the ability to fight off a physical attack, the ability to fight off verbal attacks will slowly come as well. Of course, you can always just shut them up," I joked, punching my open palm. It made him chuckle, which was what I was going for; he needed to laugh more.

We stopped in front of his dorm room door, and I waved a little. "Don't forget to meet me outside the dorm at dawn tomorrow," I reminded him, "Self-discipline is the key. But if you can't discipline yourself then I'm going to be in your room doing it for you. Either way, you're getting up."

He smiled slightly and nodded, disappearing into his room.

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That was pretty exciting, right? Right? You can say it, I'm horrible at this. If I didn't feel so bad I would make this chapter better. Anyway, please review!


	45. Falling Into the Rhythm

**A/N: **Chapter...this is one. I don't know what I'm saying right now, I'm so out of it, so please just read and enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I don't have the energy to move, let alone own something like FMA.

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_**Chapter 40: Falling Into the Rhythm**_

The next morning Eric was outside the dorm wearing clothes fit for exercise at dawn, as he'd promised. He looked tired, but I knew he was unused to waking so early and that he would gradually fall into the pattern and be more energetic. I smiled as I approached him. "Are you ready?" I asked cheerfully.

"For what? You never told me what we would be doing," he said, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"We're going to run. Secret number two of protecting yourself: avoid conflict altogether. This sometimes requires a quick escape." I stretched lightly, warming up my muscles for the physical activity.

"Seriously? You're teaching me to run away?" He looked speculative, and I didn't blame him. After all, I _did _sound a little bit crazy.

"Are you questioning your teacher?" I joked, "But to answer your question, yes and no. Sometimes running away is the best line of action, but regular exercise plays another important role: It strengthens your muscles and raises your endurance. With training you may be able to stand your ground in a fight, but without endurance to back it up, if the fight gets long, you're going to lose." I touched my toes one last time (Which was harder to do than it had been before I had grown) and then turned, gesturing for him to follow me. "End of lecture, let's get running. We still have to change and eat breakfast before classes."

I started off and he followed me, uncomfortably at first, but soon falling into the rhythm and the breathing pattern. We ran in silence for nearly a mile and a half, and I was proud of him for making it that far. To cool down as we made it back to the dorms, I slowed us to a jog and finally to a walk. It felt good to run, I had been more focused lately on my studies and looking out for Eric than on taking care of myself, which had included neglecting my morning run.

Old habits were returning to me, and I longed to go and spar with Al to finish my morning workout, though I knew it was impossible. _'But,'_ I thought comfortingly to myself, _'Soon I'll have a new sparring partner, and I can already tell that he's going to be very good when he's gotten some training.'_

**xXx**

"Eric, guess what?" I asked him as he exited his classroom.

He smiled at me (His smile was getting a little brighter every day. I think the good diet and the exercise were helping.) and responded, "I don't know. What?"

"You remember about a month ago you asked me if I was going to be a doctor?" It seemed that for a moment we had traded roles. I was nearly bouncing up and down with excitement. It had been ages since I had been so enthusiastic about anything.

"I recall that. What about it?" His question was asked off-handedly, but as things started to fall together in his mind I saw recognition slowly light his face. "You're going to be a doctor?" he asked, his smile growing brighter as the idea was allowed to grow.

I gave an energetic nod. "I talked to my advisor today, and he's told me that I can simply add another major. Most of the basic medical courses are already on my schedule anyway, so I can continue as I have been. I think it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. And really, it's all thanks to you, because without your prompting I would never have even considered it."

"Ed...that's amazing. Wow! You're going to be a doctor." He hugged me, and I gladly accepted it. I had definitely decided that Eric was one of the best friends I had ever had, and surely my best friend in England. He was a great guy, and I couldn't believe that I was so blessed as to know him.

The jeers and insults thrown from Jackson's followers (Who seemed to be everywhere, probably because they were) broke through the happy fog and brought us down to earth. I smirked at them, gave a jaunty little wave, and murmured to Eric, "Secret number two." We took off, laughing, towards the tennis court to have our training session before dinner.

**xXx**

We went to dinner after training, and I was glad to see how eagerly Eric ate. He was beginning to get some meat on his bones again, and it was a comforting thing to notice. Everything was going fine as we got up to leave...until Jackson came up to us. Usually he did not bother us at meals, but apparently he had decided that it was a good time.

"What do you want?" I asked him, unconsciously putting myself slightly in front of Eric. Jackson watched this with a critical eye.

"Protecting your lover, are you? I heard what you two have been doing. Having sex in public places, are we?" he sneered at us. I could not stand this man any longer. Kicking the shit out of him multiple times seemed to have no effect on him, and I must confess that I had never dealt with anyone quite like that before.

I snorted at him. "Not with you," I said sarcastically, "You're not really my type. Too much muscle and not enough brains." I made sure that I was speaking loud enough that anyone who cared to listen would be able to hear. Let this story travel, I didn't care.

"That was disgusting," he insisted, "You are the most infuriating person I have ever met."

"Funny, I was about to say the same about you. Also, I'll have you know that if you weren't such a snobbish asshole I would never have bothered with you at all." I stepped forward slightly, putting myself fully between him and Eric. Whatever happened, I knew that Eric was not ready to protect himself just yet. _'Let me fight your battles for you for just a little longer,' _I thought at him, _'You'll be ready soon, but not yet. Let me do this.'_

"What did I do? You are the one who has been attacking me since your first day." He had the gall to look offended.

"As I recall, I introduced myself to the class and you insulted me and called me a woman." A low murmur passed through the room as students who had been there related the story to others.

"I did no such thing," he protested, a look which he must have thought innocent on his face.

"Really?" I asked, "Let's get a witness report then." I pointed at a young woman (One of far too few at the university) and said, "You there. You were there, were you not?" At her nod, I continued, "Then do you recall what happened that morning?" I asked her with all the grace of a lawyer.

Trembling (Though I had no idea why) she stood and told everyone in as strong a voice as she could muster, "Mr Elric was introducing himself, and Mr Jackson asked if he was really a man. When Mr Elric confirmed it, Mr Jackson insisted that it was impossible and they were about to start a fight when the professor interrupted." She sat abruptly, apparently finished with her statement.

"Now then," I followed, "All of you," I addressed the crowd, "Can see who was at fault in that particular incident, can you not?" There was a murmur of assent, and cheerfully I said, "Let's continue then, shall we?" I proceeded to analyze every single confrontation between us and bring up witnesses for each, sometimes several when their stories were incomplete. A few times I had to call on Eric to fill in details, but for the most part I left him out of it.

Finally, I finished my case, looking to Jackson. "Do you have a defense?" I asked him swiftly. I happened to know that he was a law major, but as I watched him splutter and accomplish nothing useful at all, I knew that I had won. Eventually he realized that no one was paying attention to him (I was examining my nails and many people had returned to their meals.) and his speech trailed to a stop. "Ladies and gentlemen," I called, regaining their lost focus, "Have we reached a verdict?"

A professor—whom I had not noticed before—stood and called back, "I do believe we have, Mr Elric. Those who believe that Mr Elric is innocent of all charges of harassment and assault on the exception of self-defense say 'I.'" There were unanimous 'I's throughout the room. "Those who believe that Mr Jackson is guilty of those same charges for being a royal bastard, say 'I.'" Again, unanimous 'I's rang out. "Those opposed to these charges say 'nay.'" The room was quiet then, and I silently exulted. Another victory. I had missed the feeling of defeating evil so completely.

"Mr Elric, I do believe you have your verdict. Now that you do, I want you in my class. You have the talent to be a great lawyer." The professor smiled widely at me, and I could not help but smile back.

"I'm terribly sorry professor, but I'm already going to be a doctor and a physicist. I'm afraid that there is no room left in my schedule."

"A pity, you could perhaps have been the greatest lawyer England had ever seen. Still, I wish you luck in your ventures."

"Thank you professor," I said, bowing respectfully, "I will try to make all of Cambridge proud." Turning from him, I went to Eric. I had heard, as I was speaking, the little hitches in his breath that meant he was trying not to cry. Without a word, I took his hand and led him out of there. I did not have to stop and think before taking him to my dorm. He needed comfort, and a place where he could cry without being ashamed of his tears. I could give him that.

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Haha, just realize that I've finally reached chapter 40! Woot! Please leave me a review to encourage me to make it to 50! (Oh man, I really hope there aren't that many chapters.)


	46. New Boyfriend

**A/N: **Bwahaha, another chapter! I don't have any more written right now, but I swear I will have it done by next week's deadline, or I will personally shoot myself. That being said, please enjoy the chapter, it's really long and lots of stuff happens.

**Disclaimer: **I killed Cecilia the Azalea for framing me for stealing FMA. It's not mine, please don't put me in jail again.

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_**Chapter 41: New Boyfriend**_

We entered my room and I shut the door behind us. Eric seemed not to realize where we were at first, but at the sound of the lock clicking into place his head shot up and he looked frantically at me. "No, I shouldn't be here. I'll just go, I'll be fine." He tried to leave, but I stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

"I can't just let you leave like this, Eric. You're a wreck, and I don't want you to hurt yourself. I can't let anything happen to you." I pulled him over to my bed and sat him down, seating myself next to him. "I don't know what's happened to you, Eric, and I'm not going to ask you to talk about it unless you want to. What I do know is that what happened with Jackson earlier affected you a lot and that the last thing you need right now is to be alone. So just let me stay with you, alright?"

A tear ran unbidden down his cheek, and a gentle sob escaped his throat. He did not say a word, but the way he buried his face in my shoulder and allowed me to wrap my arms around him comfortingly spoke volumes. He trusted me enough that he would let me see him cry, something he hid from the world. I was, possibly, the only person outside his family who had been given that privilege. I felt an honor deeper than I knew how to express.

After he had cried all his tears, I patted his shoulder gently and suggested, "We have studies to complete, do we not? Work first, and then we can rest." I picked up his bag from where it had been left on the floor and handed it to him, silently inviting him to study in my room.

He stayed, and we worked quietly for a while, until I heard a soft noise coming from him. I turned and realized that he had fallen asleep and was snoring. I chuckled to myself and then went over and took his book carefully away, shifting him into a more comfortable position and leaving him there on my bed to sleep for a while. I was relatively sure, anyway, that he was nearly finished with his work. What he had left could surely wait until morning.

I went back to my own studies, finishing an essay and then a reading assignment before finally deeming myself done. I stood, glancing at Eric, and decided to let him stay the night. It surely could not start any more rumors about us than were already circulating. I prepared myself for bed and found my spare blankets, laying out a bed on the floor. I had been tempted just to share the bed with him, but was afraid it would make him feel uncomfortable.

As I was about to lie down, Eric shifted and sighed deeply, opening his eyes slowly. "Ed?" he asked, "Did I fall asleep?"

"It's fine, Eric. You can stay for the night, I'll sleep on the floor." I sat down on my pile of blankets, ready to crawl under them and sleep.

"No, I'll just go back to my room. I don't want to trouble you." He looked embarrassed and guilty, as if he should not have fallen asleep in someone else's dorm.

"I can't have you wandering about at night, you look so exhausted that you would probably fall down some flight of stairs somewhere and get yourself a concussion. Just stay, you're not putting me out at all, I promise." He had started to untangle himself from the covers on the bed, and I tried to stop him, but he pulled away and continued his task.

"At least don't let me take your bed. I'll sleep on the floor." He finally released himself from the blankets and began to get up shakily, looking as though the little sleep he had gotten had been his first in about a week.

I stood and pushed him back down. "Stay. You look like you're about to faint. Just sleep, I'll worry about myself."

"No, I can't." He looked alarmed that I would do that for him. "I shouldn't trouble you, it's not polite."

"Has anything you've done to me so far been polite?" I asked pointedly, "I take care of my friends, Eric. Sleep now, I'll talk to you in the morning."

Reluctantly, he laid back down as a small smile graced his face. "You called me your friend," he murmured as he fell once more into slumber.

I was startled at his words. Surely I had called him my friend at some point? I couldn't have completely neglected showing him how much he meant to me. In my mind, I went back through various conversations that I had had with him, and I quickly determined that while I had definitely shown him that I liked him, I had never specified that I really thought of him as a friend. I felt suddenly very sorry to him. He had probably been living with that insecurity for a while, and I had not seen it, or done anything to help fix it. I vowed to call him my friend more often in the future.

Watching his sleeping face, I pulled the blanket just a bit higher on his chest. "Yes Eric, you've forced yourself into my life and made me your friend whether I wanted it or not," I whispered, though I knew he would not hear me. Smiling slightly, I added, "And I'm glad you have. I needed a friend in this place."

**xXx**

I woke the next morning to the rising of the sun, as I always did. I groaned slightly at the uncomfortable ache in my neck and back, and realized that it was because I had slept on the floor. I glanced up at Eric, who still slept soundly, and stood carefully to begin folding up my makeshift bed.

I put the spare blankets away and had just finished dressing when a sigh and then a soft groan from the bed told me that my temporary roommate had awoken. I looked to him with a smile as he sat up, rubbing his head and wincing.

"Alright there, Eric?" I asked as I continued readying myself for the day, turning to my bag to ensure that I had packed everything that I would need for the day. He seemed to be more exhausted than was logical, even with the long practice the night before and waking up at dawn for more training. I was worried. Had he taken ill and had not told me? Surely he would have, right?

When I spoke he looked up at me with wide, startled eyes. "I should not have stayed," he said, seeming upset with himself.

"I told you it was fine, Eric. I don't mind giving my bed up for a friend once in a while." I walked over and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"You should. I'm not supposed to...oh heavens what have I done?" His distress was rising rapidly. I wasn't sure what was wrong with him, but I did know that I had to do whatever I could to fix it.

"You did nothing wrong, Eric, I promise you. If you really feel like you owe me, you can treat me to breakfast, alright?" I patted his shoulder for emphasis.

"Don't touch me!" he suddenly screamed, throwing my hand off. He seemed alarmed at the action, and I knew that alarm was echoed on my own face. He sat there panting, staring at me with those wide eyes, both of us unsure what to do.

Out of sheer instinct, I dropped to my knees by the bed, feeling that having me staring down at him was not helping anything. "Eric, I have no intention to hurt you. Remember that. I want to help you, but I need to know what's wrong." Where had I gotten this sudden patience? You would have been proud of me if you could have seen it. "I won't touch you if you don't want that. Did I do something you don't like? I can apologize, if that's the case. In fact, if you want to you can walk out of this room right now and I won't stop you. No matter what's wrong, I'm not going to judge you. You're my friend and I only want good things for you, alright?"

Tears began crawling down his face. "I can't be sure that you won't judge me for this, Ed. I can't know that you'll be able to see how horrible a person I am and still be my friend."

"I promise I won't judge, but if you don't want to tell me then you don't have to. You can walk out of here right now and we can just pretend that this never happened." I looked at him pleadingly, my eyes trying to speak all the words that my mouth could not. Attempting to convey my desire to help, my care for him as my first real friend here, my hope to maintain that friendship.

"If I walk out of here...you'll stay my friend?" I nodded and he considered that carefully. "No," he decided, "If we're going to be friends, these things will have to be confronted eventually, and this is as good a time as any. I just...you really won't judge me when you hear what I have to say?"

"I really won't, Eric. No matter what it is, I bet I've been through worse." Cautiously in case he still didn't want to be touched, I took his hand and squeezed it, smiling slightly at him.

He smiled back, and returned the squeeze lightly. "And you'll hear me out, all the way to the end?"

"Of course."

"And you'll still be my friend when we leave this room today?"

"Absolutely." I shifted on my legs slightly—the kneeling position was awkward—but he patted the bed next to him, and I stood and settled myself there instead. Wrapping a careful arm around him and allowing him to rest one tear-streaked cheek on my shoulder, I prompted him to speak. He took a careful breath, and then began.

"I...I really like you, Ed. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, my very first friend." I hadn't realized that I was his first friend. He seemed like the kind of person who would be surrounded by friends. "No one has ever liked me, they all said that I was...strange. But you...you didn't scorn me for acting differently." Had he acted differently? Perhaps I was used to the people in Amestris, some of whom were even weirder than he, so it hadn't had an effect on me. I suppressed a shudder as the thought of strange people in Amestris brought with it memories of Major Armstrong.

"When I told you my theory of your being a spy, instead of outright denying my claims, you played along. When you said that I could become your friend, I was so happy I could have died. No one else would have given me a chance, but you did. As if that was not enough, you _noticed_ things. No one has ever noticed anything about me before, not even my sister. I'd gone through eating disorders in the past, and no one had said a word; to be honest, half the reason I did it was to see if they would. But _you_.... Not only did you notice, you offered to _help_ me. That was such an amazing thing that I could scarcely believe it.

"Then...then you protected me. You protected me with so little thought to your own wellbeing that I realized how much you truly cared about me, even though you didn't voice it very often. You even cared enough to understand that I didn't want to always be protected, but to protect, and you offered to show me how. The things you have done for me, Ed, both the things you realize and those you don't, are so many that I cannot name them all. But last night...last night was _it_. The way you turned into a lawyer and protected me even though you could have just brushed Jackson off was _breathtaking_."

He looked at me sheepishly at this point. "This is the part where you start to hate me," he murmured sadly.

I looked him firmly in the eye and told him, "Eric, no matter what there is hiding in your heart, you're still my friend. Remember that, and keep going."

A deep sigh, meant, I think, to sound exasperated and instead sounding tired, and then he continued. "It was that point when I realized I'd fallen in love with you." My breath caught, and he refused to look at me, almost pulling away, but I held him firmly with my arm and nudged him to get him to keep speaking. "That's why I didn't want to stay here, why I was in such a hurry to get back to my own dorm, where it would be safe, where I wouldn't have these feelings anymore. But you're too nice a person for your own good. You've kept me here, and now I've had to spill everything and you're going to hate me."

"I don't hate you, Eric." I said this in barely a whisper, so little air was behind it, but he heard, and I felt him relax, just a bit, against my shoulder.

"You don't?" he asked tentatively. Then, "Are you saying that...?" The partial question was so hopeful I hated the next words that I had to say.

"I don't hate you," I repeated louder, "But I cannot be that for you, Eric. I'm sorry."

He sighed, staring at his hands, and murmured, "I knew it was hoping too much that you would actually be homosexual. I knew it. I'm not supposed to be this way, why would anyone want me...I'm so stupid!"

I shook him slightly. "Eric, there's nothing wrong with the way you are. It doesn't matter to me whether you're a man or a woman or someone from the moon. I can't be with you because I already have a lover, and he is very important to me. I can't just give that up."

"Wait...he? Your lover is a man?" He looked up in extreme curiosity, though there were tear tracks on his face.

I nodded at him, smiling. "That is why we would never have been able to marry. Even where I came from same-sex marriage wasn't legal."

"But...you said you would never see him again. You're really going to spend the rest of your life being faithful to someone even though you have no guarantee that he'll be faithful as well, and with whom you'll never be able to be?"

"It's not about being with him," I sighed, "Though that was great." I thought of our last kiss before I gave myself up to the gate and shivered just a bit. "I love him so completely that I just can't imagine myself feeling that way about anyone ever again. That and...a little part of me wants to keep the memory of him fresh in my mind. I'm afraid that I'll forget him."

"How can you forget someone that you love?" he asked. "Never a day goes by when I don't think about my brother. His face may have dimmed slightly in my memory, but I still remember his smile, and the way he would ruffle my hair and praise me when I did something well. You don't ever forget the people you love, Ed. It's impossible."

The arm that I didn't have wrapped around him raised and I took his hand in my own and squeezed it. "I still fear it. Colonel Bastard was my one and only, the first person outside my family who could ever make me truly happy. There's nothing that could ever replace that, and I worry that his face will fade from my mind like my mother's has, like the faces of my best friend's parents, or like...like my father's."

"Someone you love that intensely can never be forgotten, Ed. Not completely." Without another word, without a single warning, he leaned up and kissed me.

My heart nearly stopped, but I couldn't reject him if I had wanted to. Which...I wasn't sure I did. Eric's kisses were extremely pleasant, now that I had the chance to really enjoy them. He was the only person that I had kissed seriously since you, and...to be honest I was a teenage boy with hormones who missed his lover. It took me several moments to put sufficient thoughts together in my head that I could decide to push him away, but by then he was already pulling from me with a satisfied look on his face.

"Remember though, Ed, that just because you have loved someone so deeply, does not mean that you cannot love again."

I looked at him in dismay. "Eric, please don't do this to me," I begged. A part of me wondered idly how he had become the strong, powerful one in this situation.

"I'm not going to push anything, Ed. But I have decided that I very much enjoy your kisses, and that I would most definitely like some more of them." With that, he flounced out the door, looking as if he'd gone back to his old self...with an odd new twist.

After he had left, I murmured to myself, "Have I gone from having a crazy friend to having a crazy _boyfriend_?" Part of me dearly hoped that was not the case. Another part was curious to see where this would lead. A third was screaming at me to get him into my bed as soon as possible, but I squashed that part viciously, as it was at the time highly influenced by too many hormones. A symptom of puberty, I am told.

I'm so sorry, Roy. Please don't kill me.

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Suspense. I swear I have the idea for the next chapter all ready, I just have to put it into words. I'll get it done, I promise. Please review, it'll help encourage me to work harder.


	47. Don't Kill Me

**A/N: **This...I don't know how I feel about it. Originally, you were going to get six pages for this chapter and then...the rest needed work. I remember working on it a few days ago and just putting my head in my hands and saying, "It's so messed up and I don't know how to _fix it_!" Therefore, for now you get this and the assurance that I already have the next chapter mostly ready...as soon as I figure out how to fix it. This is a little over two pages and surprise! You get something different. Notice the change in location and point of view. You'll figure it out pretty quick.

**Disclaimer:** Oh, for...I've done forty-one of these just on the regular chapters, if you disregard the bonuses entirely but...fine! I don't own FMA because I'm not cool enough and I'm also not Japanese, but I am a lot of other things like German and French and Italian and English and...I'm a European mutt, let's just say that. What was I talking about again?

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_**Chapter 42: Don't Kill Me**_

"Seriously, don't kill me, please!" Ed begged, standing from his place on the bed and backing away slowly, seeing the completely furious look in his lover's eyes.

"I was faithful to you for ten years while you were off playing with little boys?" Roy stood as well, stalking him slowly.

"I didn't...I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened, alright?" Ed insisted, running his hands through his long hair. It was still loose and slightly damp from their shower hours before. He had been telling his story all through the night, and it was nearly four in the morning now.

"You were so angry at me because you thought I was with Selim, but I'm not allowed to be angry at you when you actually cheated on me?" Roy growled, a dark look in his eyes as he backed Ed up further until he was pressed against the wall.

"I was mad about Selim because he's seventeen and you're what, like fifty now?" He ignored the offended look from Roy at the over-assumption of his age. "When we were together, the age difference wasn't _that_ huge. Eric and I were different, and I told you, _he _was in love with _me, _not the other way around. You know I could never love anyone the way I love you."

Roy scoffed, his hands slamming the wall on either side of Ed's head. "If you love me so much, why can't you even remember how old I am? If you love me so much _why did you leave me in the first place!_" The last was screamed, right in Ed's face, and then Roy turned away, running a hand over his face and forcing himself to walk to the other side of the bedroom.

"You know damn well why I left, you bastard! You know damn well and _don't you ever forget it_!" Fists clenched, Ed still stood by the wall, watching Roy with eyes glistening with what were definitely not tears. "You know I never would have left if I had a choice! You _knew_ what I was getting into, looking for a way to get Al's body back in the first place! You _knew_ that there was a high possibility that I could leave you!"

"BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HURT THIS MUCH!" Roy screamed at him, whirling around, tears in his own eyes. "I had never loved like this before, and I had no idea how much it would hurt to lose you! I spent ten years nursing a broken heart, and then I finally get you back and I find out that after only a year, you had already moved on! How am I _supposed_ to feel?"

Ed stood there shaking for long moments, fighting back tears. "Every moment that I was with Eric I was torn over my care for him as a friend and my love for you," he said quietly. "I needed to be there for him because he needed me, but every single second was agony, knowing that I would never come back to you. I fought with myself for so long because I wanted to be with you, but I _needed _to be with _him!_ He was all I had there, can't you understand that?"

"What the hell is going on?" Ed and Roy both turned abruptly as they heard the sudden voice from the doorway. "Damn you guys are loud. If I had known it would be like this, I would have told your friend to go home for the night."

"Hey!" Roy protested, "I'm the parent here, I get to decide who stays and who goes!"

"Right," Selim scoffed, his bed-ruffled head just sticking inside the door, "But I'm the one who has to take an exam first thing in the morning, and I need my sleep." He looked at Ed, "No offense, but you scream really loud."

Ed shook his head, glancing at Roy. "None taken. It was a stupid fight, anyway."

"Excuse me, but I happened to be taking our fight very seriously!" Roy cut in, taking a few steps towards him.

Ed shot him a glare, giving a slight nod in Selim's direction as he insisted, "Roy, it's fine, just drop it."

Roy, seeing that Ed was trying to spare Selim from their fight, nodded. "You're right. Selim, you should get back to bed, you have an exam in the morning. We'll be quiet, I promise."

Selim glanced between them suspiciously, but nodded anyway and left for his own room, closing the door behind him.

"Thanks," Roy murmured when his son was gone, "You didn't have to worry about him, but I'm glad you did."

"He's your son and he's important to you, therefore he is important to me as well. Every part of your life is a part of mine too, because I love you," Ed explained, his hands finally relaxing from their fists as he took a few steps closer to Roy.

"You still care that much...after everything?" Roy asked, still reluctant to approach him, to let Ed back into his life again so easily.

"I never stopped caring. There were times when, with Alfons, with Eric, I had to focus on other things, care about more than just what I had had with you, but I never stopped caring. Sometimes our love had to go on the back burner, I couldn't keep it at the front of my mind all the time, but it never went away, I never forgot it."

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Roy asked, a slight self-derogatory chuckle leaving his lips unbidden.

"On the contrary, Roy, I'm the one who could not possibly deserve you. You were faithful without trying all these years. I struggled, I doubted my resolve, and I cheated on you even without meaning to." His eyes held self-loathing, his posture humble.

Roy watched him silently, wondering how their relationship had become such a mess. "Ed...can we ever go back to the way we were before you...left?" Roy asked softly, his gaze searching.

Ed watched him, thoughtful, for long moments before replying, "No Roy, I don't think we can." He looked away from Roy's hurt gaze as he continued, "We've both changed so much in the last ten years, it would be impossible for everything to be exactly the same. For one thing, we've both grown older and wiser, and there's more depending on both of us than there used to be. There's no way we can return to the past, Roy." He looked up then, his eyes clear and determined, "But I still love you, and if you'll have me, this time I'll promise to stay with you forever."

The smile that broke across Roy's face then was breathtaking. It held some sadness—for the years they had lost, the hurts they had borne—but there was joy, too. A joy so radiant that Ed felt he wasn't worthy to see it. It was joy at the declaration of love, at the promise of forever, at the hope of a future together that they had thought they would never be able to have. Roy slowly closed the distance between them, took Ed in his arms, and kissed him gently. "We should have talked about this the moment you returned, Ed. It shouldn't take a fight for us to say what we really feel. What we have is too precious for that."

"I know, Roy. It's just...a part of me wanted to just go back to the way things were. But it takes more than that to fit into each other's lives again after so long. I should have realized that sooner. I'm sorry." Ed wrapped his arms around Roy's shoulders, burying his face in the other man's dark hair. They stood like that, comforting and loving, for long moments before Ed suddenly laughed.

Roy pulled away slightly and looked at him in offense. "We're having a loving moment, why are you laughing?"

"Sorry," Ed murmured, still chuckling, "This just feels so weird. Being taller than you is going to be hard to get used to."

Roy shook his head, admitting that yes, Ed was right. The height difference would take some getting used to, but it was nothing in light of what they could have again. "I love you, Edward Elric, in spite of all your odd quirks."

"Don't you mean because of them?" he smiled down at Roy, placing a chaste kiss on his nose and laughing when Roy made face at him. "I love you too, Roy Mustang. And for the record, I just did that to see your reaction." They both laughed anew.

So maybe their lives would never be perfect, and maybe _they_ would never be perfect, and maybe the issues that they had would take more resolving for them to completely forgive and forget, and maybe things would never be exactly the same as they had been before Ed's disappearance, but one thing they knew for certain: As long as they loved each other, and continued to love each other, then whatever obstacles came their way, they would be able to overcome them. They had given up too much, suffered too much, and now it was time for them to be happy and to be together.

"I think," Roy said pensively, as they stood swaying on their feet, "That it is time to sleep."

"What about my story?" Ed protested weakly, nonetheless allowing Roy to lead him to the bed.

"You promised me forever, Ed. That means we'll have plenty of time for you to finish your story. Right now, it's nearly five o'clock in the morning and I have to go to work soon." Roy guided them both to lay on the bed, pulling the blankets over them, one arm still securely around his lover.

"Right," Ed agreed sleepily, snuggling up to Roy's warmth, "Forever is a long time, isn't it?"

"A very long time, and I intend to spend every possible moment of it with you," Roy insisted, pulling the younger man closer and nuzzling his soft hair. He stroked Ed's side gently with one hand. "Sleep now, there will be plenty of time to talk more in the morning."

* * *

Yeah. I guess you figured out that we'd gone back to Amestris for a bit, huh? Someone (Can't remember who, too tired to find out) predicted this several chapters back. If that was you, tell me in your review and I'll give you credit for your prediction in the next chapter. I'm going to bed now, I'm dying. Please review!


	48. Forgive Yourself

**A/N:** You're probably wondering why this update is so late. Well, pretend I'm kneeling in front of you and begging for your forgiveness, because actually, I was really stressed about other things and I just completely forgot to update last night. I do say Sunday night or Monday morning so...technically it's not late. (Lame excuse) Anyway, to make up for it, I've written a bonus chapter for you, and also this is pretty long (Like four pages or something). I had to put the bonus chapter after this one or it wouldn't be as funny. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Author is no artist, which is why she writes. Author cannot draw to save her life, therefore Author could not possibly own FMA, for it is a manga.

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_**Chapter 43: Forgive Yourself**_

"Hey Dad, you need to—oh ALCHEMY!" This scream rather rudely awoke Roy and his companion. They both sat up blearily, rubbing their eyes and looking confusedly at Selim, who stood in the doorway, one hand still on the doorknob where he had frozen halfway through opening the door, looking thoroughly scandalized. When finally he unfroze, he turned away from them, blushing, and cried, "Lock the door or something, I didn't realize he'd be sleeping with you!"

Roy glanced down at himself, then at Ed, then looked back up at his son. "We're both fully clothed _and_ covered with a blanket. Why are you so embarrassed?"

"Because you were...you were..." He didn't finish his sentence, instead trailing off and refusing to look at them.

"We were what?" Roy stared at him, running a hand through his bed-tousled hair.

"You were...kissing in your sleep." He moved to leave, stopping briefly to tell them, "Anyway, you have forty-five minutes to get ready for work, you should get up." With that, he walked out the door and shut it behind him.

Roy glanced at Ed, and as one they both started laughing. "I guess old habits die hard, huh?" Roy asked amusedly. "We used to do that all the time, before..." There was no need for him to voice the rest of that sentence because Ed knew, regardless. A little of his smile faded.

"Yeah," Ed sighed, then tried to lighten the mood with, "Remember that one time, when I woke up and you were trying to jump me?" They both started laughing, remembering clearly that morning, and Ed's anger when he realized that Roy hadn't even been awake and was still trying to have sex with him.

Roy suddenly stopped laughing. "Wait. Did he just say that I only have forty-five minutes to get ready for work?" He stood and hurried over to his closet, beginning to get dressed.

This made Ed laugh all the more, and he sat on the bed cackling to himself as Roy rushed about the room, combing his hair, fixing his clothes, trying to find his watch... "It's on the bathroom counter," he finally called to Roy after he had spent several frantic minutes unable to find it.

"Thank you," Roy sighed after he had fetched it from the bathroom, stepping briefly over to the bed to give Ed a quick kiss. "Come have breakfast with me before I go."

Ed complied, standing and following Roy down the familiar stairs into the equally familiar kitchen. "I still can't believe you kept this place even though you're the Fuhrer now," he murmured, going over to the counter where a pot of coffee had just finished brewing and pouring them each a cup.

"I couldn't just give up what little I had left of you, could I? Besides, I've never felt the need for a bigger house. Selim and I fit just fine here, and I think it's better for him this way. Especially when he was younger, I think a large house would have brought back memories that I didn't necessarily want to bring back, not if I could help it." Roy started some toast and leaned back against the counter, watching Ed lovingly as he got the cream and sugar, sweetening Roy's coffee just the way he liked it.

"Of the man who had been his father for seven years? From what I'd heard, for all his faults Bradley was a pretty loving husband and father." He handed Roy his coffee, "Two sugars and a dribble of cream, as I recall?"

Roy accepted the coffee and took a generous sip, not caring how hot it was. He smiled at Ed, joyful that Ed stilled remembered how he liked his coffee even after all these years. "It's perfect, thank you. Fuhrer Bradley was a loving father, until the last. What he did to Selim at the end though, I nearly couldn't stop it. I almost lost my son." He looked up at Ed, a sadness in his eyes that Ed knew well.

"He tried to kill him," Ed assumed correctly. He clasped Roy's shoulder gently, showing his support.

"Thank you for reminding me. I had almost forgotten the man that I had called father for seven years. Alchemy knows, I wouldn't want to do that." This came from Selim, who walked in and poured himself a cup of coffee, barely sparing either of them a glance. "I'm not terribly fond of those memories."

"Sorry," Ed apologized immediately, "I know how that is. I didn't mean to say something that would hurt you."

"How the hell could you know how that is?" Selim spat in frustration, finally turning to Ed.

"Selim, language!" Roy scolded, knowing it wouldn't do much good but feeling that he needed to play the parent anyway.

"Oh shove it, Dad. I want to hear your boyfriend speak up for himself." Selim didn't look at Roy as he spoke, his glare trained on Ed.

Ed studied Selim's face for long moments before replying, "My father abandoned my brother and I when we were young, and didn't even come home when our mother was dying. We lost everything, and I blamed it all on him. I hated him, but it also hurt to think about him, because I had vague memories of him being a good Dad, of taking care of me and teaching me things, of him being good to my Mom. Thinking that all of that had been a lie, that was the most painful part. No matter what he did to us, if he hadn't acted like he loved us at first it wouldn't have hurt so badly when he did abandon us."

Selim stood in front of him shaking. He set his coffee mug down before he dropped it. "I thought that you were just another privileged guy with too much time on his hands, someone who wanted to mess with my Dad. I should have realized...when he brought you home after he'd spent ten years not so much as looking at anyone—male or female—like that I should have known that you were someone special. Sorry, I've misjudged you."

Roy was floored. He stood watching his son, his precious son who was always so loving, as he apologized to Ed for being protective of his father.

"You're forgiven," Ed answered easily, smiling at Selim and clapping him on the back. "I've been misjudged many times, although never like you did. It was a nice change." He turned to Roy, looking at him very seriously. "You," he murmured fondly, "Need to shut your mouth before it gets stuck that way." Then he turned to the toast that Roy had been making—and was now burning—and saved it before it became inedible. Spreading butter and jam on a slice, he shoved it in Roy's still-open mouth and then pushed his chin up with the other hand. "Eat, you have to go to work."

Selim watched them, watched his father obey Ed as if it were perfectly normal, watched this man he had just met move around their kitchen as if he lived there, watched as Ed fit himself into their lives seemingly without a thought. "How old are you?" he asked suddenly, just as Ed was taking a bite of his own toast.

Ed chewed, looking thoughtful, and then replied, "I'm twenty-seven, why?"

Selim felt shock course through him. "I didn't..."

Ed smiled at him, shaking his head. "You didn't realize how young I was? It's alright, I know it's weird for me to be with such an old man." He patted Roy's cheek fondly as he continued, "Your father and I started seeing each other shortly before I turned seventeen. The age gap never really mattered much to us."

Roy huffed beside him. "I recall protesting that you were too young and that we should wait until you were at least of age, but you would have none of it."

"That's because I knew better than to listen to you," Ed insisted, brushing crumbs off of Roy's jacket and straightening his collar.

"I was your superior officer, you should have listened to me."

"You've always been full of hot air."

Selim cut in, "Dad was your superior officer? Isn't that against the rules?"

"Of course," Roy admitted, "Even now it is, but at the time we cared more about each other than whether or not we kept our jobs." He finished his coffee and set down the mug, running a hand through his hair. "Enough talk, I have work to do and Selim, you have an exam, remember? Breakfast, shoes, school. Go now," he ordered, shooing his son into motion.

As Selim did as he was told, Ed murmured, "You're good with him."

"I wasn't at first, but I learned. I had to, because I was taking care of him on my own. It was hard, but we got through it together. I'm so thankful to have my son." He looked at Ed then, the affection in his eyes changing slightly as he gazed at his lover. "But no matter how wonderful it was to have him, he could never be a replacement for you."

"He better not be, Bastard. That's just wrong." His words were accusing, but the smirk on his face belied his true feelings. "Besides, there's no one in this world who loves you as much as I do."

"That is definitely true," he agreed as he gave Ed a quick, coffee-flavored kiss, "But right now I need to go to work, because Hawkeye will kill me if I'm late."

"I think she'll forgive you this once. It's not every day that your dead lover comes home, after all." Ed joked, his arms wrapping around Roy's neck.

"Mm, possibly," Roy agreed, his own arms going around Ed's waist. He leaned in for another kiss, lingering longer this time, their embrace becoming more heated.

"Oh, EW!" Selim cried out, having just stepped back into the kitchen. "Innocent eyes, here!"

Roy chuckled as he broke the kiss but did not let go of Ed. "Selim, you're supposed to be getting ready for school. Besides that, I think you've seen people kissing before."

"But you're my Dad! I don't want to see you messing around with your boyfriend!" Selim protested, distressed.

"Sorry, but you're going to have to get used to it, because Edward is staying with us for good, now." Sighing, Roy released his lover, feeling the lack of heat immediately.

"Seriously? You're just having him move in without asking me how I feel about it at all? You're a horrible father. What if I'm traumatized from walking in on you two?" Selim argued.

"It'll teach you to knock, won't it?" Roy countered, walking out into the entryway to get his briefcase and put on his shoes. Selim followed him, continuing to debate as he put on his own shoes and Ed wandered into the front hall as well, watching bemusedly.

"I shouldn't have to knock when walking into the kitchen!"

"You know, if I were married I would do these same things with my wife. Would it still be gross then?"

"Yes! I don't want to know that my father has a sex life! It's weird!"

"Who said anything about that? All I did was kiss my lover."

"You would have gone farther if I hadn't walked in, don't try to deny it!"

"Why are we even discussing this, Selim? Ed's moving in because I love him and he has nowhere else to go. If you don't like it, then you can move out."

"I'm seventeen!"

"Ed started living on his own when he was twelve."

"I hate you. You're a horrible father."

"When you start resorting to petty insults it means that I've won. Now go to school, I'll see you for dinner." Roy stood up and ruffled his son's hair, picking up his briefcase.

"I'm not having dinner here tonight." Selim mumbled, not standing up even though he was finished tying his shoes.

"Where are you having dinner then?" Roy asked, watching him calmly.

"I'm eating with Mom and my siblings. They're still pretty broken up over Richard's death, and they need me right now," Selim explained, playing idly with his shoelaces.

Roy rested a hand on the young man's shoulder. He was silent for a long moment before he murmured, "I'm proud of you, you know. Not everyone would be able to do what you've done, and you're such a blessing to your mother. She needs your support even more now, with Richard gone."

Selim nodded, finally standing and giving his father a hug. "Thanks Dad. I'll see you later, okay?"

At Roy's nod, he walked out the door.

"His mom...?" Ed asked from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Is still alive, and I found her shortly after I found him. We had been telling him that she was his aunt because he was so young and confused already, but a few years ago we told him the truth. He's been supporting them ever since, and even more so since her husband died a month ago. He's a wonderful older brother." Roy was watching the door Selim had disappeared through rather fondly, as if he could still see his son despite the wooden barrier.

"Even if he was a horrible brother he would still be better than me," Ed sighed, leaning heavily against the door frame. "At least he won't lose his siblings' bodies."

"Are you still beating yourself up for that? You were young and stupid, but you've fixed it at great cost. Forgive yourself and move on," Roy advised, turning to Ed.

"Yeah..." Ed didn't seem convinced. "I'll...I'll come see you for your lunch break, alright? You should get going, or you'll be late for work." Roy looked unsure, but Ed shooed him out the door, giving a weak smile as he went. "Go, or Hawkeye will kill me for delaying you." He gave a little laugh, though Roy could tell his heart was not in it.

"We're going to talk, later," he told Ed, his tone leaving no room for discussion. Ed just nodded at him and waved him out the door. He left obediently, still looking worried about his lover. _'We will talk,'_ he assured himself as he closed the door behind him and started down the front path, his bodyguards falling into step next to him, _'No matter how long it takes, I will make him talk to me. I have to help relieve him of this guilt he still feels, after so long.' _ He shook his head as he whispered to himself, "It's been years, Ed, and Al never blamed you in the first place. He would forgive you in a moment if you asked for it. It's time to forgive _yourself_."

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So...give me one more chapter to wrap a few things up and get them back to Ed's story, and then we will find out some more of what happens at Cambridge, okay? Alright, sounds good. Also, the person who predicted this little interlude was iStoleYourChips. Thank you dear, for knowing what is going on in my head. Please review, and please do go on and read the bonus chapter as well.


	49. Bonus: Oh, ALCHEMY!

**A/N:** Remember the way Selim swore at the beginning of chapter 43? Yeah, this kind of explains why he talks like that. I hope it's funny.

**Disclaimer: **Blah, blah, blah, don't own FMA, blah, blah.

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_**Bonus Chapter: Oh, ALCHEMY!**_

Selim walked into the house carrying several boxes and bags. As he tried to get his shoes off while still holding his packages, some of them fell. "Damn it," he muttered angrily. Then, noting which things had fallen, murmured another, more frustrated, "_Damn_ it."

"Selim, language!" his father yelled from the kitchen.

"I'm in distress!" he countered easily.

"Then say something that isn't a swear word! I won't have words like that used in my house!"

Selim sulked, but knew that he wouldn't get around that rule. He was unusually quiet for the rest of the day.

**xXx**

Selim helping his father to prepare dinner one night when he accidentally touched a hot pan, burning his finger. "Ah, Alchemy!" he cried in distress, hurrying to run cold water over the injuries.

His father looked quizzically at him. "What did you just say?"

Selim, still focusing on his finger, responded, "I said 'Alchemy.' Are you going to decide that that's a swear word and not let me say it, either?"

Roy was stumped. If he forbade Selim from saying the word Alchemy, he essentially forbade his son from talking about the science at all, and he enjoyed the lively discussions of possible transmutations that they sometimes had. "Fine, fine, as long as you're not swearing anymore."

**xXx**

Selim was in the living room one day, studying and waiting for his father to return home when suddenly he heard, "Oh damn it."

"Dad," Selim called, a wicked smile on his face, "Language!"

"You didn't hear that," Roy insisted, making his way into the living room to join his son.

"Sorry, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, I was too distracted by the sound of my father swearing," Selim smirked, turning back to his homework.

"Selim, I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"Well, I did. Do you swear all the time when I can't hear you?"

Roy put his face in his hands and moped. "Oh Alchemy, what have I done?"

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Heehee, this was fun to write. Hope you enjoyed!


	50. Look At The Headlines!

**A/N: **Can I just pretend that the last two weeks didn't happen? ...didn't think so. The first week I was having computer problems and blah, blah, blah. Then last week I was having a mental breakdown because I was supposed to be teaching VBS the next week and I had no idea what I was doing. So...I still have computer problems, but I wrote this in a google document and then put it on the computer that I'm borrowing, and now I will have to delete it off this computer now that I have uploaded it. This is probably not my best work, but it here so...yeah. Please try and enjoy, and let me know if it makes any sense at all.

**Disclaimer: **I don't even own a functioning computer anymore, so why on earth would I own these adorable men?

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_**Chapter 44: Look At The Headlines!**_

As Ed watched his lover leave he sighed, running a hand through his hair, because he knew he would be forced to have a discussion he didn't want to have later. Glancing down at himself, he decided it would probably be a good idea to get dressed and then go somewhere to scrounge up some more clothes for himself, as he hadn't exactly gotten to pack his bags before leaving England.

He went upstairs and found his clothes—which had been haphazardly tossed in a corner of the bathroom the night before—and put them on, smoothing out the creases as much as possible. He brushed his hair and braided it, then went back downstairs to put on his shoes and leave the house. Al had given him a bit of money to get him by until he could find a source of income, despite his protests, and he now realized that it was probably a good thing he had such a thoughtful brother. He would hate to have to rely on Roy too much.

Central city was different than it had been ten years ago, but Ed still managed to find a good clothing store and pick out a few garments that were suitable. They were not the same as the clothes he had become accustomed to, but they would do for the time being.

Wandering the streets with nothing to do for a few hours after taking his purchases back to the house, Ed wandered by a newspaper stand. He spared it a passing glance, and was about to move on when the headlines caught his eye. "The Fuhrer's Secret Lover," he read, and an exasperated look came over his face. "Everything he does needs to be reported, does it?"

He picked up one of the newspapers and looked more closely at the article. It was complete with a picture of him and Roy standing in a sweet embrace outside the bakery, tears pouring down both their faces. "Nice to know that private moments are private. I didn't even notice them taking that picture," he murmured to himself.

The owner of the stand looked at him askance. "Young man...were you..." An expression of sudden recognition passed the older man's face as he picked up his own copy of the newspaper and glanced between Ed and the picture for long moments. "You're the Fuhrer's lover? I thought it was a woman," he said, still studying Ed closely. He wasn't talking particularly softly, and people were beginning to stare.

"Shh!" Ed shushed him quietly, taking a step closer. "You can't...you can't tell anyone because...I'm really just the Fuhrer's old friend, and he thought I was dead. That's why we were like that."

"Do old friends usually do this?" The old man turned his newspaper, and Ed discovered that this was a different one, complete with picture of Ed and Roy kissing in the street.

Ed swore creatively to himself while saying out loud, "Look, just please don't say anything, alright? It's really important."

The man stared at him for long moments and was about to say something when a woman's voice asked, "Excuse me, but are you the one on this newspaper?"

Ed turned to her, startled, and immediately told her, "No, that's my twin sister."

She nodded in understanding, then bought a copy of the periodical and walked away. Ed sighed in relief. Turning back to the owner, he murmured, "If you say anything, I swear I will personally come and dissect you. Alive. That was one of my favorite parts of studying to be a doctor."

The man looked sufficiently warned, and so Ed bought a copy of the newspaper and walked away, all the while glaring at him. "Oh man," he murmured to himself, "Roy's not going to like this."

**xXx**

"Fuhrer Mustang, Sir, the day's news does not look good," Hawkeye murmured, coming into Roy's office with a pile of newspapers.

"What is it this time, Hawkeye? Did they misinterpret one of Selim's friendships again?" He looked up from his paperwork to study her, pulling off his glasses as he did so.

"No Sir, I'm afraid it was one of your friendships this time." She dropped the pile on his desk, the one with the worst picture on top. It showed him kissing Ed passionately in front of the bakery.

He looked down at it and groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. "The press must be having a field day."

"I'm afraid so, Sir. There are at least thirty reporters outside, asking for interviews." She shook her head at him. "You used to be so good at hiding your relationship. This was a big slip-up, Roy." She had changed to her scolding mother tone, and Roy knew he was about to get a lecture.

"I'm sorry, alright? I didn't...it was all so sudden that I wasn't thinking. I know I shouldn't have done it, but there's not much I can do about it at this point, is there? We'll start damage control right away, and..."

"I'm not sure that's enough, Roy. I think the best thing would be to admit your relationship publicly and deal with the criticism you'll get for a few weeks. Hopefully the public will accept it eventually. That's all you can hope for." She was looking at him with her compassionate eyes, and she was still using his first name, damn it.

"You're right. You're always right. Is there a reporter from James' paper out there somewhere? I'll accept an interview. We'll plan a press conference and get things straightened out as much as possible. I hope this doesn't affect Selim too much."

She left without another word, and as the door shut after her Roy put his head in his hands. "I'm a horrible father. Selim was right. I'm a horrible father and a horrible lover and I can't even protect the people I love. What's the point of being fuhrer if I can't even protect those who are most important to me?"

**xXx**

Ed discovered that it was very difficult to get into Central Headquarters. The entrance was swarmed with reporters, and they nearly attacked anyone who tried to get past them, bombarding them with questions. "This is because of that article isn't it?" he groaned to himself. "I can't deal with this right now. I just finally got back and now this. I'm going to shoot someone soon."

He considered for a moment the best course of action, then finally gave up and instead searched for a way to get inside without getting attacked by crazed reporters. He glanced around and noted a small statue that stood right next to the mob. Smirking to himself, he sprinted over and climbed up the statue, jumping from it and hurling himself over the crowd. It was as he pushed off from the statue's head that he realized he was standing on...himself. _'When did they build a statue of me?'_ he thought distractedly as he did a somersault landing and sprinted the last few paces up the front steps and into the building. By the time that the door closed behind him flash bulbs had started going off, but he thought he had avoided most of the cameras.

"Ed?" Hawkeye was standing in front of him, staring incredulously as he leaned, panting, against the doors. "What are you doing?"

"Hi Hawkeye," he answered nonchalantly, still trying to control his breathing, "I was just coming to see everyone. Why is there a statue of me out there?"

"It's nice to see you Edward, but I'm surprised you bothered to brave the crowds. The statue was put up sometime during the rebuilding efforts after the war, I believe it was General Armstrong's idea," Hawkeye told him, one of her rare small smiles coming out at the memory.

"That figures. What are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be doing the secretary thing for Roy?" Ed pushed himself off from the door and took a step towards her, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"I am, actually. The Fuhrer has consented to an interview from a newspaper he trusts and I need to find their reporter amongst the masses. You are welcome to go up to his office, though. Do you know the way?" She looked at him questioningly, reaching out to straighten his collar.

"Same as the old fuhrer's office?" he asked, and at her nod insisted, "Then I'll be fine. Some part of my brain still seems to remember this place. Will the bodyguards let me in?"

"Most likely. The previous shift informed them of the riotous blond man who nearly killed and then kissed the Fuhrer. I'm sure they will figure out who you are quickly enough, if not on sight."

"Oh good," he muttered, "More people having bad first impressions of me."

"Actually, they think you're the best thing that's ever happened to him, so don't beat yourself up too much."

"If you say so. Thanks, Hawkeye, I'll see you later." With that, he walked off towards his lover's office.

**xXx**

Roy sat in his office, coming up with something to tell the reporter, when he heard a commotion outside his door. Wondering what it could be, he rose and strode over to open it, surprised at what he found outside.

"No, I really am him! I was with Roy yesterday, you can ask the other guys. Come on, Hawkeye said you would let me in!" Edward stood outside Roy's office yelling at Roy's bodyguards. The guards looked exasperated at him as they interrupted his rambling.

"We didn't say you couldn't go in, we said we had to check with the Fuhrer first. Listen when we talk, Shorty," one bodyguard said, a hand on Ed's shoulder to keep him from charging the door. Roy blinked at the short comment-after all, Ed was taller than him-but then realized that while Ed was relatively tall at about five feet ten inches, both bodyguards were easily well over six feet.

"Who are you calling short, you-" Suddenly he realized that the door had opened and cried, "Roy! Tell them to let me in!"

Roy, smiling, told the guards, "Boys, let my lover in."

The bodyguard's hand immediately dropped from Ed's person and both guards stepped back, allowing him access to the office, but Ed only stood there, staring in shock at Roy, who had just announced their relationship in the middle of a corridor for whoever wished to hear. "Roy...you just..."

"I'm assuming that since you've shown up early for our lunch date, you know why all those reporters are outside as well," Roy surmised, moving aside and opening the door wider, gesturing for Ed to precede him into the office. "With such solid evidence, there is no point in hiding it any longer."

Ed, still shocked and slightly confused and embarrassed at the announcement, strolled as casually as he could into the room, turning around as Roy followed and closed the door behind himself. "I guess a lot more has changed than I thought. Before, something like this would have meant losing our jobs. But...won't the public be upset?"

"The public will be upset, but they will eventually get used to it. Just like they got used to my having a son, and like they got used to it when I announced that I would not be getting married."

"Would not be getting married? What?"

"For a while, they had this idea that because I am the Fuhrer and because I have a son that I need a wife as well."

"Ha, as if that's necessary. Most women just get in the way."

"You are still very much the teenager I knew."

"I-hey! I am not a child!"

"You further prove my point." Roy stepped up to Ed, wrapping his arms around him and giving him a swift kiss to silence any more arguments he might have. He was about to kiss him again when a knock interrupted them. "Yes?" he called towards the door, knowing who was probably on the other side and wishing they weren't.

"Fuhrer Mustang, Sir, I've found the reporter," Hawkeye's voice called through the wood.

"Very well. Enter," he ordered, stepping away from Edward and gesturing for him to take a seat on one of the couches in the room as he watched the door warily, wondering which reporter would be interviewing him. James did have several in his employ, after all. He was pleasantly surprised when he saw who walked in, and crossed the room to shake his hand warmly and lead him over to the couch opposite Ed. Hawkeye slipped out quietly without another word.

"It's good to see you again, James, it's been a while," Roy said amiably while taking a seat next to Ed, "This is Edward Elric, my lover and current focus of quite a few interesting newspaper articles."

James leaned across the space between the couches, extending his hand for Ed to shake as he greeted, "It's nice to meet you. I'm James Madison, from the Mustang Daily."

Ed shook his hand, raising an eyebrow at the same time, "Why is your paper named after Roy?"

"Because he named a chain of charity houses after me. I thought it was only fair," James explained, a smile spreading his face and making him even more handsome. "But let's focus on you for a moment. Are you in fact the Edward Elric who has been missing and presumed dead for ten years?"

"Yeah, that's me. I'm still alive, as you can probably tell."

James laughed, and the sound was bright and lively. "I see, yes. Roy," Ed wondered to himself how well this man-boy-knew Roy, that he was using his first name, "You say Mr Elric is your lover?"

"He is."

**xXx**

"Thank goodness that's over," Ed sighed dramatically as he leaned heavily on Roy's desk. "It's hard actually telling these things to people. You realize all that stuff about our personal lives is going to be published in tomorrow's paper?"

"Some of it will be, but James is good at what he does. He'll release the necessary information to the public without getting too deep into our privacy or worse, distorting the facts and creating lies about us. Most of the reporters outside would do that." Roy collapsed onto one of the couches, laying his sore head on the cushions.

"You trust him that much?" Ed asked, walking over to where Roy lay and lifting up his head, sitting down and laying it in his lap instead.

"I've known him since he was ten, it's hard not to. Especially since I've seen all he's been through, and the work he has done to get to where he is now. He's one of the only honest reporters I know, and as soon as he started doing well enough he's been giving donations to Madison house. He's a great kid." Roy sighed in contentment as Ed began to massage his temples gently.

"Why did you start Madison house? What is it for?" Ed wondered, smiling down at his lover.

"I started it because James showed me that there are people that just can't help themselves sometimes, not just people that are too lazy. He had no father, his mother was sick, and he was doing everything he could to feed his family. He was strong, and I admired him for it. Not everyone could do as well as he did, in those same circumstances. But I wanted to make sure that other children like James didn't have to suffer the way he did. That's why I started Madison house. Because sometimes everyone just needs a little help, or someone to encourage them. I hear reports every day about people who just come in to see the healing and get a little encouragement themselves, because they're down in the dumps or not feeling loved or they didn't get that promotion they wanted. Madison house is about helping people, and it truly came from the bottom of my heart. Also, it reminded me a little of you, and you were another part of my inspiration to start it."

"What?" Ed's fingers stilled on Roy's temples at this acknowledgement.

"You were always doing your 'Hero of the People' thing even if your missions were unrelated. You cared about people, and if there was absolutely anything you could do to help them out, then you would do it. So I knew that you would approve of my starting it, because it was all about doing what you always did, but in a more efficient way, with more people working towards that same goal." Roy took hold of one of Ed's slender hands, kissing his fingertips gently. "And that's why now that you're back I could never just keep you to myself, no matter how much I want to. Whatever you want to do here, Ed, you can do it. I'm not going to stop you from doing what makes you happy. As much as I love you, that's just another reason to share you with the world."

"Roy..." Ed stroked his lover's hair with his free hand.

"Just one thing...no matter where you go, no matter what you do, and no matter who you meet, you always come back to me, alright?" He gripped Ed's hand tightly as he waited for his answer.

"Absolutely," Ed agreed almost immediately, "I was apart from you for ten years, I never want to be away that long again."

Roy smiled up at him lovingly, a joyous look in his eyes. Ed couldn't resist leaning down to kiss him.

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Done. Next chapter we get back to Ed's story, which shall be great fun, I promise. And if it's not fun then...I'll give you virtual cookies? I can't give you real cookies because I don't know who you are, and I don't really want to know, so how about I just make the next chapter fun and save everyone a whole lot of trouble? ...Sounds good. Review please, I'll love you forever!


	51. Relationships Are All About Connecting

**A/N: **I had a family reunion last week and then I went to visit a friend who's been running around the country most of the summer. Okay...so mostly I just forgot. But those things really did happen! This chapter...is not as long as I wanted to make it, but it needed to end there or it would be very long and I would not have managed to update this week...again. On the plus side, there's lots of plot development! I'm trying to finish this arc. I'm hoping that the story will finish out around 50 chapters or a few more. It's definitely not going to reach 60, I'll tell you that. I'm done rambling...please enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** What's that? I don't own FMA? Wow, who would have guessed?

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_**Chapter 45: Relationships Are All About Connecting**_

"Hello Ed, how are you this morning?" Eric asked me cheerily. He had taken to the early mornings far too well.

"Shut up and run, Eric. I'm in no mood to deal with you just yet," I growled at him while a large section of my mind demanded coffee. I ignored it.

He gave a sunny smile, wrapped an arm around my shoulders briefly and squeezed, then set off ahead of me down the path. I followed him grudgingly, wondering idly how quickly we would finish our run so that I could go get coffee. It was frigid outside, and there was very little sunlight at this time in the morning. Soon there would be none at all.

It had been about a week since that fated conversation when Eric had declared that he was in love with me. Not much had changed between us...on the surface anyway. He didn't use pet names for me, and he wasn't any more physically affectionate than usual—in public. When we were alone he liked to hold my hand, or to drop kisses to my head or my face, though he hadn't tried for a proper kiss since that morning. I think he was waiting for me to be more comfortable with our relationship, which I was grateful for. I still wasn't sure how I felt about the whole thing, and I was glad he was giving me time to think about it.

**xXx**

We went to breakfast together, and he wisely avoided speaking to me more than necessary until I'd gotten some coffee in me. After that I was much more pleasant, and he took the chance to broach a subject I could tell he'd wanted to discuss since he'd seen me that morning.

"Ed, what are you planning to do during the winter holiday?" he asked, referring to the break the school gave us between the semesters for Christmas and New Year's.

"Hm?" I murmured, still not quite awake, "I'll probably go back to London to visit Edward. I haven't seen him in a while, and we're both too busy to write letters regularly."

"Oh." He gave a dejected sigh, and I wondered what I had done to upset him.

"Is everything alright, Eric?" I asked worriedly. He had been doing better, but I never knew about him. I don't think I will ever truly understand Eric.

He gave a smile that I could tell was clearly false and waved me off. "It's nothing. We should get to class."

I was about to protest, but he had cleared his dishes and was off before I could say a word.

**xXx**

The rest of the day he didn't touch me. It was odd, because normally he would sling a friendly arm around my shoulders as we walked down the corridor, or hold my hand under the table during meals. Today though...nothing. It was strangely disconcerting.

**xXx**

Eric seemed to have more pent-up frustration than usual during our sparring practice that night. Every blow he made was fierce, and I wondered again if something had happened, though I did not voice it right away.

When practice was over, I sat down next to him and handed him a towel for his face. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?" I asked casually, not looking at him.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed him glance at me, and then he seemed to be considering something. "Do you really consider me your boyfriend, Ed?" he asked cautiously, as if afraid of my answer.

I turned to look at him then, but he refused to meet my eyes. "Eric...I've only been in one romantic relationship before, and I really don't know how a proper boyfriend is supposed to act. I'm...I'm willing to give this a try, for you, but if this is going to work, we're both going to have to be honest with each other. You have to let me know what's bothering you, or there's no way I can fix it."

He lifted his head slowly, eventually locking eyes with me. "I want you to be alright with this. I know that it's hard for you, that you still miss your lover, but I hate that you flinch away from my touch. I hate that no matter what I do, I never seem to be good enough. I know I can't be him, but can't you find a little place in your heart for me?"

"Oh, Eric," I murmured quietly, suddenly wrapping my arms around him, "I'm sorry, I didn't even realize that I was doing it. I do care about you, Eric, you know I do. It's just going to take some time for me to get used to this. Whatever I can do to make you feel better..." I trailed off, looking down at his tear-filled eyes, his trembling shoulders. For all that Eric was older than me, I often felt that he was a weak, frightened child that I needed to care for.

What Eric needed was someone strong, who could care for him and love him. No matter what happened in the future, for now, I was that someone. So I did what I could for him and hoped desperately as I was doing it that you would forgive me for it.

I kissed him.

I felt his tears on my face and had no idea whether they were tears of sorrow or tears of joy; perhaps both. What I did know was that this was what Eric needed. He needed to feel wanted. I did not know what had happened in his past that made him so desperately in need of that feeling, but I knew that because I cared about him, and because he was one of the few important people I had found in England, I was going to do everything in my power to make sure he kept feeling that way.

**xXx**

_No matter what you think, Roy, I know that what I did was right. And I cannot deny that over the time that I was friends with Eric, I had grown very fond of him. He was important to me, and I took care of him as I take care of all my precious friends. Being a stronghold for Eric in his time of need—though I did not understand fully at the time—was giving me another purpose in life, another reason to keep on going without you._

**xXx**

The next day, I received a letter from Edward.

_Dearest "Edmund,"_

_ I am writing because I find myself in a bit of a predicament, at present. I had previously asked you to come and stay with me during the winter holiday, but I recently discovered that a friend of Alfons' has some information for me that may just further my research. With this excuse, Alfons has insisted that I visit him for Christmas, and so (as he is very convincing) I will be traveling to Germany on the twentieth. You may join me if you wish (Alfons would welcome you into his home) though perhaps you would prefer to spend the holiday with one of your classmates instead. Either way, I wish you a very blessed holiday, and I hope to greet you again in the New Year._

_ Your loving brother,_

_ Edward Elric_

As I read the letter Eric came up behind me, silently reading over my shoulder. When I sighed and put the letter down, he suggested, "You could come and stay with me."

I glanced at him, not startled as I had heard him arrive already, and said, "I would hate to impose upon your family. They don't even know me."

"Nonsense," he insisted, clapping a hand on my shoulder as we began to walk back to our dormitories, "The only reason they don't know you is because you haven't had a chance to meet them yet. I'm certain they'll all adore you."

I snorted. "Very few people adore me. But if you insist..."

He smiled at me, all his teeth showing and his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. "Thank you, Ed! We'll have such a good time. My mother is the most wonderful cook and my sister is an amazing conversation partner, not to mention her skills on the harpsichord."

"You have a harpsichord?" I asked in slight surprise. Not many people had one of those, these days. Disregarding the question I instead asked, "What of your father?"

He seemed to deflate slightly, but answered dutifully, "He's a good man, strong, and he worked hard to raise his fortune." He gave a sigh, and then, "You might watch your temper around him. If you thought that yours was bad, his must be six or seven times worse. He is kind...to women, but around men he can get a little...ruffled."

I could tell that there was more about his father that he wanted to say, more warnings, perhaps, that he wanted to deal out, but he remained silent. I ignored it for now, as I was sure he would tell me in time.

We reached the dormitories, and I sighed, exhausted, "I have much work to finish, so I'll see you tomorrow, alright Eric?"

He stopped with me just outside my door. "I have to write a letter to my parents as well. I'll see you in the morning."

He was about to walk away but I grabbed his wrist, glancing up and down the corridor before leaning in and dropping a swift kiss to his lips. He seemed pleased, and I murmured, "Bright and early."

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What is Eric hiding? What's this about his father? What information does Alfons' friend have for Edward? What does Roy think of all this? Some of these questions might be answered in the next chapter! For now, please review so that the author has more motivation to write!


	52. A Beginner's Guide to Christmas

**A/N:** Look, it's Christmas! Yeah...anyway, I'm really scary. I predicted (before I started writing) that this chapter was going to be about four pages long. I was almost right. It's about 1/4 - 1/5 of a page short of being exactly four. It's exciting. Also, I'm really surprised I managed to finish this in time, because earlier today I was having major writer's block and could not for the life of me figure out what to do next. But then I went and did a self-manicure and pedicure and that gave me the proper time and environment to think about how to finish the chapter. Okay, don't have anything else to say really, please enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I did this for 45 chapters already, do I really have to do it again? I guess...I don't own FMA, blah.

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_**Chapter 46: A Beginner's Guide to Christmas**_

"Are you ready to go, Ed?" Eric asked me. The winter holiday had finally arrived, and we were preparing to leave for his family's estate in the country.

I threw one last book into my bag and closed it up, turning to him and nodding, a smile on my face. "I'm ready."

"Good, because the car is here waiting for us." He walked up to me smiling and leaned in for a quick kiss, his hands settling naturally on my hips.

"Come on, Eric," I insisted, taking his hand, "We shouldn't keep the car waiting."

The ride was not horribly long. We spent most of it studying.

**xXx**

Eric's home was beautiful. It was three stories of red brick, with balconies from several rooms on the upper floors and a wide porch out front, the pillars all carved ornately and painted a delicate white. There were cobblestone paths leading through the expansive gardens, which would have had many flowers blooming in a better season, I was sure. Snow covered everything, giving the place an almost fairytale look.

The driver took our bags and walked behind us as we approached the house, and Eric let us in, smiling as I entered and took in the wide entrance hall with the grand staircase at the back. There was a chandelier above us, I noted idly as Eric's parents came out to welcome us.

"Eric, dear, it's so nice to see you!" cried a woman who could only be his mother. She shared Eric's sandy brown hair and the deep dimples that appeared on either side of her face when she smiled. She walked over and hugged him tightly, pulling back to get a look at his face. "You seem very healthy. Have you been eating well?"

"Yes, Mother," he replied meekly, though I could see on his face he was remembering the month or so when he had barely eaten anything.

She turned to me next as Eric greeted his father. "You must be Edmund. Eric has told us so much about you. He's so excited to have a friend at Cambridge." She extended her hand and I dragged up the memories of proper etiquette Gracia had taught me, taking her hand and bowing, kissing my own thumb—because you never actually lay your lips on a lady's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Baker," I said, a smile upon my lips. I did not have to fake it, for she—like her son—was a person who made everyone around her want to smile.

I was faced next with his father who, while he was not openly hostile, did not seem terribly pleased that I was there. I wondered again what it was about him that Eric had not told me. Still, we exchanged greetings civilly and then moved into the parlor, where tea was served and we had some pleasant conversation. When I told his mother what I was studying and how I had come to attend Cambridge she was very impressed, exclaiming that someone as smart as me had come to befriend her son.

_Alright, I'll stop bragging now. I was making sure you were still listening to me._

Eric's parents left him the task of showing me to my room, and then we sat in the lounge chairs in there—for it was a very large room—and chatted for a while. "Your sister, you told me before that she would be getting married, didn't you?" I asked, crossing my legs and wondering if there was anything else to do in this house besides talk—not that I minded talking, but I would need more than that to keep my mind occupied all day.

"Yes, she did get married," he answered, seemingly not interested in the fact.

"Then she lives with her husband, doesn't she? She won't be here much."

"No, she comes over every morning, Mother says. She has nothing else to do, her husband being at work all day."

"Hmm. Will I get to meet her, then?"

"Of course, Ed. She's been so excited about seeing you, ever since I wrote and told her that I had made a friend." He was laughing, and I leaned back and enjoyed the sound. His laughs were becoming less and less rare, the longer I was with him.

**xXx**

After breakfast the next morning, Eric stole me away for a tour of the house which ended, inevitably, in the library. I marveled at their collection, though I was disappointed to note the lack of Science texts. Apparently his family was not big on the subject. Still, there were many books that looked interesting, and we spent some time browsing quietly.

The quiet was broken by a loud call of "Big brother!" and the subsequent shushing from Eric's mother. Into the room burst a giggling girl, a little shorter than me with dark brown hair and the greenest eyes I had ever seen. She ran and tackled Eric in a crushing hug, and I wondered if this girl was really old enough to be married. Eric, laughing, lifted her and twirled her around, hugging back tightly.

"How have you been, Elena? Has your husband been treating you well?" he asked her, and I could hear in his words just how much he cared for her.

"I'm fine, Eric. Daniel has been treating me very well, thank you." With that, she turned toward me, inspecting me carefully with her eyes. I have no idea what she saw, but apparently she was satisfied, and so she came up to greet me. "I am Eric's younger sister Elena, and as he seems to have no manners you'll have to introduce yourself."

Eric rolled his eyes. "Elena, this is my good friend Edmund Elric. Ed, my infuriating sister Elena Fletcher."

I smiled at her and took her hand as she extended it, bowing and kissing it the same way as her mother's. "Pleasure to meet you Mrs Fletcher," I murmured politely.

"The pleasure is all mine, but please don't call me Mrs Fletcher. It makes me seem so old. Elena is fine, since you are my brother's friend and therefore very like a brother to me." She smiled disarmingly after her statement, and I had to laugh.

"Very well, Elena. I look forward to being your brother."

Naturally, we hit it off very well.

**xXx**

After the noon meal Elena left to go visit some other friends before she returned home, and Eric decided that since we had the afternoon free, we should go shopping for Christmas gifts. "Even if you don't need to buy any, Ed, I have to find gifts for my family!"

So we found ourselves in a small town near their estate, strolling along the street despite the winter chill and shopping cheerfully. Eric quickly found gifts for his mother and sister—a pearl necklace and book of harpsichord music, respectively—and then we continued wandering for a while, trying to decide what he should get for his father. Eventually, we found a box of cigars that were very high quality, and Eric commented that his father enjoyed an after-supper smoke. The box was purchased, and we headed to a small café to have tea and discuss what we should do next.

"I have to get you a gift, still," he stated plainly, "And you can't be there when I do, or it won't be a surprise."

I nodded in agreement, thinking it a good time to find a gift for him as well. After tea we parted ways, and I went off in search of the greatest gift I could give him.

**xXx**

I soon realized that finding a gift was easier said than done. As I wandered, trying to think of something to get him, I stumbled upon some items that would be good gifts for his family, to thank them for their hospitality. I happened to notice that his father enjoyed an after-supper drink as well as a smoke, so I bought him a bottle of scotch that, if I were to be honest, was very expensive, but I was feeling a lot of coldness from him and was hoping that the gift would warm him up to me some.

For his mother, a bar of sweet-smelling wine soap and some tea that looked very good—chocolate and strawberries, I didn't even know you could put those things in tea!

For his sister, a book that—at some point during her constant chatter that morning—she had mentioned she wanted to read. For her husband I found a bottle of wine (Which she had mentioned he liked. I swear, that girl could talk for hours.)

I was getting frustrated looking for Eric's present when I saw the perfect thing, and ducked quickly into the store to buy it. He was going to be so excited!

**xXx**

We met up later and walked home; it wasn't far, and we had both decided that we could use the exercise. We traipsed along companionably, shivering slightly when a cold wind blew, until Eric broke the silence.

"Ed, there's something I need to tell you," he muttered, seeming upset about having to broach the subject.

"What's up?" I asked casually, wondering what was wrong.

"It's about my Father. There's more you need to know before something happens. He...he doesn't like homosexuals. In fact, it's worse than that. He absolutely hates them, loathes them to the very core of his being. Which is why I can't tell him about me...or about us. If he knew...I don't want to think about what would happen so...I know you're always careful, but I just wanted you to know why I'm kind of avoiding you a little while we're here. He can't find out." He looked frightened as he finished and, knowing his father now, I thought I understood.

"It's alright, Eric. I won't do anything that will make him suspect if you that's what you want. But...you know you're going to have to tell him sometime? Especially if this becomes a long term thing." I put a hand on his shoulder. To any innocent bystander, it would simply look like a man comforting his friend.

"I know. But I hope it'll be a little easier if he knows you already and maybe likes you a little," he sighs, running a hand through his hair and then placing it on top of mine. "You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now."

I squeezed his shoulder and smiled a little. "It's going to be alright, Eric. Your father can't be that bad."

"You have no idea," he mumbled, maybe hoping I wouldn't hear. I did, but I let it go anyway, and focused instead on getting back to his house before one or both of us froze to death.

**xXx**

The time leading up to Christmas was lazy, the days spent reading books, playing games, and having marvelous conversations with Elena and her mother. Their father did not often join us. Still, the holiday season was well-spent, and I enjoyed every minute of it. It was nice to just stop working so hard for a change and just relax. I think I needed that.

**xXx**

Christmas morning dawned bright and crisp, though there was a light snow falling. Eric and I were apparently acting like excited little boys, because his mother shooed us outside to enjoy the fresh air while she and Elena made Christmas dinner. As we disappointedly sulked away from where we had been enjoying the smells of the roast and the pies that were being cooked in the kitchen, we put on boots and coats and hats and stumbled outside into the snow.

Eric, the child in him coming out, flopped down into the snow and began waving his arms and legs, creating a snow angel and effectively covering himself in the fluffy white stuff. As he lay there enjoying the moment, my sneaky self started packing snow together in my hands and as he got up, suddenly his head jerked to the side. He turned to look at me, and sat staring for a moment as the half moon of snow slid off his ear and fell softly to the ground. I burst into laughter, clutching my sides, and as retribution for my wicked deeds was nailed directly in the face with a perfectly formed snowball.

Wiping the snow from my eyes I growled, "Oh, that's it. You're dead!" and promptly began packing another ball. It was a two hour match and ended in a tie because neither of us could feel our fingers anymore.

We shook the snow off as well as we could before traipsing back inside, where his mother caught sight of us and laughed, sending us off to change our clothes. Honestly, what did she expect when she sent us outside?

**xXx**

Christmas dinner was perhaps the best meal I have ever had. There was so much food I couldn't believe it, and we all stuffed ourselves until we could not possibly eat anymore...and then they brought out the pie.

After dinner there were gifts, and Elena was elected to open hers first. She exclaimed over the music from Eric and the book from me, and was ecstatic over the necklace she got from her husband and the new dress from her parents.

Next her husband opened his, and he was appreciative of the wine I gave him—apparently from his favorite vineyard. I had no idea of that when I bought.

Their mother was teased into opening hers after that, and so she did, smiling and equally thankful to everyone for the gifts that she received.

Next their father, who looked appreciative of the quality of the cigars and the scotch. When he saw the bottle, Eric turned to me with one eyebrow raised and I smiled sheepishly and shrugged. He wanted me to get along with his dad, right? This would definitely help.

Eric suggested that I go next, and so I did, accepting with gracious thanks the new set of handkerchiefs from his mother, a watch from his father (That I suspected his wife had picked out and bought for me), and a chess set from Elena and her husband. Eric's gift was suspiciously rectangular and hard underneath the wrapping, and I knew that it could be nothing else, but I was still surprised at the book that I found. Looking up at him I murmured, "Eric, I couldn't find this book anywhere. Where did you...?"

He smiled widely at me. "I wrote to the bookstore here and asked if they could special order it for me. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Thank you," I said, looking back at the cover of the new medical text in my arms, "This is amazing."

He waved it off and made a joke about it _finally_ being his turn, and I watched him unwrap several nice gifts from his family. I was confident though that my gift would be the best.

I was proven right as he unwrapped it and looked at me with dancing eyes. "Ed, this is so cool! Thank you so much!" He nearly pounced on me before remembering that his family was all around us and instead patted my back in a manly way.

I didn't miss the glare his father directed at me when he finally saw the title of the book I had given to Eric, but I pretended that I did. I didn't understand it and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin Christmas with a confrontation. There would be time for more investigation later, when it wouldn't spoil everyone's good mood.

I glanced down at Eric's new book as we all helped clean up the wrapping paper.

_"A Beginner's Guide to Self-Defense and the Martial Arts."_

_

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_

Done! Sorry if the gift scene was tedious. I'm tired and wasn't quite sure what I was doing. Hope you liked it anyway, and I hope you'll review, as that will maybe get me writing faster._  
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	53. Deception and LIES

**A/N:** This is early because I'm leaving for New Orleans tomorrow and won't be back for a week. Congratulations, you get a chapter! I hope you enjoy it, and I'll see y'all when I get back.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own New Orleans, though I wish I did. Oh, you meant the story! I don't own FMA, though I do own Eric and his family and I'm very proud of my OC right now. You'll see why by the end of the chapter.

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_**Chapter 47: Deception and LIES**_

After Christmas Eric and I decided that we needed to get back into our training, as the days without were making us weak. The morning after Christmas dawned clear and chill, but still we woke ourselves early and went out for our normal run. It felt good to exercise again.

When we returned to the house, Eric's parents were just coming downstairs for breakfast. His mother smiled at us and politely inquired as to where we had been. His father glared at me, but it went unnoticed—or perhaps ignored—to Eric and his mother

Eric beamed at his mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he explained, "Ed and I went out for a run to get some exercise. Dinner yesterday was great, but I think I ate too much." He didn't mention our training, and I had a feeling there were reasons behind that, but I didn't say anything. Something was going on with Eric's parents that I didn't know about, but it wasn't really my place to pry. Maybe he just didn't want them meddling in his affairs, which was completely understandable. Still, I couldn't help but think that there had to be more.

**xXx**

The next morning I came out of my room from changing my clothes after our run and went to Eric's room to see if he was finished. I was surprised to hear voices beyond the door, and further surprised when I realized that one of them belonged to his father. I knew I shouldn't eavesdrop, but to be honest my military instincts were kicking in and I really needed to get to the bottom of this. It was driving me insane. So, against my better judgment I stood outside the door and listened.

"He's the only friend I've ever had, you can't stop me from seeing him!" Eric was speaking strongly, standing up to his father, but I could tell from his voice that it was hard for him, and that he was reaching his breaking point anyway. I hoped his father wasn't as attuned to the emotions in his voice as I was.

"He's a damned bastard is what he is, and I'll not have you fraternizing with filth like him!" His father sounded surprisingly calm considering his words.

"He's not filth! He's helped and protected me. He noticed my eating disorder before I collapsed vomiting blood!"

"You will not speak to me like that! I am your father, and as long as you live in _my house_ you will do as I say."

"I'm protecting myself, like he taught me, and I'll be damned before I'll let you hurt me again!"

I'd heard enough, so I slipped quietly away. I would wait in the library until Eric was ready to talk to me.

**xXx**

I sat in the library all morning, too distracted by what I'd heard to concentrate on reading, but Eric did not arrive. When Elena came to find me at noon and announced that dinner was served, I sluggishly got up and went out with her. But Eric did not join us for the meal, and we ate in tense silence. I finished quickly and retreated to my room.

I do not know how long I sat there—a few minutes, a few hours—before I heard the shutting of a door from the room next to mine and then soft footfalls in the corridor. My door opened and Eric slipped in, closing it gently behind him. I stood as he entered, walked towards him, and gathered him in my arms as he fell against me sobbing. He buried himself in my chest like a small child needing to be comforted, and I stroked his back and murmured sweet nothings in his ears until he calmed.

When the tears stopped flowing he looked up at me and I could see the decision in his eyes. Before I could question him, however, he was kissing me. I couldn't say that I minded, though there was that constant nagging guilt in the back of my mind that reminded me that I already had a lover. I told that part of me to shut up, because right then I needed to be there for Eric.

I kissed him back, one hand running up his back to clutch the nape of his neck as I slipped my tongue into his mouth. In hindsight, I should have remained a little more aware of my surroundings, because I didn't pull away from the kiss until I heard an enraged growl from the doorway.

I looked up and saw Eric's father standing there, sending me the most murderous look I had ever seen from anybody, and in my case that's saying something. Automatically, I pulled Eric behind me, shielding him. His father advanced on us and pulled back to hit me, and I debated blocking but inside my head I was screaming, _'I seduced his son, I deserve to be punched!'_ while another part of my brain insisted that _Eric_ had seduced _me._ It turned out that I didn't have to make a decision at all, because it was rather abruptly made for me, and there was a hard slap of skin on skin.

I stared blankly at Eric's hand perfectly cupping his father's fist, just as I had taught him. "Ed is my friend," he growled, and I swear he made me proud right at that moment he sounded so much like me. "You will not hurt my friend," he stepped around me, his target clear, "And you will not hurt me. Not anymore."

His father looked nearly as shocked as I was. That emotion was quickly turned to pain as Eric swiftly kneed him in the stomach and then punched him square in the jaw. All the moves were painful, but they would leave no lasting damage. Eric wasn't even strong enough to have dislocated his jaw with that punch.

"Ed, pack your bags," Eric told me, his face deadly serious, "We're leaving this place, and we are _never _coming back."

I nodded, understanding in my face, and gathered my luggage. Thankfully, most of it I had repacked as I used it, thinking to make things easier on myself at the end of the trip. When I had my bags in hand he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, looking defiantly at his father, and led me out of the room. We stopped in his bedroom to gather his belongings, and then we were off down the stairs, heading for the front door.

His mother stopped us as we were putting on our coats, looking worried and near hysterical. "What's going on, Eric? Why are you leaving?"

Eric gazed at his mother's face, and I could see the worry for her there, but also the determination and confidence in his decision. "Mother," he murmured, stepping forward to cup her face, "I'm in love with Edmund. Father doesn't approve, but I don't care what Father thinks anymore, because he's hurt me and now he's tried to hurt Ed. I can't stay here any longer, Mother, I'm sorry." Then he kissed her on the forehead, pulled her into a tight, brief hug, and pulled away. He took my hand and we left the house together. He didn't look back.

"Eric, where are we going?" I asked as we walked down the road toward town.

"We're going to go get on a train," he told me, gripping my hand a little tighter.

"A train to where?" I insisted. I knew he was upset, but we needed to have a solid plan. Wandering in the cold would do neither of us any good.

He looked at me, unsure, all of his confidence leaking away. "I don't know," he mumbled, "I didn't think that far. This was a bad idea, huh?"

"No Eric, I'm glad you stood up to your father. But right now we need a plan. Are we going back to school?"

"No, not the school, that's the first place he'll look."

"Alright then. How about somewhere he'll never think to look? We could stay at Edward's place."

He glanced at me briefly, still unsure. "Is that alright?"

I squeezed his hand reassuringly. "He won't mind. He's not even there right now, and when he gets back he'll definitely understand. Then...we can figure out what to do from there."

"Thank you, Ed. I love you so much," he whispered, beginning to cry.

Knowing I didn't feel the same as he did, and knowing that I was betraying you, I murmured, "I love you too, Eric."

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Yikes! What has Ed gotten himself into? Find out next week! Hopefully by then I'll have rested up and put my brain back together after the epic trip I'm going on. Please review so that I will have something awesome to come home to!


	54. Eric Explodes

**A/N:** I'm back! I returned from the Southern state of Louisiana on Thursday afternoon. When I got home I was so excited to find all the reviews I had been left! Here's the deal with this update: double chapters, whoa dang! This will become a regular occurrence from now on, as I feel that I'm closing a chapter in my life and this fanfic has been a part of it. Therefore I will be trying to finish it completely within the next couple of weeks. Not to say that I'll disappear from the fanfiction world. Watch out, there will be more from me. But this story is definitely going to be finished and over with. So, here's the first of two chapters!

**Warning: Negative comments about homosexuals in this chapter are not my personal views, nor do I support them. Please be advised.**

**Disclaimer: **I'm pretty sure that I am not in possession of the copyright for any manga, as much as I might wish to own FMA.

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_**Chapter 48: Eric explodes**_

I unlocked the door to the ground floor laboratory Edward's apartment was situated above and watched in amusement as Eric marveled at the equipment. We had taken the first train to London which, mercifully, had been departing about an hour after we left his house. Eric, drained, had fallen asleep on my shoulder and stayed there the entire ride. Upon waking, he had been much more animated, though whether it was the sleep or the knowledge that he was far away from his father that was making him so, I had no idea. Either way, I was glad for it. I wasn't nearly as fond of the somber Eric.

Seeing him wander and exclaim in wonder at the shiny objects and delicate instruments within the lab I called out, "Don't touch anything, Eric. I would really hate for you to explode."

He stuck his tongue out at me and turned away, wandering further back between the lab tables. Truly, I was not worried. Eric had a good head on his shoulders and knew well enough not to play with unstable chemicals. The professors at Cambridge had taught him that, at least.

I picked my bag up from where I had set it in order to unlock the door and headed towards the stairs. "I'm going to get settled in, Eric. Come up whenever you're ready," I said, climbing slowly. Why were there so many damned stairs in this place? Why couldn't it all be on one floor?

Upon gaining the top, I realized that Edward was still just as disorganized as I had remembered. Sighing, I set down my luggage and began cleaning. Books were stacked neatly and taken to the library, dishes were washed, and from somewhere I managed to procure a broom with which to sweep floors which clearly hadn't seen one in quite some time. After nearly an hour, I had finally finished with the kitchen and sitting room. I did not want to think about the other rooms for the moment.

It was at that point that I remembered Eric, and wondered why he hadn't come upstairs yet. Curious, I went down to the lab again, looking around for him. I found him sitting on a lab stool, rolling an empty test tube between his fingers and gazing at it with a glazed expression on his face.

"Eric," I murmured carefully, so as not to startle him, "Are you alright?"

He looked up at me, his trance broken, and shook his head as if to clear it. "I'm fine, I just...do you really think I did the right thing?"

I studied him for a moment, and then laid my hand on his shoulder. "I don't pretend to know what there is between you and your father, Eric. But from what I could tell, he's hurt you and you were protecting yourself. As far as I'm concerned, there's no way that that could be a bad decision."

He stood, wrapped his arms around me tightly. "You're the reason I did it. You've been my strength, these last few months, and you've taught me so much about myself. So now...I think I'm ready to tell you what's really been going on."

"You don't have to, Eric..."

"Yes I do. You need to know. But more than that...I need to say it. I've carried these burdens long enough, and it's time I let them go."

"Alright Eric, let's go upstairs then."

**xXx**

I got him settled on the sofa, made him tea, brought him a blanket, whatever I could do, and finally he grabbed my arm and said, "Ed, just sit with me. Hold me, because I know I'm going to need it if I'm going to get through the whole story."

I nodded, sitting and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

He took a shaky breath and began. "Since I was very young, I was taught that homosexuals were strange, unnatural. I was taught to avoid them like the plague, to scorn them as if they weren't even human. When I got old enough to think for myself, I realized that homosexuals weren't disgusting or odd, that they were people too, they were just different. I spoke up to my parents about it, and that's when the beatings started. My father would whip me, all the while telling me that my ideas were wrong, and that if I ever got anywhere near a homosexual they would rape me, because they had no sense of right and wrong, no morals.

"I knew he was wrong, but I was afraid of the beatings, afraid of _him_. I kept silent as much as I could, but sometimes it was so hard, when he would scorn people as if they were dirt. I couldn't stand it, and I would explode. As time passed, the beatings grew worse. When I was twelve, I met a homosexual man. I didn't know at first, but I quickly found out when my father came and tore me away from him, and took me home and beat me, all the while ranting about how I could have been touched by someone so _unclean_. That was what cinched it for me. Somehow in my heart I knew that I had to protect them from him.

"I told you before that my eating disorders were to get attention, and that was partly the truth. Actually, they were to take attention away from the other things I was doing behind my father's back. Meeting homosexuals, visiting them, getting to know them as people, instead of as the label my father hid them behind. My plans did not work as well as I'd hoped, and I got more beatings for my trouble. To be honest, when I left for Cambridge this fall he was starting to break me.

"But then I met you, and felt that attraction, and though my upbringing and my own beliefs battled inside me, my beliefs were usually the victor. When I fell in love with you I realized that nothing could be more natural for me, and I wondered how my father could ever possibly condemn this. Going back home...and facing him for real, not behind a mask of submission was the most liberating thing. And I have no idea where I'm going to go from here, and I have no idea what I'm going to do, because I know that I can never go back to that house and maybe not even back to school, but I do know that from now on I want you to be with me always."

He looked up at me with those big eyes and I wondered if I would ever be able to say no to him. "Eric, are you sure that that's what you want? I have secrets too, secrets far larger even than any of yours. You should also know that I'm not so good at commitment, and I tend to leave people behind."

"I'm sure, Ed. Whatever secrets you have, I can handle them. And I swear that if you leave me, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth." He took one of my hands in both of his and squeezed it gently, his face determined.

"Alright Eric Baker. I'll give you my forever."

"I give you mine as well, Edmund Elric."

I blanched. "Right, about that. My name's not Edmund, it's Edward."

"But...I thought you said your twin brother was named Edward?" He looked...hurt? Confused?

"He is. But he's not actually my brother and...it's a long story, Eric, and it's late," I mumbled, running a hand through my hair, causing parts of it to come loose from the braid.

"I hardly think that matters, _Edward._ I told you my secrets. If you're truly committed to this relationship, then it's time to tell me yours," he growled, and then he actually had the nerve to sit on me!

"Well then," I sighed, looking at him planted firmly in my lap, "I guess I'd best start talking then."

My story took a while, and included a whole lot of tears and several instances where he hit me rather violently. When I spoke of the automail, he insisted I roll up my pant leg to show him that I was truly made of flesh again, and at mentions of you he seemed both jealous and smug.

It was late when I finished and he finally consented to sleep. We shared a bed that night, but no, nothing but sleeping happened, though he was curled against my side with my arm about his waist until morning.

**xXx**

_Stop that, Roy. Nothing happened, really! Yes, if it had happened I would have topped. I don't love anyone but you enough to bottom for them. Oh, stop being all embarrassed, you provoked me on purpose to get me to say it. Finish your work, Bastard, because you had better be home on time tonight. I'll see you for dinner. Yeah, I love you too._

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This chapter was hard for me to write. Eric's story had me a little bit in tears, for lots of reasons. I so wanted to leave it out, but I felt it was an essential part of the story. Anyway, please review, and remember to go read the next chapter!_  
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	55. Groceries and Tuition?

_**Double post! Don't read this until you've read chapter 48: "Eric explodes!"**_

**A/N:** That said, I almost had a heart attack because I thought I'd lost half this chapter and had to rewrite the whole thing. It's good that I didn't, the new version wasn't nearly as good.

**Disclaimer: **I am a short person with long blonde hair, why would I need to own Edward?

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_**Chapter 49: Groceries and Tuition?**_

By the time Eric and I woke up the next morning it was late, nearly noon. While he dressed himself, I went to the kitchen in search of food. I was disheartened to find none. "Hey Eric," I called, wandering back into the guest room we had shared the night before, "There's nothing edible in the kitchen, we're going to have to go shopping."

He grunted, still not fully awake, and pulled his shirt on. I took that as a good sign and went back out, reminding myself that I really needed to finish cleaning the place. The guest room was filthy.

After finding shoes and coats we headed out, aiming to buy groceries and get back to the apartment as soon as possible. It was cold, and neither of us really wanted to be out longer than necessary.

"Let's go to the marketplace," I decided on a whim, heading off in that direction.

Eric followed me looking bewildered. "Why don't we just go to a grocery store?" he asked, trotting to catch up after my abrupt change in direction.

"The people who work in the marketplace depend on it for their livelihood. Besides, I'm friends with many of the vendors, they'll give us a discount." I slowed down a little so that he wouldn't fall behind.

"Alright," he murmured, "Whatever you say, Ed."

**xXx**

The marketplace was just as I remembered it. The bustling people, the shouts of the vendors ("Fresh fish! Best fish around!") and the smells of cooking food all brought with them a feeling of nostalgia. This place had been mine for over half a year. The marketplace was second only to the laboratory in my heart.

_Yes, and you, but that wasn't what I was talking about._

We bought vegetables (though there weren't many to be had, and most of them preserved,) flour, butter, and fish. "No, Eric, we can't get beef. It's too expensive." I hated to deny him anything, but I really didn't have the money to buy beef.

"I haven't had beef in forever though," he whined, albeit quietly because he was still a grown man.

"You just had some at Christmas. You know I don't have a job right now because I've been focusing on my studies and..." I trailed off because I had just seen a way of earning the money to buy Eric what he wanted.

"Ed," Eric asked, watching my face, "What is it?"

"Just...stay put for a little bit, alright? I just thought of something." With that, I took off towards the far end of the marketplace, leaving Eric with our bags of groceries.

I'm pretty sure that Eric watched in shocked surprise as I walked up to Mr Danielson's cart and a cheer went up through the crowd around it. I was glad to see that business had not dwindled since I'd left. Without preamble I yanked off my gloves and shoved them in my pockets, took the spare apron that still hung on one end of the cart and put it on, and stepped behind the counter next to my elderly former employer. "Hey, Mr Danielson," I greeted casually, "How has business been?"

He was looking at me in surprise, and I guess I didn't blame him. Normal people would let others know instead of just deciding to do whatever they wanted. But I wasn't exactly normal, so really I couldn't be blamed.

I smelled it before I heard the telltale sizzle that came from the cooking meat. I reached around the still-gaping Mr Danielson, picked up his spatula, and flipped the food over before it became over-cooked. "Meat's burning," I told him smiling. That seemed to knock him out of his trance, and he quickly went back to his tasks. Together, we made short work of serving the crowd in front of the stall, and soon there was a lag in customers, long enough that we could take a breather.

I saw from the corner of my eye the moment Eric decided to approach. Without a word I took the last bun from the grill, wrapped it up expertly, and handed it to him. Finally, I met his eyes. "You were hungry, weren't you?" I asked him, smiling.

"Ed..."

"You asked me once what I did before Cambridge, and before I worked with Edward. This is it. Whatever happened before then doesn't really matter anymore. There's no going back to that life whether I want it or not, so I might as well get comfortable here. This is what I am now, and this is where I'm going to stay."

His face took on a thoughtful look, and I thought that he was going to say something, but just then more customers came up, exclaiming over my presence, and he was washed aside by the flood. Whatever it was, he could tell me later. After all, we had all the time in the world.

**xXx**

_I believed that then, Roy. I was truly resigning myself to that life. I was determined not to let my past burden my future. I thought I could never come back, so there was no use thinking about it. That chapter of my life was over, it was time to move on._

_ You might not ever understand completely what it was like for me. I had found Eric, who loved me, and a part of me truly wanted to love him back. I wanted to be there for him, but I knew it wasn't fair that he loved me and I only had fond feelings for him. You have no idea how hard it was. You have no idea how many nights I laid awake wondering if it was alright to fall in love with him, or if I would even be able to get over you. It nearly broke me, and I wonder still how I managed to hold myself together._

_ I love you, you know that. I've always loved you. Eric was important to me, but if I had the choice between staying with you and returning to him, I would always stay. Every time, Roy. Every damn time, I would always pick you, because you and I have something that I could never have had with Eric._

**xXx**_  
_

For the remainder of the holiday, I worked as Ed the meat bun guy for part of the day. When I returned home to Eric in the evening, I would always have a treat for him—some hard candies, canned fruit, occasionally meat, and once a book. I think a part of me was trying to make up for the fact that I didn't love him, though I knew that material things could never equal love.

The new semester quickly approached, and finally I felt I needed to broach the subject of school. So one night after dinner, as we were curled together on the sofa relaxing from the day (Eric had taken up the task of cleaning the apartment so that I could go to work,) I spoke up.

"Hey Eric, have you thought of what you're going to do about school?" I asked hesitantly.

He looked at me sadly. "I don't think I can go back. For one thing, Father will find out, and for another, I don't have the money for it without his help."

"But Eric, you have to go to school. What else are you going to do, make meat buns on a street corner for your entire life?"

"It seems to have worked alright for Mr Danielson," He shrugged.

"But is that what _you_ want to do? If you're really passionate about it and that's all you want to do, I won't hinder you. But you're meant for better things, Eric, and you and I both know it." I pushed his shoulder lightly, silently begging him to agree with me.

"You're right. I would probably fail at cooking anyway. I'm not like you. But there's no way I can go back to school, not without money." He scooted away from me a little, but I would have none of that and scooted right after him.

"I have some saved up. Probably only enough for one semester, but that would give you time to find a job and earn some of your own." Something inside me knew that he wouldn't accept this suggestion even before I said it, but I had to anyway.

"I can't take your money, Ed. You need that." He wouldn't look at me, and I took that as a bad sign. As well I should have.  
"We'll talk to some professors then, see if we can get you any scholarships, or ask the school to delay your payments for a month or two, just until you've earned something. But really, Eric, it's just money. I can earn more. My savings are a result of less than a year's work, and once I've gotten a degree I'll be able to earn two, three times that much." I placed a careful hand on his arm, willing him to look at me.

"I'll figure it out, Ed. As long as I've got you, nothing else matters. Just knowing you're there supporting me makes me strong." He turned his eyes to me, locking them with my own, and I knew that I couldn't lie to him right then, because I felt that he could see into my very soul.

"I would do so much for you, Eric. I know you're scared, and that this is going to be hard. But I think the best thing to do would be to show your father that you don't need him. Going back to school would show him that you're just fine by yourself."

He smiled a little. "You're right. Fine, you can pay my tuition, but we're still going to see about some scholarships, and I'm going to pay you back just as soon as I am able. We're going to do this together."

"Which is as it should be, Eric. We started this whole mess together, so we should end it together as well."

He leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss then, after which I cannot be responsible for my actions.

**xXx**

_For Alchemy's sake, Roy, what did you think I meant? Yes, _that._ ...I told you that you're the only one I've ever loved enough to...why are we even having this conversation? _You_ had to further the point, I was just going to leave it there. Fine, why don't you tell the story then? Well you seem to think that you know better than I do! ...shut up. I'm done with your crap, I'm not going to deal with this anymore! ...I don't care if I wake Selim, this was your fault. No, I'm not just going to fall into your arms as if nothing has happened. ...no, I don't want make-up sex either. I hate you!_

_ ...well alright, maybe I want make-up sex just a little bit._

_ Yeah, I love you too, Bastard._

_

* * *

_

There, that's all you get for tonight. Please don't forget to review, it would make my day!_  
_


	56. Disowned

_**Chapter 50: Disowned**_

Eric's professors were more than happy to help him find scholarships. We managed to get his tuition down to less than half of what it had been, and I had plenty of money saved to pay for the rest. We all moved into new dorm rooms that semester, and somehow the two of us managed to get a room together. Eric was ecstatic, and I wasn't unhappy with the arrangements.

He started looking for a job as soon as we got back to Cambridge, but after a week he still hadn't had any luck. I encouraged him to keep looking, having known from the beginning that it might be hard. Eric lacked any real skills because of his upbringing, so there were very few people willing to hire him. I thought perhaps he was looking in the wrong places, so I started searching as well, to help him out.

"Hey, Eric," I called as he returned to our room one night, drained and frustrated, having spent another day out looking for work only to come up with nothing. "I talked to some people today. There's a book shop on main street that's looking for someone to stock shelves. I told them about you and they want you to come in for an interview tomorrow."

He just stared at me for several minutes before he pounced on me, showering kisses all over my face. "Thank you, Ed, thank you! I'm so lucky to have you!"

I laughed, holding him still so that I could get a proper kiss. "You don't need to thank me. I'm just being a good boyfriend."

**xXx**

The next day he went to the interview and got the job. I've never been more proud of him.

**xXx**

We once again fell into routine. We got up in the morning and went for a run, ate breakfast, went to classes, had lunch, went to classes, Eric went to work while I studied, then I picked him up and we went to dinner, had training, and spent what remained of the evening studying before going to bed far too late and starting all over again in the morning.

Of course, it was inevitable that our routine should be interrupted one day. And it was, about three weeks later. I was just leaving the dorm to pick Eric up for dinner when I ran into someone that neither myself nor Eric really wanted to see.

"Mr Baker," I greeted stiffly as he blocked my path in the corridor, "I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be somewhere and you seem to be in my way."

"And you," he countered, pointing one thick finger at me, "Just came out of my son's dormitory. Which leads me to believe that he must be in there, and that you've just finished doing disgusting things to him."

"Actually Sir," I commented calmly, "I've just been studying in _my_ room, and am now going out for dinner. Eric is currently at work."

"Who are you to know where my son is at all times?" he growled, glaring at me. "And why would my son need to work? He's at university because he doesn't know how to work!"

"Eric knows how to do a lot more than you give him credit for, Mr Baker, and he's working because he needed to pay his tuition somehow. I've seen how determined he is, and I've never been more proud of him."

"What are you, then, his master? What right do you have to force my son to work his way through school?"

"_You Sir_ are the one who forced Eric to work for his tuition. And I'm not his master, I'm his lover."

He took me by the collar and pulled me towards him, yelling right in my face, "You! What sort of nonsense have you been filling my son's head with? I have been nothing but supportive of him his entire-"

"Beating someone isn't being supportive of them!" I took a deep breath to calm myself and said plainly, "I didn't put anything in Eric's head that he didn't want there. I'm not forcing him to be with me, and I'm certainly not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. The difference between me and you, Mr Baker, is that I'm giving Eric a choice...and you didn't. That's why he left home. That's why he's so determined to make it on his own now. That's why he doesn't take shit from anyone anymore, not even me. He's stronger now than he was when I met him a few months ago, and that's why no matter what, I won't let you hurt him. I won't let you tear him down again and turn him back into that man, the one who just let people push him around because he was too tired to fight anymore."

He had no response, and I took hold of his wrist and forced him to let go of my shirt. I threw his hand down and said in monotone, "Goodbye, Mr Baker."

**xXx**

When I arrived at the bookstore where Eric worked, he was standing outside waiting for me. "Ed, what took you so long? I thought you'd forgotten about me," he pouted.

I walked up and patted his shoulder gently, not looking him in the eyes. "I ran into someone on the way here and we were chatting. Sorry I'm late."

He heard the flat tone of my voice and saw the look on my face and I knew that I couldn't hide from him. "Ed, what happened? Why do you look so upset?"

"I...your father's here, Eric. I ran into him on my way out. He...he knows that you're back at Cambridge and he also knows about us. I don't...I don't know what to do. I should have protected you better, but I couldn't and..."

"It's alright, Ed," he murmured softly, taking me by the arm and leading me home. "I'm not afraid of that man anymore, so you don't have to protect me. I can take care of myself. We already knew that he would find out everything sooner or later, and he already had some pretty big hints about us, so it doesn't matter. What does matter is that right now we are going to go eat dinner and then we are going to training, just like always, alright?"

I nodded mutely and he dragged me along. Again I wondered how Eric had gotten to be the strong one.

**xXx**

I had dearly hoped that I had scared his father away; that Eric wouldn't have to deal with him at all. It was not to be, as apparently Mr Baker had decided to camp out outside our dorm door until we returned. We came back sweating from our sparring session, laughing and joking with each other as always, but froze as we came within sight of him.

"Father," Eric murmured a little weakly. He quickly remembered himself, however, and said more firmly, "Father, what are you doing here?"

Mr Baker looked up when he heard Eric's words and approached us, looking furious. Well, at least we knew that the time alone hadn't served to cool his anger any. "What are you doing with _him, _Son? _He's _disgusting! Why would you spend time with something like that?"

Those words triggered angry thoughts in my own mind, but I resolved to stay quiet for a time and see how Eric handled things on his own. "_Ed_ and I are going back to our room to study, not that it's any of your business. Now if you'll excuse us, we have a lot of work to do." He emphasized my name, and I knew that it was partly out of offense at my being called a thing and partly his attempt at getting a rise out of his father.

"Don't lie to me, boy!" Mr Baker turned to me next. "You've sullied my son, and I will not have it! I'm pulling him out of school immediately."

"You can't do that," I told him seriously.

"I can do whatever the hell I want with my own son!" he roared, shaking a fist at me in a way that I was sure was supposed to be menacing.

"No, you can't, Mr Baker," I insisted, not shying from his flailing, "Because Eric is a legal adult, and you can't make him do anything against his wishes."

"Don't you dare talk to me in that way, you piece of filth!"

"Uh-oh. His Daddy's caught you in the act. What are you going to do now, Elric?" This voice came from farther down the hall, and I shot a glare at Jackson, whom I had thought I would never have to deal with again.

"Shut up, Jackson." I looked in shock at Eric, who had never spoken to Jackson that way before. "Ed and I are lovers, and it was my choice to be so. In fact, Father," and here he turned to face Mr Baker, "Ed resisted the relationship at first, rather than the other way around. He hasn't forced me into anything, if anything I've forced _him_ into this. Ed has only ever been supportive of me and my choices, and I had hoped that someday you could be as well, Father, but I see now that that is a lost cause. I will continue to attend Cambridge, I will continue to room with Ed, and I will continue to make love with him every night, because that is what I want to do. You cannot stop me, and you cannot change my mind, no matter how much you might like to. I'm sorry that all of this had to happen the way it did, but I am not sorry that it happened. I love you, Father, but frankly, I love Ed more."

Eric took my hand then and led me past his father and into our room. He was surprisingly calm all the while, but as soon as the door was closed behind us he collapsed into my arms, sobbing. "Shh, Eric, it's alright," I murmured softly, "I know it was hard, but you were very brave out there. I've never been more proud of you."

He cried himself to sleep in my arms that night. We didn't get any studying done.

**xXx**

We didn't see his father after that, but a few weeks later Eric received a letter.

_"Eric,_

_ "I can see that no matter what I do, you will never come around to my way of thinking. I have decided that there is nothing else for it: you are no longer my son. I regret losing my heir, and I wish things could have been different, but I can see that I have no choice in the matter. We will not expect to see you over the summer holidays._

_ "Jared Baker."_

After that letter, Eric spent another night crying. I think the worst part was that his father showed no regret over losing someone he cared about, only about losing his only way to carry on the family name.

I knew I would have to be there for Eric even more than I had previously. He was too fragile then, unsure of everything, even my feelings for him, and it hurt to know that there was very little I could do to assuage his fears.

I could never love him the way I did you.


	57. Loss

**_Chapter 51: Loss_**

The summer holidays came quickly. No sooner, I felt, had we started the spring term than it was over. Lacking another place to go, Eric and I retreated to London for a time; myself to work with Mr Danielson and Edward, and Eric to work in a bookstore in the city, run by the brother of his employer at Cambridge. We were glad of the respite from the grueling schedule that our studies demanded, though of course we were not satisfied to simply spend the summer lazing about and letting our brains rot. We spent much of our free time reading and discussing books, both scientific and otherwise, and another, smaller portion of our days was, of course, used for our usual physical training.

Eric was progressing incredibly well in everything he did. I knew, watching him, that the only one who deserved credit for it was Eric himself, for I could see that this was his true character, and had only been stifled all along by fear and self-loathing. He had assumed that he could never do something right, but being brought out of his shell, as leaving his father had done, was bringing great changes in Eric and how he saw the world. Suddenly it was a much wider place than he had thought, where thoughts and ideas were welcomed, and where sometimes there was more than one right answer, or perhaps there wasn't one at all.

He confided in me daily, all his worries and fears, and the triumphs, too, of course, which were becoming more and more numerous everyday. I worried sometimes that he was becoming too attached to me, too dependent on me, and that if I left, he would no longer be able to stand on his own. I wondered what he would do if that happened, if he would go crawling back to his father and beg to be let back into his good graces. I dearly hoped that wouldn't be the case. I don't think I could bear to see it.

The summer holiday was full to the brim of lively, joyful memories, like a pot of delicious stew just boiling over.

_ Stop laughing at me, Bastard, I'm hungry. Why don't you go make me something to eat? Fine, be that way, I'll do it myself._

That pot, unfortunately, was upset towards the end of our stay by a giant rock tossed right in the middle of it.

**xXx**

"Edward?" I called, stepping into the ground floor laboratory of my 'twin brother's' home. Eric was still working at the bookstore and would be for another few hours, and I had come back early to help with Edward's research. Strangely, the lab was dark and quiet, and I called again for Edward, wondering if he had gone out for some reason. When still there was no answer, I turned on some lights and looked around. I could hardly believe what I saw.

The entire workbench on the far side of the laboratory—the one that held his most precious research—had been destroyed. Beakers lay broken on the floor, chemical solutions seeping slowly across the wooden planks and dripping from shards of glass. His notes were all either soaked or burnt to ashes. A Bunsen burner lay on its side, its flame burning slowly inside a petri dish. I went over and turned it off immediately, fearing a fire, and then went in search of Edward as it was evident that he was not there.

I found him in the library, throwing books off the shelves as if he were possessed. Rushing to him, I took firm hold of his arm, just in time to stop him from tossing away a book that I knew was worth more than a hundred pounds; an original, out of print, limited edition text that he had searched for years to find.

"Edward," I said to him, looking into his swollen, bloodshot eyes and gently taking the book from him and replacing it on the shelf, "What has happened? Why are you throwing away your books? Why have you destroyed all your research?"

"It doesn't matter now. Everything I worked for is all meaningless. The reason I was doing it all..." He broke down and cried. I pulled him into my arms and allowed him to cry into my shoulder until he had calmed some.

"Edward," I tried again, leading him to a chair, "What happened to make you this way?"

He sat down heavily, burying his face in his hands, and mumbled so that I had to strain to hear, "It's Alfons."

I shook my head in confusion and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "What about Alfons? Has he gotten worse?"

He gave a humorless chuckle as he muttered, "You could say that," and then sobs tore through his chest once more.

It dawned on me suddenly as I put all the pieces together. "Edward," I asked, slowly, "Is Alfons..."

He looked up at me, the tear tracks making his cheeks glitter in the low light, and whispered, "He's gone, Ed. After everything we did to help him," he choked on another sob, "It was all for naught. I've lost my last important person. There's nothing left for me to live for." He stood up, turning to resume the decimation of his library, but I took his hand.

"Edward, you've still got me." I begged him with my eyes not to be like this. I felt the tears welling up, felt myself mourning Alfons as well, but tried to be strong for him, seeing how much greater his grief was.

He snorted, and again it tore at my heartstrings to hear the lack of any real emotion in the gesture. "Fat lot of good you've done me, haven't you? A bleeding copy of myself to follow me around and fail at healing Alfons just as much as I do! What's the point? I'm worthless. _**I should just die**_!" The last he screamed, tearing at his arms and clawing at his throat.

I couldn't bring myself to be angry at his harsh words about me, seeing how broken he was, how much he blamed himself. I restrained him, using only the force necessary, and tried to calm him, but I feared there was nothing I could do for him. In his hysterical state, he could not see reason. Wishing there were another way, I pressed a pressure point on his neck, and he fell heavily into my arms in a dead faint.

**xXx**

When Eric returned, I was sitting on the sofa, leaned over with my elbows resting on my knees and my face buried in my hands. I had cried my fill hours past, and was left feeling bone-weary and tired, and listening nervously for the sound of Edward awaking in the other room. I had bound him to the bed for his own safety, though I hated to do it, and was simply...waiting. For him to wake up or for Eric to return I wasn't sure, but I was waiting.

"What happened to the lab?" Eric asked as he walked in, taking his shoes off and coming to sit beside me.

"Edward happened to the lab," I responded, rubbing my face before removing my hands and giving a deep sigh.

Eric gasped and pressed closer to me, looking worried. "Is he alright? Why would he destroy his life's work?"

"Because he's convinced that he has nothing left to live for. Remember when I told you about his cousin Alfons?"

"Of course, but what does he have to do with it?"

Though I thought I had finished crying, another tear slipped down my cheek. "Alfons died. Edward isn't taking it too well. I don't know what to do for him." I stood up and began to pace. "He acted like he was going to kill himself. His behavior was so self-destructive that I had no choice but to knock him out and tie him to his bed." I looked pleadingly at Eric, my eyes begging, 'Tell me what to do!'

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and seemed to think for a moment. Finally, he stood up and walked into Edward's bedroom without saying a word.

**xXx**

A few hours later, as I made supper just to busy myself, I heard shuffling feet behind me and turned to see Edward trailing into the kitchen, not happy, but certainly less broken and depressed than he had been, and Eric following slowly behind with a small, proud smile on his face.

I went over to Eric and nudged him in the side, whispering in his ear, "What did you do?"

His smile grew just slightly as he nudged back and replied, "I talked about my brother, and then I shared with him something a very wise person once told me."

"Oh?" I asked, slightly surprised, "And what was that?"

He leaned into me, pressed his lips to my cheek and then murmured softly, "'We cannot wallow in past regrets. We must bear our sins and move on.' You may not realize it, Ed," he sighed, his tongue flicking out to taste the shell of my ear, "But you inspire people. It was those words that helped me finally get over my guilt at my brother's death. When people we love die, it's normal to blame ourselves. But you taught me that even if I blame myself, I can shoulder that guilt and keep on living. It doesn't have to consume me."

"Oh, Eric...," I sighed, my hand sliding to his back, "I never realized that I was so important to you."

"You're important to a lot more people than you realize. You've got this wisdom beyond your years, and it makes people want to listen to you, to hang on your every word." He leaned up, clearly seeking a kiss, but I had fallen into thought and missed it, so he pecked the corner of my lips and pulled away.

Edward lifted his head up from the glass of water he had gotten himself and turned suddenly toward the stove. Eric laughed as he noticed what Edward had reacted to, going to take the pan I had been cooking in off the heat before all the food was burnt beyond recognition. Realizing what I had done, I hurried to help, and the quiet, pensive moment was gone.

**xXx**

_It wasn't exactly a new concept to me, being looked up to. But being 'The Hero of the People' was a little different than being respected and awed for being 'wise.' Most of the time I just said things without really thinking about them. You know how I am. That's why it was weird, something new. Eric made me think that maybe I could be someone important. It was a good feeling._

_ Yeah, being with you is a good feeling too. It's a different feeling, but definitely good all the same. Yes, when you touch me it's a good feeling. And yes, when you k—mmph._

_ Oh, go to work, you ass._


	58. Broken

**_Chapter 52: Broken_**

The end of our summer holiday found us traveling to Munich. Alfons' friends had buried him, but Edward wanted to go see his grave, and Eric and I went with him for moral support. Unlike my last visit to Germany, this one was very somber and quiet. It hurt to remember that the last time we'd been there, Alfons had been alive and well, welcoming us into his home and treating us to food and wine. This time, Edward quietly unlocked the door of Alfons' home—now his own, as Alfons had left all his possessions to Edward—and murmuring, "You know where things are, Ed," wandered off down the hall that I knew led to Alfons' bedroom. Alfons hadn't died there, from what I understood he had collapsed suddenly at work, and had suffocated on the blood in his lungs before anyone could do anything for him. Not that much could be done for a person with that much blood clogging their airways, but... Still, knowing that Alfons had died doing what he loved most was a comfort.

**xXx**

Edward and I both broke down and cried in front of Alfons' grave, and Eric could do nothing but hold us close to him and wait for the tears to subside.

**xXx**

When we walked into Edward's laboratory, returned from Munich, on our last day before we had to return to Cambridge, Edward immediately walked over and began cleaning up the workbench on the far side of the room. When Eric and I just stood and watched, he said, "Alfons would have wanted me to continue this work, so that no one else will have to suffer the way he did."

I smiled, patted him on the back, and went upstairs without saying a word. Eric stayed for a moment to say something encouraging and to give Edward a hug. Eric had always been more affectionate than me.

**xXx**

The next day we got on a train headed north, to Cambridge.

We fell back into the routine quickly, and our studies progressed wonderfully. I had never thought that my life could be so simple as it was there at the university with Eric. So, of course, it couldn't stay that way.

**xXx**

Eric walked into our dorm room one night with a contemplative look on his face. I only glanced up briefly from my books—I had an important exam the next day—but I felt as he came over and ran his fingers softly against the nape of my neck. At his coaxing, I turned my head to accept his kiss, and then went right back to my studies. Usually this didn't bother him; he knew how I was.

Tonight, however, he sat down on the bed with a great, gusty sigh. I marked my place in the book and flipped my chair around to face him, knowing from his attitude that we were in for a talk.

"So," he began eloquently, "At work today the son of the owner asked me to go out for dinner with him."

"Oh," I said, "Was that it?" I really wanted to get back to my books.

He shook his head. "You're always like this, Ed. It's like you don't even care what I do."

"It's your life, Eric. If you want to see him, I can't stop you." I turned away, clearly deciding that this conversation wasn't worth my time at the moment.

"That's another thing!" he protested. "You just disregard me, like I'm not important."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "You are important, Eric. I just have this huge exam tomorrow and if I don't study-"

"Your damned exam will be fine. You ace all of your classes without trying. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you, Edward."

It wasn't often I heard Eric swear...or use my full name. Reluctantly, I put away my books and went to sit next to him on the bed. "Alright, Eric, tell me what's bothering you, and I'll try to change."

"Since this summer—no, maybe earlier than that, maybe since we got together—you've just been ignoring me when I'm inconvenient to you. Like I'm just one of your books, that you pick up and read when I'm useful, when you have a whim to, and otherwise you leave to collect dust. And lately I've been spending a lot more time collecting dust than anything else. I just want you to see me, to spend a little time with me." For his credit, he spoke all of this in a calm, collected tone, without any whining or crying.

"Eric," I responded, using that same, calm tone, "I'm sorry. I guess I have been focusing on my course load more than on you lately. I'll try to do better in the future, I promise."

And then the tears, the poorly held-back tears came flowing from his eyes—and why didn't I notice that in the tone of his voice? Why didn't I realize?-and he pulled away from my comforting hands. "You were supposed to hold me and kiss me and confess your undying love for me, not give me half-felt apologies in that unaffected tone as if you were saying, 'Sorry I didn't score one hundred percent on that exam, Professor. I promise I'll do better next time!'" He stood up, looked down at me with pain in his eyes as he asked, "Did you ever love me, Ed?"

I watched him, his whole countenance begging for me to say yes, and yet, with my heart hurting for him and still pulling me towards your memory, I murmured, "Eric...I...I'm sorry. I wish I could love you, Eric, but in my heart...it's still him. It'll always be him. I'm so sorry."

"No," he replied, wiping fiercely at his tears as he pulled out his bags and began packing. "Don't be sorry. I'm glad it happened now, instead of staying together for five or ten years and then finding out that my lover never loved me." He laughed at the irony of that sentence, his chuckles quickly fading again into sobs.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again, even still. It was the only thing I could even think of to say, the only thing that could even begin to help mend the hurt that I had caused him. It wasn't enough—would never be enough—but it was all I could offer him.

"The boss will let me stay in the apartment above the bookstore. He's already offered it to me several times. I'll come back later for the rest of my things." He stood and walked out with his bags, looking back at me one last time as he muttered, so quietly that I almost didn't catch it, "Take care of yourself, Edward."

As the door closed behind him, I whispered to the unfeeling wood, "I'm sorry."

By trying to be everything that Eric wanted and needed, I had ended up hurting him. In the end, I was no better than his father, and the parting no less painful.

**xXx**

I didn't see Eric much after that, except for the occasional passing glance on campus. I got back from class one day and all of his things were gone. There was one morning that I was out for my run and he came up behind me and then sped up, passing me without turning his head to look at me at all. Despite the fact that I had never loved him, to have him, my friend, suddenly treating me as if I were no one, hurt.

But I pulled through. I threw myself even more diligently into my studies and during breaks, my work, and I finished my time at Cambridge. I became a doctor, a scientist, and soon enough someone a lot of people looked up to. I moved to a small town in the north and established myself there as their sole medical practitioner. In my spare time—when I was not treating colds, pregnant women, and injuries from farming accidents—I continued my experiments with rocket fuel. I kept up correspondence with Edward, and together we made great progress.

I never spoke to Eric again, and eventually the hurt faded away, but I would never forget him, because he had taught me a valuable lesson: Never again would I try to be anything more for a person than I could be.

I didn't take another lover, didn't speak to that world's Roy Mustang anymore, and avoided the attempts of the village women to find me a wife. Instead, I intended to spend the rest of my years doing the things that I loved, and living in the memory of you, the only person I had ever truly loved.


	59. Readjusting

**_Chapter 53: Readjusting_**

"That's about it," Ed murmured, snuggled against Roy on the sofa two weeks after his return to Central. It had taken that long to share the whole story in between work and other obligations. Edward had of course been forced to attend a party thrown in his honor by Riza Hawkeye and some of Roy's other subordinates, and there were plenty of things to keep Ed busy during the day.

"That's it? You spent the rest of the ten years being a family doctor in a quiet little village? That doesn't seem to fit you, Ed." Roy stroked the younger man's hair and smiled. He didn't think he would ever get over the joy that filled him whenever he held this man in his arms.

"I'm not a stupid teenager anymore, Roy. I just wanted to live in peace."

Roy said nothing more, just held Edward closer.

"Anyway," Ed continued, "A few weeks ago I was in my clinic working when there was a white light and I heard Hohenheim speaking to me, telling me that he was giving himself up to save me. Next thing I knew I was laying in the woods on the outskirts of Resembool and an older version of Al was screaming and running towards me. He'd seen the light from his house and knew that it was a human transmutation. You can't even imagine how happy he looked when he saw me."

"I assume he was at least half as happy as I was," Roy joked, smiling.

"Yeah, no one was as happy as you, Fuhrer Bastard." Edward turned to give Roy a playful kiss on the cheek. "Now I'm home, and there's really nothing left to tell. Time we got on with our lives, yeah?"

"Definitely," Roy replied, leaning in for a proper kiss.

**xXx**

It was only a few months after that that Roy held a press conference to announce something very important: he was engaged. Not to a beautiful, petite woman who would run his household and give him children as most of the country wanted, but to a tall, handsome blond man who spent half his week working at Central hospital and the other half volunteering at Madison house, but who always went home to Roy and Selim—his family—at the end of the day.

Some people were upset, predictably, but others were overjoyed at this news, just happy that Roy was happy.

**xXx**

"Hey Ed, come here," Roy called to his lover, who was passing by his study door. Edward paused and glided in, coming to a stop just before the desk.

"Did you need something, Roy?" he asked, looking preoccupied.

"Look at this transmutation circle for me and tell me what's wrong with it," Roy requested, "I can't seem to figure it out."

Ed moved behind him so that he could look at the circle properly, then almost wonderingly he reached out to touch the paper. He stroked the lines of the circle for several minutes, seeming thoughtful, before he pulled away and strode back to the door. Just before passing the threshold he turned slightly over his shoulder and murmured, "There's nothing wrong with it, Roy. You've drawn it perfectly."

Roy looked down at the drawing, back up at his fiancé's retreating back, and then promptly tore the paper in half, cursing. It seemed he'd been right. Either Ed no longer had a will to do Alchemy, or he no longer had the ability.

Roy dearly hoped that it was the former, but judging by Edward's manner, he strongly suspected the latter.

**xXx**

"Uncle Ed, can you help me with this transmutation?" Little Eddie asked shyly.

Ed smiled down at the child, but said kindly, "Why don't you go ask your uncle Roy? He's much better at Alchemy than I am."

Eddie pouted, but sulked off to find Roy nonetheless.

"Would it hurt you to indulge him a little?" Al asked him, almost chiding.

Ed didn't look up as he answered, "He deserves to learn from someone who can actually do Alchemy, Al, and I'm not that person anymore."

**xXx**

Roy wrapped his arms around Ed from behind, and Ed's fingers paused with a button halfway through a hole. "Hey," he murmured, tilting his head to bear more of his neck as Roy began kissing it.

"You know what I miss?" Roy asked, breath hot against his fiancé's skin.

"What?" Ed asked, a little breathlessly, as he gave up all pretense of getting ready for bed, his hands sliding back to stroke Roy's arms instead.

"I miss watching you do Alchemy, the fierce look you get in your eyes, the power I can sense hiding just beneath your skin." He pulled Ed closer, teeth worrying a particularly sensitive bit of throat. "Won't you do just a little bit of Alchemy for me sometime, Ed?"

Ed suddenly pulled away, returning to his task and ignoring Roy's presence. Roy tried to pull him into his arms again, but the younger man resisted.

"What's wrong, Ed?" Roy asked, truly confused.

"Nothing. I'm fine," Ed lied, pulling on his pajamas and loosing his hair, beginning to comb through it. "I just have to be up early tomorrow. I have a lot of appointments in the morning and a surgery in the afternoon and I need to be well rested."

Roy sighed, taking the comb gently from his lover and tending to the tangles in his long mane. "I know there's more to it than that, Edward, but I won't push. You'll tell me when you're ready."

Ed didn't respond, but they fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms that night.

**xXx**

Roy collapsed on the couch next to his equally exhausted husband. "Man, what a day," he groaned.

"Tell me about it," Ed replied, automatically curling towards Roy's warmth. "I don't think I've ever done so many surgeries in one day before in my life. I'm never working in the ER again."

Roy sighed heavily, wrapping an arm around Ed. "Between the press conference, the induction ceremony for the new recruits, and the speech and demonstration for the soldiers, I think I might have actually lost the ability to do alchemy."

Ed stiffened. "Don't joke about that, Roy," he said in a tense voice, looking up at his husband with eyes full of fire.

"Ed..."

Ed ran a hand through his hair, inadvertently loosing a few strands. "I've kept this from you for long enough. I suppose it's time I told you," he mumbled.

Roy ran a comforting hand down his back.

"Roy...I can't do Alchemy anymore; haven't been able to since I came back through the gate. I don't know why, but even if I try, I can't activate a transmutation circle anymore." He buried his face in Roy's neck, ashamed.

"I don't care." Ed didn't look up, but Roy could tell he was listening. "I don't care if you can never do Alchemy again, Edward. That's not the reason I married you. I'm proud of you for who you are. You have so many other talents, and Alchemy doesn't have to define you. You lived without it for ten years in England, how much harder can it be now?"

"In England I knew that no one could use Alchemy, that it didn't even exist there, and that made it easier to bear. Here I see other people do Alchemy all the time, hear them talk about it. It's harder, knowing that I used to be able to join them and now I...can't." He turned from Roy, moving to get up.

Roy pulled him back, held him closer than before. "I love you, Edward. Whether you can ever do Alchemy again I still love you. I would gladly give up my own Alchemy if it meant that yours could be returned to you."

Ed sighed, tangled his fingers in Roy's hair and murmured, "Even if it were possible I wouldn't let you. I have been given so many wonderful, impossible gifts already. I don't need anything more."

They sat thus for long minutes before either felt inclined to move.


	60. The End

**A/N: **This is part of a five-chapter mass post of the end of this story. Before reading this, please go back to Chapter 50 (56): Disowned and read your way up to this one.

It's finally finished, after nearly a year's hiatus and almost three years total of work. I am so glad to be done. Thank you to everyone who went through this journey with me, especially those who have been waiting patiently during my many hiatuses while I got my life put back together. It's been a bumpy ride, and I've learned a lot about myself and my writing along the way. Thank you again, everyone, even if you've never reviewed at all, because I love to look at my story stats and see how many hits I've gotten.

* * *

**_Chapter 54: The End_**

Three years after their marriage and Roy and Ed were still living happily, having fallen into comfortable understanding together, and having seen Selim off to university, proud that they could both say that they'd had a hand in bringing him there. Edward had spent several months prior to Selim's entrance exams helping the boy study. Roy had, of course, always been behind the scenes raising Selim and helping him to grow intellectually, and though he would never admit it later, he had been the most emotional when seeing Selim off.

Many things had changed. They had a one-year-old niece named Tasha, whom Ed spoiled shamelessly, but only because he adored her so much, having helped to deliver her. Winry never stopped scolding him for it, but even Ed could see the affection in her eyes.

Ed was a reputable doctor after three years working in Central Hospital, and the board of governors kept trying to promote him to Chief of Hospital Staff, but he was reluctant to leave his position as Head Physician, feeling that that was where he could make the most difference.

Roy was still the Fuhrer, of course, and was running the country as smoothly as he knew how. Though it was hard work, it was the most rewarding he could have asked for, especially when he always knew what was waiting for him at home.

"I'm back. What's for dinner?" Roy called into the quiet house, toeing his shoes off and setting his briefcase down with one hand while pulling at the buttons on his uniform coat with the other.

"I just got off a fourteen hour shift. What could have possibly caused you to think that I would be making your dinner?" Ed's beloved voice floated out from the kitchen, and there was a clinking of pots that falsified his statement.

"Because you love me and you can't stand to eat my cooking?" Roy asked innocently, leaning against the kitchen doorway and watching his husband work.

Ed grumbled, but to Roy's ears it was clearly an agreement. "What, no proper greeting?" he scolded, brushing his long hair back with one hand as he lifted a spoon to stir a pot of soup that looked about to boil over.

Roy smiled, coming over to give his husband a kiss, then stood behind and held him, resting his chin on the blond's shoulder as he watched him cook. "I'm so lucky you love me."

"You're lucky you're a horrible cook. How did you and Selim survive?"

"Instant food and Riza."

"You're a terrible father. How could you feed that to your son?" He swatted at Roy with a spatula and nearly missed as the older man dodged, but managed to just clip his arm.

"I didn't have much choice. It was that or let him starve."

"Failure," Edward repeated, removing pots from the stove. "Go set the table."

Roy complied, dropping a kiss on Ed's neck as he pulled away. He felt the slap of flesh on his behind and turned, a suspicious eyebrow raised. Edward gave him an innocent smile and gestured at the cupboard where they kept the plates. They laughed together as Roy turned again, and Roy basked in how wonderful it was to leave work and return to his husband at night.

**xXx**

It was Edward's 30th birthday, and Roy was hurrying home to his husband so they could prepare for the party that night. He never saw it coming.

He was opening the gate when suddenly there was intense pain and the world faded to black.

**xXx**

"ROY!"

Ed had been in the kitchen and happened to glance out the front window, watching for his husband, when he saw the other man reach to unlatch the gate and suddenly jerk back, red blooming on his chest. He ran outside, praying to whatever God may be listening that Roy would live. "We've had so little time," he murmured, "Don't take him from me now."

He was quick in his response, but it was no use. The sniper's bullet had hit Roy directly in the heart and he'd most likely been dead before he even reached the pavement. Ed knelt, weeping, at his lover's side while the bodyguards whirled around him, trying to find the sniper as they reported the incident into their radios.

"Doctor Elric," one called to him, "Is the Fuhrer alright?"

Ed couldn't respond, his throat too choked with tears, but his doctor's instincts reacted as his fingers laid weakly on Roy's pulse point and he glanced brokenly at his watch, thinking to himself, _"Time of death: 6:12 PM."_

When Riza and her team arrived the assassin was long gone and Edward had collapsed, devastated and exhausted, on top of his husband's body. He roused only at Riza's voice, and he looked up at her with red, bloodshot eyes and murmured, "Riza, he's gone." This brought fresh tears to his eyes, and while he would not be moved from Roy's side, Riza knelt beside him and wrapped comforting arms around his shoulders, her own tears being held back by sheer force of will as she took control and ordered her troops to search for the sniper.

"I want him found yesterday," she snapped. "Canvas the area, leave no rock unturned. Bring in extra enforcements if you have to. The Fuhrer's...the Fuhrer's killer will be found."

Edward could only cry.

**xXx**

"Fuhrer, these reports need to be signed."

A sigh. "Very well. Bring them in."

The rustle of papers as they're delivered. "How are you?"

"Exhausted. But I'll be alright."

"Good to hear. How is he?"

"Coping. It's been hard, but we're all making it through."

"Good to hear. Take care of yourself...and him, alright?"

"Thanks, Havoc. I will."

"No problem, Fuhrer Hawkeye."

**xXx**

A quiet knock, and he looked up tiredly. Seeing who it was, he tried to give a small smile. "Hey," he murmured softly.

"Hello," she responded, her hand resting gently on the door. "How are you holding up?"

"I'll be better once I finish this and can go home. I don't even remember the last time I ate a proper meal." He gestured the files sitting on his desk, rubbing his eyes with the other hand.

"Maybe you should take a break, go on vacation."

"Are you kidding? Work is what's keeping me sane right now."

"It's been six months, Edward. How long are you going to be in mourning?"

A flat look. "Until Roy comes back, Hawkeye."

"He's not coming back, Ed. He's gone."

"I know that, Riza."

She sighed, watched him for a moment, then murmured, "Come over tonight. I'll make you dinner."

"Riza..."

"I know. I watched Roy fall apart when you left, and I took care of him then. Now it's your turn to be subjected to my mothering instincts."

"You're busy."

"Obviously not, if I'm here bothering you. Promise you'll come?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good."

**xXx**

"Hey, Ed?"

"Yeah, Selim?"

"You loved my dad, didn't you?" Arms wrapped around knees, like a small child.

"Of course I did, Selim. Why do you ask?"

"If there had been any way to save him you would have done it, right?" Eyes welling with tears.

Strong arms wrapped around a thin frame. "I would have. Alchemy knows I would have. I was too late, Selim. There was nothing anyone could have done."

"I wish there had been."

"Me too, Selim. Me too."

**xXx**

A headline: "Famous Doctor Edward Elric Dies of Heart Failure at Age 32." A picture: a young-looking blond wearing a lab coat, his hair cut short against his head and his face morose, a clipboard in his hands. The caption: Dr. Edward Elric treating patients at Central Hospital, where he worked for five years before suddenly collapsing during his shift.

Paper crumpling in trembling hands, ink running with salty tears. Warm arms, a comforting embrace. Loved, yet so very, very alone.

"Mom, am I a curse?"

"No, Baby, why would you think that?"

"Everyone I love dies."

"Selim, everyone dies eventually. Did you really think that your father, or Edward, or Richard would live forever? There's a time for everything, and their times came sooner than we might have liked, but we can be grateful for the time we had with them."

"Dad and Edward had so little time, though. They had three years together. I barely knew Ed before he was taken from me."

"That's the way life goes sometimes, Selim. We cannot possibly know what is in store for us, and we can't control life and death. We can only cherish the time we have."

"I didn't cherish that time, not enough. I wish I could go back, Mom."

"You can only move forward, Baby."

"But why?"

"I don't think there's a person in the world who can answer that question, Selim."

More tears. Weeping together, Mother and Son, loving when their loves had left them.

**xXx**

"Uncle Ed come?"

"No, Sweetie, Uncle Ed isn't going to come."

"Why not, Mama?"

"Uncle Ed is gone, Tasha-baby. He's not coming back."

"He leave like Granny?"

"Yes, Baby, he left like Granny did last year. It's okay, Honey, don't cry."

Scooped up in mother's arms, held tightly. Loved, cherished, and not understanding the tragedy surrounding her. How fortunate to be a child.

**xXx**

Edward Elric sat at his kitchen table, a letter in his hands. He stared sightlessly at the paper for many long minutes, wondering how he could be so unfortunate.

A distant knock, but he went on staring. The tramp of feet beneath him but still no response until there were gentle fingers prying the letter from his hands, strong arms wrapping around him, and he buried his face in one wide shoulder and wept.

"It's alright, Edward. I'm here."

"He's gone. The only one left...he's gone."

"I know, Edward. I'm so sorry."

Clutching fingers on the other man's jacket. "I miss him."

"I know you do. I would be worried if you didn't."

"Why did this happen, Roy?"

"We're not meant to know why people die, why they leave us."

"He was all I had left."

A tightening of comforting arms. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"Fine. But, Edward?"

"What?"

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm here for you. And I...love you."

Teary eyes looking up, questioning. "Roy?"

A cautious kiss. Another, less careful. Love, comfort, forgiveness, and somewhere on their horizon: joy.


End file.
